Love Is Where You Find It
 by: Hankster

© 2008 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

“I’m flattered,” I said, “but that’s confusing.  How about if I call you Pop, and you can call me Son.”  After that I had a dad and a pop and they both had a son.

Brad was silent through all of this.  He was usually very upbeat and buoyant and his silence confused me.  On the way back to his apartment he said, “You know how jealous I am.  I want so much to be a part of your family.”

“Please Brad,” I literally pleaded.  “I like you a lot, but please don’t pressure me.”

Chapter 5

On Sunday, Brad and I made love all afternoon in my apartment, but I asked him to go home and get a good night’s sleep.  He needed to open the store, and I had to be at work by 6:00 AM the next morning before the store opened.

I was lying in bed and brooding.  I had not heard from Carl all weekend.  It was three hours later in Ft. Lauderdale and I thought it was too late to call, but I vowed to call his hotel first thing in the morning.  Given the time difference it would be just the right time to call.

It was 5:30 AM on the west coast when I called.  The desk clerk informed me that Carl Gilmore had checked out.  I was confused.  The cruise line was paying for all his expenses, and he was supposed to stay there until his casts were removed.  If Carl had a cell phone, I didn’t know the number.

On my first break of the morning, I called the Burger King where Carl worked.  I asked if anyone there had heard from him, and I was informed that they didn’t expect him back for another few weeks.  I was beside myself with worry.  Brad could see how agitated I was and he wanted to know what was wrong.

“Nothing!” I snapped at him, and he backed off.  Somehow I got through the day.  Brad wanted to take me home, but I told him that I didn’t want any company today, and he reluctantly left me and went home.  He looked so terribly sad, and I didn’t even care.

When I got home, I found a letter slipped under my door.  I could see that it was registered and a return receipt had been requested.  My landlord had signed the receipt.  I saw immediately that it was from Carl and I ripped it open.  As I did so, something fell out of the envelope and on to the floor.  It was a key.

I began to read:

Hi Aaron:

It should not come as a surprise to you that Jorge and I have something special going on here.  I am checking out of the hotel and moving in with him.  I will not be returning to San Francisco. 

This morning I called my landlord’s rental agent and authorized him to get a mover to pack up the stuff in my apartment and move it down to Florida.  I am on a month to month tenancy and I sent him two months rent with my notice.  The movers were instructed that they will be paid at the other end.

I am enclosing the key to my car.  I would appreciate it if you would find it on my parking lot.  The registration is in the glove compartment.  It’s a 1997 blue Chevy with plates CRT23FX.  Take it to any used car dealer and get what you can for it.  If you can’t sell it, just abandon it.  If you do sell it, keep the money for your effort.

My address here is: c/o Jorge Rodriguez, 1793 NW 23 Ave, Apt. 2B, Ft. Lauderdale FL 33043.  The phone number is 954-555-5833.

Just to fill you in on what has been happening.  I am buying a condo for cash.  It’s right on the ocean in an upscale strip called Galt Ocean Drive.  I stole it for $425,000.00.  I figure furnishings will be another $50,000.00.  As soon as the deal goes through, I’ll send you the address and the telephone number.  Of course, Jorge will be moving in with me.  I also bought me some wheels.  It’s a 2009 Jaguar two seater, convertible sports car.  That set me back $89,000, but what a beauty.  Jorge and I went on a shopping spree and we both look like Palm Beach money.  As soon as my casts are off, we are going on an eighteen day cruise.  How cool is that?  Oh yes, Jorge quit his job.

When I get all settled down in the condo, I’ll contact you again.  Maybe you can visit us sometime.  We can have those great old three ways.  Hugs, Carl

I was stunned.  I started to cry.  It was quite possible that I would never see Carl again.  I cried for at least an hour and didn’t have any dinner.  At about 8 PM the phone rang.  It was Brad.  I told him that I couldn’t talk to anyone just now and to please leave me alone.  I knew that I had wounded him and I couldn’t stop myself.  I would have hurt him more if I could, but I just hung up on him.  I didn’t want Brad in my life and why couldn’t he see that?

