Why Am I Gay
By:
Gene Hemings
(© 2011 by the author)
Editor: Ken King
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's
consent. Comments are appreciated at...
Being born in 1943, I can tell you that things were different back then. Yet, even as a young boy, I seemed to always be thinking about a dick. I seem to remember well some of the things I witnessed as a young boy. One thing I don't remember, however, was seeing my parents having sex. Still, I must have somehow seen or heard something that educated me to sex. That part does puzzle me.
I always wanted to see my younger brother's cock and balls through the leg of his shorts as we played outside in the summer months. It just looked intriguing and got my attention. Kids of five and six years old see things they don't understand and curiosity takes over.
As we both have cut cocks, I like that look still to this day, yet I have no idea why. I liked looking and feeling my own, too! Why, I have no idea there either. I suppose I was of the opinion, "It's mine, and I can play with it if I want to!" I think every boy has that fascination with his dick. It just feels good touching and playing with it!
My parents were "renters," and we moved to another home about every two years or less. I never understood their constant moving way of life, as I was always making new friends at another new school each time, and then suddenly we were gone. However, this did give me more dicks to look at as I grew up.
I believe people are simply born gay and have no other choice in the matter. But we do learn early that looking at other people's genitals is frowned upon. We may try to be straight, yet can not get those gay thoughts out of our minds. Today I know some people realize they are gay from day one, and admit it to everyone. They deserve a lot of credit for being so brave.
The decades of the fifties and sixties were not safe for gays, no matter where you lived. Still, I dreamed about cocks and other sexual activities in my sleep! I wanted to suck a dick, but didn't have the balls to try it. Or, for that matter, to even talk about it when I was awake.
I also believe there are millions of guys that call themselves straight, but if given the right opportunity, in the right circumstances, would love to try sucking a dick! And fully half of them would never admit it was better than they could have imagined. Even so, many would deny themselves another suck simply because of the fear of being found out. I can understand that.
In our sleep, however, we can be what we want to be. That is why our dreams are so vivid and take us closer to those blissful feelings. In the light of day, however, most of us learn quickly not to act or be gay in the presence of others.
Personally, I dreamed of boys and their dicks from the age of ten, and still do to this day. Mostly, my dreams center around young boys from the ages of about fourteen to eighteen. The reason for that age preference, I guess, it that is the time of my life that I enjoyed the most. Or it could be because we really start to realize just how good sex can be at that age of growing up!
High school and boys locker rooms were a great scene and smell. To this day I love to smell those locker room scents. For me, that opportunity has only come a few times, and it was not at a school. Some health clubs also have that smell.
Today, I am not trying to meet young boys like I just mentioned. It is just how I dream when I have those gay fantasies. I suppose you might say I'm still young at heart. Maybe all of us are young at heart in our minds. I think I'm young until I find I can't quite do the things I did so easily just yesterday!
At about six years old, I started looking and touching my brother's dick to see if it looked exactly like my own and to explore the feel of it. I also looked at his butt as well. Why? I just liked looking and learning about things when I could. I wondered if my body was just like his and I began wondering about other kids' bodies as well.
I never went further than looking with my brother. I was not really sexually active at that time. I never thought about putting his dick in my mouth or my dick in his ass. Those thoughts were still a few years away. I think I was just becoming more inquisitive during that stage of my life.
After a few sessions with my brother, my five year old cousin Carol, who was the same age as my brother, came over to visit us at our house. I was six--almost seven--and my brother was five years old.
I suggested playing "doctor" in our bedroom. They were just as interested in this as I was. Imagine my surprise when the girl took off her panties and I saw my first pussy! She did not have a dick like my brother and I! WOW!
That was very interesting to me as a young boy. We all looked closely at each other's genitals, and our play also involved touching and smelling. This was the only time we ever did this. I was somehow hoping for a repeat of this doctor- patient play someday. It never happened.
I tried to put my finger in my cousin's pussy but it seemed too dry for finger penetration. I tried prying it open with fingers of both hands to see where her "pee pee" was in that cavity. I just knew she had one, but I couldn't see it or find it, so I stopped trying to put my finger in her pussy.
I knew she had to pee through that hole somehow, but I just could not see where the pee came from other than it must have come through that huge slit.
I thought she had a dick up inside that cavity and naturally, I wanted to see it. How ignorant we can be as kids! Still, I learned for my first time, up to that point, that a girl must somehow be very different from boys. I made it a point to find out more about girls in the future.
