A Special Love
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Back at school I throw myself into the routine, especially to bring up the grade point average that fell a little during the time I was trying to help Geof. I really want to, not so much for me as for my dad because he didn't give me any grief over it.
I often think of Roberto and I'm beginning to wonder what's happened because I've received no mail from him. I know he says he loves me, but I wish I could believe it's as a lover and not just as a friend. I'm only sorry that I didn't get a chance to hold him in my arms as he told me I could.
A couple of weeks later I find a message in my mail:
Amigo Cam, It take long to get time at computer room to send message. My heart full of joy for kindness of Señor Carruthers and you. Mi companeros de clase not believe my computer and fine clothes. Mother have tears when she see new cloth, already she have 2 dress made. She so beautiful when she wear. She fix 2 suit for to fit father. He has, you say, pride not like before. They not believe pictures I show of you and Señor Corruthers, su casa and casa de Señor Carruthers.
I take English class this term, I hope to learn better to write. I have not English to speak what in my heart. I no understand when el Señor Canciller tell me I bequista. Is of Señor Carruthers? I send e-mail to el Señor. You please to offer also to el Señor mi gratitud. Father take money he save for my school to fix cantina beautiful now.
Know my love, amigo. Roberto
Three weeks before exams are to begin Mr. C calls and asks if I have this weekend free. I do and promise to drive up Friday after class.
His welcome is as warm as always and dinner is great. After we've finished eating he asks me into his study for coffee. "Cam," he says after we're seated, "may I ask you a very personal question? It's really none of my business, but I would like to satisfy my mind."
"Other than my parents, there's no one with more right, sir."
"Thank you, Cam. I assure you your answers will go no further."
I feel a drop of sweat forming, then he drops it on me.
Are you gay, Cam? And if so, was that part of your attraction to Geof and then Roberto?"
For a few moments I'm so suddenly dizzy I almost fall forward from the arm chair I'm in, but rally in time and sit back until my mind clears. I nod. I can't speak.
He smiles. "I'm sorry if I upset you. I knew Geof was gay. He told me he fell in love with you the first day, but didn't want you to know because he had a feeling his time was close."
My tears are flowing now. "I loved him, sir, but he never let me tell him."
"You didn't have to. Acts speak far louder than words, and you never hesitated to help him even though he tried to put you off. Only someone who loved him would have done what you did, even letting your grades drop off because you spent so much time helping him."
"He was so beautiful, sir. So is Roberto."
"And the attraction there?"
"I can't help it, sir, but I have always thought of amputees as being more perfect."
"An imperfection adds beauty?"
"Put that way I guess it sounds sick, but to me a stump on a beautiful man is like the icing on a cake."
He smiles. "I know several works of art that the artist purposely flawed slightly because he felt nothing could be perfect. You seem to feel the same."
I nod.
"You've given me your usual honesty, though I'm sure it was hard for you. That's one of the reasons why I admire you, Cam. Please don't think this lessens my opinion of you by the slightest fraction. It makes you a more compassionate person if the way you responded to Geof is any indication.
"I've had several recent e-mails from Roberto. A few times I've had to have a close friend partially translate them for me, so I hope you will take Spanish and study as diligently as he is studying English, because he is in love with you, Cam."
"Sir?" I can't believe what he's just said.
"I thought that might bring a smile to your face. He told me because I told him I'm his American father. He was afraid of how you might feel and turned to me. I'm making arrangements for him to come for a couple of weeks this summer, so you both have something to look forward to. His university gets out later than ours, so I will let you know, but plan on being with Roberto and me at the beach house the last week of June and the first week in July."
I get up and hug him. "Oh, thank you, sir."
The rest of the weekend is such a blur in my joy Mr. C asks a couple of times if my feet have hit the floor yet. I guess they still haven't.
I return to school and bury myself in study. A student from Mexico gives me a few crash lessons in Spanish so I won't make a complete fool of myself with Roberto. The end result is that I sail through all my exams with confidence and speak a few words of Spanish, though Tomas laughs and says my accent is dreadful.
After my last exam I head for home to wait for Mr. C's call. While I'm there my grades come in – all A's. My parents are thrilled, dad especially; his hug is solid proof, especially when he tells me to take as long as I want for the holiday at the beach with Roberto.
Monday of the last week of June, Mr.C calls and gives me directions to his beach cottage, telling me to be there by four. It's only an hour away for me so I've plenty of time to get ready.
I guess maybe I don't have much good sense, because my mind is blown again when I get there. It's a huge four-storey place in what the locals call millionaire's row. He was wise enough not to build directly on the oceanfront, but across the road on a sand dune which gives the place a sweeping view of the ocean. I pull the Jag to one side of the drive because he's not there, but before I can take my bag from the boot, a Bronco pulls in.
Roberto jumps out and grabs me in a hug. "Oh, Cam! How I wait for this, amigo. I have much joy when Señor Carruthers tell me you have love for me also."
"I loved you from the first moment I saw you, Roberto, mi amor." I turn to Mr. C, "I hope you had a nice trip down, sir."
