Taking Texas By Storm
by: E Walk
(© 2009 by the Author)
 

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Chapter 27 

Anatomy 101

When we got back to the house, Dieter and I unloaded the groceries while Allie was putting them where he wanted them.  When the van was empty, I went to find Brahim.  He was still studying.  “Bra, don’t you think you should stop studying.  You’ll do just fine.”

“Ed, this is my first big test, and I sure don’t want to mess it up.”

“There’s such a thing as being too well prepared.  You have yourself psyched so high that you start second guessing yourself.  Close down for tonight.  Let’s go to bed and relax.  It’s time to have some fun.  You go take your shower first and then I’ll take one.”

As I walked into the kitchen, I heard Allie say, “Let’s go get unpacked and then we can take showers tonight to save time in the morning.”

Dieter looked confused, “Where am I going in the morning?”

Allie giggled, “We can’t trust you here by yourself, so you’re going to school with me.”

“Allie, aren’t I a little old to be going to school with you?”

“The older the better.  The kids will eat it up having a big brother there to help them.  You can help me mentor Mikey.  If you get bored, you can always come back to the house and do whatever teenagers do best.”

I went into the bedroom and was unpacking Bra’s and my suitcases when Bra returned from the bathroom looking oh so delectable.  “Ed, I’ll finish the unpacking.  Go get your shower so we can have our playtime that you promised me.”

After I finished my shower and was drying my hair, I walked to Allie’s room.  “Okay, men, the shower is free.”

As I was walking to Bra’s and my bedroom, I heard Dieter saying, “Allie, does Mr. Waller always walk around nude.”

I stopped to hear what Allie would say, “Only when there aren’t any women in the house.  We have a you can look and see but don’t tell policy in this house.”

“Allie, I’m nineteen years old and I’ve never seen my Dad naked.”

“Did it bother you to see my Dad naked?”

“No, but I realize that perhaps I have nothing to be ashamed of.  I’ve always been afraid that I was lacking in the penis and testicle department.”

I could almost see the evil look in Allie’s eyes, “Get undressed and I’ll tell you if you need to be worried or not.  I’ve seen enough men to know what normal is.”

Dieter took a deep breath, “You mean, you’ve had sex with men.”
 

“Not in this lifetime.  It’s too bad that people seem to think that they have to keep what they’re carrying in their briefs out of sight of young people.  We’ll find ways to check you guys out, I don’t know what the big secret is.  We know your going to be bigger than us younger guys.  Why shouldn’t we be interested in what we should look like when we get older.  Get rid of your clothes so there’s no more mysteries while you’re here.”

It was extremely quiet and finally Allie said, “Very nice, Dieter, you don’t have the biggest penis I’ve ever seen and you certainly aren’t the smallest.  I would classify you as a little above average.”

Dieter mumbled, “Allie, you’re absolutely evil.”

Allie giggled, “Nope, just honest.  Now, get your shower.”

I ducked into the bedroom and watched as Dieter went into the bathroom.  I must say that I had to completely agree with Allie’s assessment of Dieter’s sexual endowments.

I looked at Bra lying on the bed and had a sudden desire to ravage his body so bad that we wouldn’t have any trouble to going to sleep.  I did and we were awakened the next morning by someone knocking at the door.  I figured it was probably Allie so I called out, “Come in.”

Allie opened the door, “Dad, you should be getting up.  Mr. Gomez is going to be here before too long.”

I looked at the alarm clock and it was almost six thirty.  “Allie, why are you already up?”

“Dieter was hogging the bed and snoring so loud that I had to get up.”

Dieter came into the room with a cup of coffee, “Allie said that you would need this to get you jump started.  Don’t you people ever wear clothes.”

Bra rolled over so he could be seen in his magnificent splendor, “Only when we have to.”

Allie giggled, “Come on, Dieter.  Dad and Bra are exhibitionists.  They believe if you have it you should flaunt it.”

I looked at Bra, “Love, me thinks your brother needs a good whipping.  He acts more like an adult than some adults I know.”

When I walked into the kitchen, Allie and Dieter were sitting at the breakfast bar in their briefs.  Allie looked at me, “Dad, please leave the keys to the SUV for Dieter, in case I forgot something.”

I looked at the stove, “Allie, what’s cooking?”

“Dad, I decided to cook the potatoes and macaroni for the meal tonight so they would have a chancee to cool down, so Dieter can make the salads when he gets home from school, when he gets bored.”

Dieter laughed, “Don’t believe him, Mister Waller, I’ll probably wind up in detention and will be late getting home.”

The ride to work was a fun time and my parking space had been moved next to President Odom’s.  Juan asked, “How come your space got changed?”

“Beats me.  I guess they figure they can keep track of the two of us easier this way, since everyone seems to be trying to retaliate.  Guys, tell the team that we won’t be having our staff meeting until later today.  I want to be in the Contracting Division, to make sure that the transition goes smoothly.”