With these things learned, and another opportunity ahead, I might know more about girls and their bodies.
Just a few days later, I set out to confirm for myself, just how girls were different from us, and the way to do that would be to check out another girl. I talked my next door neighbor girl, who was my age and in my class at school, to let me play doctor with her as well. That was my method of talking her into my idea of furthering my discoveries. We all had been to many doctor visits and everyone knows you always have to take off all your clothes for the doctor. And now I was going to be the doctor!
This time the setting was somewhat different. We were on the my front porch of my house, which was one of those real old Frank Lloyd Wright homes. It was the kind with a three-foot wall on the lower part of the porch, and it had screens to keep out the "skeeters" (mosquitoes). Both of us were short in height anyway, so the wall gave us plenty of privacy. Somehow we, or maybe I, knew we were doing something wrong too, and it was important that we not be seen!
The physical design of the house gave us privacy to the street and neighbors, but my mother could have looked out the windows anytime and seen us. However, I could hear she was in the back of the house.
We both got naked. Sure enough, her pussy looked exactly like my cousin's. To me, girls' pussies all look exactly the same when they are young, yet boys' dicks are already different looking.
She was somewhat interested in seeing or feeling my cock and she did touch it a few times. I was glad to find out she was okay with all I was suggesting we do.
I thought about it, and then said to her, "Hey, let's try to put my dick in your pussy." Of course, those were not the words I actually said to her!
Surprisingly, she was in agreement about everything I suggested we do. She did all she could to help me get it in her pussy. That led me to believe that even girls want to experiment and think about sex just like boys, or she would have said "no" and run away from me.
I also did not in any way use physical force or words to keep her there, and that also told me she was really into what we were doing. In fact, as I remember, she really seemed to like my ideas of what I kept suggesting we do next.
I also took the time to look and see if she had a penis inside her cavity. Nope, it was just like my cousin's!
I began to think about putting my dick in her pussy. However, as I tried to put my soft dick in her dry pussy, I was forced to realize this is not exactly going to work as I thought it would. My penis just would not penetrate her. I was pissed off, at myself, but I didn't know why. However, I was positive that my penis should be able to go in there! I wanted my dick in her pussy so bad, it actually saddened me when I realized it was not going to happen.
At the time, I simply did not really understand the biological reasons why it would not work. But I somehow knew there had to be a reason as to why my dick would not go in! I had no idea then that our dicks got hard when it was time for sex with a girl. Of course, I really knew almost nothing at all about sex; how was I to know at six years old?
Still, I kept thinking about it over and over. I thought maybe I could tie a stick on it so it would be stiff enough to go up inside her pussy. What a stupid thought. Are you laughing with me or at me now?
All of this so far, had just been a learning experience for my own education. It was not about anything else at that time of my life.
The girl went home, and told her mother about what we had been doing. I guess she thought it was cool and something to be proud of. Her mother wasted no time coming over to my house to tell my mother what I had done with her daughter.
I was still on the porch thinking about what had just transpired. Inside the house, I could hear her mother ream both me and my mother out about what I had done to her daughter! That woman was really pissed off, yet my mother never mentioned anything to me about the incident after the lady went home.
Later, and even months later, I wondered why my mom did not tell me boys six years old did not do things like that with girls.
**************
It was a full two years later, at eight years old, I found out that was how sex really happens. I learned how close to right I was a couple of years earlier.
By the age of eight, we had moved away to another house where two neighbor brothers started talking about guys fucking girls. I had no idea what they were saying about fucking! I must have appeared really stupid to them because I did not know or really understand what was being said. They both laughed and said "You really don't know about sex at all, do you?"
I admitted I did not, even as I was thinking about the front porch girl. Again, why? I guess the conversation that we were having was distracting my thoughts faster than my mind could cope with them. It just did not come to my mind quick enough for me to remember all about that earlier time on the porch.
The brothers proceeded to explain all about the birds and the bees to me. Then, they explained that boys dicks do get hard enough to have sex with girls! For some strange reason, my dick now started to get hard in my pants for the first time in my life! It actually scared me somewhat at the time.
So at last the realization hit me. Yes, a boy's dick does get hard and it does go in a girls pussy for sure. That proved to me I was on the right track two years before. I began to think about why my dick did not get hard on the porch while the brothers gave me my first real sex lesson.
I did not tell the brothers about my porch session with the girl until much later. For some reason I was afraid or maybe even ashamed to bring it up at that time.
