The Transplanted Heart
 by: Hankster

© 2009 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 6

Jimmy assumed his duties the very next day, and within a month Darryl and William planned a much needed vacation.  They were going to England for a month to visit William’s family.

Roger and Jimmy fell into a happy routine.  Every Sunday after church, they met at their favorite restaurant for lunch.  It never failed that several of Jimmy’s flock came over to say hello.  The restaurant was in the heart of the gay section of town and was gay owned and operated.  Never in his old life had any of Jimmy’s congregation ever greeted him outside of the church.  He delighted in these greetings and he could feel Robbie embracing him.

Jimmy was happy and content.  Everything he had missed in his life was finally his; love, acceptance, friends, and a great sex life.  Every night before going to bed, he and Roger recited a prayer that they had jointly written extolling God for the multitude of gifts He had given them.  Every night Robbie joined them in prayer.

One Friday evening just as they were cleaning up after dinner, the phone rang.  Jimmy answered.

“Pastor Roger, please,” a familiar voice requested.  Jimmy searched his memory bank, but could not place the voice.

“It’s for you,” he told Roger and handed him the phone.

“Hello,” Roger said.  “Can I help you?”

The voice on the other end of the phone identified himself only as Matthew.  He said that he attended Roger’s church, and Roger strained to remember him.

“I spoke to your friend, the other gay pastor, a few weeks ago, but I really need to talk to you, Roger.  I’m so confused and I need your guidance.”

“Of course,” Roger said.  “Can you meet me at the church tomorrow morning, say about 10 AM?”

“Yes, that will be wonderful.  Thank you so much.  I’ll be there.”

After he hung up, Roger said to Jimmy, “The young man said that his name is Matthew and he spoke to you a few weeks ago.”  The bell went off in Jimmy’s head.

“Of course, he’s the young man with the sexual orientation problem.  I asked him to let us know how it played out, but this doesn’t sound good.”

“I never had a problem with my sexual orientation, so you’re the one better able to advise him than I.  Stay close to your cell phone tomorrow in case I need you,” Roger requested.

“Will do!” Jimmy promised, and he kissed Roger softly on the lips.

That night as they prepared for bed, and before making love, they offered their private prayer to God.  This time they added a little wish for Matthew’s well being.

At precisely 10 AM the next morning there was a knock on Roger’s door.  Matthew did not look familiar to him at all.  Roger knew that there were always people at the service who ran out quickly, just as it was concluding.  They never waited to shake hands with the minister.  He could not fathom why they needed to maintain such anonymity.

The two men shook hands and Roger beckoned him to a chair facing his desk.  As soon as Matthew was seated, Roger smiled at him as if to say, “You can begin now,” but Matthew remained silent so Roger said, “Pastor Winningham filled me in on your conversation with him.  Are you still hanging out with your friend?”

“Yes.”  Matthew grew silent again.

“And?” Roger asked.

“He tells me he loves me and wants to have sex with me.”

“How do you feel about him?”

“I’m confused.  I think about him all the time, but I don’t think I could have sex with him.”

“Then you must be straight,” Roger averred.

“I don’t know.  I had an opportunity to have sex with my sister’s girlfriend the other night, and I ran away.  I didn’t think I could get aroused, and she’s really beautiful.”

“Gee Matt, it sounds to me like you are a virgin, and probably need a sex therapist, not me.”

“I know, and I intend to go if necessary, but I wanted to ask you a few questions first.”

“I’ll try to answer them as honestly as I can,” Roger said reassuringly.  Silently he asked Robbie to show up and guide him.

“Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality?” Matthew asked.

“No.”

“Did you ever have fears about sleeping with a male?”

“Of course, but it didn’t stop me.  I actively sought out men to sleep with.  I went to the bars.  Finally I met a nice guy and lost my virginity.”

“Did you ever want to sleep with a woman?”

“Not really.  I admit to being curious, but I have never done it.  Look, my partner had all kinds of confusion with his sexual orientation, but when we met, he couldn’t wait to jump into bed with me.  He was confused and scared, but he wanted to do it, and he did.  Maybe you just don’t have strong enough feelings for your friend.”

“Maybe that’s it.”

“Have you ever met a man or a woman that you did desire to have sex with?” Roger asked the question this time.

“Oh yes.”

“Was it a man or a woman?”

“A man!”

