Dad didn’t get home until late that night. Jimmy was asleep in my bed. I was lying next to him in the dark wondering what his reaction would’ve been if I’d touched him right after we’d crawled in bed.  I heard Dad’s pickup pull into the yard and decided to go down to get a drink of water.

I went down the back stairs into the kitchen. The light from the living room was enough that I didn’t have to turn one on. I wasn’t trying to be quiet, but I guess I wasn’t making enough noise to be heard in the next room. Grandpa and Dad were talking.  Dad said, “May’s having trouble with one of the hands. She asked me to take over managing the ranch.”

“You of course said, ‘Yes’.”

“I’m going to ask her to marry me, Dad.”

“That’s one way to acquire more land.”

“That’s uncalled for.” I could hear the offence in his voice. “You know I was sweet on May before I went off to college and met Janet. Besides, that ranch belongs to Jimmy. I promised May I’d oversee it until he’s eighteen, or until he graduates from college, if he wants to go.”

I could visualize Grandpa’s mischievous grin getting Dad’s goat.  “How do you think those two boys upstairs are going to take this news?”

“Well, I’m not sure how Dane will take it, but I imagine Jimmy’ll be just fine with it. He and I have always been purty close. Hell, I kind of think of him as my own boy already.”

“Well, Dane only has a couple of years before he’s off to college, and Jimmy one more year than that. Did Big Jim put away any money for Jimmy’s college?”

“I doubt it, Dad. He wasn’t really education oriented, you know. Besides, if Jimmy wants to go to college, I’ll be happy to pay for it.”

“You’re a good man, Son.” 

 

I stood there in the kitchen holding my untouched glass of water, thinking about what I’d just heard. Grandpa was right. I only had two years to put up with things if it worked out that May and I didn’t get along. But I’d do my best to get along with her because my dad deserves some happiness in his life. ‘Hell,’ I thought, ‘it’s the least I could do for him.”

Before I could move toward the stairs, Dad said, “I’m going to get a glass of water and go to bed.”  He was right outside the kitchen door. I froze. Granpa was saying, “Yeah, I imagine you had a purty good workout this afternoon.”

Before Dad could reply, he’d flipped the light switch and saw me standing there with a full glass of water. “Well, thanks, Son,” he said, taking it from me. “Did you hear what I just told your granpa?”

I nodded. “I think that’s great Dad. You deserve some happiness. If Aunt May can give it to you, I’m all for it.” All grownups were called aunt or uncle down in West Texas, even though they weren’t related.

Dad set the glass on the counter and wrapped me in one of his big bear hugs.  “Thanks, Dane. I love you, Son.”

That made me happy; my dad loved me and I’d said something that made him happy.

I got another glass of water and headed for bed. I lay next to Jimmy in the dark thinking about my dad’s workout as Granpa called it. I don’t have the hots for my dad, but I did get off that night thinking about him ‘working out’ with May.

I told Jimmy the next morning about the conversation I’d over overheard. He was real quiet for a while; then he got up, got dressed and went downstairs.  I followed, not knowing what was going on in his head. He walked into the kitchen and stood at the table until Dad looked up from his paper and noticed him.

Standing straight, he said, “Sir, I’d be proud to be your son and call you Dad just like Dane and Dale. You know I love you almost as much as I loved Big Jim.” Dad’s face spread into a big smile, he held his arms out and Jimmy stepped into them. It looked like they were having a contest to see who could hug the hardest.

I thought about being jealous of having to share my dad now that I had him all to myself, but quickly decided that was silly. My dad’s so full of love that there is more than enough to share with Jimmy and May.

 

That afternoon Dad got dressed up neater than usual and headed over to have dinner with May. Jimmy came hightailing it over a little bit later. He was dancing around, acting crazy. Granpa asked him what’d gotten into him. “He’s going to do it, Granpa.  He’s going to ask my mom if I can become his son.”

Granpa laughed until I thought he was going to fall down. When he finally calmed down some, he said, “Jimmy, that’s the most original way I’ve ever heard anyone say someone’s proposing.”

“Well, for me it’s the most important part of it.”

“Yup, I guess it is at that.”

Dad didn’t come home that night. He didn’t come home until nearly noon the next day. And he was all smiles and really happy.

Jimmy took one look at Dad and yelled, “Yippee! Dang, if he didn’t do it. Just look at him grin.”

Dad got all embarrassed and kicked at the dirt with his boot toe, but he did have a silly grin on his face. Granpa looked at him and asked. “So.....am I going to have a new daughter-in-law or not?”

Dad raised his eyebrows and scrunched his face funny and said, “Yup, next Monday we’ll all go into McCamey to the Justice of the Peace and you three can be our witnesses.”

“Yippee!” Jimmy yelled again.  

