Love Me If You Can!

 by: Hankster

© 2009 by the Author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Joe Gordon woke up on his fortieth birthday alone in bed.  That was certainly not unusual for him.  The handsome, nearly young, executive was used to waking up alone.  If he had sex in the evening at someone else’s place, he left as soon as he could, and if someone had sex with him at his apartment, he made it quite clear that he was not welcome to spend the night.  He enjoyed playing the field and he wasn’t going to let himself get involved.  To that end he always avoided over nighters.

Joey had a counterpart in the non-commitment department.  Yuri Stigorian grew up in Athens to an Israeli mother and a Greek father.  He moved to New York to attend Columbia University.  After school, he remained in the big apple, where he opened an American branch of his father’s designer clothing manufacturing business. 

Yuri’s mother was a tall exotic looking model who came to Athens for a runway show to promote Israeli fashion.  There she met Yuri’s handsome father and she never returned to Israel.  Yuri inherited his mother’s beauty and his father’s athletic body. 

His maternal grandparents had immigrated to Israel from New York City when Yuri’s mother was a baby.  He had spent every summer of his boyhood visiting them in Israel, and as a result he spoke Greek, English and Hebrew like a native.  He also enjoyed American, Israeli (through his mother), and Greek (by birth) citizenship. He had no problem attracting handsome young studs to his bedroom, but like Joey, he made it quite clear that they could not spend the night.

Joey was vice president and principal buyer for a chain of boutiques which sold high end designer clothing.  One morning he had an appointment with Yuri to view his current line of designer clothing.  The line included the works of some of the top designers in the world.  The two men were immediately attracted to each other and slept together that very night.

On the night before his fortieth birthday, Joey had dinner with Yuri, with whom he had been tricking with off and on for the past six months.  Yuri was five years younger than he, but they both looked to be in their late twenties.  If he was honest with himself, he enjoyed sex with Yuri more than anyone else he could remember.  Even the time they spent together, before and after sex, was relaxing and casual.  They would sip wine and talk about nothing in particular.   Yet everything Yuri said, all the small talk, seemed to be so intelligent and important to Joey.

Last night Yuri fell asleep after their second sexual encounter of the evening, and rather than wake him and tell him it was time to go, Joey cuddled up to him, wrapped his arm around Yuri’s torso and he too fell asleep.  He could not remember sleeping so well in years.  When he awoke, he was terribly disappointed that Yuri was gone.  He probably left in the middle of the night, Joey thought.  That was what he always demanded of his tricks, so why was he disappointed?

He wanted to roll over and get another forty winks, but he had to pee badly.  Instead he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.  He thought he smelled something, and so he took a deep breath and inhaled deeply.  He was not mistaken.  The apartment was filled with the pleasant aroma of bacon frying on a griddle.  He stopped to pee, only because he had to, and then headed to the kitchen.  There was Yuri at the range, as naked as he was.

“Good morning handsome,” Yuri said, “Your breakfast is almost ready.  Pour the juice and butter the toast, please, while I finish the bacon and eggs.”

Yesterday, or maybe last week, Joey would have been angry to have Yuri stay over.  This morning he was delighted.  The domesticity of the scene did not escape him, but he brushed aside the feeling of entrapment and decided to enjoy the moment.  Joey had never consciously decided that it was time to settle down, but seeing Yuri making breakfast for both of them, so overwhelmed him, that he thought that maybe he and Yuri could make a life together.

Easy guy, he thought. You have no idea what Yuri thinks about all this.

Joey went over to Yuri and put his arms around him.  His cock pushed up against Yuri’s ass as he kissed Yuri on the neck.  “I’m glad you didn’t run away,” Joey said.  “Today is a big birthday for me and I really need some one to share it with.  I guess I really mean that I need someone to console me.”

“I know,” Yuri said.  “I didn’t fall asleep on you last night.  I only pretended.  I wanted to be with you on this very special occasion.”  Yuri turned around and kissed Joey on his lips.  “Happy birthday, young man,” he said.

They ate breakfast in relative silence.  Joey’s parents were long dead.  He had no other family, and since his childhood, Joey had never eaten breakfast at home with another human being.  He really was at a loss for conversation.  His mind was working overtime.  He still believed that he didn’t want any involvements, but he was feeling things for Yuri that he was totally unused to.

They rinsed the dishes, and placed them in the dishwasher.  All this was done in silence.  To be honest, both men were confused about their feelings.

