They met in a chat room on the internet (Manhattan-thirty-something).  Nothing unusual there.  They were both married with children.  Still not unusual.  Before starting the conversation, they checked each other’s profiles.  If the profiles were truthful, they were about the same age, 36 and 37, and had similar physical descriptions.  Both profiles said “discretion required,” so they knew immediately that they were both married men, or at the least, still in the closet.

They chatted for over an hour that first day, and they both concluded that they were kindred souls.  Both had married for the same reasons.  The stigma of being labeled homosexual was too much to bear, and both found out that they could function with a woman as long as they imagined that they were with a man.  They both had two teen aged kids.  Daniel had two boys and Jordan had a boy and a girl.  Even their kids were the same ages.

They weren’t ready to meet after one digital messaging session, but their relationship continued to progress.  Whenever they could, they messaged on line, texted and E-Mailed each other.  After three months they grew bold and talked to each other on the phone on their lunch breaks.  After another two months passed, they agreed to meet.  Both their offices were in mid-town Manhattan, and they picked a bar convenient to both of them.  They decided to meet on a Friday evening for TGIF drinks.  Each figured that their wives would not be angry at them if they told them that they were having a TGIF drink with their co-workers, and might be a little late coming home that evening.

They were both nervous Nellies that Friday, and neither could concentrate on their work.  Previously they had sent head shots to each other, and described their physical appearances.  Not only that, but as their friendship grew, they both admitted that they were both cut, about four inches flaccid, and neither had ever measured themselves when erect.  They were sure they would recognize each other, but for safety’s sake, they decided to meet just inside the entrance to the bar.  As a result they spotted each other immediately.

“Jordie?” Danny asked, extending his arm.

“Yes.  Danny, I presume?”

The two men shook their hands with gusto, all the while smiling at each other.  They were already in love, and immediately their meeting confirmed it.  Each wanted to hug and kiss the other, and later they were sorry that they hadn’t chosen to meet in a gay bar.

Once seated at the bar, they both ordered a beer.  At first their conversation was haltingly slow and awkward, but as soon as their beer was served, they couldn’t stop talking.  They both admitted that their yearning for male sex was consuming them, but they were too scared to walk away from their marriages.  Jordie even revealed that he avoided sex, and purposely hurt his wife (just a little) during sex, hoping that she would leave him.

Each of them would have liked the evening to have lasted forever, but at last, they had to break it up.  Leaving the bar, they threw caution to the wind, and hugged each other.  They agreed to have a TGIF drink every week, but next time they decided to meet in a gay bar that they were both familiar with.

“Next time,” Danny said, “let’s figure out how and when we can get together, and take it to the next step … if you want to, that is.”

“There’s nothing I want more,” Jordie said.  He hugged Danny harder and thrust his package against Danny’s, rubbing dangerously against his new friend.  They both wanted desperately to kiss each other, but they held back.

When they met in the gay bar the following Friday evening, they did it all.  When they greeted each other, they hugged, kissed, and grabbed each other’s crotch. They were both walking on air.

Danny couldn’t hold out.  “I love you,” he whispered in Jordie’s ear.

“Same here,” Jordie agreed.

While having their beers, they plotted to take Monday off and meet in a hotel in lower Manhattan.  Each of them had plenty of sick days accumulated.  When their plans were completed, they leaned in for a kiss and a feel.  Before departing, they danced one dance together.

That weekend they completely ignored, (in fact, avoided) any interaction with their families.  They isolated themselves, and texted in great pornographic detail just what they would do to each other, and for each other, when at last they were alone together. 

Monday morning, as soon as they left their homes, they called in sick, and headed for the hotel.  Jordie got there first and got them a room.  He called Danny and told him to go immediately to room 208, and he would meet him there.  Within thirty seconds of Danny’s arrival, they were both naked and staring at each other in admiration.

“Let’s shower together,” Jordie suggested.  “I want to rim your ass, suck your cock, and then fuck you.”

“You get no argument from me,” Danny said, “as long as I can do all those things to you also.”

