We Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
by: E Walk
(© 2008 by the Author)
 

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Chapter 18

Who’s the Biggest

Hank and I took a shower and were reclined on the sofa watching some college football bowl game.  Neither of us were big football fans, but there wasn’t anything else on television.   We had decided that it was still too early to get really comfortable, so we had each put on pajama bottoms and a tee shirt.  It’s a good thing we did.

It was almost eight o’clock when there was someone knocking on the bedroom door.  Hank called out, “Come in, come in, whoever you are.”

Danny and David came in, “Granddads, the big boys are arguing and making noises so we can’t go to sleep.   They want you to come and help settle the argument.”

I got concerned, “Danny, what are they arguing about?”

Danny looked a little sheepish, “They are comparing their penises, as  they call them, to see who is the biggest.  They want you to bring a ruler or a tape measure to determine who is the biggest.”

Hank and I looked at each other.  Hank rolled his eyes.  I was a little concerned by what was happening.  Hank went to get a small ruler from his study.  When he returned he looked at me and laughed, “If we need something bigger than this, then we’re in big trouble.”

Hank started toward the door, “Come on, Danny and David, we’re going to teach the big boys a lesson in humility.  Poppa Steve, bring a pencil and pad so you can record the findings.  Danny, where are the big guys anyway?”

David answered, “They’re in Uncle Kevin and Uncle Jacob’s room.  We were going to sleep with them, but they started messing around and we couldn’t go to sleep.”

Hank picked up David and I grabbed Danny and we carried them to the guys’ bedroom.  Hank opened the door without knocking and asked in a loud voice, “What in the world is going on in this room.  Danny and David told us that you were all trying to prove who was King of the Penis World.  Is that correct?   Do we need to ground you four punks?”

“Now I suggest the four you get properly dressed and report to our bedroom after you get Danny and David settled for the night since they need to be rested for school in the morning as do you.  Change that from, I suggest, to I direct you to report to our bedroom after Danny and David are settled.”

“Danny and David, they won’t be too long.  You may have to take care of them when they come crawling back and make sure they are up for school in the morning.”

As Hank and I walked back to his/our bedroom I looked at him, “Cowboy, what are you going to do?  What do you want me to do?   I can tell that you have something on your mind, but I have no idea what.”

He didn’t say anything until we went into the room.  He closed the door and pushed me against the wall and kissed me.  “We’re going to play good cop/bad cop.  I’m going to be the bad cop and you are going to be the good cop.  Get ready, the guys should be here shortly.”

I still had no idea what this complicated man had in mind.  There was a knock on the door.

Hank yanked open the door and directed, “You four punks get your asses over to the sofa and sit down.”

The four guys looked like they were shell shocked to have someone talking to them that way.  They complied and went and sat down on the sofa.

Hank stood in front of them, “Sit up tall.”  He started to pace back and forth in front of them with his hands behind his back.  He stopped and looked at them and started to pace again.  He finally started to speak, “Gentlemen, you were not using the brains that you were born with.  You were thinking with your sexual hormones.  I have no problem with what you were doing, but I do have a problem with you doing what you did in front of Danny and David.”

“Why would it be so important to determine who had the biggest dick when you all appear to be very well endowed.  I’m sure that you have been keeping tabs on your teammates in the shower, so that you know that you are as well endowed as any of your teammates.  What do you have to say for yourselves and your actions tonight?”

Kevin stood, “Request permission to speak, Sir”

Hank started pacing back and forth again, “Go ahead, Mr. Michaels.”

Kevin started, “When we came out of the bathroom tonight, Danny asked which of us had the biggest pecker.  We all automatically responded that each of us did.  Danny wasn’t satisfied and said prove it.”

Tim jumped up, “We got carried away and started to be silly and sent the two boys to get you.  Uncle Hank, we never meant for it to get out of hand.”

Hank stepped back, “I want the four of you to stand and drop any clothes that are covering the lower part of your body and we will settle this mess once and for all.  Drop them pants and briefs now.  Stevie, do you have the tape measure?  We may need the centimeter tape to decide who is the biggest.  I think we should show them a sex DVD and see what happens.  What do you think?”

Hank didn’t even wait for me to answer.  He went to the computer and hooked it to the big screen television and put in a DVD.  It started to play and their were some explicit sex scenes and the four guys’ penises were definitely stimulated.

Hank winked at me, “Okay, Mr. Michaels, take the measurements on the merchandise, and I’ll record it for record keeping purposes.  Just make sure you don’t touch them punks with your hand.”

Tad stood, “Uncle Hank, you have embarrassed us enough.  This has been a very stressful day for all of us.  I apologize for the four of us.  We got carried away and you’re right.  We should never have behaved as we did in front of Danny and David.  But you could have sat down and talked to us quietly and achieved the same result as trying to intimidate us.  Uncle Hank, could we please in the future just sit down and discuss if something has or is happening that you don’t like, so we aren’t made to feel like a worthless piece of junk?”

