SS Outpost
By:
Jeff B
(© 2012-2013 by the author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's
consent. Comments are appreciated at...
KAPITEL ELF
CHAPTER 11
Jan and Alex spent the rest of the afternoon getting the house ready for the party later that evening, and by the time Wolfy and I got home at 1845, the house was ready to go. The Champagne was chilling, the dishes were out and ready, the table had our best cloth on it and was ready for dinner. I hugged and kissed both of them, thanking them for giving Wolfy and me time to get a quick shower and get ready. Our first guests arrived a little after 1900. Jan answered the door to Peter and family.
“Peter! Beautiful Greta; come in! Get that young man in out of the cold night; what kind of parents are you?”
They laughed and Greta swatted Jan on the back of the head. “I’ll remember that when you’re coming to us for help after you and Amelie have your first child.”
“Eh, I have it all figured out already; it hasn’t been that long since I was one.” He grinned at them.
“Yes; yesterday.”
“Ooooo. Be nice, or I’ll tell my beautiful nephew to puke all over you the next time you burp him.”
“Go ahead and tell him, he does it anyway. Where are the masters of the house?”
“You’re looking at him.”
“Funny man. I said the masTERS, not the house boy.”
He laughed. “They are upstairs getting cleaned up from a hard day’s labor in that kitchen; they should be down very soon. Let me take your coats before you start looking after my nephew.”
They handed Jan their coats and while he was putting them away, they said their hellos to Alex. Greta pulled back from her hug and looks at him.
“Where’s that cute young sailor of yours?”
Alex blushed. “He hasn’t arrived yet; he’s probably home getting cleaned up.”
“You’re not there helping?”
He giggled. “No, I was sent early to help prepare for tonight. He has to wash and dress himself this evening.”
“Poor boy; he may show up with wet hair and two different shoes.”
Alex chuckled and then turned to Peter. “Hey, old man; did you remember to bring some wine?”
“Do I ever forget? And who’re you calling old man? Come here.” He pulled Alex into a warm hug, holding it for about 10 seconds. “And for your information, the only old man in the group is walking down the hall behind you, heading this way.”
Alex turned around and saw Wolfy and me coming into the front room. I hugged Peter and Greta hello while Wolfy headed straight for Manfred. They’d bonded the first time Wolfy held him, and Manfred burped and spit up on him; Wolfy recognizing a kindred spirit when he held one. After cooing and making faces at the baby for about a minute, he finally looked up, grinning.
“Oh hey, hello to you two, too.”
Greta laughed. “Would you even talk to us if we didn’t have Manfred?”
“I’ll have to get back to you on that; he needs me.” Wolfy smirked and leaned back down to talk to the baby some more.
Greta turned to me, grinning. “Now I know what you see in him.”
“Only just now?”
She laughed. “Well, other than his physical attributes. He’s adorable when he’s being all ‘kinder protektor’ with the little ones.”
We all lauged. “He’s adorable all of the time; you just don’t get to see that side of him very often. Manfred just brings out the best in him.”
“He has a way of doing that with everyone. If you were all up with him at two in the morning with him sucking on your tit, you wouldn’t be so awe struck.” She grinned.
We all laughed. Wolfy looked up at her, grinning. “I don’t think he’d be happy with one of mine, but he’s welcome to it. I’d love to get up with him and take care of him; I don’t care what time it is.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, new babysitter.”
Wolfy smiled. “When do you want him back?”
“Down boy; he’s not ready to be handed off to his uncles yet.”
“Why not?”
She laughed. “You just said; he wouldn’t like your tits.”
Wolfy blushed and grinned. “Oh. I forgot about that part. Can’t you just squeeze some out of there for us to use?”
The whole room just fell out. laughing our asses off.
Greta finally recovered. “You just try squeezing some milk out of him (pointing at me) and let me know how it goes. I’m not a Holstein; you can’t just milk me to use for later.”
Wolfy grinned and turned to Peter. “Come on, you can tell us; you’ve tried the milk, haven’t you?”
Greta spun on Peter. “If you utter one word I will cut you off at the knees.”
Wofly starts laughing again. “Udder…..”
While we were all laughing, someone was knocking on the door. Jan went and answersed it; still trying to recover. He opened it to Kaleb. Kaleb just smiled at us; trying to figure out what he was walking into, and Jan was no help.
“Kaleb!! Get your ass in here; we’re about to milk Wolfy!”
Kaleb laughed. “Isn’t that usually a one-man job?”
Jan laughed with the rest of us. “Eh, his man is worn out; we said we’d help him out. Get in here!”
Kaleb laughed and walked in, heading over to Alex. Greta intercepted him and pulled him into a hug, and then held him at arm’s length for a moment; looking him up and down. “OK, Alex, he got himself dressed, with matching shoes and everything; you’ve trained him well.” Kaleb and Alex both blushed.
“He didn’t need training; I just told him to go backwards from what he usually does to me.”
“Smart man! Keep it simple.”
We all laughed again, and I walked up to Kaleb and gave him a hug. “Don’t let them scare you off; we all love you as far as you know.”
“Thanks, I think. How’s the restaurant business?”
“Busy as hell today; I think most of the village came in for lunch. And those who missed lunch came for dinner. Didn’t they teach you men how to cook on that damn ship?”
