Trials and Triumphs II
By: Morris Henderson
(Copyright 2012 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
 

Chapter 4
ANOTHER VALUE DILEMMA

While Mike was in the bathroom, Eric sat on the edge of the bed and made a painful decision.

“Well,” Mike said when he returned, “shall we have a bit of fun?”

“I’d like to, Mike.  It’s what I’ve wanted since I first saw you back at the lake.  But I can’t.  It’s not because you would be cheating on your lover.  You convinced me that’s not a problem.  The reason is a one of my hang ups.  I don’t know whether I can explain it but hear me out.  For a long time I lived with a man, an older man.  He hired me as his personal assistant.  But I knew going in that he wanted me only for sex.  I was his private whore boy and I was obligated to be available whenever he wanted me.  And that was usually several times a day.  He was very rich and promised we would travel the world for the next few years.  He was generous and considerate but in all that time there was no affection.  I walked out on him ... walked away from a life of luxury and world travel.”

Mike was listening with surprise and said, “That’s an unusual story.  A lot of gay guys would like to live like that.”

“I did ... for a while.  And you’re probably wondering why I gave it up.  You may not agree with my reasons.  I think physical sex without an emotional connection can be satisfying but after the sex is over, what’s left?  Nothing.  Sex can only be great when it’s an expression of genuine love, love that permeates every moment of your life.  What I’m looking for ... hoping for ... is that kind of sex — sex based on love.  The kind you have with Larry.  If there’s no chance of winning your love, Mike, and giving you mine, then I would be no more than one of your clients.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not criticizing you for what you do because I did the same thing.  I did it for one man; you do it for several.  But it was just a job for me and nothing more.  It’s the ‘more’ that I want.  I want what you and Larry have.  Love ... not an obligation.”

“I can understand that,” Mike said.  “I guess I’m lucky to have found Larry.”

“Yes, you were.  I wasn’t.  I didn’t like my job.  Maybe I’d feel different if I had a variety of customers.  But back to my reason for not having sex with you.  Would I enjoy it?  Yes and no.  It would be thrilling while it lasted.  But afterwards I’d be left with the disappointment of not having your love.  It would be a one night stand ... temporarily gratifying but in the long term it would leave me frustrated that I couldn’t have you as a permanent partner.  If none of that makes any sense to you, I apologize.”

“On the contrary, Eric.  I’ve experienced something similar.  Larry and I met while working for the escort service.  One night when neither of us had a client I was horny.  I made moves to get him into bed.  But he refused for reasons similar to what you’ve just told me.  He said he got plenty of sex on the job.  Away from the job, he wanted to have sex only with someone he felt he could live with ... and love.  We dated for six months without any sex and as a result became very good friends.  Then one magical evening we expressed our love for each other and consummated our union.  It was almost mystical.  It was the first time that I felt the full power of love.  And being half of a much larger entity.  Do I understand where you’re coming from?  Absolutely!  Yes, I want to have sex with you.  But only because I respect and admire you.  And I want to make you happy.”

“That was sweet of you, Mike.  But like I said, I don’t want to do something that I would enjoy and then have to live knowing there would never be any more.”

“I understand that.  But may I offer an alternative analysis?  You don’t want to suffer with the knowledge that we can’t have sex again.  But consider this.  If you decline the opportunity now, won’t you still have the same feelings?  Won’t you continue to wish you could have more?  What’s the difference?  The difference is that you’ll regret NOT having sex with me when you had the chance.  We can enjoy each other now, fully aware that it’s a one-time event.  Sure, it will be just recreational sex without emotional attachment.  But it will be wonderful and a memory that you can look back on.”

Eric was silent for a long time.  Mike waited for a response, knowing that Eric had to evaluate his options.  He hoped that his argument had been persuasive because he was very attracted to Eric and he was quite horny.  It would not be the same as sex with Larry but it would be enjoyable.  It certainly would not be the same as sex with a client, which was sometimes enjoyable but usually just doing a job.

“You’re right, Mike.  Either way, I’ll be sad because I can’t win your love.  But I have to admit you’ve changed my mind.  I want to do it even if it’s only once.”

“Thank you,” Mike grinned.  “I’ve met only one person in my life, that’s Larry, who I’ve wanted more than you.  You’re that desirable.  Who knows?  If I had met you first, both our lives would be very different.”

Eric stripped off his boxers and lay down next to Mike.  The next hour was filled with sensual pleasure for both young men.

<><><><><> 

At eleven that morning, they returned their rented horses to the stable, having enjoyed the cool morning riding along the trails of the park.  They decided to have an early lunch because they had skipped breakfast in favor of extended sex in Eric’s room.  After lunch, the temperature had risen to almost ninety and Mike suggested, “Let’s go back to that secluded cove where we first met.  A dip in the lake would feel good.”

Eric readily agreed, “Good idea.  And this time I’ll enjoy it more.”

“What do you mean?” Mike asked.

“The first time we met, I was panicked because you caught me naked.  Then when I saw you take off your clothes, I was somewhat relieved because you were naked, too.  But as we talked I got very frustrated.  You were so friendly.  And you had a gorgeous body.  But I was sure you were straight and nothing would ever happen between us.  That frustration only got worse.  Until this morning.  Now, I’ll feel completely comfortable being naked in the water with you.”

Mike chuckled, “You’re not the only one who felt frustrated.  I had about the same feelings from the first moment I saw you.”

“Really?”  Eric asked.  “You’ve got Larry ... and lots of sex with your clients.  Why would you want to do anything with me?”

“Don’t be so damned modest,” Mike said with a friendly grin.  “Do I have to spell it out?  You’ve got a great body.  A great cock.  And to top it off, your personality and character are admirable.  Any gay guy ... or any girl for that matter ... would give anything to have you as a partner.”

