The One Who Almost Got Away
By:
J.T. Evergreen
The poetry in writing is the illusion
it creates.
(© 2018 by the author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's
consent. Comments are appreciated at...
jtevergreen@tickiestories.us
Russ Martin sits on a park bench in front of a blank stucco wall.
He sees the person he is waiting for and quickly looks away.
RUSS -vo
I don’t know why I did that. It’s a public place. I guess I can look at anyone or anything I choose to look at.
ANGEL - vo
Guilt.
RUSS
What? Who said that?
ANGEL .
I did … you looked away because you felt guilt for what you were doing.
RUSS
I didn’t do anything. I was just looking.
ANGEL
No, you were lusting. That’s why you felt guilty.
russ.
Who the hell are you, and where the hell are you?
ANGEL
I’m your guardian Angel,my clueless friend, and I know why you’ve been stalking him.
russ.
I haven’t been stalking him.
ANGEL
Sure you have. Loitering in the same place for over two weeks to watch him pass by … is called stalking.
RUSS
It’s not stalking. It’s coincidence.
ANGEL
Pish posh. You want him.
RUSS
I do not.
ANGEL
Yes, you do. Admit it.
RUSS
That’s crazy. That’s really crazy. But, I must admit, he is attractive. And, maybe I was lusting … just a little.
ANGEL
You were doing a lot more than lusting … just a little.
RUSS
No, I was not.
ANGEL
Hey, I have access to your imagination which has been working overtime on this dude. You’ve been very naughty.
RUSS
Okay, so he’s drop-dead gorgeous. And I suppose I’ve been naughty. So what? Handsome is as handsome does.
ANGEL
What does that mean?
RUSS
I don’t know. It’s a cliché.
ANGEL
Do you even know what a cliché is?
RUSS
It’s a …
ANGEL
I thought so. It means lacking original thought. That’s you, all right.
RUSS
That’s not true, I’m very creative … and sensitive.
ANGEL
So you say … with tongue in check. So, why not just say something creative to him. What’s the worst that can happen?
RUSS
I don’t know. He might laugh at me or even worse … ignore me all together. Just get off of my case. I know it’s a fantasy. But, it’s my fantasy and I’m enjoying it. So leave me alone. But, maybe you’re right.
ANGEL
About what?
RUSS
Me wanting him. I’m so fucking lonely I could scream.
ANGEL
Gee, what a surprise.
RUSS
Little good ‘wanting’ will do me. Look at him. He must be seven feet tall and built like a brick shit house.
ANGEL
With every brick in place. Oh, yum.
RUSS
Hey, watch it! He’s my fantasy … not yours.
ANGEL
But, he’s not that tall. Maybe 6-1 or 6-2 tops.
RUSS
And me at 5-10.
ANGEL
5-9
RUSS
With my lifts, I’m 5-10. But, still and all, standing next to him would get a good laugh. We’d be like Mutt and Jeff. I’ll be lucky if he even notices me. Oh, Jesus. He just turned around and is coming back. He’s never done that before. Now what do I do?
ANGEL
Why don’t you say something to him? Something a tall person would say.
RUSS
Come on, give me a break. Like what?
ANGEL
Be nonchalant. And stop staring at that blank wall. It’s a dead giveaway there’s something wrong with you.
RUSS
Too late. Here he comes.
ANGEL
Tilt your head a little like you’ve just discovered the secret of life in that stucco.
RUSS
ZIP IT!
ANGEL
Forget about saying anything. Looks like he’s about to say something to you.
RUSS
Oh, God.
CHARLIE
Hi.
RUSS
Shit. Now what do I do?
ANGEL
How about saying hi back?
RUSS
Oh, hi.
ANGEL
Ask him to sit down.
RUSS
I can’t do that.
ANGEL
Yes, you can. Yes, you must. I’m getting sick of your – nobody loves me – crap. And keep breathing for goodness sake.
