A Helping Hand
By: DL
(Copyright 2007 by the Author)
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are
allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
dl@tickiestories.us
We stayed at the table for about fifteen minutes while we finished our drinks, and just idly chatted about everyday things – the 2Js' hands remained clasped all the while. As I finished my drink and the boys were just downing the last of theirs, I extracted my car keys and handed them to Julian, explaining that I would just go and settle the bill and meet them at the car.
I settled up with our host, retrieving the booking confirmation CC slip and paying the one for the meal and drinks instead. I left a generous 20% tip in the staff gratuities dish beside the cash register and thanked our host for an enjoyable meal, complimenting him on the state of his premises and saying that we would return. He was very pleased we'd enjoyed our meal and we shook hands and parted cordially.
Back at the car, the 2Js were ensconced in the back, and I noted that while Juan had retained his seat at the left [passenger's door] side, Julian had foregone the inertia-reel seat belt at the other side and opted for the static lap-strap in the middle and was snuggled up to Juan with his left arm around Juan's shoulders. Apparently the boys had shed some inhibitions during our meal and the following conversation.
As I took my seat and reached round to fasten my seatbelt Julian leaned forward and held out the keys for me. I took them, and as I was facing them, said, "So, boys, what do you want to do now? I'd guess that Juan is probably feeling a bit sore and tired?" Julian had apparently talked this over with Juan as he answered readily, "Would you mind if we stopped at your place so that I can call my mum to tell her I'll be a bit late, and – if that's OK with you – would you mind running me home once Juan's gone to bed?"
I was quietly amused and impressed at how quickly love seemed to be spreading, but wasn't about to put any obstacles in its path: Julian seemed like a decent kid and Juan could certainly use a break. "That's fine with me, if Juan's OK with it?" I said and Juan quickly piped up, "Thanks, Dave!" Taking the direct route from the restaurant it didn't take long to get us home and I couldn't help but notice a trace of disappointment flit across Julian's face as I turned into my drive. I resolved to say nothing about it until I drove him home, simply filing it away mentally.
I gave Julian the house keys as I switched off and watched with wry amusement as he quickly grabbed them while unfastening his lap-strap. Then he got out of the car and hurried round to Juan's door. By the time I'd switched off the ignition, set the steering wheel lock and got out my side he was already helping him out and then to the house. I just locked the car as normal and followed in their wake.
Inside, Juan obviously told Julian which way to go, and they went through to the lounge and sat on the bed/settee. I mentally thought to myself that I'd have to do away with it and get a three-piece suite instead, and went and sat at the dining table so as not to crowd the 2Js. After making sure Juan was settled, Julian asked, "Can I use your phone to call home – and would it be OK if you ran me home in about an hour?" I idly checked my watch, noting that it was about 22:45, and just nodded as I said, "OK". Julian called home and the conversation, though short, seemed to me to go better than he had been expecting.
Hanging up, he looked at me and said, "Mum asked how I was getting home and I said you'd take me; she's not so pissed with me now." I smiled and Julian returned to sit beside Juan, taking his hand once more before looking over to me and saying, "Is it OK with you if I help Juan out of his clothes and into the bath?" I couldn't help smiling broadly at this – making the 2Js flush simultaneously as I did so – and said, "That's really up to Juan: he's nearly an adult, and aside from probably wishing that he could bathe himself, I suspect he would appreciate a helping hand from you much more than me!" That brought another simultaneous blush.
Julian stood up and helped Juan to his feet and they made their way to the hall and on to the bathroom. I went and made myself a coffee and sat down to enjoy it while flicking the channels on the TV. I didn't find anything remotely interesting and then checked the TeleText for the latest headlines [remember this was before the advent of SkyNews and BBC24!] checking out a few of the interesting items. By the time I'd finished and flicked the TV to 'Standby'. I noticed that just over half an hour had elapsed, so I wandered down the hall, finding the bathroom light out and the bedroom light on.
