We Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
by: E Walk
(© 2008 by the Author)
 

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 16
The Float Test

Hank and I took a shower, but there were no extra curricular activities because we had no idea when the four teenagers would return.  We were sitting on the sofa in our briefs when there was finally a knock on the open door.  The four teenager boys came in dressed in warm up pants and sweat shirts.

Hank looked at them, “Aren’t you guys a little over dressed?  It’s not like we haven’t seen everything you have, before.”

Tim answered for the four “Uncle Hank, there are ladies in the house and we can’t be walking around in a state of undress, can we?”

Jacob had to say something, “Yeh, Dad R., what’s wrong with you?  The ladies would hyperventilate if they saw us walking around in just our briefs, and besides, we’re tired of you gawking at our superb bodies.  We can see the envy in your eyes when you look at our magnificent physiques.”

Hank fell against me, “Steve, we’ll have to get our sons' eyes examined.  They obviously have vision problems.  In the meantime, why don’t we give them another egg noggy thingy so they will go to sleep and we won’t have to worry about them walking in their sleep?”

Tad came and sat on the sofa with Hank and me, “Uncle Hank, could we be at least a little bit reverent here.  Tim and I just lost our Father and everyone is joking about meaningless things.  I’m sorry, but I find it rather tasteless.  I’m probably being over sensitive but you people need to stop trying to make everything okay with your silliness.”

Hank hugged Tad, “Tad, I can appreciate what you and Tim must be feeling right now.  You guys don’t know this, but Dusty and I lost our parents 16 years ago at this time of year when they died in an avalanche while they were skiing.  I still miss them terribly.  You knew that your Dad was ill, and it was only a matter of time, but Dusty and I had no idea that our parents were going to die.”

“Kevin and Jacob lost their Mother six years ago and they have been able to move on.”

 “Tim and Tad, I so want to earn your love and respect so that someday you will be able to call me, or should I say call us Dad.  I realize that it is going to take some time, but I think that is what your Father would have wanted.  It’s already after midnight, so why don’t we all go to sleep.  Things will look better tomorrow when we’re all rested.”

The four teenagers hugged us and Hank took the glasses and put them in the bar area.  We did the bathroom things and Hank dropped his briefs and crawled into bed.  He disrobed me.  He just rolled against me, and whispered, “Steve, it’s times like this that I need to feel your love and support.  I love those four teenagers, yes even your two sons who have let me have it until I’m black and blue.  I think they will be a strong example for our other two sons after Tim and Tad get over their grief.”

I kissed Hank, “Cowboy, go to sleep.  Things will seem more clear in the morning.  We’ve had a busy week.  If you don’t be quiet, I may need to plug some holes in your body.”

We were awakened the next morning by two little boys.  “Grandpas where are Kevin and Jacob.  We can’t find them anywhere?”

I sat up, “Danny and David, why don’t you get dressed and go check in the stable.  Your Grandpa and I’ll be down shortly.  Where are Tim and Tad?”

 

Danny looked at me, “Poppa, we can’t find them either.”

Hank sat up, “Danny and David, go get dressed and we’ll help you find them.”

When we got downstairs, Danny and David were waiting.  We put on our jackets and went to the stable and they weren’t there, but I noticed the truck was gone as were the four dogs.  “Lets get in the Hummer and go to your new home and see if they’re there.”

When we got to the other ranch, Kevin and Tad were exercising the horses and Jacob and Tim were mucking the stalls.  Danny went to help Kevin and Tad and David went to help Jacob and Tim.  Cowboy and I watched what was happening.  He leaned over and whispered, “I feel like a fifth wheel here.”

Cowboy yelled, “Guys, we’re going to take the truck back to the other ranch.  You bring the Hummer since there are so many of you.  We’ll make sure that breakfast is ready when get there.”

When we got back to the main house, Rosa was fixing breakfast.  She ordered us out of the kitchen and told us to go check on Justin, Wayne and Ross.  “Dusty and Mimi will be down shortly.”