He laughed. “No! They told us when we got to Argentina there would be a big man with a beard to cook for us.”
“Well the big man with the beard cooked himself silly for your shipmates today; we may have to let him rest for awhile.”
“OK, he can have tonight off.”
“You have a deal. Go see your other half; he looks like he wants to hold you right now.”
He grinned. “Thanks; I want to hold him, too.”
Kaleb walked over and pulled Alex into a warm hug, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. We all yelled out, ‘boo; try again!’ and he gave him a serious kiss on the mouth. They both blushed after the kiss and we applauded; making them blush more.
I walked over to Jan, gave him quick hug, and then asked him if Amelie was going to be arriving soon.
“I don’t think she’s going to make it. I walked over to the pub earlier and the place was wall to wall; I don’t think she’ll give up that kind of tip potential.”
I lauged. “I can’t say that I blame her; she will probably make a small fortune tonight. You will go pick her from work and walk her home, won’t you?” I smiled at him.
“Yes, Papa Bear; I wouldn’t let her walk home alone so late at night; especially with a bunch of drunken sailors all over the place.”
I smiled. “Just making sure; I didn’t want to have to send Manfred for her after his 2 A.M. feeding.”
Jan laughed and then looked over at Kaleb. “Eh, I’ve seen the sailors, Manfred could take them.”
“Probably; but let’s not get him started so soon. There’s another bottle of wine for Peter hidden in the wardrobe of our bedroom, at the bottom; would you please get it for me?”
“Sure.”
He left and I went into the kitchen to get some glasses and the Champagne. Jan walked in while I was getting everything ready and handed me the bottle and then went back to the front room to play with Manfred. Once I had everything ready and on a tray, I took it out to the dining room and set it on the table.
“If you would all join me over here, we’ll get this Champagne opened and drink a toast before we start dinner.”
Once everyone was gathered around the table, I uncorked the bottle, making sure to make it as quiet as possible so I didn’t scare the baby with the sudden noise. I filled everyone’s glass and handed them out.
“To the end of the war. To family and friends. To our fallen comrades. Prost!!”
“Prost!!”
Alex looked at me. “Have they said anything more about what’s happening in Germany; do they have any estimates on the causalities?”
“Not that I’ve heard. The only thing they’ve really said about Germany is that Berlin was decimated during the last days of the fighting. It seems one of the few things still standing is Brandenburg Gate. They haven’t given any estimates of the dead or wounded.”
Peter looked over. “We can assume it is very high; Hitler was sending boys and old men out to fight during the final days. It will take months, even years, before we know how many we lost.” He raised his glass again. “To Germany and her people!”
“To Germany!”
I refilled everyone’s glass and looked around the room after I set the bottle down. I was surrounded by my brothers, and we were all still alive and healthy. I raised my glass.
“To my brothers; their health and happiness!”
“To my brothers!”
Kaleb looked at me. “Are any of you planning on returning to Germany?”
“No; we talked about it this morning. We decided that this is our home now; we’re not going anywhere. How about you, or any of your comrades; have you heard what they’re planning?”
“I’m staying here with Alex. I’ve heard a few of them talk about returning; to see their families. They want to know how many of them survived.”
“I can understand that; but I think I’d still wait a month or so for things to settle down. Granted, they could leave tomorrow and still not arrive in Germany for a couple of weeks.”
He grinned. “I get the impression you don’t like sea travel.”
I laughed. “No; it’s too damn slow. I never thought I’d like flying; but I’ll take it over an ocean voyage any day.”
He smiled at me. “Well, I can’t argue with you on that; but I still enjoy being out on the open sea. It is such a feeling of freedom; going wherever you feel like by just pointing the ship in the direction you want to go.”
“Airplanes can do that too; I’ll stick with them. Are you and Alex ever going to take an ocean journey?”
“He says he won’t; but I’m still trying to talk him into it. I want to see America, and I want him to be with me when I see it the first time.”
“Well, keep trying. We all talked about going to America some day; but none of us seemed to want to go; except Wolfy, to meet Greta Garbo.”
Greta turned to Wolfy, smiling. “I knew you liked girls named Greta.”
He smiled. “I do; especially the pretty blond ones like you.”
“Smooth talker. You’re just trying to get my son for the weekend.”
“Not at all; I’ll take him for a month.”
Greta laughed. “You’d bring him home after a day of crying and no sleep.”
“Never. I try not to cry so much anymore; and I sleep great.”
Greta rolls her eyes and laughed. Jan turned to Peter.
“What do you think they’ll do with Hitler’s body; do you think they’ll put him on display like they did Mussolini?”
“I don’t know. The last I heard, the Russians had him; and I can’t see Stalin giving him up to put on display. I assume they will take his body back to Russia; the victors over the man who thought he could defeat Russia.”
“Yeah, he definitely fucked up when he went to Russia.”
“Language boy; there’s a lady in the room.” Greta smiled at Jan.
“Nice try; I’ve heard you say that word.”
“Yeah, well; I’m a mother now and I can’t say those things anymore.”
“I don’t think Manfred’s ready to talk yet; you still have a year or so to say what you want.”
“I’m breaking myself of bad habits; like having a husband who smokes.”
“How’s that working for you, Peter?”
Peter laughed. “Just fine. I haven’t had a cigarette since the day he was born.”
