The next Wednesday, I went to the gym as normal and swam eight laps before my body grew tired.  It was a good kind of tired, though, as I was finally beginning to feel like I did before the attack, at least physically. 

I got to work at the normal time and went through the regular motions.  Jen was already there working on the store’s financial records.

“Baur Books,” she answered the phone as I was arranging books in the Spanish-language section.  “Hold on one second.  RYAN!” she called, her voice echoing throughout the store.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“It’s your Mom,” she said as she held the phone out for me.

“Hey,” I said, wondering why she’d be calling me at the beginning of third period, right in the middle of the busy part of her day.

“I was wondering if Jen could let us borrow you for a couple of days,” she commented.

“Why?”

“That English teacher that didn’t show up to the party called Loretta this morning and told her that she’d accepted a position at another school system that paid better.”

“Oh, no!” I exclaimed.  Jen perked up and looked at me.

“Yeah...  Loretta needs to find a substitute that can start the semester until a permanent replacement is found,” Mom stated.

“Okay.  Hold on,” I said as I looked at Jen.  “Can you spare me for a couple of days?”

“Why?”

“Apparently one of the new teachers didn’t show up this morning at the high school.”

“Go!” she said.  “I can handle this.  I mean, as you can tell, it’s REAL busy,” she joked.

“Mom...  Tell Ms. Loretta that I can be there at the start of 4th period.”

“Okay.  Stanley Moss will appreciate you forever,” Mom commented as we hung up the phone from one another.

“So, Ryan,” Jen said as I was grabbing a couple of things that I’d brought in with me.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“They’re going to need a permanent replacement.  You should apply for the job if you have the option.”

“Are you firing me?” I jokingly asked.

“No.  I’m just saying that teaching is a good, noble profession, and you’d make more money than you would here.  AND...  You’d have benefits.”

“That would be nice!” I joked back.

“So apply!  Put me as a reference.  Put Donna as a reference, too.  She’ll give you a GREAT recommendation,” Jen said of the woman whom she’d been seeing consistently for almost a month, a time she jokingly referred to as longer than any of her previous relationships.

“I don’t know…” I doubted.

“DO IT!” she cried, waving a finger in my face.  “And every day, after school, you’re gonna come over here and work on your thesis.  OK?”

“If they offer it, I’ll apply,” I relented as a smile came across Jen’s face.

I left the store and raced down to OHS.  As I walked in the office, Ms. Loretta was standing there looking as though she’d been running wild all morning.  She was raking her hand through her blond hair as she talked with someone on the phone.  When she saw me, it was almost as a sense of relief came over her countenance and all the worry shed away.  She told the person that she would call them right back and came over to hug me.

“You will never know how much you are helping me out,” she said as she pulled herself out of her embrace.

“I just hope it pays good!” I joked.

“For you, the best we can offer!” she countered with a smile.  “Now...  Let me get you a pass,” she said as the secretary fashioned me a temporary pass, “and I’ll show you to your classroom.”

She gave some instructions to the secretary and then we left the room.  She escorted me down the main hallway to the second hallway.  The first classroom, formerly occupied by Denise Eller, one of my favorite teachers in high school, was mine.

“Now,” she said.  “You’ve got 4th Period English 12.  5th Period is Creative Writing.  6th Period is 10th Grade English, and then 7th Period is free.”

“So, can I do what I want to in Creative Writing?” I asked.

“Knock yourself out!” Ms. Loretta joked as she looked around the desk to make sure that I would have everything I needed for the day:  pens, paper, etc.

“Yay!” I said as I was actually getting excited about teaching a creative writing class.

“Ryan.  I really do appreciate this.  I know you have your job at the bookstore, and it was very nice of Jen to let you come help me out.”

“She was actually telling me,” I started, “that I should apply for the permanent replacement.”

“Do you want it?” Ms. Loretta asked.

I stopped for a second and thought about her question as she looked at me.  Did I really want to do that?  Did I want to teach?  Did I want to be put through the hell that I’d put teachers through in high school?  Did I have the energy and patience to do this job?

“Yes,” I answered after I thought about it.

