“P” Is For the Peeping Pat
by: E Walk
(© 2009-2011 by the Author)
 

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Chapter 21

Meet Rita Porter

I sat down at the computer and started to write about our encounters with Pat’s relatives.  This book could get me in trouble because there would be no way that that it could be rated anything other than R or X.  I figured that since it actually was a true story that people couldn’t complain too much.

I was making good headway when the teens arrived, shortly after eleven. Nate and Ethan stopped in to talk to me,  Nate asked, “What’s going to happen with Sheriff Pat’s family?”

“Guys, I don’t know.  Pat left to get things squared away.  We know that his father is dead and that Leo appears to be out of control.  We’ll just have to wait until Pat returns to find out exactly what is happening.  Go to sleep because I'm sure the wedding reception tomorrow is going to be rather big, now that I know who is getting married.  You boys have met the bride, even though she’s several years older than you.”

“Are you and the Sheriff going to the wedding?”

“I’ll be going to the wedding, at least.  Since it’s so late and I didn’t RSVP, I probably won’t be going to the reception.”

“Dad, you really should go to the reception, at least for a little while, so you can see why Mrs. Janowski wants the young guys to work the reception.”

“Nate and Ethan, I’ll see what happens.  I don’t want to make too many more plans for the next couple of days.  If I do much more, there won’t be any time to write and then we won’t be able to eat.”

Nathan shook his head, “Dad, why are you so obsessed with being poor.  It’s people like Sheriff Patrick’s family who are the people who are going to be starving.  Good night, we’ll see you in the morning.”

I was just about to quit writing when Pat finally arrived, He stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders, “Steve, the situation in Illinois has gotten even more complicated.  Not only was Dad killed by Abe Tuesdale; but Leo set fire to the house when he was playing with matches.  Fortunately, everyone except Leo escaped the fire.  He was found asphyxiated on the floor of the living room.  Denise and the other four children are in a homeless shelter.  I’ll be leaving in the morning to see what I can do.”

“Pat, do you want me to go with you?”

“No. you need to stay here and take care of the boys and you have your book signing on Monday.  Let me go and see if I can salvage anything out of the mess.  Let’s go to bed.  I’m mentally exhausted.

I was awakened by Pat moving around the room, “Steve, I’m getting ready to leave for Illinois. Can you follow me in the Sheriff’s vehicle so I can leave it at the station and go to the apartment and pick up some clothes and my car?”

I sat up, “Pat, are you sure you don’t want someone to go with you?”

“Steve, I definitely don’t want anyone to go with me.  I certainly don’t want my sons to see the mess, and Jimmy doesn’t need to be exposed any more than he already has been.”

I watched as Pat headed north to meet up with the interstates.  When I returned to the house, everyone was up.  I was met at the door by Jimmy and Tommy?  Where is Dad Pat?”

“He's on his way to Illinois.  He’s going to see if there is anything that he can do to help Jimmy’s family.  Both Jimmy’s Granddad and his oldest brother, Leo, are dead.  Sheriff Kincaid will call us tonight and tell us what’s going on.”

The boys departed for work and I went to get dressed to go the wedding.  I wrote a check for $100.00 and searched through a box of cards that I kept in the dining room hutch.  It wasn’t a card that I particularly liked, but then, I thought, the bride and groom aren’t going to be looking at the card but rather what was inside.

When I arrived at the church, the parking lot was almost full.  I parked in the back corner of the church lot.  When I walked into the church, the ushers took me toward the front, since all of the seats in the rear had been filled.  When I sat down, the older lady who was seated next to me asked, “Are you a member of the bride’s family?”

“No, but her father and I grew up together, and we were best friends.”

“You look familiar.  Are you an actor or somebody famous?”

I chuckled, “Ma’am, I don’t think of myself as anyone who is famous, and I’m certainly not an actor.  Should I know you?”

“I don‘t know why you would know me.  I’m the groom’s grandmother, Rita Butler.”

“Then why aren’t you going to be seated with the families down front?”

“I have this problem that I need to go to the bathroom quite often, and I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself should I need to go during the ceremony.  What is your name anyway?”

“My name is Steve Sloane.”

Mrs. Butler looked at me, “Hmm, I don’t recognize that name.  Wait a minute!   You write books, but your name isn’t Steve Sloane.  Your penname is Sloane Stephens, isn‘t it?  I’ve been reading your books forever.  I don’t suppose you have any books with you that you could autograph for me.”

