Part One

I must have been about eleven years old the first time I fucked a guy.  I was transported to heaven.  And then, immediately after that, he fucked me.  I left heaven, and went to Paradise.  Jared and I were best friends, and we are still friends in our middle years.  However, we are not lovers anymore.  Jared has a wife and a lot of kids, and at forty-one, I am still seeking Mr. Right.  Don’t cry for me.  I have plenty of sex, but I want more, I want love.  My brother is living with his beloved, and so is my father.  I still live alone.

Jared kept me in Paradise for a number of years, and then when I was about fifteen, my brother Rob, introduced me to more sophisticated adult male sex.  Rob and I shared a bedroom with twin beds.  We were preparing to go to sleep on his seventeenth birthday, when he told me he wanted to celebrate his big event with me.  I was honored.  Rob got naked and told me to strip also.  He climbed into bed with me, enveloped me in his nearly mature arms, and gave me my first blow job.  I thought that Paradise was better than ever, but then I went down on him, and I was swooshed into the stratosphere.

On my eighteenth birthday, my father asked Rob and me to join him in the living room.  My mother had died of leukemia two years earlier, and Rob and I knew he was dating.  He never brought his dates home, but many nights he didn’t come home, and we assumed that he was having an overnight with some lovely woman.  We were delighted for him.

Dad hesitated, hemmed a bit, and looking at us both straight in our eyes, he said, “I have a confession to make to you two guys.” 

I almost blurted out that it was great with us if he remarried, but something told me to shut up.  My brother managed to say, “Sure, Dad.  Whatever it is, we love you.”

Dad laughed.  “You’re not far off, Rob.  It’s something like that; about love, I mean.  I know that you two great sons of mine are fucking the energy out of each other.”

Rob and I gasped, and turned white.  I’m not sure what Rob was thinking, but I wanted to kill myself.  Obviously, my dad noted our discomfort.  “Relax,” he said, “I totally approve.”

I would have liked to have asked, “You do?” but I was speechless.  In fact the room grew deadly silent and my father continued.

“Now here’s my confession,” he said.  He was smiling, so I knew it wasn’t a bad thing.  “I’m gay,” he continued.  “I always have been gay, and I suppose I always will be gay.  I loved your mother, and I married her thinking I could safely function in the straight world.  It’s not that easy.  I was tortured with yearning to be with a man.  I swear, boys, I never cheated on your mother while she lived, but after she died, I started to go to gay bars.  I met lots of guys, and I scored often.”

Rob interrupted.  “Of course you did, Dad,” he blurted out.  “You’re really hot.”

“Let me go on,” Dad pleaded.  “Then I found myself being exclusive with one man.  His name is Sam.  We’ve fallen in love, and I’ve asked him to move in with us.  He lives alone now, but he hesitated to make the move.  When I told him that you were both gay, he changed his mind, and he’ll be moving in as soon as it can be arranged.  All we want, or need, is your blessing.”

I was mute, but Rob jumped up, and embraced my father.  “Of course you have our blessing,” he said for both of us.  “When will we meet him?”

“I assumed I’d get your approval so I made arrangements for the four of us to have dinner out tomorrow evening.”

I finally found my tongue.  “That’s fantastic.”

“Now,” Dad said, “I think we should all celebrate.  Why don’t you two hunks invite me into your bed tonight?”

My dad is a gorgeous specimen of manhood, and I have always had the hots for him.  His invitation left my head spinning.  Thank goodness Rob agreed for both of us again.  Actually, we made a dash for Dad’s bed.  It was king-sized.

We three made love all through the night.  I was no longer in the stratosphere.  When I fucked my father, I ascended into outer space, but when he fucked me, I shot into another galaxy.  We three loved each other to the exclusion of all others, including my father’s boyfriend.  With love like ours, the love making was bound to be exceptional.

Just before we finally fell asleep, my father said, “I can’t wait for Sam to join us.”

