You Ain’t Santa Claus
by: E Walk

(© 2009-2010 by the Author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 34 

The Cow and Bull Game


When I got to my office, I called Dan’s office number.  His secretary answered.  I identified myself and asked if Doctor Thornton was available to speak with me.”


The voice answered, “Dr. Richter, he’s been talking to some visitors but they’re leaving.  I’ll inform him you’re on the phone.”


“Hi Kirk, what’s up?”


“There were two people who indicated that they are deputy County Attorneys here asking questions.”


Dan asked, “Their names wouldn’t just happen to have been Deputy James and Deputy Wayne, would they?”


“Yes, how did you know?”


“The Wayne person is the lady who served me the court order and the James guy is the person who picked up the court order from Judge Smiley’s office.  When Bruce and I checked at the county attorney’s office, they had no deputy attorneys by those names


“Kirk, they just left here.  They wanted to advise me that there was a court order to have samples of Nate and Ryan Richter’s DNA collected by tomorrow, and they asked that I contact them should the samples be collected at this hospital.”


“I reminded them that there were any number of hospitals and clinics where such testing could be performed.  The James person said they we’re contacting every facility that might be able to do the testing to make sure the people are complying with the court order.”


“Dan, what did you tell them?”


“I showed them on the computer that we hadn’t seen anyone by the name of Richter today.  The two obviously had been doing some homework, but didn’t realize that the boys’ last name was still Holloway.  We’ll talk more about this when I get home tonight.  Bruce may have some ideas as to what we should do.”


As I was getting ready to depart for the day, Leland came into the office.  “Kirk, I apologize for complaining about how you ripped me a new body part.  I went to watch Lance’s class this afternoon and the students were with him all the way.”


I looked at Leland, “Lee, there is a big difference.  The courses that Lance is teaching are designed for freshmen and sophomores.  The courses that you are teaching are for more advanced students.  You need to be more personable.  Don’t try to emulate me or Lance, just be yourself and let the students know that you know what you’re talking about without seeming to be pompous.  But more importantly, involve the students in the class and don’t preach to them.”


Leland sighed, “Kirk, I’ll say this for you.  You don’t beat around the bush.  You’ve laid it on the line as did Dean Meyers.  I guess I need to go home and regroup and hopefully my sons won’t have too many things that I need to do.”


When I arrived at Belle Monte, I saw seven horses coming down the road from the little house.  I watched as the boys took the horses to the stable.  I had just finished changing clothes when Bruce and George arrived.  Bruce commented, “Our two phony deputy attorneys sure have been busy.  They have been to every hospital and clinic in town checking on the boys’ DNA testing.”


Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the boys.  Ryan hugged me, “Hi, Daddy, did you have a good day.   Hi Uncle Bruce and Uncle George, we thought you would be here earlier.  We stayed away from the front of the house.  We were checking on the animals.”


Nate hugged us, “We need to go wash our hands and help set the table.”


Charles and Ian came out of the office.  Charles nodded, “Good evening, gentlemen, we have some good news and some bad news.  We’ll tell you about it after dinner when Dan is here.”


As we were eating, Bruce pointed to Ryan and Nathan, “Guys, I think you should call your grandparents after dinner and invite them to come for another visit.  After you talk to your Granddad Thornton, I would like to speak to him.”


Ryan asked, “Uncle Bruce, why do you want to talk to Granddad Thornton?”


“I need him to do some legal things for me since I can’t do them for myself.”


After dinner, we went to the office and I called my parents’ number and handed the phone to Ryan.


“Hi Grandmother Richter,  it’s Ryan. … Yep, we’re fine. … Mrs. Fort’s a good teacher. … We called to see if you and Granddad Richter could come for a visit. … Okay, here’s Daddy.”


“Hi Mom.”


“Hi Kirk, your Dad isn’t here.  He’s at a meeting at the church, as usual.  Is there a special reason why you want us to come visit?”


“Mom, we just thought you might like to come visit so you could have some fun.”


“Kirk, I gather you can’t talk freely right now.  I’ll check and see what your Father has to say and we’ll call you back tomorrow.  Can I speak Nate?”


“Hi Grandmother Richter, it’s Nate.  How are you doing? …  That’s good. … We’re trying to make our Dads be good, but it’s hard.  They don’t listen very well. … Okay, I’ll give the Dads a kiss for you.  Talk to you later.”


Dan called his parents’ number and handed the phone to Nate.

