Myra and David were rinsing dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher.  Out of the blue, David asked, “The party was fun last night, wasn’t it?”

“It was a blast,” Myra said facetiously.  “We’ve already assured each other, more than once, that we had a good time.”

“There, you see.  Something doesn’t ring true about that last statement.  I can tell from the tone of your voice that you don’t mean it.”

“Well, you’re right; I don’t mean it.  We were the only two straight people at the first anniversary celebration of a gay couple.”

“So what?  Matt and Gene are my best friends.”

“It doesn’t matter.  I was very uncomfortable.  It may not bother you, but it sure bothered me.  I felt like a fag hag.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Myra, because the guys offered us an invitation last night.”

“Are you sure that I’m included, and they don’t want you all to themselves?  What did they invite US to, anyhow?”

“They’ve rented a two bedroom house in Lee, Massachusetts for the last two weeks in July.  Lee is in the heart of The Berkshires.  All summer long, theater groups and dance companies perform there, as well as The Boston Pops and The Boston Symphony.  They asked if we could vacation at the same time, and share the house with them.  Most every evening, we’ll be eating out and going to theater.  What’s wrong with that?”

“It does sound nice,” Myra said.  “Just don’t ignore me and hang out with them the whole two weeks.”

“I’d never do that.  I love you.  Can I call them and tell them that we’ll arrange our vacations the same two weeks, and join them?”

“I guess so.”

******

David, Gene, and Matt met in their first class, on their first day as freshman at CCNY.  The class was political science.  They all aspired to be lawyers. 

They defied the odds.  It’s difficult to make friends when you attend a city college.  Everyone lives at home, and misses out on the dorm experience.  But these three guys started hanging out immediately.  Every weekend they were able to get into a pick-up baseball or basketball game in Central Park.  They went to movies together, played poker together, and not once did any of them find it strange that none of them were dating.  They were all content to be three close friends, who thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company.

About halfway through their sophomore year, David began to notice that his best friends were canceling dates, and they hardly hung out together anymore.  David was hurt.  He was hurt enough to confront them about it.  Matt and Gene looked at each other and nodded.  David waited patiently for one of them to start talking.  Finally Matt began.

“David, we have something to tell you.  We tried to keep it from you because we were afraid you wouldn’t want to be our friend anymore.”

“Jerks,” David said.  “Short of mass murder, I’ll always be your friend.  Now spit it out.”

Matt continued; “Gene and I are both gay, and we are madly in love with each other.  We canceled dates with you to find the time to make love.”

David’s jaw fell open.  He couldn’t have been more shocked.  He never suspected this at all.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Gene asked.

“Yes.  Did you think that something so petty would make a difference in how I felt about you?  Wake up and smell the roses.  Of course, I’ll give you plenty of space and time to make love, but please make time for me too, and for our friendship.”

Gene and Matt smiled, and Gene said, “Group hug!”

“I want the same consideration when I fall in love,” David laughed.

The three friends graduated and went to law school together.  After graduation, they each got promising positions in three different firms.  On David’s first day on the job, one of the senior partners turned over some of his case load to him.  The older man went over the files briefly, but he said, “I’ll send in Myra.  She’s your paralegal, and has done a lot of research on these cases, so she’ll be able to bring you up to snuff.”

When the beautiful paralegal entered the handsome lawyer’s office, two hearts flipped.  Myra got herself together and asked if David had any questions.

“Yes,” David asked, “is there any kind of company policy prohibiting co-workers from dating?”

“None that I know of.”

“In that case will you have dinner with me Saturday evening?”

“I’d love to, but why do we have to wait until Saturday.”

“Believe me.  I wish we didn’t have to wait, but two of my friends are getting married, and I’m making them a bachelor party Friday night.  I’ve got things to do for the party all week, so I’ll be too busy to date.”

“Them?  Are you killing two birds with one stone?”

David laughed.  “In a way.  They are marrying each other.”

Myra didn’t like that idea, but all she said was, “After the party, I hope you’ll give me first priority.”

