Bart and Chris
by: E Walk
(© 2009 by the Author)
 

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Chapter 57

Chris and Farmer Bear Do A Job

The Fab 10 cleared the stage, and the crew placed a baby grand piano in the middle of the stage.  The stage went black except for a spotlight on Mr. Larkin as he announced the next performer, “Ladies and gentlemen, our next performer is a sixteen year old young man who comes from Atlanta, Georgia.  He will be playing a medley of George Gershwin songs and will conclude with a medley of Scott Joplin songs.  Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Jefferson Davis Lee.”

A spotlight was aimed at a very handsome young man dressed in a tuxedo with tails as he made his way to the piano. He bowed before sitting down after he flipped the tails of his jacket over the bench so he wouldn’t be sitting on them. 

He started to play and Chris whispered, “Dad, he doesn’t have any music.  What if he forgets what’s suppose to come next.  The Fab 10 was watching with us.  Roddy whispered to me, “The Dude is really good.”

Mr. Lee played for nearly 20 minutes before he stood and bowed to the audience.  The Fab 10, Chris, Tio and I started to applaud along with the studio audience.  When applause stopped, the young man bowed again and as he was leaving the stage, the spotlight shown on Mr. Larkin, “Ladies and gentleman, wasn’t Mr. Lee wonderful?  Kansas City can’t claim all the talent.”

“Our next guest comes to us from the great northwest.  Please welcome Ms Maria Teresa Androtti from Seattle, Washington.  Maria is sixteen and aspires to be an opera star.  She will be singing an aria from La Boheme.”

The young woman sang her aria and she did indeed have a wonderful voice.  I thought to myself, ‘It would have been fun to hear her sing with Brahim Safi since he mentioned he had to get ready for a role in an opera.’

After the applause had abated, Mr. Larkin had Maria take another bow rather a curtsey.  “You people are seeing some very talented young people today.  Our next performers come to us from here in New York City, please welcome the thirteen year old Rosen sisters, Elena, Lana and Dana.”

The music started and three very cute young ladies entered onto the stage tap dancing their way to the center of the stage.  They did a fantastic job.  They ended their routine doing a split and slowly elevated themselves simultaneously before they bowed.

Mr. Larkin was shaking his head, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have seen four very talented acts today.  We have one more act for you to witness.  Please welcome Chris Leavitt and his friends, Farmer Bear and Tio Oleander.”

Chris walked onto the stage carrying Farmer Bear with Tio beside him.  The stage crew had placed three chairs, so that one was in the center and the other two were off to the sides.

As Chris entered, Farmer Bear was complaining, “Chris, I don’t want to do this.  My stomach feels as if it is doing somersaults.”

Chris put Farmer Bear in the middle chair, “Farmer Bear, we’ll be out of here in a few minutes.  No one wants to see two eight year old boys and a boring Teddy Bear.”

Farmer Bear took exception, “I agree about no one wanting to see to eight year old boys, but I may have to sue you for calling me boring.”

Chris pointed, “Tio, you sit over there and make sure that Farmer Bear doesn’t try to escape.  I’ll sit on the other side, so he can’t get out that way.”

Chris and Tio took their seats and Farmer Bear started, “Chris, I’m worried about your Dad.”

Chris sighed, “What’s the problem now, Farmer Bear.”

Farmer Bear took a deep breath, “When he came out of the bathroom this morning, he had a towel wrapped around his waist and one wrapped around his shoulders.  He grabbed his dirty briefs and locked himself in the closet.  When he came out he, he must have turned them inside out because there were dark streaks on the back of the briefs.  I guess he forgot to pack enough clothes.”

Tio giggled, “I guess we better take him shopping for some more underwear.”

Farmer Bear yelled, “Chris, I think I’m going to puke.”

Chris pointed to Tio, “Tio, see if you can find something for Farmer Bear to throw up in.  I think he has a bad case of the jitters.”