So we were going to be a foursome.  My heart was racing, and I couldn’t fall asleep.  Then Rob started to laugh.  “Thank God,” he said to our dad, “that Jimmy and I didn’t have to come out to you.  We were scared shitless, dreading the day.”

Now if you think that all this love making, from Jared to my brother to my father, just happened spontaneously, guess again.  From the day I got Jared into bed with me, to the day my father came out, I orchestrated the whole scenario.  I made it happen.

*****

My friend Jared lived next door to us.  Our parents were friendly, and so were Jared and I.  He was a year older than I was, but that did not stop us from being playmates.  As we matured, I was filled with an overwhelming desire to have sex with him.  To that end, I kept steering all our conversations to sex.  I found that Jared was easily steered.

Finally, when I was eleven, my constant conversations about sex got Jared so hot I did not have trouble talking him into fucking me, and I fucking him.  I was so artful that he actually believed it was his idea.  We both loved it and kept it up for a few years.  Then I began to make love with my brother, and Jared started to date girls.  That marked the end of an era.

I used the same ploy with my brother as I had used on Jared.  I bombarded him with talks about sex.  He was older than I so I constantly asked him questions regarding sex.  We both slept in jockey shorts, and I know for sure that Rob would get hard when we were discussing sex.  I never said anything, but one day I announced that from now on I was going to sleep nude.  “I figure that if I want to jack off in the middle of the night, I’ll be ready,” I explained to him.

“Good idea,” he agreed, and we both slept naked from then on.

I hinted in every way I knew to tell him that I was gay, without explicitly confessing it to him.  Finally, he got it, and on his seventeenth birthday, he hopped into my bed and the rest is history.  Rob lives with his soul mate now, but we will always be brothers and lovers.  However, he will not make love to me anymore unless his husband, Ken, joins us.  It’s perfectly all right with me.  Ken is a hunk.

My father presented more of a challenge.  How does one seduce a full grown, straight man? 

Until I reached my fifth birthday, my father took me into the shower with him.  I was fascinated by his muscular body and his six foot stature.  I prayed I would grow as tall and be as solid as he was.  But the most fascinating thing about him was his cock.  It never seemed to be the same size.  Most of the growth, in length and girth, occurred while he was cleaning it.  I couldn’t understand my childish feelings, but I knew I wanted to hold it in my hands and kiss it.  I dreamt about it constantly, but of course, I did not touch it.

One day, while I was in the shower with Dad, his cock began to grow.  His foreskin completely disappeared.  I didn’t know then, but now I know that he had a full blown erection.  His prick was about at my eye level.  To this day I don’t know why I did what I did.  Without thinking I reached out, held his balls in my hands, and kissed his pulsating member.  My father sighed deeply, and smiled at me.

“That was very nice,” he said, “but it was wrong of you to do that.  I think it’s time for you to shower alone.” 

From that day on, I never showered with my father until my eighteenth birthday.  He made love with my brother and me that night, and the three of us showered together the next morning.

Before my mother died, and my dad started to spend a lot of time outside the house, the two of us would often sit on the sofa and watch TV together.  I would cuddle up to him, and put his arm around my shoulder.  Then I would rest my head on his chest.  As if by accident, I would rest a palm on his thigh.  I didn’t think my attempted seduction was working, but one day I noticed an unmistakable bulge in his cargo shorts.  That day he pulled me tighter to him.  After that I paid attention, and realized that he got hard almost every time we cuddled.

Unfortunately, nothing happened.  I was too chicken to be more proactive, and Dad seemed to ignore the whole thing.  Then one night he announced that he was gay and invited himself to make love with Rob and me.  Somehow, he knew we were both gay and making it together.  You can’t hide anything from a parent.  Now I know where the word ‘apparent’ comes from.  It must have its roots in the word ‘parent.’

After college, Rob and I lived together, but early on he met Ken, and they established their own household, so I took on the role of a promiscuous bachelor.  Rob, Ken, Dad and Sam were constantly trying to fix me up.  I had sex with all the men on their lists, but love never blossomed.