 

Brian showed up about four the afternoon that Dale left.  He looked like he’d been on a weeklong drinkin’ binge.  He started apologizing to Dad and asked if he still had a job. Dad grabbed the sad looking young man and pulled him into one of his big bear hugs. “Brian, even if you and Dale don’t make it as a couple, you’ll still always have a place on this ranch. You’re one of us, Son. Don’t you go forgetting that.”  I swear, after that, Brian worked harder than ever to please Dad.

 

Neither Dad nor Granpa had ever had a ranch foreman. But at the next roundup, Dad announced to the rest of the hands that Brian was the new foreman - and what he said was word. There were only two older men that worked year round for Dad. Neither one was interested in taking on the responsibility. The other men were seasonal cowboys. They all liked and respected Brian. 

 

Granpa, Dad, Jimmy and I worked right along with Brian and the rest of the men rounding up all the cattle, separating the calves and branding them. Dad sold off a hundred yearlings that year.

 

Right after Dad and May got married; Dad bought Jimmy a pickup just like mine, except his was a creamy white. We’d take turns driving to school. It was just after the roundup that Jimmy started acting weird toward me. First off, he started taking his pickup everyday and insisted that I take my own. After school, he’d disappear and wouldn’t show up at home until nearly dark. I covered for him by doing his chores so Dad wouldn’t get on his case.  I hadn’t considered just how observant Dad is, but then, he had Brian as another set of eyes, too.

 

Our chores during the school week were pretty simple; milking the two cows, feeding them and the hogs and chickens. Jimmy had covered for me several times. Brian had asked me a couple of times where Jimmy was and I’d just say he had practice or a hot date or something. Brian didn’t push it.

I started hearing rumors around school that Jimmy and a boy named Oliver were seeing each other. Ollie had a reputation. He was known as the school queer. Now, I know that I am gay, and I know enough to hide it. I keep my eyes to myself in the showers and I date girls... not a lot, and not steady... just enough to keep my cover. But Ollie didn’t seem to give a damn about what others thought of him. He wasn’t flamboyant, he didn’t flaunt his preferences, but he didn’t deny anything either. He was quiet and studious. I had no idea how he got his reputation.

I’d often wondered about Jimmy ever since the time I noogied his head and he came in his pants, but he’d never made a pass at me or gave me the least hint that he was into guys.  What was crazy was that I found myself being jealous. Jimmy was my best friend and if someone was going to get into his pants, I wanted it to be me. Not someone like Ollie. 

 

It was into the second week of doing Jimmy’s evening chores that Dad stepped in and asked what was going on.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, Dad. I think maybe Jimmy has a girlfriend he’s seeing every afternoon. He’s avoiding me and won’t talk to me about it. By the time I get out of class and out to my truck, he’s long gone.”

“Well, it’s time he started doing his own chores again. So leave them undone tomorrow night.”

“Yes, Sir.”

 

That evening when Jimmy came in, Dad and May were in the den watching TV. I made a point of being in the kitchen, even though at that time of evening I’m usually studying. When Dad confronted him about doing his chores, he looked at me like he thought I had tattled on him.

“No, Jimmy, Dane’s been covering for you. Both Brian and I have noticed that. You go out and take care of the hogs and chickens. They haven’t been fed yet.”

 Jimmy bowed his head and slouched out to do his chores.  When he came back into the kitchen and took his saved dinner from the oven and sat down at the kitchen table to eat, I got a soda and sat across from him. He ignored my presence.

“Jimmy? Have I done something to make you dislike me? Are you mad at me about something?”

He glanced at me for the first time and shook his head. “Nope.”

“Then, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”  He kept his eyes on his plate.

“Bullshit. Talk to me. I’m supposed to be your best friend. You haven’t spoken a dozen words to me in the last two weeks. I do all your chores to cover for you, and you don’t even say thanks.

“Thanks,” he muttered around a mouthful of food.

“Fuck you.” I pushed my chair back and stood up. “You better be home early tomorrow night. ’Cause Dad told me to stop doing them for you.”

“He’s not my father. He can’t do anything to me if I don’t want to do them.”

Neither one of us were aware that May was standing at the kitchen door. “Dane, excuse us, please.” I walked out of the kitchen, but stopped to hear what she said.

“Jimmy,” she said. “I don’t know what Dale would do. But as of this minute you are grounded. Give me your truck keys.”

“Ah, Mom. Please, don’t do this to me.” he whined.  She held out her hand and Jimmy dug into his pants pocket, pulled them out and dropped them into her hand. “Now,” she said, “you may ride to school and back with Dane, if he wishes to let you. If not, you’ll ride the bus.”

I grimaced in chagrin and headed to my bedroom. I didn’t like being put into that position.

A while later I had lost myself in the novel I was reading for my English class when there was a hesitant knocking at my door. “Come in,” I called out.

I heard the knob turn and looked up to see Jimmy leaning against the door frame, his head down. When May moved in and Jimmy was no longer a guest, he was given his own room.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I need to talk to you.”

“So come on in and make yourself comfortable.”  I was sitting against the headboard propped up on my pillows. I drew my legs up and tossed a pillow to the foot of the bed for him. He ignored the gesture and sat at my desk. Interweaving his fingers, he sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees and stared at the floor.