He hugs me and smiles. "It was very pleasant with Roberto's company. If you will, move the Jag under the cottage next to my Bronco to give John room to park and we'll go in. He and cook will be here in time to fix dinner for us."
"You're bringing them down, sir?"
"Of course. They enjoy being here and their duties are light, so they'll have plenty of time for themselves. Besides, you don't want to try my cooking; it's terrible."
I move the Jag and pick up my bag. Mr. C says, "Let's go in, I need to turn on the air conditioner." He puts a key in a switch by the door to a small enclosed space and turns it. A few seconds later a small elevator car stops and the door opens. "I had this installed for Geof. You young guys take the steps up to the second level. I'll open the door from the inside."
When we're inside, he explains the cottage has a reversed floor plan. There's no real first floor because the ground level is in a flood plain. The second level is bedrooms and baths for guests and a separate section for the servants. He leads us into a room with a huge king-sized bed.
"Would you like this together, or separate rooms?"
I look at Roberto's broad smile and say it will be just right. We set our bags down then follow him up a flight of interior stairs. The third level is the huge master bedroom with a sitting area and a bath with a large Jacuzzi on the extended deck. The fourth level is all one room, living room, kitchen, and eating area combined. It's nicely furnished, but with rugged stuff that sand and the humid climate won't destroy. Outside is a spacious deck with as beautiful a view of the ocean as I had anticipated.
Roberto looks around in amazement, then opens the sliding door to the deck and steps out to look at the ocean. "Is Atlantic, si? I not see ocean before."
I put my arm around him. "That's it. Do you swim?"
"Not much. I go in … ," he pauses to think, "lake at home. Not much time for swim."
"We'll have a lot of time to lie on the beach and swim, if you like. Do not go in without someone; there are dangerous rip tides here," I explain.
He gives me a beautiful smile. "Two week not much time, Cam. I want to be with you all the time."
"And I want to be with you, Roberto. I love you." I kiss him then he starts to shake his head. "What?" I ask.
He holds me at arms' length and looks me over carefully. "Señor Carruthers and you be rich men. I be poor. How can you love?"
I put my hand on his chest. "You are rich in here, my love. That is why."
"You are both rich in your hearts," Mr. C says. He's come up and puts his arms around both of us. "That is why I am proud to call both of you son."
We each hug this wonderful man.
"Señor Carruthers, with permission, I wish to speak for advice."
"Any time, Roberto. If this is important, let's wait until we can talk alone."
"With respect, Señor, I wish Cam also."
"Of course, son. Now get unpacked and enjoy yourselves. There are drinks in the bar fridge. It'll take the air conditioner a few minutes to cool this place down."
Roberto and I get our things put away then go back upstairs for a Coke. Roberto loves them. Just as I've opened the cans, cook and her husband come into the kitchen area. She smiles when she sees us. "l'm so glad you boys are here. I haven't seen Mr. Carruthers this excited about coming here since before Geof's trouble."
"It's good to see you, too, but after two weeks of your good cooking I'll be fat."
"You complain just like Geof used to." She shakes her head. "You boys will play so hard you won't gain an ounce."
"I hope so. I wish I could cook like you."
"I'd let you help some, but Mr.Carruthers wouldn't like it."
I grin. "I'll ask him nicely."
"Get on with you. As soon as John brings up the groceries I've got to start dinner."
It's not too hot and there's a nice breeze, so Roberto and I go out to sit under the awning over the deck.
Roberto looks at me with his sweet smile. "I still not believe I am with you once more, mi amor."
"I know. It seems forever since I saw you last." I smile back. "I never got to hold you last time, so tonight I'm making up for it."
He grins and playfully slaps my hand. "What you say in America … down boy?"
"No way! It's gonna be up."
He shakes his finger at me. "You maybe not so good boy?"
I grin back. "Only sometimes, love."
Mr. C comes out with a drink in his hand and pulls up a deck chair next to us. "I see cook has everything well in hand, so this will be a good time to talk, Roberto. What is it?"
"With respect, Señor, I wish to change study at university."
"Oh? To what?"
"Mi profesor say I have much fine computer; I must study computer. Is much better job in Quito, pay more than law."
"Will you be happy with that?"
"Si, Señor, now I have fine computer to work. University have few for study at much cost. A poor man have no way."
Mr. C looks at Roberto closely. "Would you be willing to attend a university in this country where you will have the newest and best equipment to work with?"
"Is impossible, Señor. You give beca to university at home."
Mr. C looks at me. "I think he means the scholarship, sir."
"Yes, of course. Roberto, it is a renewable one-year scholarship, so I can switch it to the university here with no trouble at all."
Roberto looks at me. "Do it, love, we can room together. Mr. C won't lose anything if you go to school here." I tell him.
"Is possible, Señor?"
"Very possible. I will see that you are able to fly home for Christmas and the summer, unless you wish to attend summer sessions."
"What about his papers, sir?" I ask. "One of the foreign students had a bad time with Immigration last year."
"No problem, Cam. The company legal department does this all the time."
I reach for Roberto's hand. "If Mr. C can get all your papers in order will you attend the U and room with me?"
He squeezes my hand. "I like much, mi Cam."