They both brought lube, but neither brought condoms.  It was not a cause for concern for either of them. They made love to each other, in and out of the shower, until they were both exhausted.  Never before had either of them ever experienced so passionate a love making session.  The intensity of their orgasms actually shocked them.  When they were finished, they wrapped up in each other’s arms, and just kissed and fondled. 

“I like this as much as the fucking,” Danny said.

Jordie didn’t answer, so Danny looked in his eyes and saw that Jordie had tears on his cheeks.  Danny panicked, thinking that Jordie was regretful of all they had done.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Jordie said, “but we can’t keep taking days off.  I want to be with you so much.”

“Me too,” Danny whispered.  “Between today and next Friday, think of ways we can manage it.  I’ll do the same, and I just know we’ll come up with a plan.”

On Friday, after work, they arrived at the hotel at the same time.  Jordie had paid for the room last time, so Danny paid this time.  They rushed to get to their room, and they set a new record in undressing.  They didn’t bother to shower like the previous Monday, when they had all day.  They only had a couple of hours, and they were too anxious to begin making love to waste time.

After the love making, as they were basking in the afterglow, Jordie said,
“We’d better get dressed now and head on home.”

“I’m in no hurry,” Danny countered.  “As far as I’m concerned, we could do this every night, and come home late every night.  I just don’t care anymore.”

“I feel the same way, but what happened to discretion required?” Jordie asked.

“I don’t care about discretion any longer.  I love you so much it hurts to say goodbye to you after we have made love.  I’m thinking of leaving my wife.”

“Please don’t do anything rash, Danny.  I’m not ready to take such a drastic step.  Let’s discuss it next time we’re together.  The whole idea is mind boggling.”

The next day Danny got a call from Jordie at his office.  “I can’t do what you are asking,” he said.  “I love you so much, but I can’t shatter my family.  I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”  He hung up abruptly so that Danny could not reply.

Danny was devastated.  He tried to call Jordie, but he would not return his calls.  Jordie changed his E Mail address, and refrained from entering chat rooms.  Danny was going crazy.  He thought of outing Jordie to his wife, but he knew he could never be that cruel.  He just had to accept their current situation.  He rationalized that he and Jordie had made a foolish decision when they married.  They had made their marital beds, and now they had to lie in them.

Living life in the mainstream may have been all right for Jordie, but Danny could no longer live that way.  He hated to come home to the wife and (nearly grown) kiddies every evening.  He longed to be with men, and make love to them, and if not love, have sex with them.  Every day, the urge to leave his marriage grew stronger.  He avoided sex with his wife, and told her he couldn’t get it up any longer.  She urged him to see a urologist.

The day he drove his younger son to college, he made a mind blowing decision on his drive home.  That evening as he and his wife were stacking the dinner plates in the dishwasher, he said, very softly and calmly, “Honey, I’m gay, and I can’t live this way anymore.  I want to divorce you, and move out as soon as possible.  You don’t have to worry.  I swear; I’ll give you everything I possibly can, and see to the boys’ educations.”

He left his wife staring blankly at him, unable to speak.  He packed two suitcases, put them in his car, and drove to the nearest YMCA.

**********

Danny was a little older than the average resident at the Y, but he was handsome and virile.  He had worked out a lot at a gym near his apartment, and he possessed a taut, muscular body.  The first time he went to shower, he was hit on immediately by a cute twenty something kid.  They went to Danny’s room, and the young man came so fast, and got out so quickly, that Danny didn’t think he would recognize him again.  He began to cry for Jordie.  He also knew that he had to find a place of his own and soon.

Danny went through a long period of adjustment, but in time, he did adjust to his new life.  He found a nearly affordable one bedroom apartment in a fairly nice neighborhood in downtown Manhattan.  He fixed the place up so that it was attractive and homey at the same time.  He began to visit gay bars in The Village.  He quickly discovered which ones catered to more mature men, and he zeroed in on one where the atmosphere was particularly sociable.  In fact, he began to make friends there, and even acquired a few fuck buddies, but nobody special.