As a boy growing up in the 50s, the boys' bathrooms at school had four foot tall urinals built into the wall, and they went all the way down to the floor. This gave me many opportunities to see my classmates' dicks as we pissed.
I was amazed when I saw my first uncut cock. I had no idea a dick was in that shroud of skin! Learning that, I began to try constantly to see more cocks to learn the amazing differences boys dicks can have. They came in red, brown, white, and purple colors. Even the white boys' dicks came in a range of colors! Some were darker, some were lighter, they were different in width and overall thickness, cut or uncut, shorter or longer--the differences just seemed to make me more interested and I longed even more to see the next one. All my classmates at that time were either white or Mexican.
About this time, boys started to become really attractive to me. I especially wanted to see their cocks. It was not cool to like girls at that age anyway. So I thought my looking was okay. That was until I got caught looking.
As I got caught looking at my classmates' dicks, I was reproached by them as being a queer. That was the term for gays at that time, or for anyone who looked at another boy's dick.
This information started my lessons on gays or queers and being heterosexual verses homosexual. I wondered how they knew about queers, and I did not--at least not until I was caught looking at cocks and was told I was queer. So, I then learned another tough thing about life. Don't get caught looking!
Not long after that reprimand, I started to think about putting a boy's dick in my mouth. My good friend and schoolmate saw one of my encounters in the boys' room. He and his brother were the ones that had taught me the birds and bees lesson.
After school one day he taught me about the things queers did to each other. I then learned another great lesson in life.
I really did not know that putting a boy's dick in your mouth was called a blow job. But I definitely learned from him it was! Now I had something else to think about--sucking a dick!
I was told that queers as they were called back in the fifties and into the sixties, most definitely liked to suck cock! I learned the meaning of corn holing, too.
During this time it was made obvious it was not morally acceptable to be gay or queer. Queers or homosexual kids learned quickly it was not cool to be homosexual or you could get your ass beat by the homophobic bullies.
As you hear about queers more and more you get paranoid about yourself and wonder why you like boys more instead of girls more. This makes you go into the closet and keep your mouth shut about anything to do with cocks and even talking about cocks with anyone. Sometimes, you are still not sure you're totally different than the other boys--maybe just more "inquisitive" would be the right term. But it just seems weird to you that you see boys as being handsome and beautiful, as much as girls are.
I once stated I thought that a certain boy was handsome, and the guy with me said "Are you queer to say such a thing? You must be gay!" It took a lot of fast talk to get him to believe I was not queer or gay, so I just kept hiding the truth.
You ask yourself more and more, "Why am I liking boys more than girls?" So you tell yourself to look at girls and see the beauty in them and why you need to be heterosexual.
***********
I eventually turned ten years old and was in the fifth grade.
I did like looking at the girls I thought were beautiful. I also started to think I would love to fuck a girl and eat her pussy. Still I was not aware and had not learned that some people are what was called "bisexual."
I now realize that at that time I really was bisexual. I had not yet sucked a dick. I liked both sexes until I was about fifty years old. Now, however, only dicks will satisfy my sexual craving. I am still married and have been for over forty years, but there is no sex between my wife and myself any longer. Her pussy just does not excite me enough to keep my cock hard. Only a cock will get me up and keep me hard!
When I was ten years old my parents moved to another area yet again, and so I found myself in yet another school.
In the fifth grade I became friends with a boy named Jim. We hung around together at school only, but that was because he lived too far from me to visit his house.
He did however, come to my house a few times, because he and his brother were more adventuresome and had no restrictions on where they could go after school.
A year later, my parents moved still again. But this time, we moved about a half block from my friend Jim. This was the first time I really enjoyed moving! It also meant I was not going to change schools again.
I was born in August and Jim was born in September the same year, so we were really close in age. But now because we also lived so close to each to each other, we became even closer buddies and friends. We shared every secret and we did whatever we could do together. It seemed there were times we read each others minds!
I was not attracted to him, like I was to some of the other boys at our school that I thought were beautiful and really good looking. Jim was good looking, but he did not cause me to look at him like I did other boys. Nor did he make me want to suck his dick like I wanted to do with the good looking boys at school.
In fact, I dreamed of sucking the good looking boys' dicks all the time, and I secretly wished I could somehow seduce them. I really did try thinking of ways to seduce them, sort of like "You show me yours, and I'll show you mine." But I was to scared to say it to any of them.
When I was with Jim, we always just whipped our dicks out to pee when we were outside playing, and usually we faced each other. We all did that--sometimes as many as six of us boys together. Of course we were not seen by people in the neighborhood, and we did it whenever nature called.