"Does your university have e-mail in the registrar's office, Roberto?"
"Si, Senor. I have address."
"Then you must ask for your transcript to be sent to the university here immediately for evaluation. I would not want you to be short on credits."
"What is transcript?"
Mr. C smiles and gets up. He's back in a few moments with a small Spanish dictionary and flips the pages. "Yes, hoja de estudios."
Roberto smiles at his pronunciation. "Si." He looks at me. "You tell what to say. I send e-mail tonight if possible."
"Then I had better call our lawyers and get them cracking on the paperwork," Mr. C adds.
After dinner I help Roberto with his request. We have to borrow Mr. C's dictionary for me to look up the proper terms in Spanish when Roberto does not know the meaning of the English words I tell him to use.
About time we finish the request and send it, Mr. C comes in the living room. "I left a message on voice mail, so the legal office should begin work tomorrow morning. They know to call me here if they have any questions."
Roberto looks incredulous.
"What?" I ask.
"So fast everything go. Not so in my country."
Mr. C smiles. "Time is short and the University does not move swiftly. We must have your admission acceptance before we can obtain your student visa, Roberto."
"I have hope, Senor. Mi familia have sorrow I leave home, but be happy I study in great American university."
"I'm sure your university is quite good, Roberto, but the computer equipment here will be more up to date I think."
"Si, Senor." Roberto looks at me and smiles. "Also here I have Cam."
There's no way to describe my first night in bed with Roberto. He keeps me from rushing things, content to hold me, caress my body, and give me an occasional kiss. When I at last get to stroke his stump, he sighs heavily as my finger finds its way along the deep fissures created by the scars. Geof's stump was smooth and rounded, so I'm saddened to see Roberto's is so rough.
"So ugly," he whispers. "How can you touch?"
"It's rough, but it's yours and I love you, Roberto. Am I hurting you?"
"No, Cam. Is gone long time, not hurt. You dulce, feel good."
"You should always feel good, Roberto. You're so beautiful."
He pulls me up against him. "You are beautiful one, Cam. I have much love for you."
The kiss I give him is lingering, our arms around each other as we go to sleep.
Roberto and I spend a lot of time on the beach getting great tans and doing a lot of swimming. I would have loved to surf a little, but the ocean is too calm the entire time. Mr. C and I also show Roberto all the sights and attend The Lost Colony one evening. On the way back home from the play, Roberto says, "Much like Spanish and Indian in my country."
"And is there still discrimination?"
"No so much now. But best work go to those not Indian." He smiles. "Is good I have much Spanish not much Indian."
Mr. C smiles at him. "Not so different in this country, Roberto. Some things are slow to change."
Each night the love Roberto and I share grows stronger. He is gentle and understanding, letting me hold and caress him as much as I want. He also grows accustomed to my adoration of his stump though he always shakes his head in disbelief when I stroke it gently.
"I much happy you have no care my leg is gone, Cam, but I not feel a man when I use crutches," he tells me. I try to understand, but his beauty without it overwhelms me, just as Geof's did. Despite my pleas for him to use crutches, he uses the leg unless we're on the beach.
The night before Roberto is to leave for home Mr. C's cook treats us to an extraordinary dinner. That's when it crashes in on me how swiftly these two weeks have flown by. Worse is that we've had no word from the university about Roberto's transfer. I sniffle once or twice, and Mr. C picks up on it.
"What's wrong, Cam?"
"I don't want Roberto to go home. I'll miss him so much."
Roberto looks at me with tears in his eyes. "I will miss you, Cam, el Senõr also. This is dream to me, I always remember."
Mr. C looks none to happy either. "My sons, you have made this a holiday to remember with the greatest pleasure, but it will be only a few more weeks before you will be back together at school."
"But we haven't heard anything from them, sir," I say.
"I told you and Roberto it takes time, Cam. Don't get discouraged so quickly."
"I'll try, but it's going to be hard."
"For me, also," Roberto says.
Mr. C smiles. "I'm glad you've become so close. Now enjoy the time that you have left, and I hope to see a lot of you both when school opens."
After breakfast the next morning, we pack while cook and her husband clear the fridge and clean the cottage. It's nearly ten when I go down to put my bag in the car. Mr. C and Roberto put their things in the Bronco, then Roberto pulls me in a hug and kisses me firmly.
"Cam, mi amor, I have much joy with you. I do not wish to go. I make prayer I come to university to study and live with you."
I kiss him back. "I will be glad to go back to school if you're there, Roberto. I'll call housing as soon as Mr. C lets me know you're coming and ask for you as my roommate. Take care. I love you."
"I love you, Cam."
I spend the rest of the summer working for my dad at the shop, but by the second week of August I'm beginning to worry because I've heard nothing from Mr. C. On Saturday evening I give him a call. After the usual catching up, I ask, "Sir, have you heard anything about Roberto's acceptance at school?"
"No, I haven't. I'm glad you reminded me, because I've been out of town quite a bit. I'll call a friend and see what the hold up is and get back to you."
"Thanks a lot. I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I got a note from housing telling me who my new roommate is and it isn't Roberto. I hope they'll let me change when he comes."