“Come by my office during 7th Period and we’ll get everything taken care of.  It’s mostly just paperwork and such, but I’ll help you get through all of it and I’ll go talk to the superintendent right now,” she said as she hugged me again.  “You know, I can remember when you were born,” she started, “and now, you’re one of my minions!”  I smiled.

As she left the classroom, I looked around.  I hated the bareness of the walls.  I hated the way the desks were set into rows.  All the classes that I’d enjoyed were those in which there was a circle, where everyone shared thoughts and ideas.  Since I’d suddenly become nervous, I thought that that would be the way that I’d set things up.  Maybe expending the physical energy would help cure any problems that I’d had.

As I placed the last desk in a circle, Ms. Loretta made an announcement that arrangements made for ‘my’ classes were now in order and that students should disregard previous instructions and proceed to the assigned classroom… my classroom.

When the bell rang, I stood there for a second and took a couple of deep breaths.  I stepped out into the hall and stood beside the door.  I greeted a couple of students that entered the classroom as I looked at all the kids as they walked down the hall.  I wondered if I’d been that dorky when I was in high school, the freakishly tall kid often times walking by himself.

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked as he walked up.

“Apparently, I’m your new English teacher,” I answered.

“ROCK!” he said as he and Carter entered the classroom.

I looked across the hall as Brand stepped from his classroom.  He didn’t notice that I was standing there as he stood by his room, leaning his head against the wall with his eyes closed.

“Bad day?” I asked over the sound of the students who were walking between us.

He lifted his head and looked over at me.  A smile came across his face.  “Yeah,” he said.  “Real rough!”

“My first period class was the worst.  I think your brother’s in that one, though... a lot of gymnasts are,” he said.

“Talk to Paula.  She’ll make sure that they fly right, I’m sure.”

“True,” he said, having been so stressed that he didn’t think of that option.  “So, you’re the sub?” he asked as he walked over.

“Actually.  I might be more than the sub,” I answered.

“Good.  I’ll have a friendly face across the hall from me,” he commented as the tardy bell rang and a couple of kids came running into both of our classrooms.

That period went well as we sat around in the circle and introduced ourselves.  I explained that there would be a formal introduction to class the next day, but that day was just for us to talk.

About halfway through, we were called for lunch.  About a half hour later, we returned to the classroom and continued our conversation.  The time flew by.  I couldn’t believe that the very first high school class that I’d taught had gone so smoothly, much more so than the English classes that I’d taught at Alabama.

For fifth period, Justin and Carter stayed behind.  They were joined by Mike and Nate, the gymnastics quartet that translated as trouble in most cases.  Don’t get me wrong, though; I knew that Justin was the ringleader of it all.  They were joined by other students who all found seats quickly in the circle.

“For those of you who don’t know, my name is Ryan Collins, and this is Creative Writing,” I commented as all their eyes came focused onto me.  “Now...  Normally, a teacher might have you talk about who you are and such, but I’m not normal.”

“No lie!” Justin joked to snickers from the four of them.

“Remember that I know where you live,” I kidded my brother back.

“Okay,” Justin commented as he lifted both of his hands, surrendering the moment to my authority.

“So, what I would like you guys to do is take out a sheet of paper,” I started as there was shuffling of bags and such as kids pulled out pen and paper.  “I want you take a moment and write about a single moment that you feel has changed your life up to this point.”

The kids began writing, some more feverishly than others.  Justin just sat there, though.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t doing the assignment, but rather that he was thinking about something.  When he did start writing, it was powerful.  His fingers raced faster than I’d ever seen them move.  He was the first kid to flip the paper and continue writing on the back.  When he finished, he turned it over and wrote his name atop the paper and smiled at me.

“Okay, guys,” I said.  “Time’s up.  If you’re not finished, that’s okay.  This isn’t for a grade today,” I assured them.  Some of the students looked relieved by the words.  “So, what’s your name?” I turned to the girl on my right.

“Petrice,” she answered.

“Why don’t you share what you’ve written with us?” I prompted.