“Hi Grandpa Thornton, it’s Nate. … We’re all fine.  We called to see if you could come for a visit.  Uncle Bruce wants to talk to you after we talk. … Yeah, we had to go see if were contagious so we won’t make the other animals sick because the kittens and dogs had fleas. … Okay, here’s Daddy Doctor.”


“Hi, Dad.  … Yeah, the boys had to have samples of their DNA taken to make sure they wouldn’t make the other animals sick.  … The results showed that they aren’t contagious. … Here’s Ryan.”


“Hi Grandpa, it’s Ryan. … Yep, we went to this place for breakfast and then we went to Dad’s hospital and the put these sticks with cotton in our mouths.  It didn’t hurt at all, but Uncle Vince complained that they really hurt him. … Here’s our other Dad.”


“Hi, Dad.”


“Kirk, it sounds as if something must be happening there?”


“Dad Thornton, Bruce can explain.  He would like to talk to you.  He’s in the office getting some papers.”


“Don, I’m on.”


I hung up and looked at Nate and Ryan, “Guys, go see if you can find Vince and Alex.”


Ryan and Nate returned with Vince and Alex.  I asked, “Are you guys working tonight?”


Vince moaned, “No sir, my mouth is so sore that I couldn’t possibly work.  Whatcha need us to do, Dr. Richter.?”


“If you feel up to it, would you take Ryan and Nate to the little house so they can make sure their kittens and dogs are okay?  The boys need to go to bed early, since we had to get them up so early today.”


Vince sighed, “I suppose we can handle that, as long as you’re not too late.”


After Vince and Alex departed with the two boys, we went into the office with Ian and Charles.  Bruce was just hanging up from talking with Dad Thornton, “Great, we’ll see the two of you about two on Thursday.  Make sure you bring anything that you think will be helpful.”


After we were all seated, Bruce looked around, “Chuck and Ian, I believe you have some things that you wish to share.”


Charles nodded, “I had a call from Ike Lassiter from the bank this afternoon.  It seems that a gentleman was  trying to find out the value of Ryan’s and Nathan’s estate.  He tried to get access to any financial information he could.  Ike informed me that he wouldn’t provide any details and the gentleman left in a huff, saying that he would get a court order to gain access to the information.”


Ian shook his head, “I had a call from the county appraiser, Mr. King, today, telling me that there were two gentlemen trying to find out the appraised value of Belle Monte.  When he asked him why they wanted to know, they told him it was none of his business.  That upset Roland and he instructed his staff not to pass out any information about Belle Monte.  The two gentlemen rushed out of his office vowing that they would get the information they needed.”


After Dan had explained about his visitors from the phony deputy county attorneys, Bruce and I told about our visit with Judge Smiley and our subsequent visit to the County Attorney’s office.  Bruce hit the desk, “I get the feeling that we are about to be attacked by at least three different parties.  We need to be vigilant for any surprise attacks.  I have the feeling that people will be crawling out of the wood work trying to get to Nathan and Ryan and their holdings.”


Bruce looked at Dan, “I don’t suppose that there is any way that you could misidentify the DNA samples of Vince and Alex and have them labeled, N. Richter and R. Richter?”


Dan chuckled, “Bruce, you don’t know how inept lab technicians can be.  But why am I going to cause that to happen?”


George spoke up, “I think a better plan would be for Vince and Alex to go to County General hospital tomorrow and sign in as N. Richter and R. Richter and have a DNA sample taken.  That way Dan wouldn’t be implicated in any misdemeanors.  Everyone knows that the staff at County General is being paid minimum wages, and the people would jump at the thought that they might make some extra money on the side.”


I had reservations, “Guys, we’ve already asked Alex and Vince to do more than they should be expected to do.  I don’t understand what would be gained by having them pose as N. and R. Richter in the event they should be called to testify.”


Bruce responded, “Kirk, you saw how hard Vince and Alex didn’t resist taking the guys to the little house.  I’m of the opinion that they see them as their little brothers, if not more.  I’m sure that if you ask them to go to County General and have the samples taken, they’d be glad to do it, but of course you need to expect them to give you some flak.”


Bruce sighed, “It would be so much simpler if we knew who we are up against.  I feel helpless.  All we can do at this point is to put up barriers to keep the situation from moving too fast.  I need time to regroup.  We’ll see you tomorrow.”


Dan and I made our way up the hill in our separate cars.  When we arrived at the little house, Vince and Alex were reclining on the sofa watching a basketball game with the two dogs lying in front of them.”