We were getting out of the car when Mr. Odom pulled in his car that had to be at least ten years old.  “Good morning, men.  I hope you’re ready for another fun filled week.  Ed, how was New York?”

“Sir, my guys may string Mrs. Carr up at the first opportunity that they have.  She not only had them perform at a benefit on Saturday night, she had them singing in church, yesterday.”

“Melanie can be a little demanding, sometimes.  Do you think it’s safe for us to go in via the main entrance?” 

Greg answered, “With everything that has been happening, I think it would be advisable for the two of you to continue to go into the building via the side door.”

After we had cleared security, President Odom and I walked to the Pit Stop.  President Odom asked, “Am I imagining things or has the Pit Stop been moved?”

After we had our drinks and bagels and we were sitting down, I noticed most of people standing around watching.  I felt as if I was undressed or something.  President Odom was looking around, “Oh my Gawd, your people have outdone themselves, this time.  Not only have they created The Fish Bowl, they have live aquariums in place.  What time is the staff meeting this morning?”

I started to laugh, “My people never cease to amaze me.  They can move mountains when no one else can move an ant hill.  I need to make sure that the Contracting Division new chiefs don’t have to duck for cover.  I’ll have Tammy call when we can get everyone together.”

When Robin, Nancy and I arrived at the contracting office, I was surprised to see how many people were there waiting to get in.  At eight o’clock, we called those assembled together and I started to speak to them. “For those of you who don’t know who I am, I’m Ed Waller, Executive Assistant to President Odom.  The Contracting Division now falls under my umbrella.  It gives me great pleasure to introduce the new chief of the division, Mr. Robin Sheraton.  He will be capably assisted by his executive assistant, Ms Nancy Patterson.”

“They will be running a very different operation than Mr. Sheraton’s predecessor.  If I even hear rumors of kickbacks being involved in the awarding of contracts, the entire department will be shut down.  Mr. Sheraton, I need to visit with you in my office as soon as you have time.”

I went to my office and Tammy was spring loaded, “Mr. Waller, there have been so many calls that I stopped taking messages.  President Odom stopped in and wanted to know what time the staff meeting was going to be.”

“Tammy, call the team and tell them that we’ll be meeting at one o’clock.  I need to get some things done.  Where is everyone?”

“Who knows.  They all left here as if the were on I Spy missions.  Would you tell Oz to knock it off?  He’s going to cause a lot of divorces if he continues to make people work on the weekend.  You people are all workaholics.”

I was making progress on my calls and paperwork when the door burst open and Ms. Sanders, Mrs. Crabtree and Mrs. Carr entered unannounced.  Ms Sander pointed at me, “Boy, you’re working too hard.  We’ve come to take you to lunch.”

I stood, “Ladies, I regret to inform you that I’m forbidden to leave the premises.  We’ll have to eat downstairs at the Fish Bowl or Pit Stop since it’s too late to make reservations for the executive dining room.”

Ms Sanders pouted, “You’re asking me to eat with the plebeians.  My reputation will be shattered if people see us eating in a place like that.”

The three ladies were wowed when they saw what Oz had been able to accomplish with the help of others.  As we were eating at the Pit Stop, Mrs. Carr asked, “What’s Dieter going to be doing while Allie and Brahim are at school?”

I chuckled, “When I left the house this morning, Dieter and Allie were cooking potatoes and macaroni and Allie was taking Dieter to school with him for show and tell.  I’m sure that Dieter won’t be too bored.”

Mrs. Crabtree commented, “I find it interesting that Allie was able to convince Dieter to come here.  It was as if he pulled his head into his shell after Pieter’s death.”

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Odom,  “Well, well, well what do we have here the spinsters who have nothing to do.  Ed, you need to be careful about being seen with these ladies in public, or people will begin to talk.  Mind if I join you while I eat my sandwich?”

I went and got another chair and brought it to the table.  President Odom started to eat and mentioned, “Ed, my wife and I had a call this morning from Allie, inviting us to dinner tonight?  What’s the occasion?”

I held up my arms, “Nothing special, these three ladies have been invited, as well as Doctor Joanne Cochran and her two sons, who invited themselves.  My parents will be here and Allie has a guest from Greenwich, Connecticut staying with us this week.”

“First off, how do you know Joanne, and second why would her two sons invite themselves?  Tom and Ted almost never socialize, unless they‘re forced too.  I just happen to be their godfather.”

Mrs. Carr started to laugh, “Adam, it’s a long story.  We’ll tell you tonight at dinner.  I understand that you are expected to attend Ed’s staff meeting.  Ed, we’ll see you tonight when the slave driver let’s you get home.”