“Do you ever miss them?”
“Every once in a while; like after I eat. I have to consciously remind myself that I can’t go out and have one just because I’ve finished a meal.”
“Well I’m not ready to give it up. Amelie gets on me about it from time to time, but I’m not ready to stop yet. Besides, I’m surrounded by men smoking all day; it would be a losing battle.”
“We German’s seem to be losing a lot of battles lately.”
“Only when we’re being led by a psychopathic moron and his henchmen.”
Peter smiled. “Be careful who you say that around; there are plenty of people here that still believe he was their savior.”
“They’re just as stupid as he was, then. But no, I never say anything like that except around my family.”
“Good man.” Peter looked over at Wolfy. “Where’s this dinner you promised me; I’m getting hungry?”
“Keep your pants on; it’s in the oven keeping warm. Is everyone ready to eat, now?”
A round of ‘yes’ followed his question so we cleared the table of glasses, and Wolfy, Jan, and I went to the kitchen to bring the food in.
We spent about an hour at the table, eating and talking. Once we were finished, the remaining smokers in the family went out back to take care of their need, while Greta, Peter, and I cleaned up. Once everyone was back inside, Greta picked up Manfred to take him in and change his diaper. Wolfy jumped up.
“Let me do that.”
Greta smiled. “Help yourself. Wash your hands first, though.”
“I was thinking I should wash them after.”
“You have cigarette on them; go wash.”
“Ya, Fraü.”
Wolfy bows to her and then ran to the kitchen to wash up. He came back in and took Manfred from Greta, kissing him and blowing bubbles on his cheeks, and walked back to the bedroom with him. Greta looked at me grinning.
“You may have to get him one of those.”
I laugh. “You may need to take a biology course.”
Everyone laughed. “Smart-ass. I didn’t mean have one of your own; I do know how these things work. I’m sure there are plenty of homeless, orphaned children now, all over the world; you could adopt one.”
“I don’t know that he’s ready to be a full-time father; he just likes to spend time with Manfred. And I’m pretty sure I’m not ready to be one. I already have him; what would I do with more kids?”
“Let him take care of them, while you take care of him.”
“I’ll stick to taking care of him, thank you. We get to play with Manfred anytime we want; we don’t need a full-time one.”
“Oh sure; play with him and then bring him back to be changed, fed and burped.”
I smiled. “Sounds like the best way to do it.”
She rolls her eyes and Peter grinned at me. I got up and went to the kitchen to grab the bottle of wine Jan brought me, and then went around filling everyone’s glass. Wolfy didn’t return for about thirty minutes; and when he did, he was alone.
“Where’s my son?”
Wolfy smiles at Peter. “He’s sleeping on our bed; I put him down after we finished cleaning up his mess.”
“We?”
“Well, OK; he watched me while I worked. But he looked sleepy so I took him in and we lay on the bed for a while and he went to sleep. He looks so adorable when he’s sleeping; I just lay there looking at him.”
“Did you put pillows around him so he doesn’t fall out of bed?”
“Yes, father; I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.”
“I know, Wolfy; I’m just trying to be a good father.”
Wolfy smiles at him. “How is it? Do you like being a father?”
Peter grinned. “It’s wonderful; it’s the best thing in the world!”
“I bet!”
We spent the rest of the evening just talking quietly; trying not to wake Manfred. By 2300 everyone who didn’t live here was ready to go home. Greta fed the baby before they left, but by 2310 they were all out the door and heading home. Wolfy and I bid Jan a good night and went to our room; we were both wiped out. Jan pulled the newspaper out of the bin and looked at the front page; the one declaring the end of the war. After looking at it for a few minutes, smiling to himself, he went to his room and put the paper away in a safe place; keeping that front page for the rest of his life. While Wolfy and I were sleeping, and Jan was putting his paper away, Alex and Kaleb were just getting home and about to have a discussion that neither of them ever wanted.
After getting their coats hung up, Kaleb turned to Alex.
“What’s going on?”
Alex turned to look at him. “Nothing; I’m getting ready to go to bed. Are you going to be in soon?”
“That’s not what I meant. What’s going on with you and Jan?”
Alex felt the knot forming in his stomach. “Nothing; what are you talking about?”
“The little looks you gave each other all night; what do they mean?”
“We always give each other little looks; it doesn’t mean anything. We’ve been through a lot together; we just look at each other to make sure the other is still there.”
“No, I’ve seen those looks; this was different. It was the same look you give me; the look of a lover.”
“You’re seeing things that aren’t there; you’re my lover.”
“No, I know what I saw; don’t try to bullshit your way out of this. Did something happen with you and Jan this afternoon?” Alex flushed red; never being able to hide what he’s feeling. “Something did happen! You fucked around with him; didn’t you?”
“I’m sorry….”
“What the fuck were you thinking!? Did you just get horny and decide to fuck around with your brother because I was working; or what? What the hell is going on, Alex?”
“I’m sorry, baby; I… I have no excuse; I’m sorry.”
“Don’t tell me you’re fucking sorry; tell me what the fuck is going on!”
“What do you want to know?”
“I want to know if this has been going on all along; I want to know if you’ve been cheating on me the entire time we’ve been together!”
“No! I swear; I haven’t been cheating on you. Today was the first time we’ve done anything since you and I have been together.”