Tio went and got the small bucket and Chris somehow made it seem like Farmer Bear was throwing up.  Farmer Bear moaned, “Chris, I told you that those Corbin boys were trying to poison me.  Whoever heard of feeding a bear crab cake sandwiches with coleslaw and cheese cake.  I’m sure they put something in my drink that made me sick.”

The two Corbin guys were standing there laughing.

Farmer Bear wasn’t finished, “The next time we go out to eat, can we get some real food, like a fresh fish with some bugs and fresh berries?  Don’t forget a gallon of fresh honey, since I don’t know where to find any beehives in this place.”

Chris started to answer but Farmer Bear interrupted, “Chris and Tio, did you see how that lady with the gray hair in the audience was shaking it all about when the Fab 10 had them doing the Hokey Pokey?”

Chris looked at the audience, “Farmer Bear, there are a number of ladies and gentlemen with gray hair. Which one are you talking about?”

Farmer Bear chuckled, “They were all doing a good job.  I’d be surprised if some of the ladies weren’t missing some of their earrings.  There were a couple of the men that were holding on to their trousers.  I guess they aren’t wearing underwear.”

Chris threw up his hands, “Farmer Bear, would you stop worrying about people’s underwear?  What did you think of the show so far?”

Farmer Bear was quiet for a short time but answered, “Chris, you need to talk to your brother and tell him to get some new clothes.  I was afraid that Bart was going to split his trousers a couple times today.  You need to make sure that the band practices more before they do another show.  I’m sure that I heard some sour notes today.”

Chris frowned, “I’ll tell them what you said.  What did you think of the rest of the show?”

Farmer Bear growled, “That penguin who played the piano was okay.  I think we need to make sure that he was really playing.  There’s no way a penguin could make a piano sound like that.  I’ll bet that the piano is one of them pianos that plays by itself. There is no way that a penguin could remember all those songs.  Did you notice how he put his tail feathers behind the bench so they wouldn’t be on the piano bench?  I guess the piano bench was dirty and he didn’t want to get his tail feathers dirty.  It’s a good thing he’s not a cat, or you know where he would be licking.”

Jeff was standing next to me, backstage.  I’m going to beat that bear and Chris up.  I’ve never been compared to a penguin or cat before.”

Farmer Bear continued, “The lady from Seattle who sang sounded good.  I think she must have had a microphone in her mouth.  There is no way she could sing like that because she’s so small.  She must have some very big lungs.  Chris, would you ask her to sing something I can understand the next time she sings?  We bears aren’t into this opera stuff.  I didn’t know if she was singing Greek, Arabic or Japanese.

Maria was standing next to Tory, “Wait until I get my hands on Chris and Farmer Bear.”

Farmer Bear continued, “Chris, you need to call the alien patrol, I’m sure that those Rosen sisters are either aliens or robots.  There is no way that three humans can synchronize their movements like they did.  You don’t suppose they’re puppets do you?  I did hear a mistake though.  I heard a click when it should have been a clack.  Human beings can’t do the spit like they did and all stand up at the same time.”

The Rosen sisters were standing there giggling.

Farmer Bear wasn’t done, “Chris, I think that Mr. Larkin person must have the measles or chicken pox or something.  He keeps pulling his hands across his chest.  Why don’t you ask your Dad to check?  Oh no, look at what Mr. Larkin is doing now.  He’s holding his throat.  You don’t suppose whatever he has gone to his throat do you?

“Chris, I need to go to the bathroom really bad.  I don’t want to make the people in here sick from the smell.”

Chris nodded, “Okay, we’ll leave right after you tell everyone goodnight.”

Farmer Bear sounded confused, “Tio, I don’t remember meeting any one by the name of Everyone.  Do you?’

Tio was laughing, “Farmer, I think Chris was telling you to say goodbye to the people in the audience.”

Farmer Bear asked, “Why do I need to do that?  They have frowned the entire time we’ve been out here.”

