Running Scared

Saying goodbye to Liam wasn’t easy, even though I hadn’t seen him in over two years before this occasion. We were very close, and I looked up to him. But I also knew that, in a way, he looked up to me as well. There had been many times in the past when people had tried to figure out just what it was that made our friendship so strong. All I ever said when they asked me was, that he had always been there for me when I had needed a friend. And it was the truth.

But this time it was different; he had done a lot more then I had expected, or even been willing to ask. And the truth was, I wasn’t sure how long it would be until I saw him again—given the fact that Joel and I may get caught. In that case it would almost be a certainty that I would go to jail.

As Joel and I collected our things from the bedroom, ready to hit the road, I had no idea of what I should say to Liam.

When we had gotten back from the park, Liam had acted as though nothing had happened. He made us lunch, and we sat and enjoyed it, but now I knew we had to get moving if we were going to make it across the border before it got dark. I decided it was better if we crossed during the day, as it would raise less suspicion.

After Joel and I had our gear together, we walked out into the kitchen. I told Joel to hop in the jeep and that I would be out in a minute. I gave him Liam’s car keys, and he said goodbye to Liam.

In the end Liam wrapped him in a hug, and then the boy was gone out of the front door. I was left standing in front of my best friend, and I still had no idea what to say.

After a few short minutes, Liam stepped to me and wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big hug.

For the entire time that I had known Liam, no matter what was going on in our lives, no matter how upset I was, as soon as Liam wrapped me in his arms, I felt like I owned the world. As we stood there in the embrace, I felt the stress of the last three days creep up and overtake me. I felt my eyes prickle, as I sensed that it was only a matter of a few seconds until I would start crying.

Liam seemed to sense this, too, as he pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.

I knew what he wanted to ask me, and I hoped that he wouldn’t, because the longer I stood there, the more uncertain I became about what I was doing.

Noticing this, he chose his next words carefully. “Jason, be careful, PLEASE.”

I tried to look confident as I nodded my head, even though I didn’t feel the slightest bit of confidence. I knew that Liam could see right through my façade, but he just smiled. We again stood in silence, neither one wanting to speak.

I looked out the open door; I knew that the moment I walked out of that door, there would be no turning back. “Liam, I can't thank you enough for what you have done today. I mean, when I come back…” I had to pause, because I had tears streaming down my face. I knew that no matter what I said, there was a chance that I wouldn’t come back. So I decided that what I wanted to say, would be better left unsaid.

Liam seemed to understand, and he just nodded. I could sense that Liam was also struggling with his own emotions.

I looked down at the ground, waiting for the right words to come to me. I could sense that Liam was doing something, but I wasn’t looking up as I tried to stop the tears. When I finally did look up, Liam was holding out his hand. It wasn’t until I grabbed the offered hand that I realised Liam was handing me money.

I went to protest, but Liam shook his head and said, “Come on, bro; you need it more than I do.”

I nodded my head and thanked him. Finally I took a deep breath and said, “Thanks, Liam, you are the best friend I’ve ever had, and I'll come back.” Liam looked at me slightly sceptical, so I decided to add, “I don’t know when it will be, but I swear, as soon as I can, I will come back. I promise.” Liam seemed satisfied as we started to walk towards the front door. As I left, my heart was beating at a thousand beats per second.

When we reached the door, I turned back to Liam. I noticed he was looking past me, to where his jeep was.
Then he finally asked the question that I knew he had wanted to ask all morning. “Jason, tell me the truth; do you love the boy?”

I didn’t answer straight away; I looked at Joel sitting in the jeep, waiting for me. I gulped silently as I wondered how Liam would react. “Yeah, I think I do,” I finally decided to admit.

Liam looked at me a little stunned at my confession. I watched Liam closely, hoping that he wouldn’t hate me for what I had just said.

But he began to smile; a big smile crossed his face. “I’m glad. I can tell he likes you, too. Just be careful like I told you, and when you come back to see me; make sure that you aren’t alone either.”

I knew what he meant by that, and I smiled and hugged him tightly, pulling him close to my body again.

After we finished our embrace Liam released me and said, “Now GO, Jason, and be CAREFUL.”

