“Who are you?”

“I’m the Sandman.”

“Oh, really. And what’s your first name pray tell?”

“Pray tell? My first name is Clyde, and be very careful.”

“Clyde Sandman? You’re kidding?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? Smart-ass.”

“Cute. Are you ‘the’ Sandman?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Are you the Sandman who can bring me the man of my dreams?”

“Depends.”

“On What?”

“Can you sing: bung, bung, bung, bung…?”

“Do I have to?”

“No, just thought I’d ask.”

“Who’s the smart-ass now?”

“Humm, point taken. Now, let’s get down to business.”

“Yes, let’s.”

“I’ve got a couple of gents lined up which may be of interest to you.”

“Wonderful.”

“Do they have to be the cutest that you’ve ever seen?”

“That would be nice, but not necessary. But I don’t want one that looks like a mud fence.”

“In the dark, does it matter?”

“I have a photographic memory so, yes it matters. How long is this gonna take?”

“Do you want a dream or don’t you?”

“Yes, I want a dream. I’ve had a few nightmares lately and don’t want any repeats.”

“Lips like roses and clover will have to be optional?”

“Why is that?”

“When’s the last time you saw anyone with lips like that?”

“Got it.”

“I’ve already told these dudes their lonesome nights are over.”

“Good. Glad to hear it. Don’t forget I’m pretty lonely — don’t have nobody to call my own. So, when are you gonna turn on your magic beam?”

“My what?”

“Your magic beam.”

“Oh, that.”

“Isn’t that how you’re gonna bring him to me? And be sure to tell him I’m not a rover.”

“Well, according to this report, that’s not entirely true.”

“Where did you get that?”

“I have my ways. According to this, you’re a borderline slut.”

“That’s a false report. I never did any of that stuff.”

“I thought I’d seen everything, but according to this, your creativity is above average — way above average. The note says you’re a very naughty boy. There’s also a suggestion here that you can be downright dirty at times.” 

“So?”

“This one on line 24. Can you really do that?” 

“Well, yes, but I have to really like the guy.”

“Do you like me?”

“You?”

“Yes, me. Do you see anyone else standing here?”

“But, you’re the Sandman.”

“So? I can be warm, and my heart is lonely like Pagliacci.”

“But you don’t have wavy hair like Liberace.”

“Balding men are considered very viral?”

“By whom?”

“A lot of people. Me being one of them.”

“Are you able to give me a ‘come-hither’ gleam?

“How’s this?”

“Not bad, but it needs work.”

“Keep in mind, I’m someone you can hold.”

“True.”

“I guess it depends on how desperate you are to hold someone.”

“I’ll give you that one — I’m verging on desperation.”

“And I do have the magic beam.”

“Yeah, I almost forgot about that. Can I see your magic beam?”

“Play your cards right and that may happen.”

“So, how do I play my cards right?”

“You have to sing: bung, bung, bung, bung.”

“Oh god, is that necessary?”

“Do you want to see my magic beam or not?”

“Ok, ok, ok.  Let me practice first.”

“Ok, go ahead.”

“B, B, B, B, B, UNG, UNG, UNG”

“I’m waiting.”

“Ok, here goes — BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG.”

“That was very beautiful.”

“Thank you. Can I see it now?”

“Ok. Stand back.”

“Oh, my god. Forget the dream. Your place or mine?”

“How about right here?

“Sounds peachy to me. Oh, Sandman. You really are a dream. Do you have any ropes handy?”

“I do, and I know how to use them.”

“I was kind of thinking I’d like to use them on you.”

“Hey, kinky. You are a naughty boy.”

“Are you into leather?”

“I like the smell of it.”

“I’m wearing some. Wait just a minute. There. What do you think? Sandman? Are you all right? Clyde? Clyde baby, wake up.”

Oops, guess I came on too strong, again. That’s okay, I’ll have him tied up and ready to play before he comes to. First, I have to get his clothes off. Oh, my god, he’s beautiful, but those BVDs have to go. I have a pair of boxers he’ll love. And then BANG, BANG, BANG. I mean BUNG, BUNG, BUNG.

This is just the beginning, oh, boy.

Posted: 08/25/17