“Let’s shower and get back in bed,” Yuri suggested.  “I want to make love to you all day long as a birthday present.”

“I like the way you think,” Joey said.  He took Yuri’s hand and led him into the bathroom.  He started the shower and waited for the temperature to be at his satisfaction level.  Then the two entered the stall.  Once inside they wrapped their arms around each other and hugged tightly.  Their cocks rubbed together and they both began to get hard.

I love this man, Joey thought, but I don’t dare tell him.  Shit!

They made love most of the day, and in the evening Yuri took Joey out for a gourmet dinner to celebrate his birthday.  Joey didn’t even protest when Yuri picked up the tab.  They parted after dinner and days went by before they spoke again.  Neither wanted to be the one to admit how much he missed the other.  More strange was the fact that they both remained celibate during this time of confusion.

Finally one morning, Yuri had to call Joey on business.  That broke the ice.

“It’s been too long,” Joey said.  “Let’s get together tonight.”

“You’re on,” Yuri said.  “I have a slew of appointments this afternoon.  I’ll be running late so come on over to my place about 6:30 and we’ll decide on what to do.”

“Sure,” Joey said, but what he really wanted to say was let’s skip dinner and fuck our brains out.  “I’ll see you then,” he concluded as he hung up. 

It was only 3 PM, but just then his secretary came in to inform him that she was leaving, and to wish him a Merry Christmas.  Joey had completely forgotten that it was Christmas Eve and his office was closing early.  He was not close enough with anyone to have made holiday plans and for the first time in his life that bothered him. He actually felt remorse.  He figured that Yuri was in the same boat since his folks were in Greece.  He was glad he had invited Yuri to spend the evening with him, and he could have kicked himself for being such an asshole and not having called Yuri sooner.

He had about three hours to kill before going over to Yuri’s apartment.  He decided to buy Yuri a Christmas present.  He was the last person in the office so he locked up and headed for Bloomingdale’s.  He bought Yuri a handsome pair of kid gloves, which he had gift wrapped.  He thought several times about it, and in the end he enclosed a card which read, “Affectionately, Joey.”  He still had a couple of hours to kill so he dropped in at a cocktail lounge which was located a short distance from Yuri’s apartment.

The lounge was empty except for an elderly man at the bar.  Most people had left work early and had headed home to be with their families.  Joey seated himself at the bar and ordered a scotch and soda.  He could see that the man sitting a few seats down from him was an exceptionally handsome older man, about 65 years old, holding a beer in his hands.  The glass was full and the beer had no head.  Obviously the man had not drunk a sip of the brew.  Suddenly he put his arm on the bar, placed his head on his arm and began to cry.  His whole body heaved with the force of his sobs.

Joey rushed over and put his arm around the man’s shoulder.  He looked up at Joey, and Joey gasped.  The man looked like an older version of himself.  He was the same height; his eyes were the exact same color; his hair was speckled with gray but the original color was the same as his.  The man was still sobbing, but as his crying abated he said, “Thanks for caring Joey.”

“How did you know my name?” Joey asked.  The man didn’t answer him, and an uncomfortable silence followed.  Finally Joey asked, “Why are you crying, fella?  Is there something I can do to help?”

“No one can help,” the man said.  “Here it is Christmas Eve, and I’m all alone.  There’s not a soul on earth I can share the evening with.”

“Surely a good looking guy like you has at least one girlfriend to be with tonight,” Joey tried to console the guy.

“First of all, Joey, I’m gay, and I don’t even have one boyfriend to share this evening with either.”

“That’s hard to believe,” Joey said.  “Have you been living on Mars for the past twenty years?”

“I might just as well have been out of this world,” the man said.  “I have pushed away every man that ever wanted to be close to me.  I was afraid of a relationship.  I only wanted to have one night stands.  I couldn’t bear the thought of committing to anyone.  I just wanted to be fancy free, and I am.  Now that I’m old, older,” he corrected himself, “here I am, a lonely man.  I was a jerk.”

His words stung Joey to his core.  Wasn’t that what he was doing?  Wasn’t he forty and still alone?  Didn’t he push all his loves out of his life?  No wonder the stranger was crying.  Suddenly Joey felt like crying with him.

The man looked at Joey accusingly.  “You’re doing the same thing.  Aren’t you, you fool?”

What right had this stranger to say these things to him?  He had no cause to call him a fool even if he was one.  Joey was getting more and more uncomfortable.  Not only did this man know his name, but he seemed to know all about him.