I fell asleep curled up in a fetal position, crying like a baby.  I was awakened some time later by the harsh sound of my door bell.  I was groggy but looked at the clock hanging over my sink.  In the moonlight, which filled the room, I could see that it was a minute before midnight.

“Who is it?” I asked sounding drunk.  I wished I was drunk.

“It’s Brad.  Open up.  I’m really worried about you.”

“Go away.  I don’t want to see you, ever again.”

He began to bang on my door.  “You’d better open up.  I’m just going to stand here and bang on your door until I wake up every one of your neighbors.”

Reluctantly, I opened the door.  He rushed in, closed the door, and tried to embrace me.  I turned my face away from him.

“Who hurt you like this?” he asked.  “I’ll kill him.”

“Fat chance,” I said.  “He’s in Florida.  Believe me if he was here, I’d kill him myself.”

Suddenly I started to cry again.  “I’m such a fucking fool,” I said.  “I knew he had no feelings for me beyond having sex with me, but I kept hoping.”

“There is someone I didn’t know about?” Brad asked me, sounding sad and stunned at the same time.  He got up to leave, but I grabbed his arm. 

“Please stay,” I begged.  “I really need a friend right now.  I should actually be talking to Larry and Chuck, but I have no wheels and it’s too late to call them.”

Brad sat down on my bed and his head dropped almost to his knees.  I took Carl’s letter from the kitchen table and sat down next to Brad.  “Here, read this,” I said to him.

As he read, Brad’s face got more confused.  “I don’t understand,” he said.  “You told me that Carl was your hospital room mate and nothing more.  If he manages a Burger King, where is he getting all this money from?  And who is this Jorge who has apparently stolen him from you?  You have to fill me in.”

I lay down on my bed.  Brad was sitting on the edge and I did not invite him to lie down with me.  I was surprised because I wanted him next to me desperately, but it just didn’t seem right at the moment.  Still, I needed to do something to show him that I did care for him so I took his hand in mine.

“It’s a long story,” I told him.  “Are you sure you have the time?”

Then Brad said something which sounded very harsh but so wonderful at the same time.  “I love you, you idiot.  Whatever time represents the rest of my life, it’s available to you.”

I was really touched and I mumbled, “Thank you.”

“Now talk,” he said and he began to stroke my hair.

“I was in and out of consciousness for about the first week after the accident.  As I began to heal and as they began to remove the drainage tubes, the doctor ordered that the nurses get me out of bed and start walking me around.  Jorge was my evening nurse.  One evening he got me out of bed.  I was exhausted immediately, and he sat me on a chair between my bed and Carl’s.  I was dozing off when Carl took my hand and placed it on his cock.  He indicated that he would like me to masturbate him.  It was the first time I had ever felt another man’s cock and when he came, it made quite a mess.  I wiped it up as best I could.   Later that night, when the lights were out, I worked my way out of bed and stood at Carl’s bedside.  He gave me my first blow job and it was wonderful.

“Then Jorge entered the picture.  He was our evening nurse.  When he gave me my first shower, he played with me and got me off and later on, he and Carl sat at the edge of Carl’s bed and they taught me how to give them each blow jobs.  When we were discharged, Carl was placed in a hotel until his casts would be removed and the doctors said he could fly home.  Instead of coming straight home, I spent three days with Carl.  Occasionally Jorge joined us in a three way.  Looking back on it now, I did usually feel like a third wheel.”

Brad was silent when I stopped talking, but then he said, “Carl didn’t ever love you, honey.  Obviously he was falling for Jorge.  You were a convenient boy toy.”

“I know,” I said.  “Compared to you, he has no character at all.  Yet I fell in love and I couldn’t shake him.  I simply pushed you aside, because I wanted him so badly.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t love you.  I love Carl and I know what love feels like.”