"Try not to worrry, Cam, things will work out."
"Yes, sir, but it's hard not knowing with school opening in two weeks."
"I'll let you know as soon as I find out anything."
When he hasn't called back by Tuesday the prospect of returning to school becomes a drudge despite a nice note from my assigned roommate to which I've not replied. My parents notice and ask me what's wrong.
After I tell them I was hoping Roberto would be admitted and we could room together, my dad says, "I know you like Roberto, Cam; he's a charming young man. But things don't always go the way we wish. Try not to be disappointed; just study like you always have and perhaps Mr. Carruthers will bring him back for another visit."
My reserve breaks; tears start to roll down my cheeks. "You don't understand. We're in love."
"You're what!" My dad shouts.
I look at mom and see her crying, then realize what I've done. "I'm sorry, dad, mom. I didn't mean to tell you yet."
My dad just looks at me unbelievingly, then gets up slowly and goes into the kitchen. When he returns he's holding a drink. I know then he's really upset because he never drinks except for the one social drink he nurses the entire time he's at a party.
After taking a long pull at his drink, he looks at me, shaking his head. "Please tell me you're not a queer, Cam."
"I'm gay, dad. I've known since I started high school. That's why I never dated except for the proms."
He takes another swallow of his drink. "But how? Is it something your mother and I did?"
"No. When I took that class in psychology I found out gays are born that way." I get up and go hug my mother, whispering, "I love you."
She hugs me back, and I go to dad. He flinches when I hug him. "I'm sorry, dad. I know you're disappointed, but I love you."
He doesn't hug me back as he usually does, but he doesn't push me away. "I'm going to bed. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
He finishes his drink then he and mom go to their bedroom. Though it's early, I go upstairs to mine and crawl into bed. I can faintly hear my parents talking together, and I cry a little at having put them through this before I finally fall asleep.
Breakfast is somber without anyone speaking until we've finished. Mom gets more coffee for us and sits down.
"Cam, your mother and I talked a long time last night. We're disappointed, but you're still our son and we love you. Tell us when this all started. Does Mr. Carruthers know?"
I hang my head. "I'm sorry I've let you and mom down, dad, but I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. It's been tearing me up."
"I wish you had told us when you first knew, because I always wondered why you never had girl friends." My mom looks at me. "I suppose I knew all along, but I didn't want to admit it."
"I was so confused when I was in high school. I knew I liked boys a lot more than girls, but I was scared. When I got to school and Geof walked in our room, I fell in love with him, and ..." I tell them everything about Geof.
Dad nods when I finish. "I'm proud of how you tried to help that poor boy, Cam. Now I understand why his father thinks so much of you. But what about Roberto?"
I tell them how he got Geof's leg and as much of his life as I know. Dad shakes his head slowly when I finish. "Don't you know this is a foolish dream, Cam? Roberto is a fine young man who wants to make a good life for himself and help his parents, but Ecuador is a long way and he'll be returning home when he finishes school if he's allowed to come here. You won't be able to go with him. What then?"
This is the first time I've thought of that. "I don't know. I just know I love him and he loves me."
"We don't want to see you hurt, son, but I can't see how this is going to work out. Do his parents know?"
"He's never said, but I doubt it."
"I do too. I expect he's Catholic, so being gay would be a terrible thing in South America, especially after what you told us about how they treat cripples."
"If he does come, can I still bring him home on weekends?"
"Of course. He'll be a long way from home in a strange country where he knows no one except for you and Mr. Carruthers; your mother and I would never turn him away."
"Thanks. I really love you."
"We love you, son. I wish we knew more about gays so we could help you."
"There's a group called Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. I'll ask them to mail you some information, if you want."
"Please do, Cam. I promise your dad and I will read everything," my mom says.
Dad stands up and gives me a tiny smile. "We're very late for work, Cam. Get it in gear."
I do my work in a daze, not believing how cool my parents have been with my sudden coming out. I'm only sorry I couldn't have done it in a better way. Two worries remain: Roberto's acceptance at school and, now that dad has planted seeds of doubt in my mind about the future, what will happen in three years when Roberto and I finish school. With difficulty I push this last worry to the back of my mind.
Thursday night the phone rings. I listen, then yell, "Yes!" and punch the air with my fist when I hang up.
"What was that all about?" Dad asks.
"Mr. C says Roberto's coming to school. He's supposed to receive his student's visa tomorrow and be on the plane next Thursday. Mr. C wants me to meet them at his house Friday so we can get our room assignment all set."
"It's good to see you so happy, son, but please don't let this affect your studies. Your father and I are so happy you're doing so well."
I hug her. "I won't, mom. I'll have to help Roberto, too."
For once, packing all my stuff is a pleasure. I leave home Friday morning after the usual round of hugs and kisses. In my anticipation the miles fly under my wheels, then I'm pulling up in front of Mr. C's home.
Roberto comes down the steps and grabs me in a crushing hug the moment I'm out of the car. "Cam! I not believe I go to school with you. So good to see you."
"I'm so happy, Roberto. Where's Mr. C?"
"He go to work for a time. Come."