“You have no right to say these things,” Joey answered back.  “I love my life and I don’t want to complicate it.  Anyway, whether I do or not, is none of your business.  Now I suggest you stop sniveling and I’ll buy you a fresh beer.”

“I’m sorry,” the man said.  “I guess I overstepped my bounds.  I’d like a fresh drink, thank you.”

“You have me at a disadvantage.  You seem to know my name, but I don’t know yours,” Joey said. 

He expected the man to tell him his name, but instead the stranger said, “It’s not important for you to know my name.”  Obviously he had no intention of giving Joey that information.

“Have it your way,” Joey said.  “I’ll just call you Rumpelstilskin.”  Joey turned to the bartender and ordered a fresh beer for Rumpy and a scotch and soda for him.  He then turned back to the older man and asked, “How is it you know my name and so much about me?  I’d really like to know.”

“I can read it in your face.  You are basically a lonely man, Joey.  You have few friends and except for Yuri, you never see a trick twice.  I can see it all just by looking into your eyes.”

“There you go again,” Joey said.  “How do you know about Yuri?”

“None of your business,” the stranger answered, and now Joey was beginning to get frightened.

“Yuri is the best thing that ever happened to you.   I just know you’ll let him slip away and you’ll end up a lonely old man like me.”

“Nonsense,” Joey said.  “I have plenty of friends and I’m not lonely, nor will I ever be.”

“Why do I have to repeat myself?” Rumpy asked.  “You know damn well that you have a few acquaintances, but no real friends.  If you had half a brain you would see that Yuri is a good friend.  Why he even stayed overnight with you so you wouldn’t be alone on your birthday.  You surely know that went against his philosophy also, but he did it for you.  And if that isn’t enough, he’s the best lover you ever had.  When he sucks your cock, you envision that Paradise must be like that.  Don’t even try to deny it.”

Joey got up to leave.  He had enough.  “You’re crazy old man and I don’t have to listen to this garbage.”

“Don’t bother to leave,” the stranger said.  “I was just leaving.  Thanks for the drink.”  He got up and left so quickly that he left Joey stunned.  He took a sip of his cocktail and tried to make sense of what had just happened.  As he was musing, another older man shuffled in and sat down in the spot vacated by the stranger Joey had been talking to.

“A martini,” the man ordered.  Joey looked at the man and did a double take.

My God, he thought.  That’s what Yuri might look like in about thirty years.

The man took a sip of his martini.  Then he laid his head down on his arm and began to sob just as Rumpy had.  Instinctively Joey wanted to console him just as he had tried to console Rumpy, but after his recent experience, he decided against it.

After some time passed, the man raised his head and looked at Joey.  “What kind of man ignores a crying man on Christmas Eve?” he asked.

“The kind of man who doesn’t give a shit why you are crying,” Joey answered, making his voice sound as cruel as possible.  “I see that you are going to tell me, whether I’m interested or not, so OK.  Why are you crying and can I help?”

“No you can’t help, but I’ll tell you why I am so sad.  It’s Christmas Eve and I am all alone.  There’s not a soul in the world I can share this magical evening with.  When I was your age I was just like you.  I refused to get involved.  I never slept with the same man twice.  Then I met someone and I fell madly in love with him.  Unfortunately, he didn’t want involvement either, so I was afraid to tell him how I felt about him, and after awhile we stopped seeing each other.  I continued my wanton ways until my youth and beauty faded, and now I’m practically celibate.  I don’t care so much about that, but I care that I am so damned lonely.”

“My heart bleeds for you,” Joey said facetiously.  The truth is that the man was too close to the truth of his own life, and Joey was distinctly uncomfortable.  “I can understand that you didn’t get involved with anyone, but why don’t you have any friends?”

“I was so busy avoiding a relationship I failed to realize the difference between a friend and an avaricious lover.  God, I was such a fool,” the old man said.  “You seem determined to follow in my footsteps, you jerk,” the man accused Joey.”

“Hey, stop it!  You have no right to talk to me that way,” Joey hissed at the man.

“I have every right, you moron,” the man said.  He got up and left without paying his bar tab.

“Did you see that?” Joey asked the bartender.  “That guy left without paying his bill.”

“What man?” the bartender asked.

“The guy I was just talking to,” Joey shouted at the bartender.

“No need to yell, dude.  There has been nobody in here but you and me since you came in.  I just served you your last drink.  I think you have had one too many.”