I nodded, and with one last look at him, I made my way to the jeep. I climbed in and looked back at Liam. I could see that he was fighting back tears. I sat down and started the engine. I looked across at Joel, he was looking a little sad. “Are you ready to go, buddy?”

Joel looked back at the house with a sad little smile, then nodded.

I wound down my window and waved goodbye to Liam. Then I began to reverse out of the driveway.

Liam waved goodbye back as I turned the jeep down the street, leaving my best friend standing there.

We had been driving for about five or ten minutes when I finally regained control of my emotions. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to take a couple of deep breaths, and then was able to push Liam to the back of my mind. Once I had calmed down, I turned on the radio and settled down for the drive. Joel seemed to have settled down as well; we drove in silence for quite some time.

After I had been driving for just over an hour, I looked across at Joel; the boy seemed to be deep in thought. I placed a hand on his leg, just above the kneecap. The touch of my hand startled him a bit. He looked at me, and at first he looked bewildered, but then when our eyes met, he looked relieved. “You okay, Joel?” He didn't answer me; he looked sad, and continued to look out of the car window as we traveled.

I fought the urge to find out what was wrong. I decided to let Joel tell me when he was ready. So, I went back to focusing on driving and the road. As I continued to drive, I occasionally glanced over to make sure that the boy was okay. Joel continued to look out of the window with the sad face I saw reflected in the glass. I caught him on a few occasions looking at me, but I had no idea what was going on in his head.

We were fast approaching the border, and the sky was slowly becoming a beautiful violet colour. Joel and I had remained in almost complete silence. I was more then a little worried about what was wrong. I had thought more than once about whether Joel was upset with what had happened between us earlier in the morning, at the fort. I knew it was a strong possibility.

When we were about fifteen minutes from the border, I pulled the jeep over into a truck stop. Joel looked at me a bit surprised. He seemed to be afraid of something, but I tried to dispel those thoughts of fear. From my shirt pocket, I pulled the ID’s that Liam had given me, and I handed one to Joel.

He looked at it and a smile crept across the side of his face. “Cool.”

He pocketed the card, and I put mine into my wallet. I hoped that we wouldn’t need them, but I decided it was better safe than sorry.

I looked at Joel and could see that something was still upsetting him. I was dying to ask him what it was, but I decided that I had better not; instead, I just told him, “When we get to the border, act normal, and we should be fine.”

Joel nodded. Then he went back to looking out of the window, without saying a word.

I sighed as I started the jeep once again, and moved back onto the highway. As I drove I kept on looking at Joel hoping for a change in his mood, but there was no change.

I was nervous when we reached the border, but we passed through without any hassles. The police still had officers posted there looking for me, but the head officer just waved us through, although I did notice one of the cops eye us a bit suspiciously. The look he gave us scared me, but it didn’t matter, because within a minute or so we were speeding up; we headed farther and farther away from the border.

We had made it safely into South Australia. It was such a huge relief for me after all of the panic that crossing the border had caused. I was certain that things would be simpler once we were out of the state. As I looked around the jeep, I saw much the same landscape that we had been driving through for the last few hours. But something felt a lot different.

I looked at the fuel gage and saw that we were getting low; I decided to stop at the next gas station, and grab some food while we were there.

“Joel, I think there is a fuel stop just up the road; I’m going to stop there, and we’ll get something to eat there as well.”

Joel nodded, not saying anything.

He was worrying me; his silence was starting to annoy me. If Joel had a problem with me, I wanted him to tell me what it was.

We reached the station. I filled up while Joel used the restroom. Once I was filled up and parked the jeep, I headed inside and paid for it.

I ordered a burger and chips for Joel and me. When Joel came into the dining room, I looked at him. I knew that there was definitely something on his mind. When he took his seat across from me, I sighed and asked, “Joel, what the fuck’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Joel was again silent as he looked at me with the saddest eyes. Then he sighed and said. “I’m sorry, Jason; can we talk when we get back in the car?"

I wasn’t real happy, but I agreed.

Our food arrived and we ate in pretty much silence. But Joel did seem a little more responsive than he had been over the past few hours. I asked a few small questions and Joel gave simple answers.