It doesn't take long before I'm happily making love to him.
"Oh, Cam, I forget how good you make me feel. I love you."
"I love you too. Guess we better get dressed; Mr. C should be here soon."
"Si."
Mr. C comes in not long after Roberto and I are in the sunroom. "Cam, good to see you, son. All ready for school?"
"Yes, sir, especially now." I glance at my watch. "Guess I better call housing before they close and see if I can get my roommate changed to Roberto."
"I'm afraid that's not possible, Cam. I've already checked."
"Cam and I not live together?" Roberto asks. I'm too stunned to speak.
Mr. C smiles. "I didn't say that."
"But how? I mean …" I stammer out.
"I called about housing the moment I knew Roberto was accepted. As usual, the university has a room shortage so a change wasn't possible." He smiles at us. "How would you like to share a small apartment?"
"That's wonderful, sir, but I can't afford it."
"The rent is already paid. The owner is an acquaintance of mine and the building is only a few blocks from campus. He doesn't rent to students but he knew Geof and would have rented to him so I was planing on you and Geof moving there if his illness hadn't progressed so swiftly. I've asked him to let you and Roberto have the apartment, and he's agreed provided you don't throw any noisy parties."
I hug him. "No parties, just me and Roberto."
"I wonder why I suspected that." He winks at me. "I know Roberto will want to ride with you, so I'll drive Roberto's things down Sunday and see you settled in. Now, let's have a drink."
The moment I see the apartment house I recognize it and shudder at how much the rent must be, but Mr. C laughs. "My sons are worth it. Come along; Bill is waiting."
The owner looks Roberto and me over carefully and not very happily. "If it wasn't for you, Halston, I'd never do this. Bad precedent you know."
"I know, Bill, but you'll not find quieter young men anywhere. You won't regret this."
"I hope not." He hands me a packet of information and keys. "Your apartment is on the second floor. Use the freight elevator to take your things up, it's at the end of the hall. The key that fits the front entrance works on the rear door. Your apartment number is painted on your parking place on the lot, so don't use anyone else's."
"Yes, sir. And thank you."
"Let's get you settled. Meet you out back, " Mr. C says.
I'm knocked over when I see a large computer workstation that looks like the one from Geof's room with Goef's big computer on it, and some of the other furniture looks familiar. "Where'd this come from?" I ask.
"Home. These are unfurnished apartments," Mr. C says, then smiles. "Take a look in the bedroom."
"I look at Roberto and grin when I see the huge king-size bed."
"If you guys don't want to sleep together, I can get twin beds," Mr. C says with a smile.
"No, gracias, Señor. All is so beautiful," Roberto murmurs overwhelmed.
"Have you money for groceries, Cam?"
"Yes, sir. I was expecting to eat in the cafeteria."
"Unless school food has changed that will grow old fast, so lay in a stock of staples." He glances at his watch. "If this is all, I'll be getting home. I'm depending on you to take care of Roberto, Cam. Give me a call if you need anything."
"I will, sir."
He hands me a checkbook. "Show Roberto how to write a check if he doesn't know. I've set up an allowance account for him so make him use it. There's also another checkbook on your desk for all household expenses."
"Thank you, sir."
Roberto grabs his hand and kisses it again. "Oh, Señor, my heart so full."
Mr. C hugs him. "I'm glad you're here, son. You and Cam study hard, Cam will help you. Your schedule is light, so if you have trouble understanding your professors, enroll in the special English class for foreign students."
"I will do so, Señor."
I show Roberto over the campus and the buildings we have classes in and the one in which I don't have a class with him, then we settle into a routine. It takes him a few days to acclimate then he's comfortable. Though he asks me many times about words he doesn't understand, I'm surprised at how fast he catches one.
One afternoon the second week of school I take him to the hospital and ask for Doctor Hawke.
"Roberto!" Hawke yells in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"I am student, Señor Doctor. I have honor to live with Cam."
"I'm so happy for you, Roberto. Cam is a fine young man."
"Si, Señor Doctor. Señor Carruthers most kind man also. He bring me here to study."
"That's wonderful. How's the leg?"
"Perfecto. I use all time."
"I wish I had more time to chat, but I have an operation scheduled. I'll make a late appointment for Roberto so I can examine his stump." He stands and holds out his hand. "Thank for bringing him by, Cam. I want to see a lot of you guys."
"Thank you, sir."
"Why Señor Doctor say I come back, Cam?" Roberto asks as we're walking back to the apartment.
"He wants to make sure the leg still fits properly. Besides, I have talked to him a few times socially. He's a nice man."
"Si, but much important. Not have time to talk to poor man like me."
I stop long enough to hug Roberto. "He likes you a lot, Roberto. He told me so."
Roberto shakes his head. "America so different. In my country important man like Doctor not wish talk to me."
"Doesn't happen much here either, but Hawke is a good guy."
I get a call from Hawke's office and a month later I walk over with Roberto for his examination. I stay with them while Hawke gives Roberto a thorough physical then examines his stump carefully.
"It looks worse than I remembered it," Hawke says after we're back in his office. "I'm not exactly happy with the socket we made either."