RUSS
I’m Russ Martin; would you care to sit down?
ANGEL
Good boy.
RUSS
He’s much bigger than I thought
ANGEL
Yeah, he sure is. Way bigger.
RUSS
Whaddaya mean by that?
ANGEL
Whaddaya think I mean?”
CHARLIE
Thanks. I’m Charlie Costa. And you’re not fooling me.
RUSS
What?
CHARLIE
I walk this way every afternoon and you’re always here … loitering.
RUSS
I’m not loitering.
CHARLIE
Of course you are, but that’s okay.
RUSS
So?
CHARLIE
So, what’s so interesting about that wall you keep staring at when I walk by?
ANGEL
He’s got ya. Better fess up.
RUSS
I …
CHARLIE
Come on, fess up.
ANGEL
I told you. When are you gonna start listening to me, egghead?
RUSS
I …
CHARLIE
Sorry. Guess I must be mistaken.
ANGEL
Say something, moron, before he gets up and goes away forever.
RUSS
No, you aren’t …
CHARLIE
Aren’t what? [He grins]
RUSS
Mistaken. [He laughs nervously]
CHARLIE
I’m assuming you’re as interested in me, as I am in you.
RUSS
That’s direct. Are you always this way?
CHARLIE
No, but I know what I want and I usually get it.
ANGEL
He’s self-confident. Perfect.
RUSS
Will you shut up?
ANGEL
Ok, ok, but his hormones are oozing all over the place.
RUSS
Hormones don’t ooze.
RUSS
Yes, I’m interested, but I have to warn you. [Grins]
CHARLIE
About what?
RUSS
I never do anything on my first date.
CHARLIE
Neither do I. [Laughs]
RUSS
So, now what do we do?
CHARLIE
Get the first date out of the way, I guess.
RUSS
I like this guy.
angel
So do I. He’s definitely a catch... unless you screw it up.
RUSS
I think you’re right.
ANGEL
About?
RUSS
Hormones oozing. I know mine are … big time.
RUSS
Any ideas on how we go about getting past the first date?
CHARLIE
As a matter of fact, I do.
RUSS
And that would be?
CHARLIE
There’s a French restaurant over on Clement. Join me for dinner?
RUSS
Ok, but only if we go Dutch. Just in case you turn out to be a frog.
CHARLIE
Fair enough. Me a frog? Never. [Grins]
RUSS
He has such a beautiful smile, I may fall in love before the evening is over. [Smiling]
ANGEL
I wouldn’t push my luck if I were you.
CHARLIE
What’s the smile for?
RUSS
There’s an angel on my shoulder whispering in my ear.
CHARLIE
That’s cool. Is it a boy or girl angel?
RUSS
I don’t know. Do angels have a sex?
CHARLIE
Probably not, but if they do, I’d prefer a boy angel.
ANGEL
I’m a boy.
RUSS
[Laughs] He just said he’s a boy.
CHARLIE
What else is he whispering?
RUSS
Little nothings.
CHARLIE
About?
RUSS
You.
ANGEL
Oh, jeez. Can you get any cornier than that?
CHARLIE
Naughty or nice?
RUSS
How about ... none of your business?
CHARLIE
Ok, but I’ll eventually find out. Shall we?
RUSS
Yes, let’s.
Charlie gets up, puts out his hand and pulls Russ to a standing position. The difference in their height is evident. Russ looks up. They begin walking toward the restaurant.
RUSS
His hand felt so warm and comfortable.
ANGEL
There will be no hand holding until after the first date.
RUSS
Killjoy. Why does he keep bumping into me?
aNGEL
Do you like it?
RUSS
Yes, but isn’t it a bit presumptuous on his part?
ANGEL
He obviously wants to touch you. Enjoy it.
CHARLIE
You have a boyfriend?
RUSS
Now what do I say?
ANGEL
Well, don’t play hard to get like you usually do.