“There you go,” Roger said.  “You must be gay.  Was the man gay?  Did you ever tell him how you felt?”

“He was gay and I never told him.”

“Maybe you should tell him.”

“He has a partner.  I’m afraid, he would reject me.”

“My partner and I are monogamous, but there are many gay couples who have an open relationship.  Do you know if he’s monogamous?”

“Yes, he is.”

“How do you know?” 

“He just told me.”

Roger was stunned. In fact he was speechless.  His mind was working overtime.  If this could happen to him, imagine how many gay men could fall in love with Jimmy in the gay church.  Roger was actually shaking, but he felt Robbie’s presence reassuring him.  You can handle this.

He went over to Matthew and put his arms around him.  “Matthew,” he said, “This sounds bad, but it’s really good.  We have learned so much.”

“What have we learned?” Matthew asked.  “That I love you?”

“No, that you think you love me.  My boy, the important thing that we have learned is that you are gay.  It’s not uncommon to think you are in love with your doctor, your teacher, or your minister.  It’s puppy love, and you must move on.  I’m not available, but your friend is, and he’s in love with you.  Give him a break.  At your age you have strong sexual urges.  Let your friend satisfy them.  Once you have made love with him, you’ll see how much you two care for each other.”

“Are you advising me to have sex with my friend?” Matthew asked.

“Not at all.  I am advising you to make love with him if you want to.  You can have sex with anyone, but you only make love to a special someone.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you,” Matthew said.

“You didn’t embarrass me, but I want you to stay in touch with me and let me know what happens.  I also want you to greet me and shake my hand after services.  Promise?  Does your friend attend church with you?”

“No, he goes to the gay church and has been urging me to go there.  I kept saying no because I needed to see you and I wasn’t sure I was gay.”

“I think it would be a good idea if you did go there,” Roger said sincerely.  “My feelings would not be hurt.  It might be good for you not to see me for awhile and attending church together might bring you and your friend closer together.”

“Do you know the minister there?  Is he as wise and compassionate as you?”

“Yes, I know the pastor and the assistant pastor there, and they are both very wise and compassionate.”

Matthew rose slowly from his chair, and Roger expected a handshake but the lad ran from Roger’s office without saying another word.

When Matthew was gone, Roger slumped in his chair.  He knew he couldn’t do another stitch of work that day, and he was grateful that his sermon for tomorrow was written, edited and approved by Jimmy.  They had taken to advising each other on their sermons.

He knew that Jimmy would still be in his office, but he rushed home and decided to make lunch for the two of them.  He called Jimmy just to make sure that he was available for lunch.  Jimmy answered and assured him that he would be home within the hour.

Roger’s brain was working overtime.  He was in turmoil.  Then he remembered something.  He called his college friend, Alex, who taught high school social studies.  Alex’s wife answered, and after a few words of greeting, she put Alex on.

Without any preliminaries, Roger asked, “How do you handle students who get a crush on you?”

“Are you nuts?” Alex asked.  “I ignore it.  The crush always passes.”

“What if they come and tell you that they have a crush on you?” 

“I tell them that this is inappropriate behavior, and I am going to report them to their parents and the principal.”

“You’re no help,” Roger informed Alex.

“Why not?”

“One of my congregants has a crush on me.  He told me so.  Because of that, he can’t pursue a relationship with his boyfriend.  He’s of legal age, and I   can’t report him to anyone.”

“Have bad sex with him.  He’ll appreciate his boyfriend,” Alex joked.

“That won’t work either.  He has never had sex with his boyfriend or anyone else so he can’t compare.”

“Then send him to a sex therapist,” Alex advised.

“I’ve already recommended that to him.”

“Then ask Jimmy for advice.  Something like this should be right up his alley.”

“You’re right,” Roger said.  “And guess what?  The boyfriend goes to Jimmy’s church.”

“OY!” Alex groaned and hung up.

When Jimmy got home, Roger did not hesitate to lay out the whole dilemma.  All Jimmy could say is, “I wonder which of my guys it is?”

“That’s not helpful,” Roger said.

“I know.  Let’s discuss the problem over lunch.  For what it’s worth I’ve got a crush on you too.”  Jimmy gave Roger a crushing bear hug.  They both heard Robbie laughing.

Stop laughing and help us out here, Roger thought, and he hoped Robbie got the message.

To be continued...

Posted: 09/04/09