I stopped outside and knocked firmly, waiting, and it was only a matter of seconds before Juan called out, "Its OK, Dave, you can come in." I entered to find Juan tucked up in bed with Julian perched on the side of the bed and Juan's head cradled in his lap while he caressed it. I smiled at the tableau and said, "Glad to see everything's OK. Sorry, but I just noticed how fast the time was passing and thought I'd better check on you as I should be heading for the hills with Julian shortly."
Julian looked apprehensively at Juan and said, "Guess I'd better go; I'm going to miss you. I don't know when I'll be able to see you next." I cleared my throat just after he said that and said, "Would you like to visit Juan again?" Julian had carried on caressing Juan all the while he had been talking, and had returned his gaze to him after briefly looking at me when he started to speak. Now he looked up at me and there were mixed signals in his face: ironically, I would have said, equal measures of hope and despair. "Did you really have to ask that?" he quietly replied.
I thought about my question and his reply before replying, "OK, Julian, let's try that one again. Tomorrow's Friday, and after the events of the last two days, I really do have to go to work; that means our little ray of sunshine here can rest up during the day. If you pair would like to see each other again tomorrow, I could always pick you up on my way home from work?"
Both boys glowed at the same time, and Juan looked up at Julian and then over at me, smiling wistfully, "Would you mind doing that? I'd really like to get to spend some time with Julian." I smiled and nodded, "That's easily fixed; if the pair of you can make your minds up quickly on what you'd like to eat we can pick up a takeaway on our way home as well." As I said it I remembered the phone, and taking out my trusty pad and pen wrote down the private number twice, ripping the sheet off and then in half and giving one piece to Julian, saying, "Sorry, I'd forgotten that I had given you the number of the phone I never answer" – he looked at me oddly, and I continued, "Don't ask. Anyway, I have a second line" – and I pointed to the phone by the bed – "which my family and friends use; and I do answer that one. And, as you can see, the phone is by the bed so you needn't worry about dragging Juan out of bed if you call him during the day." As I said this, Julian looked at the paper and his face lit up in a wonderful ear-to-ear grin as he realised exactly what I'd just said.
"So, Julian, we'd better be going." As I said this Julian gently raised Juan's head and slipped off the bed, and just as gently he laid Juan's head on the pillow and then bent over and kissed him. He caressed his head as he stood up, and came over to the door, turning and waving his hand as he said, "Bye, see you tomorrow!" I let him pass me and said to Juan, "I won't be too long: it's only about a half an hour there and back," as I turned and followed Julian out the door.
Julian and I made for the car, and before switching on the ignition I turned to him and said, "Julian, I said back at the restaurant that Juan's private life was his business; and that's practically true except for one thing. He's hurt and wounded mentally and physically at the moment, and although he's not my son, he's staying with me for now, and I do care about him and I don't want to see him get hurt any more."
Julian looked at me very much as he had back at MFI when I'd thought, 'he's got guts, and he doesn't like me,' and then his look softened, and he said, "Sorry, Dave, for a moment there I was going to tell you to fuck off; but you have a point: if he's upset and living with you it'll inevitably affect you. I haven't felt the way I do now about Juan with either of the two boys I've dated." He halted, kind of self-consciously, and paused momentarily before continuing, blushing bright red as he did so, "I've never had sex yet: it never seemed right for us … but I feel different about Juan, and I do think he's the one for me. I just hope he feels the same way about me."
I was silent for a while, feeling a bit embarrassed at quite how the conversation had turned out. "Well, Julian, what I guess I'm trying to say is that he's very mixed up right now, and taking his rejection by his dad – and, worse, losing his brother – very badly. Give him a little time to settle down and adjust; he needs time before he reaches out again. Personally, not that it's any of my business, nothing would make me happier than to see the two of you together."
Julian looked at me hopefully, saying, "So, you're not going to keep me away from him?" I laughed, "You're almost as bad as me: what part of my asking you if you would like to visit Juan tomorrow didn't reach your brain cell?" He grinned evilly at me as my reply sunk in.