“So, you’ve fucked around him with him before!? What the fuck, Alex!? I thought he wasn’t fucking queer, anyway; what the hell are you doing with him?”
“We used to do it when we shared a room. We’d get horny and take care of each other; it was never more than that. When I met and fell in love with you I stopped doing anything with him; I swear.”
“Until today, anyway; is that it? You decided to fuck each other for old time’s sake?”
Alex turned red again and sighed; the tears started to flow. “I’m sorry, Kaleb; it just happened. He was really horny; he said he wanted to get fucked like a man, and that he wanted me to do it. He said all the right things, I guess; and I did it. I’m truly sorry, baby.”
Kaleb shook his head, glaring at Alex. “I don’t fucking believe this. That still doesn’t explain the looks. I’ve fucked guys before just for fun, and still wasn’t giving them little looks afterwards. Are you in love with Jan?”
“I was… I knew we’d never be together, though; I pulled away from him. Then I met you and I thought I was over him; I had you and I didn’t think about him anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Stop fucking saying that! I don’t want to hear you’re sorry; I want a goddamned explanation why my lover is cheating on me with his friend! I think I deserve a straight answer from you!”
“I told you what happened today; I don’t know what else you want to know.”
“I want to know why you did it. I want to know if you planned on continuing fucking him; if you’re going to make this a regular habit now. I want to know if my lover is turning into a slut!”
“That’s not fair! I’ve never fucked around on you, until today. I’m not a slut! You have no right to call me that!”
“I’m sorry; I’m just really mad. What would you say to me if I was doing the same thing with one of my sailor friends? You’d think I was a slut; you’d tell me I was cheating on you; just like I’m telling you.”
Alex sighed again. “Probably… I’m sorry, Kaleb; I never meant for this to happen; I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me.”
“I don’t know, Alex; this is just too fucked. I never thought in a million years you’d be fucking your brother Jan while I’m at work. You still didn’t answer my question, though; were you two planning on continuing this?”
Alex flushed red again. “We talked about it….”
“Fuck…. You can’t be serious; what the hell are you thinking, Alex? Is this what you really want; you want to have me as your lover, and also have your friend to fuck whenever you two get horny?”
“No! I don’t know… We just talked about it; talked about getting together every once in a while to do things that Amelie can’t do for him. I don’t know what I was thinking….”
“Ain’t that the fucking truth! So, you figured you’d just fuck Jan when he needed some cock in his ass; but come home to me, later; is that it?”
Alex closed his eyes, pushing more tears out of them. He took a shuddering breath and then looked at Kaleb. “I guess so… I’m sorry, Kaleb; I’m really sorry.” Alex looked at him, sighing. “I’ll go pack my clothes and get out of your life; I don’t deserve you. I’m really very sorry I hurt you; I never meant to.” Alex turned to walk to the bedroom.
“Don’t you do that shit to me! You don’t get to decide what happens! You don’t get to take the easy way out!”
Alex turned back around, looking at Kaleb. “This isn’t the easy way out; it’s the only way. I just admitted to you that I’ve cheated on you; what do you want from me? You want to hit me? You want to spend the rest of the night yelling at me? I’m sorry, Kaleb; I’m sorry I hurt you; but I don’t want to fight with you about this. There’s nothing I can do to take your hurt away; so maybe it would be better for me to leave.”
Kaleb turned around and flopped down on the chair, turning back to look at Alex; still scowling at him. “I don’t know what I want from you… I’m not going to hit you; I’d never hit you, Alex. I know I love you; but I don’t know where to go from here. You can’t just tell me you’ve fucked one of your brothers, and then turn around and walk out; what does that tell me?”
“I don’t know what else to do… I don’t know how to make this up to you; and I don’t know if you’ll ever believe that I’m sorry. What else is there?”
“I don’t know, Alex… You have to give me a minute; this is a lot to take in.” He looked down and then back up at Alex. “When you two talked about continuing this; did you agree to do it?”
Alex closed his eyes again. “Yes….”
“Fuck…. What do you expect me to say, Alex? You just admitted to cheating on me; and now you’ve just told me you’d planned on doing it again and again. What the hell am I supposed to do? What the fuck is going on; you just wanted to be on top for awhile, or what?”
“Maybe… I don’t know, Kaleb; it just seemed comfortable to me. We always had a lot of fun together and I thought I could just fuck him when he wanted it; but still have you for my partner.”
Kaleb shook his head. “If you were a woman, I’d call you a greedy bitch. Let me ask you this; do you love him?”
“A part of me always will, I guess. I thought I’d gotten past it; but apparently if I was giving him little looks tonight, I really haven’t. I’m sorry, Kaleb; I don’t know what to tell you. You wanted the truth; there it is.”
Kaleb ran his hands over his face and then looked up at Alex again. “Do you still love me?”
“Yes; very, very much. You’re my life, Kaleb; I love you.”
“More than you love Jan?”
“Yes. Well, maybe in a different way. Jan and I are brothers; we’ll always be brothers, but you’re my lover; and I hope you’ll always be.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I can’t believe you’re telling me you love your best friend and planned to keep fucking him. What do we do, Alex; what do we do now?”
“What do you want to do? Do you still want me?”