“Talk to me, Jimmy. I’m the one that loves you. You’re my best friend.”

He sighed. “I probably won’t be once you hear me out.”

“I can’t imagine what you could do to make me stop.”

He bucked his head, but still didn’t look up. “I really fucked up. I’m being blackmailed. And now that I’ve lost my truck, I guess he’ll tell.”

“You want to enlighten me? Who is he? And why are you being blackmailed.”

“You know Oliver Wright?”

“I know of him.”

“You’ve heard he’s queer, right?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded his head, still staring at the floor. I waited.

“He caught me looking and he came on to me.  I went over to his house. I thought I’d just get a blowjob. Well… I did get my blowjob. But I let him talk me into blowing him, too. It wasn’t hard to do. I’d been curious for some time. I thought it was just a onetime thing, but the next day he told me that if I didn’t continue meeting him every day he’d announce to everyone that I’d sucked his cock.

“It got worse. Next he was demanding to fuck me. I argued with him. I pleaded and begged. I finally gave in. Now he’s really lording it over me. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Jimmy hadn’t looked up once. I studied the top of his head as I considered what to do. I made a decision, slid off the bed and walked over to the door. I heard Jimmy sob as I turned the lock. I walked over and stood in front of him. He finally looked up. I smiled at him. “Stand up, Jimmy,” I softly said.

He hesitantly stood, looking at me as though he expected me to knock him down.

I reached up to wipe the tears off his cheeks. He dodged.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Buddy. I told you I love you. I meant it, Jim. I love you. We’ll figure out what to do about Ollie together.”

I reached up again, and this time he let me wipe his cheeks. I then took his face between my hands and gently kissed his lips.

He looked at me incredulously. “How can you kiss me? These lips were wrapped around Oliver’s cock not two hours ago.”

Still holding his head, I looked into his eyes. “Did you enjoy it?”

He searched my face looking for the reason that I would ask that question. I guess he found an acceptable answer because, he said, “He’s got a nice cock, but I hate the humiliation.”

“Jimmy, would you find it humiliating to let me suck your cock?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Since the day up on top the mountain when I made you come in your pants, I’ve wanted to taste you.”

For a moment his expression went blank, and then he frowned. “I wish you had told me. I didn’t think that you’re gay. Otherwise, I’d never done anything with Oliver. Oh, God, am I fucked.”

I kissed him again. He clung to me, but didn’t respond to my kiss.

“Why don’t you stay with me? Let me hold you. I love you, Buddy. We’ll figure this out tomorrow.”

He let me undress him and he crawled into my bed. I quickly followed. Again he clung to me as I held him. He’d occasionally sigh. “Go to sleep Jimmy. Everything will be okay,” I murmured. I drifted off to sleep happy to have him in my bed, even if it was only to sleep.

 It was still dark the next morning when I heard my door knob turn. I quickly slipped out of bed, unlocked the door and opened it to see Dad fully dressed.

“Jimmy is missing,” he whispered.

I opened my door wider and pointed at my bed where he could see Jimmy sleeping.

“Oh,” he said. “Has he talked to you?”

I nodded and said, “Let me get some clothes on and I’ll come talk to you.”

Dad headed down to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. I dressed, took a leak and headed down, too.

Dad smiled at me. “They are both heavy sleepers. I don’t think we’ll wake them.”

I sat at the table and watched him fill two mugs and set one in front of me. He leaned his butt against the counter and sipped from his steaming mug.

“So, what’s going on?”

Jimmy hadn’t asked me to keep what he told me to myself. He knew I wouldn’t go blabbing it around. But I knew that if he was going to get out of this mess unscathed, he needed help… and who better than Dad.

“He’s being blackmailed,” I said. I went on to tell him the whole sordid story. Dad kept nodding his head and when I finished, he poured us both another mugful, then sat down.

“Here’s what going to happen,” he said.  He went on to lay out his whole plan. It so happened that he was good friends with the high school principal and the superintendent. He’d also known Oliver’s dad who had been killed in an oil rig accident. Oliver’s mother had been in high school with dad.

Soon after daybreak Dad was on the phone. He set up a meeting with the principal, the superintendent, and Mrs. Wright. He told me not to say anything to Jimmy, to take him to school and keep assuring him that everything would be okay. I did that, but I spent the day being antsy, wondering what was going on. I didn’t see Jimmy or Oliver at all, but then I never often did.

At the end of the school day I headed for my truck. Jimmy was waiting for me, leaning against the hood with his arms crossed. He wasn’t smiling and that worried me.  I walked up to him and asked, “Are you okay?”

He eyed me and shook his head. “You are about the sneakiest low down, cow humpin’, bulldogger I’ve ever known.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You told me last night, and again this morning not to worry, that everything would be okay.  I didn’t believe you, but guess what? You were right.”

I smiled. “So, what’s the problem?”