“Mrs. Butler, I don’t have any books with me, but if you’re going to be in town on Monday evening, the library is sponsoring a book signing and an ice cream social to promote my books so I can feed my ever-growing family.  I’ve picked up three new sons since the start of summer, plus another family.”

Our conversation was interrupted by the processional, and we stood as the bride and her father walked to the front of the church.   After the ceremony had been completed, and the people were being ushered out, Mrs. Butler, held onto my arm.  “Steve, why don’t you take me to the reception and you can be my escort.  That way I won’t feel like I’m a fifth wheel.”

“But Mrs. Butler, I didn’t RSVP.  I wasn’t planning on going to the reception.”

“Bull hockey, I need someone to escort me, and besides, you need to explain how you picked up three new sons since the beginning of summer.  How come I didn’t know about the book signing and ice cream social?  I’m the past president of the library board.”

When we walked into the hall where the reception was being held, Mrs. Butler led us to the receiving line.  The groom and his wife were at the head of the line.  The groom asked, “Grandmother, are you sure that you don’t want to be in the receiving line?”

“Danny, it’s not me who just got married.  Besides, I found an escort to keep me from falling asleep while you people twist the night away.  Danny, this is Mr. Sloane Stephens.”

Melanie laughed, “Grandmother, his name is Steve Sloane.”

“Don’t argue with me, Melanie.  Remember, I’m the person who is paying for this lavish reception.  I may change my mind and give you an electric fry pan instead.”

Danny laughed, “On no, Grandma, anything but that.  We already have four of them as well as two of almost every appliance that you can imagine and some we don’t even know what to do with them.”

When we moved through the line, Rich thanked me for coming.  “I didn’t know that you knew Mrs. Butler.”

“I didn’t know Mrs. Butler.  She hijacked me and made me come to the reception.”

“Where are your sons?”

“Rich, all of them are here.  They’re working as the attendants for the reception.”

Rich looked confused, “I thought that you only had two sons.  I don’t see them anywhere.”

I pointed, “That’s Nathan over by the punch bowl and Ethan is standing at the cake table.  The rest of the boys are circulating with hors d’ oeuvres.” 

Rich looked really confused.

“Rich, I’ll explain later.  This summer has complicated my life.”

We were walking away from the receiving line when a young body accosted us, “Madam and Monsieur, would you care for an appetizer?”

I looked at Tommy, “How much are you charging for your faire, garcon?”

“Dad, it’s free and what‘s a garcon?”

Mrs. Porter was laughing, “Steve, I take it this is one of your sons?”

“Madam, don’t believe everything that Dad tells you.  I’m really a good kid.  I need to go serve some other people.  Dad, did the other guys know that you were coming.”

“No, I didn’t know that I was coming until Mrs. Porter drug me here.”

“I’ll go tell them to make sure you get the best service so you don’t beat us up when we get home.  Mrs. Porter, make sure that Dad behaves himself.”

Mrs. Porter asked, “That young man is certainly interesting.  Wherever did you find him?”

I was telling her how we came to have Tommy living with us when Jimmy appeared in front of us.  “Mr. Sloane, would you take the most beautiful woman here to a table.  The lunches are about to be served.”

Mrs. Porter guided us to a table in a corner.  After we were seated, I explained that Jimmy was another of my boys, temporarily.  “His uncle, Sheriff Pat Kincaid, had to leave for Illinois on an emergency, so Jimmy is living with us, as are Sheriff Kincaid’s two sons.”

“Look Steve, I wasn’t born yesterday.  There is more to you and this Sheriff Kincaid than you’re telling me.”

“Okay, so we’ve been cohabitating.”

“And how do the boys feel about it?”

“They don’t seem to have a problem with it.  In fact, when we’re at the house on the lake, that I own, we’re nude all the time.”

“Steve, you’re kidding me.  You don’t really parade around in front of those two young men naked, do you?”

“Yep, and they think nothing of it.  If they’ve been away from the house, they take off their clothes as soon as they come in.”

“Gees, you should charge admission.  What do the other boys that you have staying at your house look like?”

I pointed out Don and Mike and explained that their parents had been killed while working at an archaeological did in Egypt.

Mrs. Porter nodded, “I knew the boys' parents from the university.”