I smiled and said: "Julian, I noticed a look of disappointment flit across your face when I turned in here, and I think it was because you realised where we were and that it was some way from Bury and didn't have a bus route." I looked at him as I said it and caught a look of embarrassment cross his face as I continued, "All I'll say is that while Juan is interested in seeing you, I don't have a problem in running either of you backwards and forwards. Maybe when he's fully recovered and we've sorted him out properly, if you're still together, you can sleep over at the weekends." I noticed Julian's elated look and moved swiftly to put it in perspective: "That's up to Juan, but in any event, it isn't going to be this side of Christmas; but maybe if you both want to celebrate Christmas together we could even go away together."
This seemed to be acceptable to Julian as he smiled contentedly and nodded. I started the ignition and headed off to town. On the way, I said to Julian, "It looks to me like I need to get rid of the bed/settee and replace it with a three-piece suite and I'll also need another bed and wardrobe for the other bedroom." This wiped the smile off Julian's face, and I had to laugh as he looked at me with a sullen frown on his face. "God, you're so easily wound up once someone gets close to you, aren't you?" [Like I could talk?!]
I continued, "I only mentioned it because I hate shopping with a passion, and you work in a furniture store. How do you feel about finding a couple of each that I could look at and choose from if I popped in just before you closed tomorrow? And could you see if you can fix it so everything's delivered together?" He smiled as he realised that I had meant nothing by the reference to the second bed, and said, "Yeah, sure; as for the delivery, that's not a problem. We can fix most things if we want to; it's just a matter of whether the customer has rubbed us up the wrong way or not." As he said that I shot him a sidelong glance and he chuckled and said, "Don't worry, I'll make sure tomorrow that nothing goes astray with your stuff!"
I smiled and said, "Thanks; what time do you finish tomorrow?" He grinned and said, "We close at 5:30, but if you pop in just before then we don't actually shut and lock up until 6:00 and it'll be no problem processing your order once you've picked what you want – we do it all the time for family and friends."
By this time we were coming up to Julian's home and I stopped just down the road, and said to him, "Give me that piece of paper with the phone number on a minute." He looked puzzled, but fished it out of his jacket pocket and handed it over. I wrote another number on it adding [DW] after it and handed it back, saying, "I should have thought to do that in the first place: that's my work direct-dial phone number, in case you need to talk to me – its all right, you don't have to worry about calling it, I'm the only one who will answer it and I don't have any irksome restrictions on taking calls!" He looked at it, smiled and put it back in his pocket. "Thanks, Dave!" he said. As he turned to open the door, I pressed the central locking and reached over and shook his arm; he heard the slight whirr of the locks, but didn't recognise the sound. Feeling my touch on his arm he turned back to me and then looked at my outstretched hand, then up at me.
He stared at me, and then looked back at my hand before saying, "Dave, I can't take that; I didn't do anything and in any case you'd already got to talk to Juan." I just smiled at him and said, "Well, Julian, I was brought up to keep my promises; and while its true I don't always succeed – usually because I'm stupid enough to promise something I shouldn't – I do always try. As I recall, I offered you that earlier this afternoon if you would spend the evening with me and Juan. As I'm dropping you off just before midnight and you tucked Juan up in bed before we left my place after we had been to a restaurant, it seems to me that you did what we agreed."
He stared at me, frowning. "I really can't take it, Dave." I smiled at him and said, "Well, I don't think you have too much choice as you're not getting out of this car until you do; and in case you get any smart ideas about chucking it on the seat after I unlock the doors, that could put a serious crimp in your chances with Juan. Tell you what, why you don't you take it and buy yourself or someone you care about something special tomorrow?" He continued to look at me, but gradually the frown disappeared and was replaced by a slight smile. "OK, I think you're wrong, but I'm not going to argue with you as you came up with a compelling argument," he said as he reluctantly took the folded £50 I was holding out to him.
I released the door locks and said, "Goodnight, Julian; thanks for a great evening. I'll see you tomorrow just before 5:30 – call me if you need to for anything." He smiled, waved and closed the door, and I watched him turn into the drive of his house and pulled away for the return journey.