“Well...  My most life-changing moment is when I moved to Oneonta with my Mom ... We moved from Tuscaloosa,” she said as she turned to the paper and began to read.  She explained that she felt as though she’d taken a step back in time at first, but then she realized that a small town would afford her the opportunity to really be herself rather than just a nameless face in the crowd.

“Awesome.  Very well written!” I complimented her.

We went around the circle until we came to a girl who introduced herself as Natalie.  Her short treatise was about how she’d been accepted to Auburn, a university that she had dreamed of attending for some time.

We continued to come around the circle until we got to the gymnasts.  Nate wrote about landing his first perfect dismount.  Mike wrote about meeting Blaine Wilson at the competition a few weeks previous.  Carter wrote about his first date with his beloved.  After that one, there was a collective awe from the class, especially since a few of us knew about whom he’d written.

Then we came to Justin, who looked nervous.  “And now, Justin.  What about you?”

“Do I have to?” he asked.  “I didn’t know we were going to have to read these.”

“If everybody else has to…” I started.

He sighed and said okay.  “The most powerful moment in my life came a few months ago, in April.  I’d just gone out on my first date with my first real boyfriend, and I was atop cloud nine.  I was late coming in for curfew, and I knew that my parents would be upset if they were to catch me, so I was sneaking into the house as quietly as I could.

“As I was shutting and locking the front door behind me, the phone started ringing.  I cussed a couple of times in my mind and ran into the kitchen to grab the phone before Mom and Dad woke up.  On the other end of the line, my cousin Noelle was quite emotional.  I thought at first that she’d been arrested or something, but I quickly learned that it was all something different.

“As Noelle told me what happened, I felt like I was going to be sick.  Never had I imagined that anything like what was going on would be happening.  Never had I imagined that my brother, a guy that I’d looked up to my entire life, would be lying in a hospital bed after having been attacked by a nameless, ruthless, ignorant redneck and left to bleed in the parking lot of his Tuscaloosa condo.”

“Okay.  That’s good, Justin,” I said, cutting him off before he could continue.

Later that day, after my other class, I spent my free period with Ms. Loretta as final arrangements were made.  I then returned to the store to talk to Jen about all that had gone on, and I read through the papers in the comfort of my bedroom.

Justin’s paper was the very last one that I came to.  Part of me wanted so badly to read it; part of me was afraid of what it would say, of the words that it would contain.

I picked up where he’d left off, rereading the last sentence.  “Never had I imagined that my brother, a guy that I’d looked up to my entire life, would be lying in a hospital bed after having been attacked by a nameless, ruthless, ignorant redneck and left to bleed to death in the parking lot of his Tuscaloosa condo.

“My heart fell out of my chest as I walked up the stairs to wake my parents and tell them what had happened.  Initially, they told me that I would have to stay at home with my nieces, but I wasn’t going to just sit there and worry.  One thing about me is that I have to see for myself that things are okay, or I’ll worry myself sick. 

“I called my other brother as Dad was talking to Noelle and told him what happened.  Parker wanted to go and hunt this person down, but he knew that he shouldn’t act without thinking about the consequences of his actions.

“When we got to Tuscaloosa, I quickly found my brother lying in the bathroom of his condo.  He looked almost helpless as he lay there, having bled so much and thrown up so much that the room was a mess with blood.  I wanted to sit there and cry, but I knew that he wouldn’t want me to.

“The reason why this is the most significant moment in my life is because it has made me realize the importance of enjoying life to the fullest.  It’s made me appreciate my family more.  It’s made me understand that not everyone is going to be nice simply because I’m Justin Ernesto Collins.”

I set the paper on the stack with the others and thought about what he’d written.  I was moved by it.  From just reading his paper, I began to realize the effect I had on people and the effect that this event in my life had on who those around me were to become.

I went to bed early that night, as I knew that I would have to get up earlier than normal if I wanted to get in my morning workout.  As I drifted into sleep, I realized that this man, Kyle Rodgers, had affected more than just my life.  He’d had a lasting effect, albeit indirectly, with every single person that I would encounter until the day of my departure from the planet. 

To be continued...

Posted: 02/17/12