We went to the stable and Alhambra was giving the three of them fits until Hank walked in.  Hank and I took the horses out for some exercise while the other three mucked the stalls.  We were just leading the horses back to their stalls when the Hummer arrived.

We stopped in the mud room and took off our boots and washed our hands. 

When we sat down to eat, we had a huge potato casserole with all kinds of tasty things and it was inhaled.  I guess the guys must have worked up an appetite.  When everyone was finished, the six young guys snatched the plates and utensils from us without regard to whether we were finished or not.

As soon as the clean up in the kitchen had been completed, the six guys came in and announced that they were going to clean the house at the other ranch.  Jacob looked at us, “If we need anything, we’ll call you.  You may have to bring us lunch if it’s too bad.”

Ross looked at us, “Are you sure those young men are real?  They don’t seem like your typical teenagers to me.  I can’t imagine that many teenagers are even out of bed yet this morning.  Here they have taken care of the horses on a ranch and now they’re going to go clean a house that isn’t even going to be theirs.  You need to have them checked to make sure they’re human teenagers.”

It wasn’t long before we had a frantic call from Kevin, “Dad Rodgers, we can’t find a vacuum.  How are we supposed to vacuum the dust if there isn’t a vacuum.”

“Kevin, your Dad and I will be there shortly to show how to clean a house.  We’ll bring some drinks and snacks so you don’t starve and dehydrate.”

Hank grabbed some snack crackers, cookies and a gallon of juice, “Come on Super Stevie, we need to go save the day.”

We took the truck to the other ranch and Hank showed the guys how to use the central vacuuming system.  “Guys, all you have to do is to role the hose and attachments around on the dolly and plug it in since each room has its own outlet.  It makes it a lot easier than lugging around a vacuum cleaner.”

Jacob looked skeptical, “But where does the dirt and dust go?  Does it just pollute the air?”

Hank took us to the utility room to see the container that held the debris that the vacuum cleaner system collected.  He showed the guys the container.   It appears that the collection unit needs to be emptied.  It is easy to empty and it will make the system much more efficient.”

When we went back to the upstairs, Hank announced, “Steve and I will take care of making sure the dishes are clean and ready to use while you guys take care of the rest of the house.”

We had been working for approximately two  and half hours when Rosa and Ross arrived with food.  They brought the things to make Sloppy Joe sandwiches and some chips and some apple crunch bars.

When we had eaten, Jacob looked at Danny and David, “Guys, you need to take the two Grandpas and make sure they rest.  They have been working hard for old men.  We’ll take care of the dishes and make sure that Grandma Rosa and Grandpa Ross go home and rest.  The rest of us will sit and relax for a little while until you come back.”

Danny and David took us to the master bedroom and made us take off our clothes and they crawled into bed with us.  It wasn’t long before they were both sound asleep so Hank and I got dressed and went to see what else we could do  to help the guys.

Tim informed us, “We loaded the back of the truck with some of the things from the apartment.  Would you please take them back to the other ranch and we’ll sort through the things later. We’ll bring back more of the things when we get finished here.  We’ll take care of the horses here before we come back.”

It was almost five o’clock when the six guys and four dogs arrived.  Danny and David came and lit into us. “How come you let us sleep so long?   We’ll probably not be able to go to sleep tonight.”

Hank knelt down, “We had to go to the bathroom and you were snoring so nicely that we decided not to wake you.  I think you needed your sleep and rest.  You have had a busy week and a half and we wouldn’t want you to get sick.”

Danny delivered a low blow, “Granddad, I’m already sick.  I’ll probably never be okay again.  I just want to be a cowboy like you.”

I looked at Kevin and Jacob and they both turned away so that Danny wouldn't see the tears in their eyes.  I was gaining a new respect for my wonderful sons.   They actually cared about other people other than themselves.