Hank put his arms around Tad, “I’m so sorry if you felt like I was calling you a worthless piece of junk.  Guys, you need to realize that being a parent is a whole new concept for me.  I promise, I’ll try very hard to never embarrass you in front of anyone.  But, you need to keep your silliness confined to where you don’ have an effect on anyone else.  Think about what Danny and David must be thinking.  ’Hey, we need to have a big cock so people will like us.’”

All four guys were standing and had put their clothes back on.  Jacob wanted say something, “Dad R., Danny and David have seen us all naked.  I can’t imagine that this incident is going to have a profound impact on their lives unless we deliberately start to not let them see what we look like naked.  If we do that, it will make them even more curious.”

I had about all I could take, “Guys, I agree that it is fine to let Danny and David see you in all of your splendor.  But, what I find out of line is that you were discussing which of you was the best endowed and sent them to get us.  Please guys, just use the brains that you were born with especially when dealing with Danny and David.  There are going to be some tough times ahead for them, especially Danny, so please be the best uncles you can be for them.”

The four guys were standing with tears in their eyes.  I hugged them, “I suggest that you guys get to bed so you will be ready for school in the morning.  Guys, we love and respect you.  Be the best that you can be.”

Hank hugged the four guys as they left the room.  After the four guys were gone, Hank pushed me up against the wall again, “Who made you so smart Mr. Freud?  You made me look like a piece of manure.”

I grabbed him, “Hank, what you did and said had a big impact on the guys.  I was trying to make it so they wouldn’t get too down on themselves.  They are typical teenagers and sometimes do things without considering the consequences.  Remember this hasn’t been the most unstressful day in their lives.  Between the funeral and being tested to see if they could be a donor,  they are probably maxed out.  Now let’s go to bed before you get sick on me, too.”

We climbed into bed and I think we finally realized how emotionally drained we were.  Hank rolled against me, “Stevie, just hold me tonight.  I so wish we didn’t have to go back to work.  These last few days have been wonderful because everyone I care about is here with me.  I dread the fact that we will going our separate ways tomorrow.”

I hugged him, “Cowboy, you talk too much.  Go to sleep.  Everything will be fine.”

Hank started to relax and he started to breath very slowly, so I knew he was sleeping.  I lay there wondering what would happen tomorrow.  I was concerned because I had never owned a company by myself before.  It was going to be an entirely different role for me.  What if Danny’s system rejects Jacob’s blood cells for the transplant?  Why does life have to be so cruel?

I must have finally gone to sleep because Hank was running his fingers over my body like a bug when I woke up.  He hit a sensitive area on my ribs and I started to wiggle, “Stop that, or I'm going to wet the bed.”

Hank intensified his tickling and I pushed him away, “Look Mr. Rodgers, when I get even, I get even in a big way, so get yourself out of bed and let’s go for a run.”

When we were dressed, we stopped by the boys' room. The room was empty.  When we walked into the yard, we saw that the Hummer was gone.  Hank looked at me, “Let’s ride over to the other ranch and help them.  Riding the horses and working in the stable is equivalent to a good work out.”

We saddled Alhambra and Anastasia.  When we arrived at the other stable, all six guys were working.  Danny saw us first, “Good morning Granddads.”

Tim looked at us,  “Why don’t you take the horses out for some exercise while we finish here.  It will make it easier for us if they are out of the their stalls.”

The horses especially the little ones were enjoying the freedom and I thought, ‘It’s not going to be an easy task to get the horses to return to their stalls.’

We had been in the corral with the horses approximately fifteen minutes when Tad came out and whistled.  I was surprised that the horses responded as they did.  The older horses just started back to the barn and younger ones followed.  I had forgotten that Tim and Tad had lived at the this ranch, so the horses knew them rather well.

Danny and David wanted to ride back on the horses with us.  When we got into the house, breakfast was ready.  Dusty looked at me, “Boss, how should I dress for work?”

“Dusty, I plan to dress in casual clothes, but take a dress outfit to change into if I need to deal with some important people.  I would suggest that you consider doing the same thing.  You have a newly created position, and you are going to be my second line of defense  right behind Cynthia.

After breakfast we were chased out of the kitchen by Rosa and Mimi.  Hank pointed to Justin, Wayne and Ross,  “Why don’t you gentlemen come to the bedroom with us and we can discuss some things while, Stevie and I are getting dressed.  We need to make sure we have everything covered.”

Hank was totally oblivious to the fact that his paid employees were seeing us in all our splendor.  He had some things that he wanted them to do, and this was the first chance he really had to explain what he wanted.  By the time we were dressed, the three of them realized that he was relying on them to make the ranches more productive.  He reminded Ross that he should take the paint to the other apartment so the guys could work on it as they had time. 

When we got downstairs, the guys were waiting for us.  Jacob asked, “Dad, did you sign the paperwork that I need to be a bone marrow donor?”

I reached into my briefcase and pulled out the papers.  “It’s a good thing I had taken care of them right after we got home.  Here you go son.”

Jacob looked at Danny and David, “Come on, Men, I’ll drop you off at school.  You will need to catch the bus home.  Everyone else has practice and I need to go to the hospital.”