I always thought I was making love happen, but I know now that I was making sex happen.  It struck me like a bolt of lightning.  If I could make sex happen, maybe I could make love happen.

So that’s how things stood when I had my epiphany. 

Part Two

I was presented with a new dilemma.  I thought long and hard about where the most likely place was to meet the right guy.  I was in my forties now.  My standards were still high, but my expectations were at an all-time low.

I thought about joining a gym, but reasoned that the guys might be too young for me.  It occurred to me that my gay church, or the Gay and Lesbian Community Center might fit the bill, but I am a regular at both places, and I haven’t met anyone yet.  I gave some thought to a personal ad, but concluded that would be a last resort.

I noticed that volunteers to charity tended to become quite close knit, and friendships might be made.  I inquired at the GLCC and was told that volunteers were needed to man the hot line and they were in big demand.  I also learned that there were always two to four volunteers working at any given time.  Perfect!  Perhaps another volunteer and I might become more than friends.

I signed up, and was given Tuesday and Friday evenings and Sunday afternoons.  I could go to The Center after work on weekdays and after church on Sundays.  If I met someone I wanted to pursue a relationship with, I could ask him to have dinner with me on Sundays and a late cup of coffee with some pastry on week nights.  I was back in my ‘making it happen mode,’ and I was feeling pretty good about it.

The volunteer-coordinator figured that a man my age, with all my life experiences, needed very little instruction.   So I started on a Tuesday evening at 6 PM and was scheduled to cover the phone until 10 PM that night. Two other phones were being manned on the first day of my volunteer position, and my spirits rose.  The phones hardly rang that night so the three of us had plenty of time to socialize.

Tyler was eighteen and a recent high school graduate.  He was just doing this for the summer before going off to college.  He was really hot, and if I was looking for a one night stand I’d be all over him.  On the other hand Colin was in his mid-thirties, and I fell for him immediately.  I wanted to get to know him better so that if I thought he was a keeper, I could begin to make love happen.

The first time Tyler took a pee break, I asked Colin if he would like to have a cup of coffee with me after our shift. 

“I know a couple of all-night coffee shops,” I winked at him.  Much to my delight, he agreed immediately.  I found out at a later date that Colin thought I was about thirty.  Just like my father, I am a hot stud, if I must say so myself.  I work out as much as I can and I’m very muscular.  I have to admit that I do look a lot younger than my years.

We each had a cup of coffee with a piece of apple pie.  I learned a lot that night.  We were both single, and tired of the rat race.  Each of us wanted to settle down.  Colin looked at me longingly, and I realized that he was pursuing the same path as I was.  My heart soared.  I was totally attracted to him, and he was looking for love.  We weren’t due to work together Friday evening so I got bold.  I put my hand on his and asked, “Do you think we might s4ee each other again real soon?”

He shocked the hell out of me when he answered, “For sure, and maybe we can do a lot more than just see each other.”  I squeezed his hand tighter.  I wasn’t certain when it would happen, but I knew that we would make love in the near future.

When I showed up at The Center on Friday, I was alone.  It really didn’t matter.  The phone hardly ever rang, and without someone to talk to, time could drag.  At least I could answer every call that came in and try to keep busy.

It was near the end of my shift, and I was on the phone trying to talk some lovesick kid out of his shyness.  He was really attracted to someone, but he was afraid to tell him.  I gave him some inane advice, and as I hung up I heard a voice say, “Good evening, handsome.”

I turned to see Colin grinning at me.  “What are you doing here?” I asked.  I was as nervous as the kid I had just hung up on.

“You’re about done.  I came to ask if you’d like to have a cup of coffee with me.”

I accepted immediately.  My heart was pumping wildly.  I hadn’t felt this way since I was a high school kid.

“I prepared a little late night snack at my place.  I live just around the corner.  Is that all right with you?”

“It’s perfect,” I said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

Soon I found myself alone with Colin in his apartment.  I had a hard-on and I didn’t try to hide it.  As soon as we came through the front door, Colin excused himself and went to his bedroom.  He came out moments later wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms.  He had nothing on underneath.  He threw an identical pair of bottoms at me.