I could tell that Brad was hurt.  He got off the bed and sat on a chair. 

“Tell me about the money,” he said.

So I told him about the settlement, and what steps I had taken to protect my assets.  “That’s how I met Larry,” I told Brad.  “He’s managing my money.”

“You’re rich,” Brad gasped.

“Yes,” I said.  “I’m rich.  But I don’t want to use any of it except to make life a little easier.  I want to move to a real apartment and buy a car.  That’s all I want for right now.”

Brad got up and sat next to me again.  “Do you realize that Carl has pissed away most of the settlement.  Settlements for physical injuries are not taxable, or else he wouldn’t even have enough left to pay the federal and state income taxes.”

“How do you know that?” I asked in amazement.

“I’ve been taking courses on line for a few years now.  I expect to get my bachelor’s degree in accounting soon.  I might even get to be a CPA someday.  Being a regional director for Wendy’s is great, but I want more.”

“Do you think I could do something like that?”  I asked.  I am a high school graduate.

Brad gave me his beautiful smile.  “Now that’s something I can help you with.  I’ll help you get started on college courses on line.  Wait, that’s silly.  You can afford to quit working and go back to school.”

“No,” I said.  “I want to work.  I need to work.  I’ll do it your way.”

“Are we cool?” Brad asked.

“Yeah, we are ice cold,” I answered him.

“Could we start all over?  If we start from scratch, maybe I can win your heart,” Brad said.  I didn’t want to comment on that statement.

“It’s really late,” I said.  “I think you should spend the night.  He undressed quickly and crawled into my small bed with me.  He nested against me with his arm around me, and I was aware that his cock was limp.  We fell asleep that way.  Brad was comforting me, and neither of us had any thoughts of sex, at least not just then.

Brad left about 4 AM to go home, shower and get ready for work.  When I arrived at work, we smiled at each other.  I thought that Brad was the kindest guy in the world, but still, love seemed to elude me.

We had lunch together as was becoming our habit.  At lunch I told him that Carl lived in his building, and that I would appreciate if he drove me there after work so I could find his car.  When we got there, it wasn’t hard to find Carl’s car.  There was an empty space next to it and Brad parked there.  We both got out of Brad’s car.  I unlocked the Chevy and Brad and I got in.

I put the key in the ignition and turned it.  The first time the car sputtered and didn’t ignite, but on the second attempt the motor roared to attention. 

“Let’s test drive it,” I said, and backed slowly out of the parking lot.  The car was old, but it was all souped up.  Obviously Carl had done a lot of work on it.  I drove it around the neighborhood for awhile and then put it back in the parking lot.

“This car is great,” I declared.  “Brad can you give me a few hours off tomorrow?  I can work the night shift if you want.  I’d like to take the car to a mechanic and if it passes inspection, I’d like to get the registration changed to me.”

“Sure thing,” he said.  “We’ll manage without you for a few hours.  I think that’s a good idea.  You said that you wanted to buy a car, and this one’s an old fashioned beauty.”

“I have another idea.  It’s not 5 PM yet.  Do you think there’s anyone in the rental office?”

“We can find out.  What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe I can rent Carl’s apartment.  It’s just like yours.  He’s one floor below you.”

“Well, I don’t think I can talk you into moving in with me so it would be great having you under me.”  He laughed at his double entendre.

As it turned out the manager of the complex was just getting ready to leave for the day, but he was glad to talk to a potential tenant.  I told him that I was a friend of Carl Gilmore.  Carl had informed me of his intention to move, and I wondered if I could rent his apartment.

“The manager thought the idea was good, but he seemed dubious about my ability to pay until Brad vouched for me.

“OK,” the manager said.  The rent is $900 a month.  I’ll require a security deposit of $900 and first and last month’s rent.  I’ll prepare a one year lease.  The movers are coming the day after tomorrow and I’ll need a week to get the place ready.  You can move in on December 20^th if that’s all right.  You should be all settled by Christmas.”