Joey was about to protest when a voice inside him seemed to tell him to cool it.  He took what remained of his drink to a small corner table and tried to make sense of what had just happened to him.

I have just met two guys who could be me and Yuri 25 or 30 years down the pike.  They are old and miserable and very, very lonely.  Is this an omen, a portent of how our lives will be someday?  No, no, it can’t be.  It’s too sad.  I don’t want to be like those guys.  Dear God, don’t let me end up like that.

Joey felt his shoulder being shaken vigorously.  He had fallen asleep.

“Look buddy,” he heard the bartender say.  “It’s almost 8 o’clock.  We’re closing for the holiday.  I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Oh God,” Joey whined.  “I’ve missed my date with Yuri.  Please God let him still be home.”  He paid the bartender and ran out and towards Yuri’s building.   When he got there, he rang Yuri’s apartment and Yuri buzzed him in through the front door.

Thank God he’s home, Joey thought.  When he got to Yuri’s apartment, Yuri was standing at the door waiting for him.

“I was so worried,” he said.  “What happened to you?  Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?”

Joey wasn’t sure how he could explain what happened to him so he removed Yuri’s present from his coat pocket, and threw his coat on a chair.  His eyes met Yuri’s and he began to cry like a baby. Yuri wrapped his arms around his crying friend.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Yuri asked.

Sweetheart!!!  Yuri called him sweetheart.  Joey cried even harder.  Yuri held him tighter.

It took Joey awhile to get control of himself.  “I can’t explain anything,” he said, “but I have something to say to you.  After I say it, you can kick me out if you’d like, but if I don’t confess something to you, I’ll never forgive myself.”

Joey was still clutching Yuri’s gift in one of his hands so Yuri took his other hand and led him to the sofa.  The two men sat down.

“It sounds very serious,” Yuri said.  “Go ahead.”

Joey did not mince any words.  He was afraid he would lose his courage if he did.  He took a deep breath and said, “Yuri I love you.  I haven’t been with any one else since my birthday.  I don’t want to be alone any more.  I want to be with you.  I want to go to sleep with you, and wake up with you and make love to you every single day and night for the rest of my life.  I need you so much to share my life with me.  Even if you don’t feel the same way, I’m glad I told you.”

Yuri was still holding Joey’s free hand and he squeezed it hard.  “You jerk,” he said.

He’s rejecting me, Joey thought.  No! The old man who looked like Yuri, he called me a jerk also.

“I guess you’d like me to take off and disappear forever,” Joey said.

“No, you moron, (the old man called Joey that too) I want you to stay.  I want you to stay with me forever.  I feel the same way you do, but I thought that if I admitted it to you, you would run away, and I didn’t want to risk not ever seeing you again.”

“I feared the same thing,” Joey said.  He wanted to embrace Yuri but he still held Yuri’s Christmas present in his hand.  He thrust it at Yuri.  “Merry Christmas,” he said.

“I got you something too,” Yuri said.  He ran to the server in the dining room and retrieved a package.  It was identical to Joey’s and also came from Bloomingdales.  They both ripped open their packages and broke out laughing.  Each had given the other an identical pair of kid gloves.  The note in Joey’s gift read, With affection, Yuri.

Finally they embraced and both started sobbing.  “What gave you the courage to tell me that you wanted me forever?” Yuri asked.

“I’ll tell you all about in the morning after we’ve made love a hundred times.”

“That’s a deal,” Yuri said.  “I didn’t think there would be any restaurants open this evening, so I made us dinner, but I think it’s spoiled by now.”

“I know a Chinese restaurant close by that’s open really late.  I’ll bet they don’t close on Christmas Eve,” Joey said.  They grabbed their coats and ran to the restaurant which was still open and very crowded.  They were seated in the last remaining booth and the waiter handed them menus.  Service was a bit slow so Joey took the opportunity to look around.  Seated at a small table, in a corner of the restaurant, were the two men he had encountered at the bar.  They were smiling at each other and were not embarrassed to hold each other’s hands in public.  They looked over at Joey and smiled.  One of them mouthed the words, thank you.  Then they both disappeared and the table was empty.

Joey wanted desperately to tell Yuri about his Christmas miracle, but he figured this was not the time.  All he wanted to do was eat dinner and make love to Yuri all night long, and all day tomorrow, and every day after that, forever and ever.

Posted: 12/04/09