Chris interrupted, “Farmer Bear, just do it so we can get you to the bathroom on time.”

Farmer Bear yelled, “Goodnight, you people out there with the faces that look like they were made out of stone.”

Chris grabbed Farmer Bear and he and Tio ran off the stage.  Mr. Larkin came out and was clapping, “Ladies and Gentlemen, there is one very talented young man.  Not only is he an excellent ventriloquist, he’s a comedian.  I know for a fact that there is no way he could have practiced his act.  He did not know who the other three acts were going to be until they performed.  Chris and Tio, bring Farmer Bear and take another bow.”

We hear Farmer Bear’s voice, “Chris, I’m afraid to go back out there.  Mr. Larkin probably wants to spank me.” 

Tio appeared as if was pulling Chris who seemed to be pulling Farmer Bear to where Mr. Larkin was standing.  Chris handed Farmer Bear to Mr. Larkin,  “Here, Mr. Larkin, perhaps you can control Farmer Bear.”

Farmer Bear growled, “Look, Larkin, you lay one hand on me and you won’t be able to sit down for a month because of where I bite you.”

Mr. Larking was laughing, “Farmer Bear, I just wanted you to come back out so people could show you how much they appreciated your part of the show.  Why don’t you introduce the other acts as they return.”

Farmer Bear made a big production of introducing the acts, “First we have the three dancing robot sisters from New York City.  Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Elena, Lana and Dana Rosen.”

The three girls came tapping onto the stage and bowed in unison.  Farmer Bear giggled, “See, Mr. Larkin, I told you they were robots.”

Farmer Bear continued, “Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the young lady from Seattle, Washington with the big voice.  Please welcome Maria Teresa Androtti.”

After Maria had curtsied, Farmer Bear started on her, “Look, Maria, remember that the next time you sing, when I’m around, make sure you sing something I can understand like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”

Farmer Bear continued, “Please welcome back the young man from Atlanta, Georgia, Mr. Jefferson Lee, The Penguin, Davis who pretended he was playing the piano.”

Jeff, as we would be told to call him, waddled out onto the stage as if he was a penguin.  Farmer Bear snickered, “See, Mr. Larkin, I told you he was a penguin.”

“Mr. Larkin, I really don’t want to introduce the Fab 10 people.  I’m so sick of listening to them practice every Monday and Thursday.  When they practice, they sound so bad that I lock myself in the bathroom and stuff my ears with cotton balls.”

Chris spoke, “Farmer Bear, just do what Mr. Larkin wants, so we go do something fun.”

“Okay.  Ladies and gentlemen, here from Kansas City are the Fab 10.  I’ll introduce them individually so you can boo them.”

Chris stepped out so he could observe how the Fab 10 lined up.  He had Farmer Bear introduce them as they were lined up but skipped Bart who was standing in the middle next to Roddy.  When he introduced Steve who the last in line, Tio looked at Farmer Bear, “Farmer Bear, I think you missed someone.”

Farmer Bear started, “If you’re talking about someone whose initials are B.L., I skipped him on purpose after what he did to me last night.”

Mr. Larkin asked, “Farmer Bear, what did Bart do that was so bad last night?”

Farmer Bear sighed, “He was snoring so bad that everyone had their ears covered with the pillows.  There weren’t anymore pillows so I woke him and told him he was disturbing everyone because he was snoring so badly.  I pointed to Roddy who had crawled under the bed to get away from the noise.  Bart picked me up and threw me in the bath tub and started the water running.  Fortunately I was able to get my snorkeling gear on and was able to shut the water off.  It’s a good thing that its not cold outside or I would have bearmonia.”

Mr. Larkin laughed, “Farmer Bear, I really think you should introduce Bart so he doesn’t try to do something worse.”

Farmer Bear whined, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been directed to introduce Chris’ brother, Bartholomew Leavitt.  Thank goodness, he’s the only brother that Chris has.”