Hank held both boys, “Guys, you need to be strong so you can take care of the new babies when they arrive and teach them how to be cowboys and cowgirls.”

Rosa came and announced, “Dinner is being served in ten minutes.  I suggest that you get your hands washed so you can eat.

The guys took off and Hank leaned against me, “Saved by the bell.  I’m not really very hungry after all that.”

“Hank, you need to be strong for your family.  The next couple days are going to be very difficult and you need to maintain your composure for everyone.  You are the cornerstone around which most of these people revolve.  If you don’t eat your dinner, I’ll give you a big juicy kiss in front of everyone.”

Hank started to laugh, “Stevie, I just decided to go on a prolonged hunger strike so I hope you have lots of them hot juicy kisses.  I’ll probably need as many as you have to recover my appetite.”

Rosa had outdone herself.  We had a honey glazed ham, a yam and apricot casserole with pecans that was excellent.  She had found some fresh corn on the cob and had made a rice type dish that she called glorified rice.  Of course she had homemade rolls and a relish tray.  When I sat down I thought to myself, ’There is no way that all of this food is going to be eaten.’  Boy was I wrong.  Even Mimi seemed to have regained her appetite. 

I was so proud of my sons, Kevin spoke for the two of them, “Grandma Rosa, the meal was outstanding.  I probably won’t be able to move for an hour.  Come on men, let’s take care of the dishes while the old people go reminisce about the good old days.”

David looked at Kevin, “Uncle Kevin, what does that mean?”

Kevin knelt down, “David, that means they’re going to tell each other how great it was to be young like us.  They only remember the good things.  They don’t remember the bad things like when they had to go to the office because they were fighting with one of their friends on the playground.  Sometimes they even had to sit in the corner with a  silly hat because they didn’t do their homework.  Right Dad R.?”

Hank ignored the company and gave Kevin the old Up Yours, sign.

David was satisfied, “Okay, let’s go help with the dishes, we don’t have to do any more work today do we?”

 

Kevin held David’s hand, “No, we’re going to go soak in Grandpa Hank’s Jacuzzi and fill it with so much bubble bath that the bubbles are going to be tumbling down the stairs and everyone will have to swim their way to bed.”

The six guys came through and went up the stairs.  It was almost an hour later when the six guys came down the steps wearing sweat pants and sweat shirts with socks.  Danny went over to his Mother, “Mommy, don’t we smell pretty.  There were so many bubbles that Kevin and David had to wipe them up.”

Rosa looked up, “Guys, there is a Texas sheath cake on the counter.  Make sure you save some for the adults.  It is really good with some vanilla ice cream on it.”

Kevin and Jacob didn’t know what a Texas sheath cake was but the other four did, and there was no hesitation as they went to get desert.

Hank and I went to check on what was happening.  The guys were just finishing their desserts when we walked in.  Kevin looked at us, “What time do we need to leave for the church tomorrow?”

Hank hugged Tim and Tad, “We need to be there by 9:30 to make sure everything is ready.  I would appreciate it very much if you all wore you jackets and ties tomorrow, if you have one.  If not, wear a nice sweater and shirt.  Kevin and Jake, we will be wearing choir robes so just make sure that you wear nice slacks and shoes.”

Jacob took charge, “Okay men, let’s get these dishes done and get our teeth brushed.  I hear the Sandman’s reindeer scratching on the roof.”

Danny hit Jacob on the arm, “Uncle Jacob, you’re being silly.  Santa has reindeer not the Sandman.  The Sandman flies by himself and doesn’t need reindeer.” 

“How do you know?  Has anyone here seen the Sandman?  I know I haven’t, but I’ve seen Santa Claus.”

Jacob turned to Hank, “Yep, I even saw Santa going to the bathroom one time.”

I watched as Hank gave Jacob the up yours sign.  Kevin and I were trying to control our snickering.