As President Odom and I were walking to the elevator, he shook his head, “Ed, I don’t understand how your people were able to get everything done over the weekend.”

“Nor do I, sir.  I guess we will need to see what comes up at the staff meeting.”

When we walked into the office, everyone was already in the conference  room.  When Ozzie saw us, he stood. “Please rise, the royal majesties have decided to come talk to us poor laboring peons.”

“Knock it off, peon, I've been here all day and no one has seen a trace or hair of you.  Mr. Thompson, since you seem to have some things on your mind, why don’t you explain as to how you people got the Fish Bowl ready over the weekend.  When I departed on Friday afternoon, it didn’t sound as if it would be possible.”

Oz glared at me, “Well, for starters, Mr. Jensen figured out a way to get around the load bearing walls, so we could put aquariums in the openings.”

Mr. Odom asked, “This project must be costing the company a bundle of money.”

“The only money that this project is costing the company is the overtime pay that Steve’s people who worked on Saturday to cut the openings and refinish the walls will receive.  Since I couldn’t get in touch with either of you, I called Vice-president Reed and he authorized the expenditures.  Not only that, he wrote a check to cover the expenditures for the fish tanks and aquarium fixtures.  His only stipulation was that the Fish Bowl be named the Reed Fish Bowl.”

Oz wasn’t finished, “The plaque for the naming will be here for tomorrow, when you announce that he is retiring.”

President Odom looked at Oz, “What else is there that you know that you haven’t shared, Mr. Thompson?”

“We’ve arranged for a big farewell celebration party to be held in the foyer, after your luncheon, so the employees can say goodbye to Mr. Reed.  I have two more issues to put on the table.  Tripp is threatening to divorce me, if I don’t stop working all the time.  I need to turn the day to day managing of the house cleaning department  over to someone.”

I looked at Oz, “Oz, do you mean to tell me that Vice-president Reed paid for the fish in the aquariums as we as well as the equipment?”

“Not exactly, Tripp and I have a friend who works for the Houston Aquarium and we conned him into giving us some fish to put on display if we would put a plaque mentioning the Aquarium.  Not only that, he’s going to send one of his people to clean the tanks every Monday and Friday.  We have to pay for the fish food.  There is a donation box for the funds for the food at both entrances to the fishbowl.  We received enough in donations today to be able to feed the critters for at least a week.”

I sat back in my chair, “I don’t suppose you have anyone in mind to handle the cleaning crews when you are paying games with Tripp?”

“As a matter of fact, Mr. Waller, I do,  In fact, I asked Big Mama to be here about now.  Hildegard Russell is the person I would like for you hire to relieve me of all the stress and strain that I’ve been under.”

I envisioned a large woman who looked as if she could take on a tag team of wrestlers.  When Oz brought the lady in, she was anything but that.  She was dressed in a nice business suit.

Oz introduced her, “This is Mrs. Hildegard Russell.  She's married to a copper and has five teenagers she’s supporting.  She’s driving her kids nuts by being home all the time.  Actually, she was the head of the Hilton Hotel Cleaning Staff when there was a big shake up and she was caught in the middle of some problems between staff members who have since been sent walking”

I looked at the lady and had my reservations, “Mrs. Russell, you do understand that you would be working evenings five nights a week  as Mr. Thompson has the schedule set now.  That would mean you would be working evenings Sunday through Thursday.  Would that be a problem?”

“Why would that be a problem?  That schedule would coincide with my husband’s schedule on the police force.  But I do need to ask how much I would be making, if I were to consider coming to work here full time?  I get the feeling that it would be at a minimum wage, and that ain’t going to entice me to take the job.”

I looked at President Odom and he put up his hands to tell me it was my option.  I wrote down a figure and took it to the lady, “This is what you would be making if you were to decide to go to work for us here at Shell.”

Mrs. Russell looked at the figure, “Mr. Waller, this is a misprint isn’t it?”

“No ma’am, the take home pay will depend on what options you take when you sign the contract, but you will need to go to the Human Relations and Finance Departments to take care of the details.”

Mrs. Russell stood, “Come on, Oscar, you got me into this mess so you can show me where I need to go.”

Everyone around the table started to laugh.  President Odom asked, “Does that mean Tripp’s real name is Ernie?”

“As a matter of fact, it is.  But the next person to call us by those names may wind up in the hospital.”

To be continued...

Editor's Notes:  The funny thing is that I never thought of Oz as a grouch.

I don't believe it! I think we have gone through a whole chapter without having Ed fire anyone.  I also noticed that no one tried to shoot anyone in this chapter, either.  No wonder there is going to be a celebration.

It really is nice that Dieter is having such a good time.  It looks as if Allie is still doing his magic. 

See, you don't always have to have something terrible happen, to make us want to read the next chapter.  We will be here, ready for more, whenever you have more for us.

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Posted: 05/14/10