Vince grinned, “Our boys are asleep.  They both fell asleep talking about everything.  Hodge and Podge are guarding them.  Snitch and Snatch are making sure we don’t steal anything.”


Dan and I sat down opposite them.  I decided to broach what we would like them to do, “Guys, we would like for you to go to County General Hospital and ask to have a DNA sample done, but fill out the forms in the name of N. and R. Richter.”


Both Vince and Alex sat up and Alex asked, “Why are we doing this, again?”


I explained what was happening and the guys started to laugh.  Vince glared, “Dr. Richter, here’s what we should do.  You need to go with us in the morning and yell and rant that you want our DNA samples taken because we knocked up your daughters.”


Alex giggled, “Doctor Thornton, I guess you’ll be late for work in the morning while our future father-in-law takes us to get our blood drained.  Is it okay with you if we spend the night here since the two boys are in Nate’s room?  That way we can get an early start, so we can get back and make sure that Belle Monte is running smoothly.”


I was skeptical, “Guys, why would you want to spend the night here when you have your own apartment at Homebase?”


Vince stood, “Here, we don’t have to clean up our mess, and besides Nate and Ryan asked us to stay to make sure you would be safe.  They miss not having Lanny here.  I guess he was their security blanket.”


I was awakened in the morning by some delicious smells.  I went to the balcony and Vince and Alex were in the kitchen area.  I woke Dan and we had a nice leisurely shower that would keep us relaxed for the day.  I was dressed in a suit when I went to the kitchen area.  “I thought I told you guys to be ready to go for your DNA testing.”


“Father-in-law, we need to eat first.  How come you didn’t wake your lazy sons?


Vince went up the steps and I heard him cajoling the boys, “You need to get up and make sure that Doctor Dan gets to work on time.  You can’t sleep all day.”


Vince came down the steps with Ryan and Nate.  Nate asked, “Why is Dad Dan going to take us to Homebase?  Daddy Kirk usually does.”


When we arrived at County General Hospital, I stopped at the information counter and explained that I had received a court order to have samples of my sons’ DNA taken.


The lady looked at us skeptically, “Please be seated and someone will be with you momentarily.”


A male voice called out, “The Richter party.”


We went to cubicle where the young man was seated behind the counter.  He asked, “What are we doing for you today?”


I pulled out the copy of the court order, “I have a court order directing that I have samples of my sons’ DNA taken.”


The young man looked at me with a funny look, “Sir, do you have any identification and who is going to be paying for the testing?”


I pulled out my wallet and handed my driver’s license to the young man, “I’m sure that I will wind up having to pay for the testing.  If the county doesn’t pay for it, you can bill me at RRD #2, Box 472.”


“What are your sons’ first names?”


“Nathan and Ryan Richter.”


The young man had been typing on the computer, and he stood and returned with two wrist bands,  “Nathan, please put out your arm, so I can put name band on.”


Vince put out his arm, and the young man attached a wrist band. Vince complained, “Dad, why do we gotta wear a bracelet?”


The young man laughed, “It’s to make sure that your tests results won’t get mixed up.  Ryan, we need to put yours on as well.  If you gentleman will have a seat in the waiting area, a technician will be with you shortly.”


We had hardly gotten seated when a young technician came into the waiting area, “Will the Richter party please accompany me?”


He took us into a lab type room and looked at the work order request, “It says here that these test were ordered by the court.  What did you do?  Bite someone.”


Vince shook his head no, “Old man Crowley, claims that we knocked his daughters up and he’s trying to get us to pay for the kids hospital bills.  There is no way the kids can be ours.  All we did with the broads was act like they was cows and we was bulls.  Have you ever played that game?”


The young man arched his eye brows.  He didn’t respond to Vince’s question.


As we were leaving the lab, Alex said loud enough for the young man to hear “Did yuh see what that dude was packing?  Either his pants are too small or he’s built like a porn star.  He had a nice butt, too.”


When we arrived in the parking lot, I looked at the two guys, “Remind me not to take you two any place again.  I almost burst out laughing.  The technician isn’t soon going to forget you guys.”


Alex chuckled, “That’s why I said what I did.  I wanted to make sure he remembered us.”


To be continued...


Editor's Notes:  Well, that was a very smart move.  Vince and Alex are pretty bright young men.  I certainly hope all this gets cleared up soon. I would really hope that Nathan and Ryan can have normal lives, or as normal as possible, under the circumstances.


I hope it won't be too long before we see the next chapter of this wonderful story.


Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher 


Posted: 03/26/10