I now think we actually liked looking at the other boys' cocks as we peed. We also liked bragging, "My dick is bigger than yours," even though none of our dicks were really bigger unless we happened to be hanging out as we sometimes did with boys that were a couple of years older than us. Urinating together, why else would we do it except to see each others' dicks? like that. At school, it would have been a real taboo to put your dick on display so openly.
Once, about six boys from our neighborhood decided we were going to jack off together with these two weird looking brothers. The brothers wore these super thick glasses and we had always jokingly called them "four eyes." The brothers had a huge shed in their back yard that we could use for our jerking off.
We did our best to avoid having to play with them most of the time because of the way they talked and acted, but it had nothing to do with their looks, though. The brothers acted scared of their own shadow! They seemed to always be paranoid about something.
I honestly had never done this jack off thing, and had no real inkling what you really did when you jacked off, I only heard the expression, "You're a jack off." I had no idea what "jack off" even meant, really, other than it was sometimes used as a derogatory term for your buddies.
I was now going to learn another thing about life and sex!
My buddy said "Just watch us, and you will learn." Still, I was apprehensive and scared to show my cock because I was afraid it was smaller than theirs. I was always worried my dick was too small. I had never removed my pants and briefs around anyone besides my brother and parents. Even so, my dick was hard just thinking about the things we were about to do. I would also get to see more cocks and balls without clothes covering them, and up close, too!
As it turned out my dick was like all of theirs, normal in size and shape, and compared nicely with all of them. The only one who was a bit different was the youngest boy who was ten years old.
I quickly found out something else new--that there "showers" and "growers," and I'm a grower! I later learned this is, in fact, a normal thing for many of us guys. My dick can be so small when soft. When it is cold, it practically goes up inside my body, leaving only the head looking out!
It scares the hell out of me sometimes when this happens. I guess I fear it will never grow big again! I still wonder how this miracle can happen to me, but it does!
When I was fourteen, it was only six inches long when hard, and I feel I'm normal in thickness. My dick about a silver dollar size in girth--about five inches around, or one and a half inches thick. It still amazes me how something so small can grow so large from what it is at its resting stage or when it is cold outside.
Yes, I know there are guys with dicks over two inches wide and eight to nine inches long or longer. Those are not normal, and I'm quite happy with what I have! Remember the old saying, "More than a mouthful is a waste!"
I've learned a lot about dicks since I was five years old!
So, back to my story. The six of us did this jerking off thing about a half dozen times together, before the brothers with the only safe place to play with our dicks, said their shed was too scary to accommodate our play. We had to stop this or find another place to get together.
They were afraid their dad was going to catch us. The brothers were pansies most of the time. We often kidded them about the things they were scared of. Besides, you could see someone coming a hundred feet away, and that would have given us more than enough time to get dressed like nothing was going on.
Yet on this first day and time we all removed our pants and shorts and were kind of lying in a circle so we could see each other as we jerked our cocks.
It was a turn on for me looking at each boy's dick and the technique each one used to jerk himself off. And even my buddy admitted it turned him on, too.
The first time I did it, it was such an awesome. tingling feeling when I came, but no jizz came out. It was like a little electric shock to my penis when my orgasm hit me for my first time. We laughed and talked about how good it felt.
My buddy had the same experience as I did, just that tingly feeling. Still, it was just a few minutes later that I was to learn another thing about cumming! We found out we had to do this often and wanted more of that tingly feeling.
My buddy's older brother, who was the instigator for this first jerk off session, came all over the floor just a few minutes after we had our tingly feelings.
We were in awe of him shooting white cum from his penis onto the floor, because he had been standing and we were laying on the floor. My buddy's brother had explained to us, the first time nothing usually cums out, and that only that tingly feeling occurs. And we thought that was an awesome feeling just by itself!
He claimed to have been producing cum for a couple of years already! As time went on, he became a real girl chaser, getting girls pregnant and running from his duty to support the babies.
For me, my buddy, and the other boys, this experience was a newfound thrill! We had to do more of this jacking off thing in the future. We had to do more experimenting to satisfy our newly found sex drives.
The brother boys stopped jerking off early that first time and every time we did it. They did not cum ever, nor did they seem to want to. They always acted scared. They only participated in about six sessions with us. I've told you they were kind of weird guys anyway!
The sixth guy was my buddy's young cousin who seemed to love hanging around us older guys. He also loved to get naked with just me and my buddy Jim. We included him in all our jerk sessions whenever he was around.