“It’s not like I can flip a switch and stop loving you; but I don’t know how to get past this. What about you; what do you want? Do you really want this; do you really want to keep fucking him, and then come home to me?”
“I’ll stop fucking him, Kaleb. I don’t want to keep cheating on you; it will stop, I promise.”
“Answer the damn question; do you want to do it, though?”
“I did this afternoon; but that’s changed.”
“Only because you got caught. You owe me the truth, Alex; I deserve to know where the hell I stand in your life! Who really comes first, Alex; me or your brothers?”
Alex closed his eyes again. “I’m sorry, Kaleb… As a general rule, they come first; but in this instance, you do.”
“Thanks for that. Thanks for telling me where I really stand in your life.”
“You don’t understand! I swore my allegiance to those four men long ago; there is nothing that will ever change that! You’re my lover, but they are my brothers and my comrades. We’ve been through hell together and nothing will ever change that.”
“Oh boo hoo; you took a fucking twelve day cruise across the damn ocean. I spent months at sea; you don’t see me swearing my allegiance to my brother sailors; get over it, already.”
“Fuck you; it’s a lot more than that! You don’t know; you can’t understand.”
“Well then explain it to me! Tell me what makes those four so goddamned special in your life; especially that fucker with the big dick. That’s it; isn’t it!? You just can’t pull yourself off that fucking cock of his.”
“Fuck you. It’s nothing to do with cock; and don’t talk to me like a fucking street whore. Those four men and I swore our lives to each other long before we ever came here; long before I knew you. This isn’t about them; this is about what you want me to do.”
“I want to know what you want to do. I now want to know just what makes five men swear their lives to each other. What the fuck aren’t you telling me, Alex?”
“I want to stay; I want to be with you. Just please find a way to forgive me and let me stay with you.”
“I want to be with you too; and I do love you; but this is fucking crazy, Alex. You can’t just go around fucking whoever sweet-talks you into doing it. Really, Alex; what is it with those four; what makes them so important to you? What aren’t you telling me, Alex?”
“You don’t want to know… You can’t know; we promised each other we’d never say a word. Just tell me if you want me to stay or go.”
“What the hell are you hiding? What, are you all like Hitler’s little henchmen? Did he send you here to take over South America, or something?”
“No!”
“Then what the fuck, Alex; tell me what the hell is with you guys.”
“I can’t.”
“The fucking war is over, Alex; just tell me what the hell is going on.”
Alex shook his head, sighing again. “We’re all SS. We deserted from our post and escaped to here. We wanted to get out of Germany before it fell; before we all got killed.”
Kaleb just looked at Alex, shaking his head. “You’re fucking joking; you’re SS?”
“Yes… I was a Scharführer, or Corporal, in the SS. I was in the Hitler Youth when I was a boy, and joined the SS when I turned twenty. I was promoted and sent to join the other four for duty in a little village, trying to capture an underground network.”
“Fuck me…. So, you all turned tail and ran; just like the goddamned SS. So let me guess; Peter is, or was your commander.”
“Fuck you; you just stayed here after your ship went down; you have no right to accuse us of anything! And no, Willy’s our commander; Peter is his second.”
“Present tense, huh? Good for you.”
“Stop being such a fucking prick! You have no right to pass judgment on any of us! We all fought proudly for Germany, until we figured out that psycho was going to take us all down. What would you have done, if you were wearing the same fucking uniform as the men that killed all those Jews!?”
“You never worked in the camps?”
“No! None of us ever worked in the camps. Peter’s the only one that’s ever even seen one of them; and he told us it was unlike anything he could’ve ever imagined. He wanted to get as far away from all of them as he could.”
Kaleb shook his head again. “That still doesn’t explain how you all became so close. I’ve served with the same men for the last 5 years; and I still wouldn’t give my life for them.”
“Then you don’t have the same kind of brotherhood that we do. We all risked our lives to get the hell out of Germany; and we all swore to protect each other at all costs. We lived together on a farm for six months before we left; we got close. We became a family, and we swore our lives to each other. Some of us just became a little closer than the others. Wolfy and Willy fell in love about two months after they met; Jan and I didn’t do anything until after we got to Cordoba. Peter and I took care of each other a couple of times while we were on the farm. We’re brothers in every sense of the word; short of biological.”
“So, no matter what happens between us; they will always come first? You will choose them over me, any time?”
“I’m sorry, but yes. I really hope that you can accept that; but yes, they come first in my life. I love you and I will do most anything for you; as long as it doesn’t contradict my family. Is that any different than you would do for a biological brother or sister?”
Kaleb sighed and shook his head. “I guess not… I don’t know, Alex; I don’t know what to even think right now. This has been one fucked up night, is all I really do know. I find out my lover’s cheating on me with his friend, then I find out the man I’ve been in love with for the last year is a fucking SS soldier; and that he’s fucked around with another one of his comrades. And to top it all off with a nice, big cherry; he tells me that I come second to his friends. What would you think, Alex; what would you do in my place?”
“I honestly don’t know, Kaleb. I know this is a lot to take in; a lot that I’m asking you to forgive and accept. I guess it comes down to how much you love me, and if you still want me.”
“Do you really want me?”
“Yes. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“But you want the option of fucking Jan when he needs some cock. I don’t know how to deal with that, Alex. I could forgive you for one time; I love you more than enough to do that. But I don’t know how to deal with knowing that my lover is going to sometimes be fucking another man.”