RUSS
No, I don’t.
CHARLIE
Would you like one?
RUSS
Well . . .
ANGEL
Be careful.
RUSS
What?
ANGEL
I know what you’re about to say.
RUSS
Screw you.
RUSS
As a matter of fact, I am looking for a husband.
ANGEL
Oh jeez. That is not being careful you knucklehead.
CHARLIE
Wow. You don’t beat around the bush, do you?
RUSS
Look who’s talking. How long have I known you … a whole nine minutes and you ask a question like that?
CHARLIE
Do you think I’m husband material?
RUSS
Play your cards right and we’ll find out.
ANGEL
Good answer. There’s hope for you after all.
CHARLIE
To be honest, so am I.
RUSS
So am you what?
CHARLIE
So am you what? Where did you learn English?
RUSS
Hey, I’m a product of the American educational system … such as it is.
CHARLIE
Yes, of course. I’m also looking for a husband.
RUSS
Fair enough. Glad we got that out of the way. I’m not very good at guessing or dodging issues.
CHARLIE
Neither am I. There it is. What do you think?
EXT. FRENCH RESTAURANT. TWILIGHT.
Charlie points to the restaurant across the street.
RUSS
Looks very French.
CHARLIE
They have an outdoor dining garden in the back. It’s a perfect evening for dining al fresco.
RUSS
Humm, sounds good. Do you speak French?
ANGEL
Watch it, boy.
RUSS
Mind you own business. I want to know.
CHARLIE
Oui.
RUSS
Fluently?
CHARLIE
Yes, and you?
RUSS
Are you kidding? I can barely speak English.
CHARLIE
Ah, yes. The American educational system. I almost forgot.
RUSS
I wish I could forget. So, where were you educated? Don’t answer that.
CHARLIE
Why not?
RUSS
It’s obviously in Europe somewhere, and you’re probably a hell of a lot smarter than I am.
CHARLIE
Do you want me to tell you or not?
ANGEL
I don’t believe you cornered him like this. Have you lost your mind?”
RUSS
I know. I didn’t mean this to happen.
ANGEL
Try keeping your big mouth shut for a change.
RUSS
Yeah, you may as well.
CHARLIE
It’s not that big of a deal.
RUSS
Maybe to you it isn’t.
CHARLIE
Why don’t we just enjoy a meal together?
RUSS
No, I want to know.
ANGEL
Please kick yourself in the rear end with my compliments.
CHARLIE
Ok, I was schooled in Switzerland.
ANGEL
Schooled in Switzerland. What a classy way of saying it.
RUSS
Yeah, I know. It’s his classiness that bothers me.
ANGEL
You’re becoming discouraged. Stop asking questions.
RUSS
I can’t help it.
RUSS
And how many languages do you speak … fluently?
CHARLIE
Russ, come on.
RUSS
No. Tell me.
CHARLIE
Five.
RUSS
And, pray tell, what do you do for a living?
ANGEL
Oh boy, I can hardly wait for this answer.
CHARLIE
I’m an international lawyer.
RUSS
That’s swell. I’m very happy for you. I just lost my appetite. Have a nice life.
Russ turns and walks away from Charlie.
CHARLIE
Wait a minute, Russ. That’s not fair.
RUSS
Oh, yes it is. Good-bye. Don’t call me; I’ll call you.
CHARLIE
You don’t have my number.
RUSS
Oh, yes I do.
CHARLIE
Jesus, Russ. I’m so fucking lonely it hurts. Give me a chance, please.
Russ stops dead in his tracks and turns around.
RUSS
Ok. Just dinner. And you pay. You’re obviously richer than I am.
CHARLIE
Deal!
Charlie takes Russ’ arm and steers him to the restaurant entrance.
INT. FRENCH RESTAURANT. EVENING.
CHARLIE
Bonsoir, Maurice, une table pour deuxdansun coin tranquilles’ilvous plait.