"What do you suggest, sir?" I ask.
"Revisionary surgery the first time you have a few days off from school."
"No!" Roberto cries. "Not to cut leg more. Is much pain."
Hawke gets up and puts his arm around Roberto. "I will see you have no pain, Roberto. There will be a little discomfort for a few days until your stump heals and you will have to be on crutches, but that is all. With a new socket, you will walk more smoothly and have no trouble with the leg." Hawke turns to me. "It's little more than plastic surgery normally, but I suspect the muscles were not tensioned properly if at all. I will do that so he will have the most comfort possible."
"The leg doesn't seem to bother him. He wears it all the time."
"Roberto is a proud young man, but I can tell he's having some discomfort. Help me talk him into this, Cam."
"He can't afford it, Doctor."
Hawke smiles. "Mr. Carruthers has asked me to do whatever I can for you, Roberto. I only need your permission to set a date."
"I have fear."
"I know. No one likes facing surgery, but after it is over you won't believe the difference. You're in excellent health so your stay in the hospital will be minimal. Talk it over with Cam and Mr. Carruthers and let me know."
That evening we go to bed early, Roberto wanting me to hold him. "I must do, Cam?"
"It's your decision, love, but you will have a beautiful stump and the leg will feel good. Why didn't you tell me it hurt you?"
"I am so happy I have two leg, I not know it should not."
"It won't take long, then you'll be walking again." I kiss him. "I'll like the time you use crutches; you are so beautiful with one leg."
"I not get treated different?"
"No body will care but me and I already love you." I smile at him. "Your new stump will be as beautiful as Geof's was."
"I must talk to Señor Carruthers also."
"I'll call him and we'll go to see him on the weekend if he's home."
As I suspected, Mr. C is fully informed. After trying to calm Roberto's fears he says to me, "I expect Thanksgiving will be when Hawke wants to do the surgery to avoid Roberto missing classes. Are you willing to stay with him? Hawke says he will fit Roberto with a temporary leg immediately, but it will be a few days before he can use it without crutches."
"You know I will, sir. My parents will understand."
"I must meet them in person, Cam. Perhaps they can come here for Thanksgiving if Roberto is doing well. We can have our Thanksgiving dinner together on Sunday."
"I'm sure they'll like that, sir." I wish they would come, but I don't expect it to happen. Dad's not much around people he doesn't know.
"How is Roberto getting along otherwise?"
"A lot better than I would with changing schools and a strange language. He's smart."
"I'm glad he's doing so well. As soon as Roberto comes down we'll have dinner."
Tuesday afternoon as soon as Roberto comes in from classes, I walk with him to the hospital to enter him. Hawke has scheduled the surgery for Wednesday morning.
Roberto's back in his room by the time I finish up my last class on Wednesday. "How you feel, love?"
He smiles. "Doctor do not put me to sleep for operation, but I feel nothing. A nice nurse talk to me the whole time so I have no fear. Now I have not much pain and new leg. Doctor say I do well."
I kiss him. "I'm so happy for you, love. But with the leg, I won't see your new stump when you're on crutches."
"You see soon. Doctor come later, tell when I go home."
"I hope it's by Saturday, because Mr. C wants us there for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, but we'll have it on Sunday."
"What is Thanksgiving?"
By the time I've finished explaining, Hawke has come in. "How's my patient?"
"I feel only small pain," Roberto says.
"Excellent. He was a superb patient, Cam. All went well, so if you are staying with him over the holiday, I can release him Friday. He can use crutches over the weekend because he already knows how. I'll check him Monday afternoon. If all goes well, he can start walking some."
"That's a lot faster than I thought," I say.
Hawke smiles. "I had one student return to class in two days. I expect Roberto to do as well."
Thanksgiving morning I go back to see Roberto. To my surprise Hawke is with him, holding his arm as he takes a few steps.
"He's doing better than I expected," Hawke tells me. "He can go home tomorrow morning."
Roberto hugs me. "Is no pain and I walk, Cam. New leg is good."
"Looks like your old one to me."
Hawke grins. "It is. It's in excellent condition and needs only a new socket. This socket is a temporary to shape his stump, but he'll have a permanent one before long."
I spend all of Thanksgiving Day with Roberto. We watch the Macy Thanksgiving Day parade and, thanks to Hawke, eat dinner together. For hospital food it's pretty good.
I'm lying on the bed with my arm around Roberto when the phone rings and Roberto tells me to answer. It's Mr. C asking how Roberto is doing, so I pass the phone to him. After a few minutes he passes the phone back.
"When is Roberto being released?" Mr. C asks me.
"Tomorrow."
"Good. I'll expect to see you as soon as you can get here. And, Cam?"
"Sir?"
"I have a surprise for you, so don't dally around."
"We'll leave as soon as Hawke lets Roberto go. I'll pack for us tonight."
"Excellent."
Roberto protests being pushed to the entrance in a wheelchair, but Hawke is firm. "You'll have plenty of time to walk, Roberto, don't push it." He walks the few steps from the door to my car and gets in. "Make him use his crutches if you can, Cam. He's stubborn as a mule and he's going to have some pain if he tries to walk too far. You did get the prescription filled, didn't you?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. See you next week."