“I told you; I won’t fuck him again. I’ll tell him I can’t do it anymore; that I’m taken and I’m not available to fill his needs.”
“You were taken this afternoon; but you found a way to fill his needs. I don’t understand that part either; how the hell does a heterosexual have needs for getting fucked in the ass?”
Alex shrugged and sighed again. “Wolfy and Willy kind of brought him over to the dark side. And once he and I started fucking around he decided he wanted to try having some cock in his ass. I guess he liked it more than either of us thought he would. Believe it or not, there was a moment when Wolfy was going to kill him, for wanting to tell his SS General Grandfather about him and Willy when he found out they were queer. He was mind-fucked about the whole thing for quite a while.”
“He just needed some dick, huh?” Kaleb smirked. “What a fucked up mess you’ve made.”
“Jan actually told me this afternoon to just ask you; because I was feeling guilty. He said I should just ask you to assuage my guilt.”
Kaleb smirked again. “He would, the arrogant fucker. That’s another thing; how the hell am I supposed to deal with Jan, knowing my man’s fucked him?”
“I don’t know… I guess just don’t spend much time around him. Or, if it helps you; imagine him bent over with a cock shoved in his ass; just not mine.”
Kaleb laughed once. “I’ll admit, there’ve been a couple of times he’s said something stupid and I thought he should have a cock shoved up his ass. I never expected him to enjoy it though.”
Alex smiled. “He loves it. The harder and faster; the more he likes it.”
“The fucking closet faggot.” He grinned. “So you like being on top, huh? How come you’ve never said you wanted to be on top with me?”
“I never thought you’d let me; you told me you liked being on top.”
“Well, the last time I looked we’re a team; you’re supposed to tell me what you want. I just always thought you just wanted to be on the bottom; you seem to enjoy the hell out of it.”
Alex grinned. “I love having you inside me; you’re fucking great at it. But yeah, there are times I’d like to be the one feeding the cock.”
“Then fucking tell me these things, Alex; don’t just go find another ass to plow. Mine’s available to you anytime you want it. I have wondered how it would feel to have you inside of me.”
“Then why didn’t you ever ask me?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to; that you were a bottom boy.”
Alex laughed. “I like that term; it describes Jan perfectly. But yeah, baby, I‘d love to be deep inside your ass; making you grunt and moan. Not to sound arrogant, but I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good at it.”
Kaleb smiled for the first time. “I’ll be the judge of that.” He rubs his face again. “What the fuck do we do, Alex? I don’t want to lose you; I don’t want you to leave. What the hell do we do now?”
“We try to move forward. You try to forgive me for what I did today. I will never do it again; I promise you. That’s really all we can do, Kaleb; move forward or move apart.”
“I don’t want to move apart; I guess we’ll have to find a way to move forward. I will work on forgiving you; just give me a little time. You can’t fuck him again, though; I can’t deal with that. Let him go find some other cock to plow his ass. I know several guys that would love his ass to have for their very own; I’ll send them his way.”
Alex smirked. “No… You can’t send a bunch of sailors to fuck him; that’s not nice. He’ll get over it; or he’ll find a way to satisfy himself. I’ll tell him to just use a cucumber the next time his ass is hungry.”
Kaleb laughed. “I can kind of picture him with a vegetable shoved up his ass.” He looks directly at Alex. “Are you truly sorry about what happened?”
“I am. I’m truly sorry I did that; and I’m even sorrier that I hurt you. Please find a way to forgive me.”
“I do love you, you fucking SS thug.” He smiles at Alex. “Give me a little time; OK?”
“Take all the time you need. I need you to forgive me, and I’ll wait as long as I have to. And Wolfy’s the thug, not me.” He grinned.
“He is too. Did you clean yourself after your afternoon of ass plowing?”
“Yes. I took a shower and brushed my teeth; why?”
“I didn’t want to taste him, or think he’s still on you in any way.”
“All cleaned up. I am sorry, Kaleb.”
“I know you are, Alex.” Kaleb stoods up and walks over to Alex, and pulled him into his arms. “I know you are. I’ll get past this; it will just take a little time. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Kaleb; as much as I know how.”
Kaleb held Alex in his arms for about 20 seconds before pulling back a little and giving him a kiss. He broke the kiss and looked at Alex. “Thug.”
Alex smirked “Squid.”
Kaleb laughed. “So, Scharführer, did you learn any interesting interrogation techniques?”
Alex grinned. “Several that you might find interesting; and all of them from Willy.”
Kaleb grinned. “After learning how much of a pervert he can be, that might prove entertaining. You’ll have to show me a couple of them some night.”
Alex smiled. “I’m available for interrogations anytime you want. We could start now, if you’re interested….”
Kaleb smiled at him. “Not right now, baby; I’m not quite ready for that. I just want to hold you tonight, and know that you’re still here.”
“I’ll stay as long as you want me.”
“Keep your dick in your pants and that’ll be forever.”
Alex smirks. “Except for when you want it; you have a deal. I plan to grow old with you.”
“Good; I’d planned something along those lines as well. Let me ask you; would you forgive me in the same circumstance?”
“Yes. I’d forgive you most anything, Kaleb; my love for you is unconditional.”