Once we had finished our meals, we headed out to the jeep. I told Joel to hop into the jeep while I used the restroom. While I was in the toilet I thought about everything that had happened lately to Joel and me, and I knew whatever was wrong with Joel, must be something pretty upsetting. I knew I needed to find out what it was, before too long, otherwise it was going to be a long, long stressful drive.

As I was walking back toward the jeep, I saw a man walking away from it. It looked as though he had been standing at Joel’s window. I looked into the jeep through the back window as I walked toward the driver's door, and saw that Joel was shaking and looked scared. I was about to go after the guy to find out what had happened, when I saw the car he had gotten into speed out of the station.

I climbed back into the jeep. Joel was trying to smile at me, but I knew something had happened. I waited for an explanation, but when Joel didn’t offer one, I asked, “What did that guy say to you? Do you know him?”

Joel was silent for a few minutes and then he said, “It doesn’t matter; can we just get going?”

I was furious, but I swallowed my anger as I started the jeep. “Okay, Joel, but if this is going to work, you have to trust me.”

I knew instantly that I had chosen the wrong words. Joel looked at me practically in tears. I pulled out of the fuel stop. Joel just stared at me; I couldn’t tell if it was anger, or what it was.

Finally he said. “JASON, I told you I trust you; that wasn’t easy for me to say.”

I knew that he was right, but I also knew he had to tell me what was wrong with him. I continued driving along waiting to see what would happen next. I decided to let Joel make the next move.

Over the next hour it didn’t look like he was going to do anything. Then as the sky outside of our jeep darkened with the onset of night, Joel surprised me.

“Look, Jason, I’m sorry. I know I’ve been an arsehole. But…” Joel suddenly broke down in tears.

I pulled the jeep over to the side of the road and hugged Joel tightly. I let him cry for a good five minutes or so. Once he began to settle down I looked deep into his eyes and said, “Joel, it's okay; do you want to tell me what’s going on now?”

Joel gulped and took a few deep breaths. Then, once he had successfully composed himself, he said, “When we were at Liam’s, I got a phone call.”

I looked at him in total shock; he pulled out a mobile phone that I hadn’t been aware that he had all along. I decided not to ask him why he had kept it a secret.

Joel continued. “It was a friend of John’s, who was on the mobile. He said they know where we are, and that when they catch us they’re going to kill us. I told them they wouldn’t catch us. Then he said that I shouldn’t trust you; that John and you were also friends and that you were going to give me back to John.”

I was horrified. There was no other word to truly describe how I felt at that moment.

I slid closer to Joel and gave him the biggest and tightest hug that I could muster. I never wanted to let go. I was still holding him as I told him, “Please, Joel, know this: that isn’t true. I won't ever let anything happen to you. I will protect you until the day I die; I will lay my life down for you.”

It wasn’t until after I had said it, that I realised that I really meant what I had just said.

Joel rested his head on my shoulder with a deep sigh; I could feel him let go and begin to settle down. I planted a kiss on top of his head.

Joel looked up when he felt the kiss. The look in his eyes was mesmerizing. “I know, Jason, but I’m still scared.”

I was silent for a little while as I just held him.

Joel continued to stare at me, and then he slowly leaned his head in close, his lips moving toward mine. When I realised what he was trying to do, I moved my lips to meet his, and our lips met in a fiery kiss.

The kiss lasted for what seemed like a long time, and by the end of it I was practically shooting in my pants. As we came together for another kiss, I slid my hands up and down his body. It felt so incredible. Joel was moaning into the kiss as I suddenly felt his hands moving down towards the zipper of my pants. My lips were on fire as we exchanged spit.

I broke the kiss as I was brought back to my senses. I realised that we were on the side of the road, and anyone passing could see what we were doing. I placed my hand on his shoulder as he moved in for another kiss, and said, “Babe, we can't do it here. I mean people can see us.”

Joel frowned but nodded.

I patted him on the thigh and said, “We’ll find somewhere to have fun.”

Joel smiled at this and I reached down and turned the key in the ignition once again …

To be continued...