Mr. Larkin handed Farmer Bear to Chris.  He thanked the audience for being such a good audience.  He turned and pointed to the young people, “Who says there isn’t any talent in the United States anymore?”

The Corbin boys were helping the Fab 10 gather their things to take to the hotel, since they weren’t scheduled to be doing any more shows.  Bart had gone to the dressing room to get changed with Jeff Lee.  When they returned, Bart asked, “Dad, would it be okay for Jeff to join us.  He’s traveling alone.  He’s staying in the same hotel as we are.”

Chris looked at Jeff, “Are you sure this is the penguin?  He looks just like anyone else.  He could be one of the Fab 10.”

Hank Corbin arrived, “Hi, Mark, how did the taping go?”

Before I could answer, the older of the Corbin boys answered, “Dad, you hit a jackpot with these people.”

Mr. Corbin looked surprised, “Okay you two, you never come to the city.  What are you doing here?” 

The younger Corbin son announced, “We came to show the Fab 10 the sights of the city.  Can we use the K.C. Express tonight?”

Mr. Larkin joined us, “Hank, I wish you could have seen the show today.  It’s going to be fantastic.  You need to find some more sponsors so we can pay these people what they deserve.  I’m going to be interested in what the ratings are for the other shows that the Fab 10 and Chris and Farmer Brown did.  Why don’t we take them to dinner.”

The oldest Corbin boy answered, “Dad Jim, we’re going take care of the teens, you take care of the adults.  Yes, Dads, we’ll have everyone home before ten o’clock.  Why don’t we take the people who would like to go, deep sea fishing tomorrow, before we go to the theatre?”

Chris spoke, “I’m upset.  You guys have everyone taken care of except me and Tio.  What are we supposed to do?  Go beg for food.

Come on, Tio.  We’ll take Farmer Bear and walk back to the hotel.  Nobody wants us around.”

I grabbed the two boys, “You’re not going anywhere without an adult.  I’ll walk back to the hotel with you.”

I turned to the teenagers, I don’t mind if you go see the sights and have a good time, but you need to be in your hotel rooms by ten.  We don’t need Mrs. Sweet and the Del Rios to be worrying about where you are.”

Hank Corbin laughed, “Now that we’ve been put in our place.  Chris, we’ll meet whoever would like to go to dinner, in the lobby at six thirty.  We’ll go to a Chinese restaurant that is close to the hotel.”

The two boys and I walked back to the hotel.  We were just about to enter the hotel when a man approached, “You’re Chris and Tio who have the bear who talks aren’t you?”

Chris had his backpack with Farmer Bear in it.  Farmer Bear moaned, “Mr., I’m Farmer Bear who makes sure these two brats behave themselves.  Chris, get me out of here so I can see whom I’m talking to.”

The gentleman was laughing, “You’re even better than you appeared to be on the shows I saw you on.  I was sure that the shows had dubbed your words.”

Chris looked at me, “Dad, what does dubbed mean?”

The man answered, “I thought they faked Farmer Brown talking. Would you be interested in doing another show?”

Chris answered emphatically. “No, Mr. Corbin arranged for us to do four shows already.  Farmer Bear and I aren’t doing anymore for a while.  We’re tired.”

The gentleman nodded, “I might have known that Hank was involved.  Here’s my card if you ever would like to make some money.”

As Chris, Tio and I were going into the hotel, Mr. Corbin and Mr. Larkin arrived.  Mr. Corbin asked, “Are the others here yet.”

Farmer Bear sounded disgusted, “Mr. Corbin, how would we know?  We just got here.  Let’s go to the suite and see if they’ve trashed it yet.  The guys are probably messing up the showers like they always do.”

I looked at the two gentlemen, “Let’s go check to see if the people are here.  I think I’ve lost control.”

To be continued...

Editor's Notes:  This was another great chapter!  I wonder who that other person was that ran into the boys.  Let's hope he is not a bad person.  As I am sure you already know, I want more!

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Posted: 11/06/09