* * *
Arriving home, I locked the car and then the house and quickly went down to the bedroom to make sure Juan was OK. I was surprised to find him both awake and propped up on his pillows against the headboard with a serious look on his face and his arms crossed. I wondered what had brought this on, but didn't have to wait too long to find out as I'd barely looked in the door before he said, "Julian called".
I sighed as I stepped inside and moved over to the side of the bed and then squatted down so that I was on the same level as him. "OK, so what exactly did Julian say that caused you to get in a strop?" I enquired.
Juan looked at me coldly before replying, "He told me about the conversations at both ends of the journey." I smiled grimly and said, "So, what exactly did he tell you that upset you? Don't I get the chance to explain before you get worked up?" That thought stopped Juan for a moment and his face relaxed slightly as he thought about it, finally he replied, "He said you had asked him how he felt about me. I thought you said back at the restaurant that my life was my private affair?"
I reached out and ruffled his hair, and said, "It is, within reason. I told you earlier that I would love you like a son and be there for you as a father should when you had problems. The problem with that is at this moment in time, you're both physically and mentally hurt and of the two the physical beating is nothing to worry about: you're a basically healthy kid and a week to ten days should see it just an unpleasant memory."
I paused here, took a deep breath and continued, "Unfortunately, the mental hurt is a lot harder, and to be honest I know – and I think you know as well – that you may never get over the rejection by your dad; and that even if you do, you'll never be happy unless you can somehow be reunited with your brother. All I said to Julian was that at this moment you're not really yourself and he – and I – need to give you time to get over the worst of it enough to know your own mind. I hope that Julian told you that I had no problem with you and him continuing to see each other and maybe even spending a lot more time together – just not for a while."
Juan looked at me as I finished, and I could see that he was in an inner turmoil. I leant over, brushed his hair gently back and then kissed him on the forehead. "Juan, you've had a really shitty life this past week. Just look at it like this: it would seem that there are two people who care about you in different ways and they both just want you to be happy. Can you understand that?" He nodded slowly, letting the words sink in.
Mussing his hair again I said, "All I want from you is for you not to rush off into someone's arms because they happen to be here now just when you're recovering from being rejected. I don't know whether Julian told you this bit, but I also said to him that personally nothing would please me more than the pair of you being together when you actually know your own mind. However, as far as I'm concerned, before that happens there has to be a normal, stable Juan, who gets on with his life doing normal happy things like going to school, taking exams, being odd boy out in a new school. That type of thing."
As I went through this list, Juan smiled at first, then frowned and finally looked decidedly glum. I laughed at his discomfiture. He scowled at me and said, "You'd make me go back to school? Besides you can't, you're not my dad!"
I laughed, and said, "For that small mercy we should both be eternally grateful. But if you think that I'm going to let you just toss your life away you're mistaken. And I intend dealing with your dad tomorrow."
As I said this, Juan's smile disappeared quickly to be replaced by a very worried look. "You're not going to do anything stupid are you?" he finally said.
I smiled at him and said, "No, I've been thinking about this since last night and I've decided to call him again and tell him that I have a medical report detailing the severe physical abuse that you have received and that I will hand it to the Police and Social Services unless he agrees to two things. I'll make sure that he understands that if Social Services get the report Javier may well be taken away from him and placed in care; and that the Police may prosecute him if they have the report."
Juan thought about that and I could see that he was beginning to think it might work. "So what are the two things you want from my dad?" he finally asked.
I stroked his hair and said, "Well, I'm not sure that asking him to take you back would be a good idea, so I thought the best solution as he clearly didn't want you, was for him to relinquish his parental rights for the last few months until your eighteenth birthday. The second thing was that he would have to allow you to spend half an hour with Javier with him and me there to see that nothing untoward took place, so you could be at peace with your brother."
Juan broke down and cried as I outlined the last part of my master plan and I simply cuddled his head in my arms and rocked him until he'd cried himself out again. Eventually he composed himself and shortly thereafter looked up at me and said, "Do you think that would work?" I hugged him and said, "It might work if I can just get him to listen long enough to understand the position he's in. Once he realises that, commonsense should do the trick."
To be continued …
Posted: 04/14/07