Kaleb grins. “You’re not just saying that so I’ll forgive you; you really would?”
Alex smiled. “I really would. I would be every bit as mad are you are right now, but I would forgive you. I can’t bear the thought of losing you, and I would do most anything to keep you here.”
Kaleb sighed. “I know you would… That’s one of the reasons I love you so much. I guess I’m not as mad as I was; I’m just trying to take all of this in. I’m sorry I said those things; sorry I called you a slut and wanted to call you a greedy bitch. It’s kind of a kick in the balls when you find out you’re not enough man for your lover.”
“Don’t even think that, Kaleb. You’re more than enough man for any two lovers; I was just being stupid and greedy. I didn’t do that with Jan because I’m not satisfied with our sex life; I did it because he sweet-talked me into it, and because I’d done it before.”
“How the hell did he sweet-talk you into it, anyway?”
Alex blushed a little. “He was standing naked in the doorway to the bathroom, just getting out of the shower when I walked in. He started talking about being horny in ways that Amelie couldn’t satisfy. He reached out and grabbed my crotch, and I didn’t stop him, even though I should have. He made my dick hard and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. He just kept saying that it would be fun; that we could do it like we used to. I told him I couldn’t do that to you; I couldn’t cheat on you. I asked him if he could cheat on Amelie that way, and he told me that it wasn’t cheating because it was with a man; and with a brother.”
“So he justifies it to himself; and then to you, by saying that it’s not cheating if it’s kept in the family. That’s just really selfish, Alex; how did you let him talk you into that?”
“I know I shouldn’t have, but I did; he made me hard and horny. I got weak and let him convince me that it was OK as long as it was just with my brother.”
Kaleb shook his head; a small grin appearing. “I know how he did it; I’ve done it the same way several times with you. You think with your dick, baby; you have to stop doing that. I’m the only one that get’s to make you hard and horny.”
Alex smiled. “You make me hard and horny all the time. I promise you, baby; my dick is only yours from now on. I’ll never fuck around on you, ever again.”
“You’d better not. I don’t like to share, and I don’t care if it's family or not.” Kaleb grinned. “I sure hope you dumped one huge fucking load up his ass; it has to last him the rest of his life.”
Alex smirked. “Well, he did have to go to the toilet because it started running down his leg.”
Kaleb laughed. “That’ll teach him to fuck with my man.”
Alex looks him in the eyes. “I’m still your man?”
“Yes, baby; you’re still my man. I want no other; I love only you. Now take me to our bed and hold me all night.”
“Gladly. Come with me, sexy man….”
The following morning I was walking into the general store at little after 0800 for my daily coffee with my best friend.
“Is the coffee ready?”
“Isn’t it always?”
“Like the sunrise. How did you sleep?”
“Like the dead until about 0230 when Greta elbowed me to go get Manfred and bring him to her.”
I laugh. “Ah fatherhood; I thought you said it was wonderful?”
“It is, Willy; I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Not even a full-night’s sleep.”
“I’ll ask again in about a year; when you’re ready to trade your soul for a full-night’s sleep.”
“It will never happen. How did you and the family sleep?”
“About the same; we were wiped out from yesterday. I did hear Jan and Amelie come in around the same time you were getting Manfred, but I went right back to sleep. I try to keep Wolfy from nursing in the middle of the night.”
Peter laughed. “If Wolfy had his way you’d have a house full of little ones. Maybe Wolfy thinks that now that Jan’s all grown up, he’ll need to hear the pitter patter again.”
We both laughed. “He can have a dog.”
“You really don’t want children?”
“No, Peter; I’ve never seen myself as a father. I love being an uncle to Manfred, but I’ve never seen myself with kids of my own.”
“There was a time not long ago that you had three of them, plus Erich and Sasha; all adoring of you.”
I smile. “I’m pretty sure they still adore me; but they were never kids, Peter. They were just young men trying to grow up in the middle of a war while playing soldier for a psychopath.”
“That’s true, my friend. I don’t know if we have the right to be; but I’m very proud of the three of them. They’ve grown into fine men; they’ve come into their own.”
I smiled. “They have. I’m proud of them, too, as proud as any father could ever be. The only thing I’ve ever wanted for them — for you, too — is to be happy and healthy. I think they all are.”
“I think they are, too. See, you’d make a great father; you’ve always loved them as if they were your children. Just sometimes a little incestuously….” He laughed.
“Laugh it up, old man; I seem to remember you and Alex being more than friends for a short time.”
Peter smirked. “I never said I was like a father to them. You make a great dad, though; you should re-think it.”
I laughed. “Well, no matter how many times I try, Wolfy just doesn’t get pregnant.”
Peter laughed. “Not that he wouldn’t if he could….”
“Don’t go there. You may have to have more kids, Peter; we need to surround him with enough of them to make him not want any.”
“I’m not sure I’m the man for the job; talk to Jan. It would take a lot of kids to make Wolfy not want some of his own.”
“Are you planning on more?”
“We want one more, to give Manfred someone to have all the time. We’ll see after that.”
“Thank God this war is finally over; he’ll never know the feeling of being at war with the entire world.”
“Let’s hope he never does. I’m not naïve enough to think there will never be another war in his lifetime; but let’s just hope it’s nothing like the one we just got done with.”
