Chapter 21
“Eye for an Eye, Part I” 

The next morning, I woke.  It was so nice to wake up and be alive.  I went about what looked like a morning routine.  I peed; I washed my hands and face.  I made a pot of coffee, that sort of thing.  In a pair of gym shorts and with a mug in my hand, I walked onto the porch and sat there for a second.

“RYAN!” Matt exclaimed as he saw me.  “I was wondering if that was your car,” he said as he walked over to me.  I set my mug on the porch and stood from the chair that I’d brought outside.  I walked over to him and hugged him.  “How are ya, man?” he asked.

“I’m great, actually,” I answered.  “How about you?”

“If I were any better, I couldn’t stand it,” he said in his best Southern accent.

“That’s great.  Oh!  I have something for you,” I said as I remembered the gift I’d brought for him.

“You got me a gift?” he asked as I motioned for him to follow me into the apartment.  He stood in the living room as I went into the bedroom to grab the gifts.

As I presented the boxes to him, he looked at me, surprised and unsure of things.  “What’s this for?” he asked.

“It’s my own little way of starting to pay you back for saving my life,” I said.

What about me, I wondered as his eyes began to gloss over a little bit, was able to bring a strong, masculine, heterosexual man to tears?  “Thank you,” he said as he gave me another hug.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Hey.  You want one now, to celebrate things?” he asked.

“Not right now.  I’ve got a lot of stuff to do this afternoon.  I’m meeting the guy today.”

“You are?  Do you need me to go with you, to beat the shit out of him?”

“No...  I’m fine.  Thank you, though.”

“All right.  If you need me, just let me know, though.  Okay?”

“I will,” I said as we returned outside.  Matt took his cigars away, and I sat back down and continued to enjoy my cup of coffee.

A little while passed.  A few more cups of coffee were consumed before the hour came when I’d told myself I would start getting ready.  I showered, put on the clothes that I’d planned, and grabbed my camo UA hat.  With my shirt tucked in and my belt on as tightly as was comfortable, I looked at myself as I stood there.  I looked like poop.  Leave it to a gay man to be unable to dress himself on such an important day.  I quickly exchanged the white shirt for a standard polo, and the outfit came together.

At exactly 12:55, I stood ready in the living room of my apartment—ready to be done with it all, ready for the day to be over with, ready to get home to my man.  I took a few deep breaths, grabbed the things I needed, and walked from the apartment for the very last time as a captive of Kyle Rodgers and his destructive tendencies.  It was time for me to turn the tables on him, to give him a piece of his own medicine, to make him feel what he’d put me through for the previous six months.

Now, if you’ve never been to Tuscaloosa, you don’t know about game traffic.  It’s maddening as people are coming into town for whatever game.  It always seems to be worse when people from Mississippi come over.  That being said, I maneuvered myself around the city so as to miss most of the bullshit that I would have to experience if I tried to go down University Boulevard or 15th Street on my way to the police department.  I mapped the route in my mind and set out getting there in under an hour.  That’s really no small feat when you consider the hellish nature of traffic in a college town.

Once I finally found a parking space relatively close to the police department, I sat there for a few minutes, my car running and my air conditioning on full blast.  I could almost feel the adrenaline coursing through me as I thought about all that was about to happen.  Would it go my way?  Would it work how I wanted it to work?  Did he have plans of his own that would clash with mine?  I didn’t know.  I didn’t know what to expect.

Part of me at that moment just wanted to go away.  Part of me even wanted to run away, feeling that I could recover without this day.  Part of me was still angry about what he’d done.  Part of me wanted to beat the shit out of him as Justin had beat the shit out of that other kid and as Matt had offered to do for me earlier that morning. And another part of me wanted to go into that room with him, tell him that he’s forgiven, and leave.

My cell phone had been sitting in my lap and began to ring as I was thinking myself into oblivion.  “Hey,” I said after noticing that it was Brand.

“Hey, baby.  Are you okay?” he asked intently. His voice was filled with concern.

“Yeah.  I’m fine.  Just nervous.”

“Baby, don’t be nervous.  You’ll be great.  In fact, I wish that I could be there to see his reaction once you get started in on his ass.”

With a smile I said, “I love you, Brand.”

“I love you, too.  And if you decide that you don’t want to go through with this, I’ll understand.  Everyone will understand.  You’re doing something that none of us could ever imagine.  No one will think less of you, I promise,” he assured me.

“I love you, but I have to do this.  Otherwise, you have to deal with the Ryan you know and will never meet the Ryan that I could be,” I explained to him, trying to convince myself more than him.

“Go in there, then, and enjoy ripping him to shreds.  You can do it!” he cheered.

“Thank you for the confidence, coach,” I stated.

“Not a problem.  Call me when you get out or if you need me, okay?”

“All right.”

“Bye for now, Baby.  I love you.”

“I love you, too.  Ciao,” I said as we hung up the phone.  I looked into the distance and saw the police station standing there.  I thought about being in there.  I thought about why I’d come to know parts of that building that I hoped never to experience again.

It was in that moment that any trepidation, fear, and uncertainty left my body.  I grabbed my bag from the front seat and climbed out of the car.  With a newfound fervor, I walked up to the crosswalk and waited for the first opportunity to cross.  There was no hesitation as I held my head up high and walked across that street.  For the first time in months, I didn’t care who might be watching me or what might be seen.  I was Ryan… Gustavo… Collins, dammit, and I was on a mission.

I walked into the lobby and called Detective Barr from my cell.  It was no time before he met me in the lobby.  We shook hands and he took me to the conference room that I’d requested. 

“Would you like a drink?” he asked as we walked into the room.

“What do you have?”

“Soda… juice… whiskey,” Detective Barr said.

“Rum?”

“I might have some of that, too.  If not, will whiskey work?”

“Yeah.  Something to calm the nerves,” I said.

“Be right back, then,” he said as he left the room.

I set about getting everything ready how I wanted it all set up.  I plugged in my computer and started playing from a playlist that I’d created two nights earlier.  The first couple of songs I knew would be calming.  The rest of them would serve to get me ready for what was left to do.

Detective Barr returned to the room in a second with two glasses, a bottle of whiskey and two cokes.  We threw back a couple of shots together, and I thanked him for all his help.  For months, I’d known that all I had to do was call him, and he always did whatever he could for me, even when I couldn’t do things for myself. 

He left me to my own devices a little while later, and I sat there in the room just listening to my music.  I thought about what all I wanted to say to him, all that I needed to unload on him.

I looked at my watch to find that it was two on the nose.  I stood from my chair and looked out over the window.  Tuscaloosa was really beautiful, and I wished that I’d not stayed away as long as I had.  I looked down toward the ground and noticed a white SUV pulling into a space right in front of the building.

My heart started racing as the passenger door opened first and SHE got out— “she” being the mongoloid looking girlfriend.  She stood there for a second.  Was he contemplating what all was about to happen him?  What was going on in his mind?  After a second, though, he stepped out of the truck.  Two older people stepped out as well.  I assumed that they were his parents.  The four of them met in front of the car; his fiancé and the older woman took his hands on either side.  Together, they walked toward the front of the building.

“You okay?” Detective Barr asked.

“He’s here,” I said. 

To be continued...