RUSS
Maurice?You’ve been here before?
CHARLIE
No, I haven’t. All head waiters are called Maurice.
Russ relaxes and laughs.
An eight course meal is served. Russ is not accustomed to elegant dining. He is uncomfortable not knowing which utensil to use. He watches Charlie’s every move and copies it. Russ stops Charlie when ordering champagne.Maurice approaches.
RUSS
Charlie. I don’t like champagne. Gives me a headache.
CHARLIE
How about some wine?
RUSS
Something light, please.
CHARLIE
Puis-je a ir la liste des vinss’ilvous plait.
The meal comes to an end. Coffee with chocolate is served.
RUSS
What’s this?
CHARLIE
Chocolate.
RUSS
In my coffee?
CHARLIE
Yes, try it. I think you’ll like it.”
RUSS
Everyone here speaks so softly.
CHARLIE
It’s the way of the French.
RUSS
Not loud like most Americans. Right?
CHARLIE
Right. [Laughs]
The evening comes to a close.
Russ waits for Charlie outside the restaurant.
Charlie realizes Russ was out of his element.
EXT. FRENCH RESTAURANT. EVENING.
CHARLIE
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken you there.
RUSS
No, you shouldn’t have, but it was enjoyable. Thank you.
CHARLIE
I’d like to see you again.
RUSS
Why for heaven’s sake. Charlie, you outclass me a hundred to one just in case you haven’t noticed.
CHARLIE
That’s not fair.
RUSS
Perhaps not, but it’s honest and you know it as well as I do. I’m hoi polloi and you’re not and never will be.
CHARLIE
So, you won’t give me your phone number?
RUSS
No, you may have it, but think carefully before you use it. I meant what I said about looking for a husband and it’s a big deal with me. You make a marriage together. No one hands it to you. And it requires 24/7 attention to make it work.
CHARLIE
That’s what I want also.
RUSS
No, Charlie. You may think that’s what you want, but I don’t think someone like you is up to it. You’re jet set and probably have jet fuel in your veins.
CHARLIE
You’re wrong, Russ. I need to love and be loved like everyone else.
RUSS
Charlie, how much time do you spend overseas with your work?
CHARLIE
[No response.]
RUSS
My point exactly. Here’s my card. All the information you need is on it. If you give it some thought you’ll agree that using it would be a mistake. And I’m in no mood to be fucked with intellectually or emotionally. I’ll kick your ass if you screw with me.
CHARLIE
Is that a promise?
RUSS
Metaphorically speaking, yes.
CHARLIE
I’ll keep that in mind. [Contains smile]
They walk together several blocks. Charlie keeps bumping into Russ.
RUSS
Will you please stop doing that?
CHARLIE
Sorry. It’s just that I want to touch you … hold you … pet you.
RUSS
I never should have said it.
CHARLIE
Said what?
RUSS
About not doing anything on my first date. I should have taken you home and fucked your brains out. I certainly wanted to.
CHARLIE
We could still do that.
RUSS
Too late. I know too much about you now. You won’t be around for long.
CHARLIE
If you think you can get rid of me that easily, you’ve got another think coming.
RUSS
By morning you’ll see I’m right.
EXT. CORNER WHERE THEY PART.
They shake hands but Charlie doesn’t let go.
RUSS
What?
CHARLIE
May I kiss you?
ANGEL
Oh, honey. I think you have this guy hooked.
RUSS
Ok, but no French kissing. [They kiss.]
RUSS
If you ever do that again, please keep your eyes open.
CHARLIE
I will, I promise.
RUSS
You can let go of my hand.
ANGEL
I think he wants another kiss.
RUSS
No.
ANGEL
You’re not a tease, Russ. If you don’t let him kiss you again that’s what he’ll think.
RUSS
Charlie ... my hand.
CHARLIE
May I kiss you again?
RUSS
Oh, all right, but remember what I said.