Ross spoke up, “I’ll pick Danny and David up. I need to meet their other Granddad at the bank so that we can sign the papers so that I can pay the bills.  I’ll meet Mr. Rodgers at two, so I should be there to get you in plenty of time.  If you don’t see my car, then wait inside the school until you do.”

Hank looked at the six guys, “Here, take this so you have money for lunch.  He handed each of the guys $20.00.”

The young guys left.  Dusty decided to ride with me so Mimi and Rosa would have the BMW in case they needed to go somewhere.  Hank yelled as he was getting into the Hummer, “Stevie and Dusty, I’ll call you about eleven and we can make plans for lunch.”

When Dusty and I arrived at the office, it seemed so strange to pull into the President's parking slot.  I noticed that there was a Lexus parked in the my old spot.  When we walked into the building the security guard stood and took my card and inserted it into a machine.  “Good morning Mister Michaels.  Your new office is ready.”

The guard sat down and Dusty handed him his card.  After the guard scanned Dusty’s card, he jumped up, “Excuse me Mr. Summers, I didn’t recognize who you were.  I have the keys to your vehicle here.  The car is parked in Mr. President Michaels’ previous parking space.  They will be changing the sign this morning to reflect that it is the Executive Assistant’s parking space.  If you ever have any trouble with someone being in it, please let us know and we’ll get it taken care of immediately.’’

As we were going up on the elevator, Dusty frowned, “Steve, why do I need a Lexus?”

“I guess the previous president’s assistant had a Lexus, so you inherited it.  It’s already paid for, so enjoy it.  Just think, it will make it much easier for everyone if you have an extra car in the family and  it's going to be part of how you are going to impress all of the new clients you bring in when you take them to lunch.”

Dusty had this funny look on his face.  “Mr. Michaels, I think we need to sit down and discuss what you expect from me.  You’re beginning to scare me.”

As we were walking to the office, I hugged Dusty, “Dusty, we are both going to have to take this one step at a time.  We’re going to be learning as we go along.”

When we walked into the office, Cynthia was at her desk.  She didn’t even look up, “Well, it’s about time you got here,  Mr. Summers, I trust you have the keys to the Lexus by now.  Stevie, my boy,  the Lincoln Towncar won’t be ready until tomorrow.  It seems that the witch couldn’t even afford to take care of it.  It needed some major repairs.  You might want to have someone bring you to work in the morning so you are available to drive it home.”

I was baffled by what was happening.  I didn’t want a Lincoln Towncar.  I guess my frustration was showing. “Cynthia, I don’t want a Lincoln Towncar.  That’s not my style.”

Cynthia laughed, “Too bad, Boss, the car comes with being the president.  We wouldn’t want to give the impression that the company isn’t doing well, would we?  Just don’t let it go to your head, Buster.”

Dusty was standing there laughing his butt off, “Yeah Boss, we can’t let anyone know how poor we are.”

The levity was interrupted by the phone.  Since everyone was in my office, I picked up the phone.  “This is the Michaels’  Advertising Agency.  How may I help you?”

The voice came back. “This is Doctor Rod Harrison.  I understand that you might have a property that you are looking to sell.  My wife and I just found out that we are going to have another addition to our family and are looking for a larger house.”

I was confused, “Doctor Harrison, why do you think that we have a house for sale?”

“We have a friend who told us that Janet Clark and her boyfriend left town and her house on the hill had been reclaimed by the company, because it was bought with company funds.”

I wanted to laugh, but I played it cool, “Doctor Harrison, may I have your number, and I’ll check into the matter and call you back.  I am not aware of what is happening here.”

Dr. Harrison gave me his number.  When I hung up, both Cynthia and Dusty were laughing at me.  Dusty started, “That was about the best stall job I’ve ever heard.  I guess you want to confer with Dad Hank before you make any decisions.  Cynthia, would you please advise the graphics design team and the sales staff that I would like to meet with them in the large conference room at 10:00?”

I looked at Dusty, “Do I need to be there?”

Dusty shook his head, “No, you have more important things to do.  You hired me, so let me earn my money or your can fire me.  You need to find a new Treasurer or Comptroller.  I ain’t much into the money business.”

Cynthia looked at me and laughed, “Boss, I guess you need to get your ass in gear and show these people around here who the boss is.”

To be continued... 
 

Feedback always welcome:      

Editor's Notes: I guess we do have to wonder just who the boss is, don't we?  Cynthia seems to have things pretty well under control, and Dusty seems to have a pretty good handle on things as well.

Of course, being a boss doesn't mean that you have to micro manage things. Each person who works for the company has responsibilities to the company and to the boss.  It is the boss' job to make sure that he has the right people in the right position to do what is necessary in day to day situations.  It is the special, out of the ordinary, circumstances that might call for a decision from the boss himself, and even then, if he has good people, on whom he can count, he might still not need to jump in and take things into his own hands.

I am sure that Steve has just such a staff and that they will all work with and for him, to make the business thrive.

The boys are doing very well, all of them.  Danny is the only one I am worried about.  I certainly hope that the bone marrow transplant works and that Danny will get well.

Things are definitely looking up and hopefully they are going to get better and better.

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Posted: 12/12/08