His cock was very bent and that was how I learned of peyronies in dicks. Of course the cousin jacked with us every chance he got to be with us but he never did cum that I remember.
We accepted it as normal for the three of us to jack off together during this time in our lives. My buddy's brother only did it about three times with us after the first time.
On our second session in the brother's shed a few days later, I spurted my first huge load of white cum so far it went past my head as it squirted out. The other boys and I saw it and joked and laughed about it, as it looked like I might get hit in the face with the jizz. I don't remember ever having my cum spurt so far after that first time.
It has landed close to my chin a few times, but that day was the farthest it ever squirted! I always hoped whenever we jacked that it would land in my open mouth, but it never did. Still, every time that I jacked off I told myself, "This time I'm going to taste it!"
I was fifty-three years old before I tasted cum! Now that was weird! For years I was afraid to even taste it after I shot my load, thinking it was gross.
My buddy and I jacked off at least twice a day together until we were 18 years old and he left for the Army. Even after his return we went right back to our secret jerks between us. Either he or I would start it by reaching over and grabbing each other's dick through our jeans. That started our cocks growing, and it was not going to stop till we jerked ourselves to completion.
Sometimes we jerked off three and four times in a day. Never could we get to five and we talked about the fact that it was going to happen, but we never made it to that number.
My buddy's dick looked exactly like my own whether it was soft or hard. Both our cocks were cut, and that started to get me interested in sucking his dick when we were fourteen years old. In my mind's eye, it would be like sucking my own cock, something I so wanted to do.
However, I never said a word about wanting to suck his cock. Like the other guys we knew, he too was always talking about the queers we knew at school. That scared me into not admitting to him that I was really gay.
The queer acting boys at school really did act different then, and they had voices like girls. It was obvious they were gay and we were not going to talk to them or associate with them in any way. Funny how our minds work about such things.
***********
One hot July night, my buddy suggested we pitch a tent in his yard and sleep outside. We put blankets over his mother's clothes drying line attached to the house and a pole out in the yard. It was cool doing this as it would be my first time doing an outside tent sleep over. I had never been camping. The tent was about thirty feet from the house, far enough so his parents wouldn't hear us talking.
As we lay there talking like we normally did, we mentioned girls from school we would like to fuck. At twelve and thirteen we dreamed of that, but we knew it was never going to happen. It was just fodder for our conversations and jerk sessions.
We were always jerking each other's dick at any time we could get away from other people, be it day or night. So this night was no different. It was probably eleven o'clock at night, as we lay naked jerking off in our neat home made tent.
We started talking about sex of all kinds. We were both horny as all hell. Jim suggested we should try kissing each other to develop a good technique when we did get ourselves a girlfriend.
I thought about this for a while. I was afraid he would out me if I agreed too quickly. I finally said yes to his idea, as I wanted to see what it really was like to kiss someone else. I had never kissed a girl either at this time.
We both agreed if we did this we would never tell anyone what we had done. We did the regular kiss for a few seconds and then again over and over till we both agreed we had our technique down good.
I found myself enjoying kissing him! In fact, it was turning me on! Then he suggested we try French kissing. So we stuck our tongues in each other's mouths for quite some time until we felt we had also mastered this technique.
By this time we felt safe with each other about never talking about this stuff with anyone. He then suggested we fuck each other's butts. I was really into this idea. We had no lube except spit, but that worked for us. I went first by spitting on my fingers and working it into his ass. It felt good as I slowly put one finger in, then two fingers, and finally, I inserted three fingers in his pink rosebud asshole that looked so very sexy to me. At that time we knew nothing about rimming. If we had, we might have gone there as well.
After lubing and stretching his butt out with my fingers, I spit on my cock and slowly started to penetrate his asshole with the head of my cock while he laid on his stomach. He was yelping, "It hurts! It hurts!" But we agreed to keep going till I had my dick all the way in his rosebud hole. Still, he complained that it felt like a turd was ready to be shit out!
After he got used to my dick in his ass, however, he said, "Go for it." I pumped him slowly at first, then faster and faster. The feelings of my dick in his ass was awesome.
Our horny excitement was tremendous as I pumped his ass for a couple of minutes, and finally I pulled out and squirted cum all over his back and butt. The feelings were fantastic.