ANGEL
Unclench your teeth you fool. Let him in. Do it!
RUSS
Ok, but I may not be able to control myself. When I got close before I could smell him. My hormones … remember?
ANGEL
And?
RUSS
I liked it.
ANGEL
Here he comes. Now be generous. Good boy. Now wasn’t that nice?
RUSS
His eyes are really beautiful and he’s not forcing his tongue. He’s very gentle.
ANGEL
OK, that’s enough. Pull away! RUSS!
CHARLIE
Thank you.
RUSS
You’re welcome. My hand, please?
CHARLIE
Oh, yeah.
INT. RUSS’ APARTMENT. DAY.
Two weeks go by – no call from Charlie.
ANGEL
It’s your own fault.
RUSS
But, I was right.
ANGEL
About what?
RUSS
He’s just a hit and run kind of guy.
ANGEL
Maybe.
RUSS
It was better to end it before it turned into a disaster.
ANGEL
Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
RUSS
Oh, shut up! Do you think he’ll come back?”
ANGEL
Not very likely. Would you?
RUSS
Probably not. Now, what the fuck do I do?”
ANGEL
Take two valium and don’t call me in the morning.
RUSS
Very funny.
ANGEL
Your phone is about to ring.
RUSS
What? Oh, my God. [Phone rings]
RUSS
Hello.
CHARLIE
Russ?
RUSS
Charlie?
CHARLIE
How are you?
RUSS
I’m okay. How are you? Where are you? I’m getting feedback. Sounds like you’re in a tunnel.
CHARLIE
I’m in Prague.
RUSS
Prague? That’s cool. How’s the weather.
ANGEL
I’m waiting to see how stupid this conversation gets. How’s the weather … give me a break?
RUSS
Fuck off.
CHARLIE
It’s very nice here. It’s midnight and I’m about to retire.
RUSS
Ah, it’s noon here … time difference. So, why are you calling?
CHARLIE
I’m flying back tomorrow.
RUSS
I don’t envy you. It’s a long trip. I don’t care for flying that much.
CHARLIE
I’m stopping off in New York for a day, then heading back to L.A. the day after.
RUSS
Charlie, you didn’t call to explain your itinerary. What’s going on?
CHARLIE
[Pause]
RUSS
Charlie ... This is your dime. Talk to me.
CHARLIE
Can you meet me in L.A? We can drive back to San Francisco along the coast. I have a small place in Shell Beach. We could stop there.
RUSS
He’s got to be kidding.
ANGEL
I don’t think so. He sounds sad and not very sure of himself.
RUSS
No way am I going to LA. What is he – nuts?
ANGEL
Why don’t you give him a chance, idiot?
RUSS
A chance for what?
ANGEL
To do what you said you wanted to do to him.
RUSS
That isn’t funny.
CHARLIE
Russ?
RUSS
Yeah, I’m here. Charlie, that’s a real nice offer but I can’t get away. I’m hoi polloi, remember. I work 9-5 and I can’t afford such a luxury right now.
ANGEL
You’re such a liar. You can afford it. Do it, you lame brained idiot. This may be your last chance for love.
CHARLIE
I can arrange for your passage.
RUSS
What’s in L.A.?
CHARLIE
We have an office there and I have to stop for a partner meeting.
RUSS
Just out of curiosity, who do you work for?
CHARLIE
Winston and Strawn.
RUSS
A law firm, no doubt?
CHARLIE
Yes.
RUSS
Are you a partner?
CHARLIE
I’m going to be. That’s what the meeting is about.
RUSS
So, it will be Winston, Strawn, and Costa.
CHARLIE
No, that’s not how it works.
RUSS
Do they know you’re gay?
CHARLIE
Well, yeah. Sort of.
RUSS
What does that mean?
CHARLIE
It’s never been discussed.
RUSS
Why am I even talking to him?
ANGEL
Because you’re lonely … and desperate. Hello.