“I promise”

Myra and David got engaged two months after Gene and Matt were married.  They planned the wedding for nine months down the pike, Memorial Day weekend.  David had no brothers, and he agonized over asking Gene or Matt to be his best man.

Myra said with a sneer, “Why don’t you ask one of them to be your best man, and I’ll ask the other to be my matron of honor.  There’s nothing to stop me from having a maid and a matron of honor, and a dozen bridesmaids.  You can have the same privilege.”  David was very upset by her show of homophobia, but he didn’t say anything.

In the end, he asked them both to be his best men.  He didn’t know of any rule that said he couldn’t have two of them.  When David asked them, they both started to cry.

Because David had made them a bachelor party, they decided to make a bash for their best friend.  They asked David for a guest list, and when he made it up for them, he had an awakening.  Everyone on his list was a mutual friend of his and his best men, and they were all gay.  He didn’t even feel close enough to anyone in his office to include a co-worker.  In fact, he was the only straight man at the party, not counting waiters, and who could be sure about them?

The obvious fact that practically everyone at the party would be gay, prompted the best men to ask David if it would be all right to hire a male stripper rather than a female.  They felt the guests would be more comfortable and have more fun.  David didn’t mind at all.

At the party, the guests kept making toasts, and David was forced to drink one cocktail after another.  In time, the drinks went down like water, and David was several sheets to the wind.  When the male stripper honored him with a lap dance, he wasn’t even aware that he got an erection and nearly came.

Gene and Matt were not nearly as drunk, and there was no way they would let David drive himself home.  They lived in the neighborhood, and they took the nearly comatose groom-to-be home with them.  They had a two bedroom apartment, but the guest room was set up as an office for both of them.  It did not have a bed or a sofa.  They intended to undress David to his boxers (they knew he wore boxers) and put him to sleep in their bed.  Imagine their shock when they found out he wasn’t wearing underwear at all.  They weren’t aware that he had started going commando.  David began to snore immediately after his head hit the pillow.  Gene and Matt stripped also, and got into bed with David.  David was sleeping between them.

Gene and Matt woke up before David.  All three of them were wrapped up together, and they had a difficult time unwinding without awakening David.  They, the bedsheets, and David, were caked with dried semen.  Gene grabbed Matt’s hand and they ran into the bathroom to clean up.  They agreed not to tell David about it, lest he be traumatized.  If he asked about the dried semen, they would tell him that he must have whacked off.

They showered together and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.  They didn’t bother to dress.  While the bagels were defrosting, David came into the kitchen. He was also in his birthday suit.

“I’ve got a major headache,” he said.  He didn’t seem to be aware of the semen coating his pubic hairs at all.  At least, he didn’t mention it.

“Take a cold shower,” Matt said. 

“That should help sober you up,” Gene added.

Gene and Matt weren’t sure if it was lack of memory or tacit agreement, but the matter of the dried semen was never mentioned.

******

Although Myra had agreed to go to The Berkshires, gnawing doubt remained with her.  Her husband, of less than one year, had no straight friends.  All his buddies were gay.  That was strange enough, but he preferred to hang out with them, than to seek out straight friends.  She began to fear that he might be gay, and might not know it himself.  She tried to shrug that fear away by convincing herself that David didn’t know that Gene and Matt were gay for almost two years after they met.  They just simply enjoyed each other’s company.

Nevertheless, she didn’t feature the idea of spending two weeks with two gay men.  What if they should seduce David?  No, it was too awful to contemplate.

“We’re not going with Gene and Matt,” she announced several days before they were due to leave.”

“Why not?  Why are you changing your mind?” David asked.

Myra could not keep it bottled up any longer.  “Because they’re a couple of fags,” she blurted out, “and I don’t want you to have anything to do with them.”

David’s blood started to boil, but he controlled himself.  Very quietly, he said, “I never realized that I married a bigot.  Do you think for one minute that they could change me anymore than I could convert them?”

“I don’t care.  I don’t want to go.  Call them and turn down their invitation.”

“We’re going,” David said, and he left the room.