Shawn approached our table, “Good Evening, Mr. Sloane.  Who’s your girlfriend?  You have a choice of chicken salad with fruit, or green salad topped with shrimp.”

Mrs. Porter laughed, “Mr. Sloane’s girlfriend, Mrs. Porter, would like the chicken salad.  Doesn’t it bother you being naked around old men like Mr. Sloane?”

Shawn was trying not to laugh, “To be honest with you, ma’am, I’m not sure that we should be talking about things like that at wedding reception.  At first, I was embarrassed for Mr. Sloane, but I soon got over it.  It sure does save on dirty clothes.”

“Shane, come meet Dad Steve’s girlfriend, Mrs. Porter.  She wants to know if she can go skinny dipping with us?”

“Of course, we’ll just have to determine when the next total eclipse of the moon is.  We’ll have to make sure that we have dark glasses with blinders for her to wear, so she doesn’t lose her vision from looking at all the eye candy.”

Before the afternoon was over, Mrs. Porter had talked to all of the guys, including Teddy and Travis.  Mrs. Janowski kept watching the guys, but her hands were almost tied, since Mrs. Porter was paying the bill as her wedding gift to Melanie and Danny.”

Finally, Mrs. Janowski came to where Mrs. Porter and I were seated by ourselves, since the others at the table had eaten and started to circulate and dance.  Mrs. Porter laughed, “Donna, don’t get on your high horse.  It’s nice to talk to Mr. Sloane’s charges.  It was my fault that they stopped to visit.”

Donna frowned, “I thought perhaps Steve was trying to get the boys fired.  Steve, you can’t imagine how many compliments I’ve had about the young boys, today.  It’s too bad that you won’t let them work more.”

“Donna, the boys will need to enjoy the time that they don’t have to work.”

Mrs. Porter pulled out her check book, “Donna, if you have the bill, I might as well pay it now, before Mr. Sloane robs me of all of my money so he can write about it in his next book.”

After Mrs. Porter paid the bill and we had said goodbye to the bride and groom and their parents, she asked, “Steve, would it be possible for me to visit where you’re living with all these boys?”

“Of course, but you might want to change out of your gown.  It’s not a place for formal attire.”

I took Mrs. Porter to get her car at the church, and followed her to her house, “Make yourself at home, Steve.  I’ll be ready in ten minutes.”

I was sitting in the living room and looking around when it hit me who Mrs. Porter was.  She was the widow of the chancellor of the University who had died about a year ago.”

Mrs. Porter appeared in a pair of walking shorts, a short sleeve shirt and sandals, a big straw hat and sunglasses. “I’m ready to roll if you are, Steve.”

As we were driving out of town, Mrs. Porter was looking around, “I don’t think I’ve been out this way too often.  There really isn’t much out here.  Why would you want to live way out here?” 

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer, “Mrs. Porter ----

Mrs. Porter interrupted, “Look, Steve, if we’re going to be friends, I want you to call me Rita.”

“Miss Rita, as I started to say, this is where I do my best writing. See that lake over there?  I own it as well as all the land around it.  I’ve been offered large sums of money by developers to develop the area, but I much prefer to keep it so I can write in the nude without nosy neighbors.  For some reason, I am more productive in that state.”

When I pulled up to the house, we went to the front door and I pulled out a red pennant and hung it on the porch. Mrs. Porter frowned, “What did you do that for?”

“That’s to warn the guys that there’s a lady in the house and they need to be suitably dressed when they surface.  If you want to wait on the deck, I’ll change clothes and then we can try our luck at fishing.”

Mrs. Porter was standing on the deck when I went to look for her, “Steve, this is so quiet and peaceful.  Don’t you ever get bored?”

“To tell you the truth, Rita, there hasn’t been time to get bored this summer.  Ever since Sheriff Kincaid and his sons entered my life, there's barely been time to get any writing done.  I’m not complaining but it sure has made a big difference in our lives.  Let’s go fishing while the fish are still biting.  This is the best time of the day to catch a few.” 

To be continued...

Editor's Notes:

If I didn't know better, I might think that Steve could be interested in Rita.  Of course, I know that he is already taken, so that relationship can't go forward, but it is definitely interesting.

I do think they are going to be very good friends, if things continue in the direction they have been going.

Since the chapter ended with the two of them going fishing, should I say that I am waiting for the next chapter with Baited breath?

Grin.

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Posted: 03/18/11