The guys did the clean up in the kitchen and I watched as the four teenagers took the two younger boys up the stairs after they had hugged their parents and grandparents.  Danny had hugged me and asked,  “Poppa, you’re not going to take Uncle Kevin and Uncle Jacob away are you?”

I hugged Danny, “We’ll stay around as long as someone doesn’t misbehave.”

Danny smiled, “Good, me and David will make sure the big boys are good.”

Hank looked at the adults who were still assembled, “I know it’s a little late to be having a meeting and the boys aren’t here, but does anyone have any comments about what I proposed yesterday?”

Justin spoke first, “Hank, Wayne and I love this place and have come to consider it our home.  We both are pleased to accept your offer to have us jointly be the operations managers of the two ranches.  Ross could be our eyes and ears at the other ranch while we take care of this one.  There are not many places where we would be able to live together like the old married couple we are.”

Hank smirked, “Married couple maybe, but old, I don’t think so.  You’re both still wet behind the ears.”

Dusty nodded, “Dad, Mimi and I think it would be good for us to finally live on our own.  We have been so spoiled by living with you and we need to finally manage our own resources.  Now that I have a job, we should be fine since I already own a property that I didn’t even know I owned.  You do realize that you have almost treated us like we were in a vacuum, trying to protect us from the outside world.  It is so great that you finally met some people that made you want to have a life of your own.”

Mimi spoke before Hank could say anything, “Dad Hank, you have stood by Dusty and then us and the boys all these years.  Without your support, we could never have made it.  It’s not like we're moving to the other side of the moon.  I can almost bet you that Danny and David will spend as much time around Kevin, Jacob, Tim and Tad as they can.  I can’t believe how they have bonded with Kevin and Jacob.”  Mimi had to stop because she was starting to shed tears. 

Dusty continued, “We’ll start moving our things to the other ranch now that the guys have it cleaned.  Danny told me that he wasn’t going to clean it if we got it dirty.  Because of Mimi’s condition, we’ll take our time if it's okay with you.  But I think it should be completed as soon as possible so that Danny and David can begin to feel that it is truly their home.”

Rosa spoke for Ross and her, “Hank, at first I was a little miffed by your proposal that we move into the apartment at the other ranch.  I felt as if you were kicking us out, but then I realized that you were concerned for the new arrivals and whatever might happen to Danny.  Ross and I are not spring chickens any more and the idea of being able to get away from the hassle of the young people from time to time started to sound even more appealing.”

‘You realize that we have become a little spoiled by living here, because a lot of the time it was just Ross, Justin, Wayne and me, so it was relatively quiet.  I can’t imagine that being the case with four teenagers around.  After watching them with their friends at the party on Saturday, I’m sure they wouldn’t be a problem.  You made a good point when you suggested that I would be able to assist when the new ones arrived in June.”

Ross started to say something, “Hank, I can paint the apartment.  I’m sure it won’t need much, knowing how neat Bill and the boys were. I …”

Ross was interrupted by the four teenagers coming down the stairs.  Kevin started, “Grandpa Ross, that’s not an option.  Mr. Rodgers contracted with us to do the work.  We didn’t have time to do it today and we didn’t know what color Grandma Rosa wanted the walls.  We will have the job done this coming weekend and then you will be able to move in.  The only thing that you will need to move other than your personal things is a few groceries.”

Tim was giggling, “Yeh, if you tell us what you want, we’ll snitch them from Uncle Hank’s stash.

Hank stood, “I’ve had all of the chewing on my backside I can stand for one day.  I suggest we all go to bed since we have the memorial service in the morning.  I’m going to bed.  I’ll see everyone in the morning.”

That was the signal that everyone should disappear.  I looked at my watch and saw that it was after ten o’clock.  The guys secured the house.  I don’t think any of the doors were ever locked here.  The dogs came in and followed the four guys up the steps.

Hank and I took a shower together and as we were walking out of the bathroom, we heard Jacob’s voice, “Look it’s the Hardy Boys.”