RUSS
Charlie, thanks for the offer, but I don’t think so. As I said the last time we met. You outclass me. Makes me uncomfortable. I’d always be fighting with myself to live up to your standards. I don’t want to do that. I’m very comfortable with who I am.
CHARLIE
Russ...
RUSS
No, Charlie. I don’t understand why you’re so persistent. You’ve got the world by the tail. You’re drop-dead gorgeous, smart, well-educated and probably moneyed. You could have anyone you wanted. Why me for God’s sake? And besides, you don’t know anything about me. I could be your next frog. Then what? You’d dump me and move on? No thanks.
ANGEL
Brilliant maestro. Dig that hole a little deeper and you’ll disappear altogether.
CHARLIE
That’s not true, Russ. I know more about you than you think.
RUSS
One dinner does not constitute knowing me better.
CHARLIE
I’m friends with Hank and Jerry.
RUSS
Oh, my God. I don’t believe it. Did they put you up to this?
CHARLIE
No, it’s not like that. They’re just trying to help.
RUSS
Help? What do you mean, ‘help’?
CHARLIE
They told me all about you … how lonely you are. It seemed like a good match.
RUSS
For who? Goddamit! I don’t believe they did this.
CHARLIE
You’re angry. I shouldn’t have told you. I’m sorry.
RUSS
Go fuck yourself!
He disconnects.
ANGEL
Beautiful. You can go to the head of the class of unbelievable bozos. Hope you’re proud of yourself you pathetic fool.
RUSS
Oh, God. I can’t believe I just did that.
ANGEL
Well, you did. So you can cross that prince charming off of your list of potential husbands.
RUSS
What list? My card is empty. No one wants to dance with me.
ANGEL
Gee, what a surprise. If you have any widow’s weeds, I suggest you put them on.
RUSS muses
I was cruel to Charlie and that’s not like me. How do I apologize?
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING. DAY.
Russ walksupstairs to entrance.
INT. APARTMENT OF HANK AND JERRY. DAY.
HANK
Jerry, look who’s here, Mr. Smooth.
RUSS
Hi, Hank.
HANK
Come on in.
RUSS
Hi, Jerry.
JERRY
I just got off the phone with Charlie.
RUSS
Oh, God.
JERRY
What happened between the two of you?
RUSS
I don’t know. I got scared and blew it.
JERRY
Scared of what?
RUSS
Everything. He took me to that French restaurant on Clement.
JERRY
The Chapeau?
RUSS
You know about that place?
JERRY
Yes, we eat there quite often.
RUSS
Jesus, I felt so out of place.
JERRY
Why for heaven’s sake?
RUSS
It was Charlie. He was so comfortable, spoke French so beautifully. I felt like a foreigner sitting with him.
JERRY
I got the feeling from our conversation a few minutes ago that he’s really hurting.
RUSS
I told him to go fuck himself.
JERRY
Well, that may have something to do with it. Why for heaven’s sake?
RUSS
I was afraid I’d turn out to be his frog and he’d dump me.
JERRY
That’s the most incredible reason for dumping someone I’ve ever heard. Hank and I can fix this. When’s he coming back?
RUSS
Tomorrow. He’s stopping in New York and then heading to LA for a meeting. He wanted me to meet him there and drive back. He mentioned Shell Beach.
JERRY
That’s right. He has a cottage there.
RUSS
What am I going to do? I feel like such an idiot.
JERRY
Well, you got that right. But I think we can fix that.
RUSS
How? I don’t think saying ‘I’m sorry’ will do it.
JERRY
That’s true, but ... if you show up in LA, you may still have a chance.
RUSS
I don’t know where he’s going. He mentioned his law firm. I’ve forgotten the name.
JERRY
Winston and Strawn.
RUSS
That’s it!
JERRY
I know where it’s located. Wait a minute. I’ll be right back.
RUSS
Where’s he going?