“Here,” he said, “you might as well get comfortable, too.”

I looked at him quizzically seeking an explanation.  Colin laughed, “Now that I have you alone, you don’t think I’m going to let you go.”

I started to strip right there in the living room.  I gave Colin the full Monty, and he crowed with delight.  I am uncut like my father and brother, and very well endowed.  Now I wondered about Colin.  As if he could read my mind, he exposed himself.  Not only were our PJ bottoms identical, so were our cocks. 

As soon as he and I were attired only in the bottoms, Colin approached me, and we shared our first kiss.  I shouldn’t call it a kiss.  It was the most passionate coupling of my tongue with another human being’s that I could remember in forty-one years. At the same time our cocks were dry humping and I feared I might cum.

I actually whimpered, and Colin whispered in my ear, “I know.  I feel the same way.”

“I’m not really hungry,” I confessed.

“Me either,” he said, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into his bedroom.

We dropped our PJ bottoms, and fell on his bed where we started a kissing marathon.  After a while Colin said, “Let’s play sixty-nine so we don’t have to argue about who’ll go first.”

With that said he twisted around and took my exceptionally stiff rod into his mouth.  I was so overcome with emotion I forgot to take him into me.  I got myself together and proceeded to do my duty. We didn’t want to cum this way, honestly we didn’t, but we were both so worked up, we just came too rapidly in each other’s mouth.  We untwisted and lay side by side holding hands.

“I’m sorry.” I said.  “I didn’t want to cum so fast.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Colin said.  “I’m just as guilty as you are.  Besides, we have all weekend, and I told you I wasn’t going to let you get away.”  He placed his lips on mine, forced them open, and started another marathon kissing session.  We were still at it when somehow we both dozed off.

When I woke up, Colin was standing over me with a grin covering his entire face.  The grin produced a dimple on his right cheek, which only served to enhance his beauty.  He held a sealed condom and a tube of lube in his hand.

“I’m ready,” he said.  “Are you?”

“I’ll show you how ready I am.” 

I grabbed the lube and shot some on the fingers of my right hand.  I stuffed the goo up my ass, reamed the slime around and yelled, “Fuck me, breed me, but don’t waste another second.  I love you so much?”

I love you so much.  Where the hell did those words come from?  Did they come out of my mouth?  If they did, it was involuntary.  Nonetheless, I couldn’t take the words back.  I started to laugh.  I realized that I didn’t want to retract them.  I meant every word I said.

Colin sighed.  “I love you, too,” he murmured.  Moments later he was fucking me.

As he came closer and closer to orgasm, I screeched out, “Please don’t ever give it to anyone else.  Save it all for me.  I want you inside of me forever.”  In my euphoria I suppose I was asking him to be exclusive with me.  He got the picture because he started to cry.

“Yes, yes,” he said between sobs just as he came.

“Are we really going to be monogamous?” I asked after we had both calmed down.

Colin nodded.

“That’s a new one for me, but I like it.”

We made love all night.  We couldn’t let our bodies be parted.  We sighed, cried and laughed a lot.  Finally, we fell asleep.

Colin made breakfast when we woke up late in the morning.

“Do you realize how domestic this scene is?” he asked.  “I love it.  I love being your exclusive partner.”

I thought long and hard before I said, “Colin I have to tell you something about me, my brother and my father.”

He listened closely as I explained our relationship.  He seemed to be incapable of speech.  I guess I really shocked him and I began to worry how he would react to it. 

I interrupted the silence by saying, “I love you, Colin, but I have been making love to my dad and my brother since I was a young kid.  I never want to give that up.  I love them, too, but very different from how I love you, of course.” 

Colin remained silent.

“Please,” I begged, “say something.”

Colin’s contagious grin covered his face.  “It’s okay with me,” he said, “as long as I am included as a member of the family, and that we keep our love making for family members only.”

I kissed him until my lips hurt.

“Yes,” I whispered.  “You’re family now.”