Now it was his turn to fuck me. The feeling of his finger going in my hole was great. It was better as he did two, then three fingers, as he pumped my butt with his fingers. I could not wait any longer for his dick to be in me, so he put his dick head to my hole and started pushing in. Slowly it went in, and finally, he was in all the way. It felt just like he had said about his butt getting fucked--it felt exactly like I needed to take a shit.
When he was in all the way, we stayed still as he rested on my back and kissed my neck. His kissing my neck was very sexy to me. Today, in 2011, I suspect that we really were gay at that time. We just kept denying to ourselves that we were.
Slowly the pain and full feeling in my ass subsided. As Jim then started slowly in and out, the feelings went over the top for me. I knew then I wanted to be on the bottom for life. He pumped me for a few minutes and said he was ready to cum. I said "Go on and fill my butt with your cum! I want your baby!" (Not really! I was only joking.)
He almost lost it with laughing while simultaneously trying to cum in my ass. The wet, warm feeling of his cum was awesome to me. It leaked out all over our bottom blankets and soaked them. The feelings of fucking a butt or getting your own butt fucked are some of the best feelings a guy can ever experience. We were spent by this time so we agreed it was time to rest and get some sleep.
I knew I had to do this again in the future. He and I did do it a few more times after this, but finally stopped because my buddy said he did not like doing this any longer. I wanted him to continue doing me, but he refused. Even if he would not do it with me, I know I was going to do this again sometime in my future.
I still like to get butt fucked.
***********
Jim and I agreed to camp out again the following night. We giddily talked about how good our previous night's sex was. We knew we were going to have to try all this sex stuff all over again.
As we again were in our tent talking about what we had done the night before, he turned and said to me, "Suck my dick!" I said, "No, you suck mine!" Bantering back and forth for quite some time about who had to start the sucking. I guess up until this time we both thought what we had been doing was not gay, just normal experimentation.
We really were both wanting to suck a dick I think, and I believe that to this day in my life. Both of us wanted a blow job, but we both were afraid the other guy was going to tell our friends that the other guy was gay! He kept saying to me that if he sucked my dick, I'd tell on him. I promised I would not tell, but I think he was still afraid to get caught, just like I was also afraid of him telling on me.
Still we argued back and forth about who would make the first move. We eventually agreed that we would sixty nine, and both of us would suck on the count of three. We both waited for the other to start the suck on the count of three. We must have done this ten times, yet never put our lips or tongue on the others dick. Finally, we agreed to just kiss each other's dickhead which eventually we did. We kissed dick heads quite a few times after the first time.
Then we said we had to put the others dick in our mouths. I did his, but he was a long time in doing mine, Eventually, he did do it. I was scared I had gone over the top and too far, and he was now going to out me. Yet nothing was ever said about what we had done.
We never did more than just a few seconds of dick in mouth. Even today, though, I wish I had gone ahead and sucked his dick. I think he would have done me, too, but part of me is not exactly sure about that. No one wants to be accused of being gay in public even to this day in 2011, but especially not back in 1956.
A part of me was afraid he would tell on me, and I'm sure he was also scared that I might tell on him.
I had now experimented with my first inauguration into dick sucking, but it was not really a good suck.
Remember, Jim and I were friends a long, long time. We both had opportunities to out the other, but I think we were both afraid of outing ourselves if we said anything at all about those times in our lives.
Even when we turned eighteen we never mentioned those times in the tent to each other. Why, I wonder today?
We still talk now and then on the phone, but we never mention our teenage years and our sex together. Perhaps if we meet someday, we still might finish that suck session. We only live about fifteen hundred miles apart.
I now believe we both were gay but would not admit it at that time to each other or even ourselves! We're both married with kids but sometimes in all reality, I feel it's to cover that we were both gay. What we did as kids was enough to prove to me we were gay, anyway! In fact, I know I am!
I knew I would have to suck a dick some day as his cock was so soft yet hard and such a fantastic feeling and taste when I did put his dick in my mouth for just that one or two seconds of time!
As I said earlier, it was not until I was fifty-three years old that I sucked my first dick! Hard to believe, but it's true. Even so, I'm now a confirmed dick sucker for life!
Do you wonder if you were like me and so scared of what society would do or say if you were caught? So many other guys were really into dick sucking when they were young. And they look and talk like every other straight guy we know! How was it I was scared of being outed, but those guys knew how to get other guys to do mutual suck sessions?
I sure do wish at sixteen I knew how they did it and how they were into dicks long before I got my first suck! If I were alone with a guy, he could have asked me if I wanted to get sucked, to which I would have said "yes," and then I would have loved to suck him too!
Posted: 08/26/11