I shook his hand and agreed to come by at 4:30 PM the day after tomorrow to sign all the papers.  My life was moving fast.  Tomorrow I had to give my landlord notice as well as seeing to the car.  I knew I would have to pay January’s rent because of the one month notice rule, but it took me awhile to realize that it was merely pocket change.

When we left the manager’s office, Brad threw his arms around me and said, “Welcome neighbor.  This is going to be so great.  We can car pool to work.”  He hesitated before going on.  “I don’t suppose you would like to spend the night with me?”

“Brad,” I said. “You need to give me time to get over Carl.  Let’s compromise.  Let’s go to some good restaurant to celebrate my new apartment, but after that I’ll drive myself home in my new used car.”

Brad could do nothing but nod.  It turned out that we had a great evening.  Brad was aware that he wasn’t going to get anything this evening, and I wasn’t under any pressure to give anything, so we were both thoroughly relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company.  It seemed to me that it was easier being Brad’s friend than falling in love with him.  I remembered that some of the great love affairs throughout history started as friendships or feudships, and I wondered if our friendship could lead to love.  Why couldn’t I fall in love with Brad?  Whatever the reason, it eluded me.

The first thing the next morning found me at a mechanic whom Brad had recommended.  He was so thrilled with the car, he wanted to buy it.  That was good enough for me.  Then I went to the MVB with Carl’s letter and the registration.  I really lucked out here.  The young clerk I finally got to see was obviously gay.  He spotted me also, and was willing to accept Carl’s letter to be a conveyance of the car to me as a gift.  He transferred the title for a dollar to make it legal and gave me a new registration.  When he handed me the registration, he included his card with it.  I seriously thought of calling him, but a vision of Carl passed through my brain and I thrust his card in my pocket.  I wondered if I would ever love again.

I drove my car to the bank and waited about a half hour, until I was able to see Larry.  I told him about the car and the apartment.  He was thrilled about my getting the car free and he had the bank transfer $2,700 from my money market account to my checking account so that I could pay for the rent and security deposit.  Before I left, I told Larry that I would have him and Chuck for dinner as soon as I was settled.

“That reminds me,” Larry said.  “You’re invited to our place for New Year’s Eve.  We are just having a few intimate friends over.  You are always welcome to bring a friend.”

“Right now I don’t have anyone I’d care to spend New Year’s Eve with other than you and Pop.”

Disappointment covered Larry’s face.  “Please give that careful thought,” he said as we kissed goodbye. 

I thought about it for a long time.  I reached into my pocket and carefully removed the card the guy at the MVB had given to me.  I placed it in my wallet, and then I went to work.  It was only 11 o’clock.  I agreed with Brad that I would finish this shift and work the second.  Right after Brad left, I called Gerald Thompson, the name on the card.  When I reminded him who I was, he agreed immediately to go to the party with me.  I made a date to go to his apartment the next evening after I gave my check to the rental agent at my new apartment.

The next evening, I went to the rental office and exchanged my check for copies of the lease agreement.  From there I went to Gerry’s apartment.  He greeted me in his underwear, and in minutes we were in bed together.  I enjoyed the sex with him but didn’t care to stay the night.  I made some excuse and took off.  Before I left, I told him that I would pick him up at 9:00 PM on New Year’s Eve.

“That’s almost two weeks off,” he reminded me.  Won’t I see you sooner?”

“Probably,” I mumbled.  “I’ll call.”

Everything I did after that caused Brad’s face to register horrible pain, and I got a perverse thrill out of inflicting that pain.  Was I crazy or what?  Maybe I should see a shrink.  After that, I turned down every invitation Brad offered me.  When he asked me out for New Year’s Eve I told him I had a date.  The next day he called in sick.  I exulted in the fact that I had made him sick.  I was truly out of my mind.

The next morning at approximately 10 AM,  everything began to spin around me.  I lost the ability to stand up and I yelled Brad’s name.  He came running and he caught me, just before I collapsed.

To be continued...

Posted: 11/21/08