Tim was laughing, “You’re probably right; it sure ain’t Nancy Drew or the Bobbsey Twins.”

The four teenagers were standing there looking at us, Kevin asked, “Well did they or didn’t they?”

Tad nodded, “We’ll have to do a float test to find out I guess.  Tim and Jacob, grab the two culprits while Kevin and I go prepare the tub to do our scientific experiment to see if the float test is correct or not.”

Hank looked at me, “What the heck is a float test, guys?

To be continued... 
 

Feedback always welcome:      

Editor's Notes:  Well, I'm afraid I have to plead ignorance here.  I have no idea what this float test thing is. I guess we will just have to wait and find out. 

This story is certainly one exciting situation after another. 

I do hope that Danny can somehow pull through this illness thing.  It is always such a shame to see a young child with a debilitating disease, or worse yet, one that is usually fatal.  Although it is not really far fetched to hope that he will get past this hurdle.

I have a cousin who is now in her late forties or early fifties,  whom the Doctor's only gave a five percent chance of living past her teens.(remember I'm an old fellow, and my memory is not always as good as it should be.)   She had some kind of leukemia when she was six or seven years old. I can't remember exactly when they discovered it either. So sue me.  She had a bunch of treatments, none of which seemed to do a whole lot of good for her, and the Doctors, in their infinite wisdom, finally just told the family that there was nothing more they could do for her, and that she should live her life to the fullest and enjoy what “little” time she had left.  Her parents gave her as much love and attention as they possibly could. And somehow, she simply got better. She has been in remission for many years and, for the most part, is a happy lady. 

The only thing that bothers me is that she keeps telling me that she doesn't really expect to live all that much longer, but she said that she wasn't going to worry about it, since the Lord had seen fit to allow her to be around this long, she was going to leave it in his hands as to when he would take her. 

She is a very special person to me, because she had to not only get past her illness, she had to get past what the medicine had done to her mind.  She was practically a vegetable for a few years while she was on some of the meds. They made her all drowsy and out of things. Sometimes she hardly knew who she was.  Once they stopped giving her the meds though, she came back with a vengeance, and we were all so proud of her. She caught up in her studies until she was back at the level with her classmates and I was so proud of her when she graduated high school near the top of her class.  She still had some rough times, what with being sick for so long, that the psychologists all thought she was retarded.  Her social skills were somewhat lower than they should have been, and there were some kids that teased her, but she managed to get past that, and she has managed very well. 

Several guys, over the years, have wanted to marry her. She is very good looking, but she has refused to make that commitment.  She says, that she doesn't want to bring any children into the world and then turn around and leave them without a mommy.  She somehow still believes that she won't be living much longer.  

She is a cousin on my mom's side of the family and the women in my mom's family all seemed to have a run in with Cancer of one type or another. 

I guess I should point out that I am an adopted person, and that the family of which I am speaking is my adopted one. My mom had Uterine Cancer at a young age, and had a hysterectomy and radiation to try to stop the spread.  Again, the pessimistic Doctors gave her only six months to a year to live.  That was in the early 1940s when there was not a whole lot of treatments and not a whole lot of successful recoveries. That was sometime before I was born, and she told me that she had told those Doctors that she wasn't going to let Cancer get her down, and I think she was right. She finally died in 2001 having lived to celebrate her 90th birthday, and having lived in two different centuries,  Well, come to think of it, so have I, lived in two different centuries, I mean, not lived to celebrate my 90th birthday. 

She once told me that she was happy to report that she had outlived every single Doctor that had given her that dim prognosis. She said that she actually visited one of them when he was in the hospital.   She said she was tickled to be able to tell him that she knew she would outlive him and every other quack that gave her those six months.

Gawd, I'm Rambling again, aren't I?  I keep spilling all this stuff about me that no one really cares about, and I just can't help myself.

Please hurry with the next chapter, E Walk.  I love this story.  

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Posted: 11/28/08