Mr. C opens the door the moment I pull up in his drive. He's smiling broadly when Roberto gets out and walks toward him holding his crutches rather than using them.
"You're doing surprisingly well, Roberto. I'm glad to see you."
"Si, Señor. Gracias. Doctor say I walk now with no pain."
"The way it should be. Come in."
I grab our bags and take them to our room. Mr. C is waiting at the bottom of the steps when I come down. "We're in the sunroom, Cam."
I stop at the door not believing whom I see. "Mom! Dad! I can't believe you're here." I rush over to hug them.
"We came yesterday," Mom explains. "Mr. Carruthers kindly asked us so we could have our Thanksgiving together."
"Your mother and I had a long talk with Hall last evening so we understand things a lot better now. I'm glad Roberto is doing so well, too, he's a fine young man," dad adds.
The time flies by and it's with genuine regret we leave. I asked the folks to stop by and see our apartment, but dad says they need to get home and traffic will be heavy.
Roberto had one last check-up with Hawke the day before semester and Christmas break begins. I finally get to see Roberto's stump and I can hardly believe what a wonderful job Hawke did. It's tapered and rounded with only a small scar remaining. Even Roberto smiles when he sees the transformation.
"As soon as you're back from the holiday we'll fit you with a new socket, Roberto, then you'll be all set. Have a Merry Christmas."
"Gracias, Señor Doctor. I feel much happy with my leg now. Not so ugly. Felices Navidades."
That night Roberto smiles and looks at his stump when I caress and kiss it. "Not so ugly, mi Cam."
"As beautiful as it should have been, Roberto. I hope you will let me see it more often now."
He grins. "I think about it. I will miss you, Cam."
"I'll miss you, too. I wish we could have Christmas together, but I know your parents want to see you."
"Si. Is only three weeks, but it seem much long time."
Mr. C arrives before I leave for home so he can wish me a Merry Christmas and to take Roberto to the airport. After a kiss for Roberto and a hug for him, I leave.
Winter is a slow time for my dad's business, so we have a lot of time together. He's read the information I got for them and seems more accepting of my being gay. My real surprise comes the day before Christmas Eve when Mr. C arrives to spend Christmas with us. I couldn't imagine it, but he fits in like one of the family and he and dad talk business a lot. Mom, of course, has to show him my semester grades which are all A's. He pats me on the back and tells me he's proud of me and Roberto who made A's except for one B. Very good for his first semester and the language barrier.
Two days before the break is over I go to Mr. C's so I can pick up Roberto at the airport. He breaks into an awkward run toward me when he sees me waiting then he's hugging me to the amusement of some of the other passengers.
I stop at a quick photography place in Eden to leave the two disposable cameras Mr. C gave him to take home. That evening we sit together as Roberto tells us about each picture. He shows us the picture of a colorful shop with two people standing in front in very stiff poses. "Mi father and mi mother at cantina," he says proudly. I'm a little amused at the ubiquitous Coke sign prominent on the front. His father is not much taller than I, wearing a suit and white shirt. He would look something like Roberto if he were smiling. His mother is short and round. She has on a dress I recognize as being made from one of the pieces of fabric Mr. C gave him.
"A very handsome couple, Roberto. I know you are proud of them, " Mr. C says.
"Si. Father work hard so we have good home." He pulls out a picture of a small house. It's made of unpainted wood with an open door and windows, but there flowers and ferns everywhere. "Mi mother spend much time in garden."
Mr. C gasps and points to some flowers. "My god, look at those orchids. They're gorgeous."
Roberto shrugs. "So many grow wild. Nothing special."
Mr. C just shakes his head.
Because of his long flight, Roberto and I go to bed early, but he's asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He's still sleeping when I get up and join Mr. C for breakfast.
"It's kind of you not to disturb Roberto, Cam. He looked very tired."
"He was asleep before I could get to bed. He had some nice pictures, but his parents looked so stiff."
Mr. C smiles. "I'm told people in Ecuador don't smile a lot unless they're with family members. It's quite different there. I asked Roberto if his parents would like to visit him here and he quickly said they would never travel. I think they have a mistrust of flying and being in a strange place."
"Shame. I'd like to meet them."
"Almost impossible, Cam. You could go as a tourist, but that is the way you would be treated, with respect, but not the friendliness you would find here." He shakes his head. "I sometimes I wish I had studied modern cultures, there's so much difference. The more wealthy are as cosmopolitan as any other people, but they are far from being the average person."
"I guess I never thought about it. How will Roberto fit in when he goes home? I mean he's going to be among the cosmopolitan group with his degree and all."
"With his personality and education, he will be. I'm certain that's what his parents were hoping for and why they agreed for him to study here. You remember he said they wanted a better life for him."
"Poor guy. He loves them so much and now he's going to be way above their social class."
Mr. C smiles. "I've done some reading on South America and it seems that when the son of a family rises, it reflects positively on the entire family. Far more than it would in this country. I expect it will make his father very proud."
"Just like Geof's leg gave Roberto a boost."