That day David could hardly concentrate on his work.  His excitement about the trip was accelerating.  Then, sometime during the day, a clap of thunder reverberated in his brain.  Sure, Matt and Gene had promised plenty of entertainment, but he didn’t give a damn about that.  His excitement came from the knowledge that he would spend two whole weeks with his best friends.  He was hardly surprised by this awakening, but he was very confused.

Myra felt bad about the fight they had that morning, so after they went to bed she tried to initiate sex.  David turned from her, and said that he wasn’t up to it.  Myra turned away from her husband.  She was in a deep snit.

David tried to sleep, but sleep would not come to him.  The vision that came to him was the night of his bachelor party.  When he woke up, he saw all the dried semen on him and on the bedsheets.  He was too scared to ask Matt and Gene about it.  Try as he might, he could not recall if the three of them had made love together.  Even if he feared that they did, conversely, he wished that they had.

David jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen.  His throat was dry and he needed a drink badly.  His whole body was shaking.  He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved Matt and Gene in that very special way, and he was certain that he had never loved Myra in quite the same way.

After David refused to have sex with Myra, her suspicions grew stronger.  She kept insisting that they not go on the trip, and David was just as adamant that they do go. 

Finally, Myra yelled, “Well, you can bloody well go without me.  Be warned, if you sleep with those two fags, you’ll never be allowed to make love to me again.”

David was not upset at all.  He hoped this would happen, and he immediately made plans to seduce his two best friends.

Matt and Gene got a call from David the next morning, informing them that he was going alone.  They didn’t bother to ask him what happened.  They could guess, and they were delighted.  They had loved David since the day they met.  They weren’t as drunk the night of the bachelor party as they led David to believe.  The three of them did make love that night in every combination possible.  David was not reticent.  He was a full participant.  They planned on seducing him again.

Since Myra wasn’t going with them, the three men drove up to Massachusetts together.  Just minutes into the trip, Gene decided to be candid.

“David,” he said, “Matt and I have something to tell you about the night of your bachelor party.”

“I know,” David said.  “I saw the semen and I was too scared to ask you what happened.  I’m not frightened anymore.  Did we, or didn’t we?”

Matt giggled.  “We sure did, my brother, and there is nothing we want more than a repeat performance.

Now it was David’s turn to laugh.  “That’s exactly what I want also.”

As soon as they reached their destination, they ran to the shower.  It was tight for three people, but they managed.  Matt and Gene started tutoring David in the art of male sex in the shower, and they continued instructions in bed later on.  The three men made love for almost twenty-four hours.  The only thing that broke it up was that they had tickets to Jacob’s Pillow that evening.

David spent the happiest two weeks of his life with his best friends.  He and Myra did not communicate once.

When Gene and Matt dropped David off at his apartment, Matt handed him a key.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“It’s a key to our apartment.  I have a feeling you’ll need it.”

He entered his apartment, and Myra didn’t even look at him.  “I want a divorce,” he blurted out.

“Get your fag ass out of this apartment.  I never want to see you again.  While you were away, I quit my job, so I don’t have to see you at work either.  Now get out.”  Even though David had never seen Myra this angry, he didn’t give a shit.

He packed a few bags and threw them into his car.  He and Myra never said a word to each other.  He just drove off to what he hoped would be his little love nest.  He let himself into the apartment, and Matt yelled at him, “We’re in the bedroom.”  He dropped his bags, ran into the bedroom, and his friends were waiting for him in bed.  They were naked and hard.

“We figured this would happen,” Gene said.

Gene and Matt wouldn’t have minded if David lived with them forever, but they were constantly trying to fix him up.  They wanted him to know the joy of an exclusive, loving companion.  It took two years, but one evening, a very handsome jock came on to him in a bar.  Matt and Gene cleverly made themselves scarce.  It wasn’t too much later that David moved in with the handsome guy.  His name was Tom.

It also didn’t take long for a very happy threesome, to become an even happier foursome.  Their bond of friendship and brotherhood would last forever.  In fact, that’s just what they were, BFF’s.

Posted: 05/18/18