Both young men thoroughly enjoyed frolicking in the refreshingly cool water of the lake, laughing much of the time as they splashed and dunked one another.  Their playfulness evolved into something else when Mike grabbed Eric’s cock, gave it a quick tug, and retreated.  The victim pursued the aggressor without any sexual motives but as a continuation of their playfulness.  Grabs and tugs quickly escalated to hugging, mutual fondling, and shared enjoyment.  Inevitably, each felt his cock inflate.  At that point their lighthearted competition was supplanted by instinctual biological drive that assumed control of their thoughts.

Mike was the first to voice what was on both of their minds.  Grinding his crotch against Eric’s, he whispered, “Let’s go back on shore.  I think we both need to take care of a problem.”

Eric knew what that meant and eagerly agreed.

They found a spot with tall grass not far from where they had left their clothes.  It was surrounded on three sides by thick underbrush and overlooked the cove.  Hands, tongues, and lips roved — sometimes gently, sometimes teasingly, and sometimes almost aggressively — over the two naked bodies.  When neither could delay the culmination of their foreplay any longer, each achieved a massive orgasm in a sixty-nine position.  Eric’s was the first but Mike’s soon followed.

They snuggled together for a long time before Eric’s curiosity demanded satisfaction.  “Tell me about your job.  What kind of customers do you have?”

“Where do I start?” Mike asked rhetorically.  “They run the full gamut, I suppose.  Mostly, they’re middle aged or older.  That’s because they can afford the price of dinner, a hotel room, and a companion ... and because younger men can easily attract willing partners.  Most are married.  That may surprise you.  I don’t know the exact percentage because some don’t reveal any personal information.  I’ve got a few steady customers.  One guy books me almost every Wednesday night while his wife goes to her bridge club.  Another one wants to see me Sunday mornings while his wife is in church.  He’s out of town today so that’s why I drove up here yesterday.  The majority of them, however, are just passing through Dallas or Fort Worth on business.  I also service a few lonely women but there’s far fewer of them.  You’re probably wondering what the guys want.  That ranges from the standard — blow jobs, rimming, fucking — to the unusual.  One guy just wants us to get naked and snuggle together.  He never gets hard and I don’t either.  We just talk before going to sleep.  He pours out his soul to me and I listen sympathetically.  Another regular is a local politician.  You’d recognize the name if I told you ... but I won’t.  Strict confidentiality is demanded.  That’s the reason for the big increase in the number of clients.  So, yes, there’s a wide variety of customers and each has his own individual needs.”

“Do you have any that want to do things TO you but don’t want any service in return?”

“Occasionally.  Why do you ask?”

“Because that’s what Ted was like.  More than half the time he just wanted to explore my body and suck me off or have me fuck him.”

“Can’t say I blame him for that,” Mike replied.  “At least the first part about exploring your magnificent body.”

Eric grinned at the compliment and said, “I’d say what I’m thinking but you told me not to be too humble.”

Mike laughed.  A short time later he said, “It’s been wonderful with you, Eric.  But I’d better be on my way home.”

“It HAS been wonderful,” Eric gushed.  “I can’t thank you enough for the way you made these two days the best in my life.”

As they put on their clothes, Eric said, “I’d like to get together again from time to time ... not for sex ... just because I’d like to be your friend.”

“Count on it!” Mike exclaimed.  “Give me a call anytime.  We’ll work something out.”

“I’ll do that.  And bring lucky Larry along.  I’d like to meet the man who owns your heart.”

Eric drove home thinking about his weekend.  The frustration of being with a handsome guy but thinking he was straight and unavailable — and the mental turmoil when he learned Mike was gay but still unavailable — were outweighed by the extraordinarily erotic times in bed and on the shore.  It may have begun with the difficulty of wanting what he couldn’t have but it ended with two glorious sexual couplings with a new friend.  Yes.  A friend!  He would never be the lover that Eric wanted but he was quite happy to have gained a friend.

<><><><><> 

“So how was the time off?  What did you do?” Grant asked eagerly when Eric arrived home.

“I spent the weekend at Ray Roberts State Park.  It’s a beautiful place.  I had a great time.”

“That’s good, kid.  I’m delighted you got away from an old man for at least a little while.”

“I didn’t get away from you,” Eric protested.  He grinned and added, “You kicked me out.  Remember?”

“I did it for your own good.  So tell me what you did for two days.”

 “I met another guy who visits the park frequently.  He showed me around.  We swam, hiked, took a horseback ride, and had a very good time.”

“I’m glad,” Grant gushed.  “I told you that you ought to be around guys your own age.  And I’m glad you had a friend with you.  That doubles the pleasure, doesn’t it?  You gonna see him again?”

“Probably.  He lives not too far away, in Dallas.  I suppose we can meet for dinner once in a while.”

“DO IT!”  Grant exclaimed but thought a moment and added, “That is, if you like him and want to.”

“I like him a lot and I want to.  Don’t worry about it.  Okay?”

Grant suddenly got a curious look on his face and paused before asking, “You like him a lot?  Does that mean that you and he....  Never mind.  It’s none of my business, is it?”

“No, it isn’t, Grant.  But like I said before, if and when I find someone, you’ll be the first to know.”

Grant flashed an enigmatic smile and said, “I hope it works out for you.”

Because Eric had come to know Grant very well his curious smile conveyed a meaning.  The man sensed that the new friend was probably the companion that Eric wanted.

To be continued...

My thanks to Iatia for his consistently meticulous editing and for his continuing encouragement.

Posted:09/14/12