"Exactly." He puts his arm around me. "You and Roberto are exceptional young men, Cam. You make me proud and give me a reason to live. I thought I had lost that with Geof."
I hug him. "We love you, too, sir. Thank you for all you do for us."
"You and Roberto are more than welcome to what little I can offer you. I thank you especially, Cam, for spending so much time with me when you have family of your own and for always being honest with me. It's because of that and your good sense that I found a fine young man who I could help."
I smile. "And me someone special to love."
I go with Roberto to have the cast of his stump made for the new socket. Roberto and I watch fascinated as the young prosthetist puts his calculations into a computer and the program draws a socket in three-dimensions.
Three days later I take a cut I can well afford in lab and go back with Roberto for his fitting. Roberto gets upset when Bob, the young prosthetist, refuses to let him walk out immediately. I calm Roberto while Bob attaches all sorts of electrodes to the leg and Roberto's stump then has him walk between parallel bars. He makes adjustments to the leg and the process starts over again.
I can tell Roberto is about to lose his temper when Bob tells him to walk around the room. Roberto's face breaks into a huge smile and he comes over and hugs me. "Is like not before, Cam. Is feel perfecto. I like walk on soft wool." He grabs a surprised Bob in a hug. "Is so wonderful I not believe. Gracias, Señor."
"That's the way it should feel, Roberto. I'm sorry it took me so long to adjust, but it was necessary. Doctor Hawke wants to see you before you leave."
Hawke seems delighted when Roberto's enthusiasm causes him to break into Spanish. He answers in the same language to Roberto's delight.
"I'm glad to know Bob is so good," he says to me. "He's new, but he knows his business. I hope he'll go with us on our next trip down there."
"But I thought you made Roberto's first socket."
"I'm a surgeon. One of the apprentice techs who went with us made it. We don't have the equipment or time to do the kind of work Bob did on this one. We are training some people in Ecaudor in the latest techniques though unfortunately only the very rich get the best prosthetics, usually of German make."
"I'm glad Mr. C brought Roberto here."
"I'm sure you are. You make a handsome couple." Hawke surprises me with a wink.
Roberto and I settle in for the long haul of spring semester. We split the break between my house and Mr. C's, then back to school, a pattern we repeat over the next two years. Roberto always goes home for Christmas and summer. It's when he comes back from the Christmas break of our senior year that he gives me completely unexpected news, a crushing blow!
We're hardly back in the apartment when he pulls a picture from his billfold and hands it to me. The young lady is very beautiful in the dark way that Roberto is. He smiles at me proudly when he says, "This is Maria my novia, my fiancée. We will marry when I return home after graduation."
"Marry!" I scream. "How? You're gay, Roberto."
"No, my love. I wish I could have told you I was bisexual when we met, but the word wasn't in my vocabulary until recently. I like men, but also I like women. I want children, specifically a son I will name Cameron for you. You will be godfather to him I hope. I want him to visit you often when he's old enough so he will be bilingual."
I stagger back and fall into a chair staring at him. I can't believe I'm in love with a bi.
He comes over and kneels down by me, taking my hand and pressing it against his cheek. "I will always love you, Cam. I'm sorry if I have hurt you, but this is what I must do. It will also make it easy for me to get a good job. Maria's father is a very important man in Quito, so he will make sure I get the best work possible now that I know computer science and English."
I can't help the tears that flow down my cheeks. Roberto pulls me up and hugs me. "Please don't cry, Cam. We both knew we would be parted when we graduated. I promise to stay in touch with you by e-mail and perhaps visit you and Mr. C on occasion. Be happy my love. I will never forget how much you gave a poor boy so he could become a man with a future to look forward to. We will make the best of our love for one another in these five months."
I can only nod and return his kiss.
May and graduation arrive with bewildering speed. My folks come to stay with Mr. C and us the two days we have before graduation. Later that same day, Mr. C's car brings three new people from the airport. With Roberto are his parents, and Maria. How Mr. C convinced them to come I'll never know, but Roberto is overjoyed.
His parents are awed and say little, but I can see how proud they are when they look at Roberto. He stays busy translating, especially when my dad and mom start asking his parents about Ecuador. Roberto looks embarrassed when mom says how much she and dad love him and what a fine man he is, but he translates and his mother hugs mine.
In the meantime I find Maria speaks some English. She's more beautiful than her picture and seems proud to talk to me about my kindness to Roberto. Obviously he hasn't told her we've been lovers for over three years. It doesn't take long for her to captivate me or for me to agree that I'll be godfather to little Cam when he comes along. The kid's going to have three sets of grandparents; there's no way my parents will be left out when little Cam will likely be the closest they'll get to a grandchild.
Graduation is almost anticlimactic when it arrives. On the way back to Mr. C's Mom tells me that Roberto's mother cried through the whole ceremony. That night Roberto and I make love for the last time – the most gentle prolonged loving we've ever shared.
After breakfast, Roberto and I have one lingering kiss before there are hugs all around and Roberto, his parents, and Maria leave in the Bentley for the airport.
"I'll love you forever, Cam," Roberto says softly as the car begins to pull away.
To be continued...
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Posted: 10/12/07