HANK
Probably to make a phone call
RUSS
For what?
HANK
To help fix it, jerk.
JERRY returns.
JERRY
OK, here’s the scoop. He’s arriving in LA on Wednesday, is staying at the Sheridan. The meeting is Thursday morning and he should be through by noon.
RUSS
What am I supposed to do?
JERRY
God, Russ, you really can be clueless sometimes.
ANGEL
I thought I was the only one who figured that out.
RUSS
Shut up!
JERRY
Get a plane ticket and stand in front of the law office like the pathetic fool you are and hope he doesn’t deck you when he comes out.
RUSS
I don’t know.
JERRY
Russ, we’ve known Charlie for a long time. He’s perfect for you.
RUSS
Why didn’t you tell me about him?
JERRY
I don’t know. Hank, why did we decide not to tell him?
HANK
When we found out you were stalking him.
RUSS
I wasn’t stalking him.
ANGEL
See, I was right after all.
HANK
The day we were in the park and you pointed him out, you said you were stalking him.
RUSS
Well, I didn’t mean that.
HANK
Anyway, once we knew you were on to him, we thought it would be more romantic if you discovered him on your own.
RUSS
Well, that didn’t work out very well.
JERRY
Sorry. But this will fix it. Now ... make a plane reservation.
Hands Russ a phone.
After the reservation is made, they tell Russ everything about Charlie’s past and present. His schooling and immigration to the U.S.A. How they met him and decided Russ was the perfect match for Charlie.
EXT. LAAIRPORT. DAY.
The plane arrives in morning.
EXT. LAW OFFICES, BUNKER HILL. DAY.
A little after 11 a.m., Russ steps out of a cab in front of Charlie’s law office. Standing outside is awkward so he enters the building and speaks with the receptionist.
INT. LAW OFFICES.RECEPTION.
RUSS
Good morning. My name is Martin and I’m looking for Mr. Costa.
RECEPTIONIST
Yes, Mr. Martin. I gave the message to Mr. Costa. He’s expecting you.
RUSS
Message?”
RECEPTIONIST
It was here when I came in this morning. I passed it on to him when he arrived. He should be finished with his meeting very soon. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable … would you like a coffee?
RUSS
No, no, I’m fine. Thank you.
RUSS
The message had to be from Hank and Jerry, trying to … fix it.
ANGEL
That was good of them.
RUSS
God only knows what his reaction was.
ANGEL
You’re about to find out … here they come.
A group of well-dressed men move down the stairs to reception. They are in good mood, laughing, shaking hands, patting Charlie on the back. Charlie sees Russ, excuses himself and walks up to Russ.
CHARLIE
Russ, I’m so happy to see you.
Russ senses tears in Charlie’s eyes.
RUSS
Hank and Jerry set me straight about everything. Can you forgive me?
CHARLIE
You bet your sweet ass I can. Come on, let’s go. Where’s your bag?
ANGEL
Sweet ass? That sounds encouraging.
RUSS
Right here.
CHARLIE
Wait just a sec. I have a couple of farewells I have to make and then we’ll be on our way. You are going back with me, right?
angel
Please don’t say - you bet your sweet ass I am.
RUSS
Thank you. I was just about to say that.
RUSS
Yes, Charlie, I am.
ANGEL
Listen to me and I’ll have you married before you know it.
EXT. DRIVING ALONG ROUTE 1 TO SHELL BEACH. DAY.
Russ and Charlie chat, putting the broken pieces together.
EXT. SHELL BEACH COTTAGE. DAY.
Sound of the roaring ocean as the pull into drive way. Cottage is bright yellow with purple trim. Old growth flowering bushes are well placed, adding charm. They approach the front door.
RUSS
Charlie.
CHARLIE
Yes.
RUSS
Please remember, I don’t do anything on my first date.
CHARLIE
Russ, we’ve already had our first date, remember.