“Yes. I can’t imagine there’d be another man like Hitler; or a people so willing to follow him to their doom. Let’s hope the world has learned at least that much from all of this.”
“I pray for that every night, Willy. I don’t want my son, my children, to ever go through that. I think it will be hard enough to explain to them that their father was a part of that; that they were born during that time.”
“You weren’t a part of it, Peter; we were just doing our duty, fighting for Germany. I don’t think Manfred, or any other, would hold you the least bit responsible for what happened.”
“I hope not. I do think about it from time to time; wondering how I’m going to tell him that I was one of the bad men in the black uniforms. How do I do that; how do I tell my son when he comes home from school one day and tells me about the SS and all the terrible things they did? How do I tell him I was one of them?”
“You weren’t one of them, Peter. You were just a man serving his country in a black uniform. Just explain to him that you did it for the reasons you did; it allowed you to do the kind of work you wanted to do; that you had nothing to do with the bad things.”
“Do you really think people will ever be able to differentiate the man from the uniform; from the evil man in charge?”
“I don’t know. I hope the more enlightened will see that every man is different; you can’t just judge someone because of the clothes he once wore. I’d also like to think that people will stop judging me for the person I choose to love. Maybe someday we’ll be enough self-aware that things like that won’t make a difference.”
“I hope you’re right; but I don’t see it happening in our lifetime; maybe Manfred’s.”
I grin. “Just to satisfy myself; tell me honestly. How would you react, as a father, if Manfred ever came to you and said he was in love with another man?”
“I would worry about his safety from all the close-minded thugs that would want to hurt him just because of it; but I would be happy for him. I love my son unconditionally, Willy; it doesn’t matter to me who he falls in love with. Besides, I’ve spent the last three years being surrounded by men in love with each other; I’ve gotten used to it.” He grinned.
“That’s good. See, Peter; that’s how we make change. We start with one person and go on to the next one and the next. We can’t change people’s opinion about anything; but we can change a person’s opinion; one at a time. We can make one person see that not all SS were evil men; that not all homosexuals are deviants. We do it one at a time.”
“That would take an awfully long time.”
“You’re not seeing the big picture. We tell a friend, they tell a friend, their friend tells more friends. It becomes exponential and it continues to grow. I’m not setting out to change the world, Peter; but I would like to eventually see a world where people are more open-minded and accepting.”
“I understand what you’re saying, and I hope you get your wish. I have a feeling though, that the world will become even more close-minded now; they have wounds to heal.”
“Yes, they do; and they will need time to heal. But who’s to say that by the time Manfred is our age that people won’t be more accepting of differences; not just queers, but skin color, religion, personal beliefs…. I mean look where the hate and fear got us; Hitler tried to wipe out the entire Jewish population just because of a simple fear of what he didn’t understand.”
“That’s the problem though. He was able to convince millions that they should have that same fear and let him exterminate an entire race of people. People are like cattle, Willy; they just follow whoever’s speaking the loudest. You and I are just another example of that. We came to believe what he told us during his speeches in the early days because he was the only one saying anything; and he was saying it the loudest.”
“Yeah, but maybe we taught the rest of world what not to do; maybe they’ve been paying attention to what really happened? I would like to think that people are still smart enough to recognize when they’re being led down the wrong path; especially now that they’ve had such a blow to their psyches in thinking all the evil in the world was wiped out with Napoleon. It is un-doubtable there will be another man like Hitler sometime in the future. Let’s just hope we’ve all learned our lesson.”
“I hope so, too, my friend. I know I don’t want to be around for the next one; and I don’t want my children to be around either. Let’s hope Hitler gets his wish of a thousand years; just not quite the way he’d envisioned.”
“The fact he managed thirteen years is scary enough. Do you think they will prosecute the ones who are still alive; the ones responsible for this?”
“Without question. The world will want its revenge on us, Willy; and they will do whatever they can to get it. It wouldn’t surprise me if Germany just ceased to exist.”
“Do you really think that could happen; that they would just annex us to surrounding countries? Make us just go away for all time?”
“What’s to stop them? They’re in charge of Germany now; they have all the power. I don’t really know that they would do that; but they will try to find anyone responsible that’s still living; and they will bring them to justice.”
“They should; but they shouldn’t dissolve Germany in the process. I may have fled, but it’s my home; it’s the country I was born in and fought for. I have ancestors going back over two centuries who are German; I don’t want it to just disappear.”
“I don’t either; but we have no say anymore; no German does.”
“No we don’t; we gave up that right when we started this war; when we started killing indiscriminately. I just hope they don’t; I don’t want to see my homeland vanish from the face of the earth.”
“Like I said, I don’t know what they’ll do. But isn’t it usually the victors that get the spoils of war? If we’d actually succeeded in Russia, don’t you think we’d have made it a part of Greater Germany; like we did Poland and the others?”
“I see your point. That’s a horrible thing to contemplate, Peter; the idea of our home country being taken. What might help is there are actually two victors in this instance; maybe they’ll just leave it alone; let it go back to Germans.”
“Or worse; what if they split it in half? What if Russia takes half and America takes the other half? What happens to the people who are still in Germany?”
“I can’t imagine that ever happening, Peter….”
The End... Epilogue to follow.
Posted: 02/01/13