On the very day when his divorce became final, he went to his favorite bar to celebrate with his friends.  It was there that he met Bram (Abraham) Morelli.  One of Danny’s friends introduced him to Bram.  It seems that he was an old school chum, who had recently been transferred to New York.  Bram was about Danny’s age, height and weight.  They couldn’t know it yet, but their cocks were the same size, but Bram was not cut, and Danny was.

Bram admitted to Danny that he was a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of people on the streets of New York.  Without realizing it, Danny immediately took Bram under his wing.  After all, he had lived in New York all his life.  Who better was there to orient a lost soul?

“Have breakfast with me on Saturday,” Danny said, “and then I’ll give you a tour of the more interesting things New York has to offer.”

“That’s very nice of you, but I need to start looking for an apartment.  I’m at the Y now, but I want to set down roots as soon as possible.”

“There you go,” Danny said.  “After breakfast, I can help you look, and keep you out of questionable neighborhoods.”

Bram’s smile lit up the room.  “That’s really so generous of you,” he said.

Danny gave Bram his address and asked him to come by at 9 AM on Saturday.

“With bells on,” Bram said.

Bram knocked on Danny’s door at about 8:55 AM.  Danny liked Bram, and felt that it was a good sign that he was early.  When Bram entered the apartment, he immediately smelled the aroma of bacon cooking.

“I decided to make us breakfast at home,” Danny explained.  “How do you like your eggs?”

“Sunnyside; how do you like yours?”

“Over-light.  Do you want your bagel toasted?”

“No.”

“Neither do I.”

An unexplainable look passed between them, and they fell into each other’s arms.  They kissed for too long, and finally Danny said, “It’s too soon to say that I love you, but I have serious hots for you.  Why don’t you leave the Y, and stay with me … until you find a place of your own … or stay here forever?”

They resumed kissing until Danny took the bacon off the flame, and they rushed into Danny’s bedroom.  They made love all morning, and Danny thought that he hadn’t had such intense feelings since he made love with Jordie.  In fact, he thought this might be better.

**********

A year later, he and Bram were sharing a large, two bedroom apartment in a better neighborhood.  Expenses were easier now with their joint incomes.  That is not to say that Danny didn’t think of Jordie often.  Sometimes Jordie came to mind even while he was making love with Bram.  When that happened, Danny wanted to kick himself in the ass, but he reckoned that there was not much he could do about it.

Then the inevitable happened.  One Saturday evening Danny and Bram were having dinner in a trendy restaurant.  They were joined by another gay couple, and each of them was enjoying the friendship of the others.  At some point in the evening, Danny happened to look around, and he spotted Jordie with a woman at a table across the room.  He assumed it was Jordie’s wife.

He panicked, not knowing what to do.  Should he ignore Jordie, or should he go over and greet him as an old friend.  As he was deciding what he should do, Jordie got up, presumably to go to the men’s room.

Danny excused himself, and followed Jordie into the room.  When the two men were alone, Jordie attempted to kiss Danny, but Danny pulled away.

“I saw you and hoped that you would follow me in here,” Jordie said.

“Is that your wife?” Danny asked.  “She’s very attractive.”

“No,” Jordie said, “She’s my divorce attorney.  My kids are out of the house, so I bit the bullet, and I’m leaving my wife.  This is fate, us meeting here like this.  I was going to call you about getting together.”

For one nano-second Danny was elated, but he got his senses back, and said, not too kindly, “Sorry Jordie, you blew your chance.  I’m in love with a great guy.  We live together, and have been discussing marriage.  I wish you the best, and hope that you’ll find your love one day.”

Jordie gave out a little sob.  “You bet I blew it,” he said.

Danny put his arm around Jordie’s shoulder.  “When you’re free,” he said, “it’ll be perfectly all right to contact Bram and me.  We both have loads of single friends we can introduce you to.”

‘That’s awfully nice of you, considering,” Jordie said contritely.

“I’ll expect to hear from you then,” Danny smiled.  “And, oh yes, Jordie, I don’t have to be discreet anymore.  You are about to find out how liberating that can be.”

Danny left the men’s room, and returned to his table.  Even though they were not in a gay restaurant, Danny wrapped his arms around Bram, and kissed him. 

“I love you,” he said.

Posted: 01/19/18