RUSS
Oh, yeah. Right. [Grins]
CHARLIE
Come on in. Put your stuff down and we’ll go for a walk along the ocean.
EXT. BEACH. TWILIGHT.
They hold hands as they walk, watching the sun disappear over the horizon of the ocean.
CHARLIE
I was right, wasn’t I?
RUSS
About what?
CHARLIE
Knowing what I want and getting it.
Russ grips Charlie’s hand tighter.
RUSS
Yes, you were right.
RUSS
Thank you.
angel
For what?
RUSS
Being my guardian angel.
angel
My pleasure. Never a dull moment with you.
RUSS
[Chuckles]
CHARLIE
What’s so funny?
RUSS
My angel.
CHARLIE
I almost forgot about him.
RUSS
He thinks you’re an okay guy.
ANGEL
I didn’t say that.
RUSS
Hush!
CHARLIE
Is that right? Well, I am. Here, give this to him with my thanks.
Charlie kisses Russ on the cheek.
RUSS
No, I don’t think I will.
CHARLIE
Why not?
RUSS
I’m keeping that kiss all to myself, thank you.
CHARLIE
OK, [laughs]
Charlie bumps Russ.
RUSS
Again, please.
Charlie does it again.
CHARLIE
Tell me.
RUSS
Tell you what?
CHARLIE
Do you think I’m husband material?
RUSS
What do you think?
CHARLIE
I know what I think. I want to know what you think.
RUSS
Yeah, I think you are.
CHARLIE
Let’s go back to the cottage.
RUSS
Brilliant idea. I’ll race you.
CHARLIE
You’re on.
INT. COTTAGE KITCHEN. NIGHT.
They make coffee and sandwiches in the kitchen in silence, enjoyingeach other’s company.
Angel
Do you think he likes to cuddle?
RUSS
I don’t know. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. [Smiles]
CHARLIE
What are you smiling about, now, Mr. Martin?
RUSS
My angel asked me if you like to cuddle.
CHARLIE
What did you say?
RUSS
I said we’d have to wait and see.
CHARLIE
You can tell him it’s one of my all-time favorite things to do.
RUSS
Did you hear that?
angel
I did indeed. Are you going to ask him?
RUSS
Ask him what?
angel
To marry you, silly.
RUSS
Oh, my God. Am I supposed to do that?
angel
Why not. For goodness sake, don’t panic. I’m sorry I mentioned it.
RUSS
Charlie.
CHARLIE
Yes.
RUSS
I want to know something.
CHARLIE
Sure.
RUSS
Do you think I’m husband material?
Charlie stops dead in his tracks, comes around the counter, grabs Russ and wraps his arms around him so tight Russ gasps. He looks into Russ’ eyes with intensity, then kisses him tenderly with his eyes open.
CHARLIE
Does that answer your question?
RUSS
Yeah, it does.
They settle at the kitchen table enjoying their first meal together since the French restaurant.
RUSS
Will you do me a favor?
CHARLIE
Sure, anything.
RUSS
When we make love, will you speak only French?
ANGEL
My, my … you are such a romantic. I can hardly believe it.
CHARLIE
Je peusdifficilementattendre. [Breaks into wide grin.]
[I can hardly wait.]
RUSS
Is that a yes?
CHARLIE
[Laughs] You bet it is. Would you like me to teach you French?
RUSS
No, but I’d like to learn.
CHARLIE
I can help find the right tutor.
RUSS
Really?
CHARLIE
You don’t get it, do you?
RUSS
I’m not sure what you mean.
CHARLIE
I want to be there for you in every way possible.
RUSS
I don’t know what to say.
angel
Thank God. Now, keep quiet. He knows what he’s doing.
CHARLIE
Hey, about those little nothings your Angel whispers in your ear.
RUSS
What about them?
CHARLIE
Are they naughty or nice?
RUSS
[Laughs out loud] Naughty. Very naughty.
the end
Posted: 02/16/18