Tool-Shed Memoires

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Author's note: I submit this chapter in memory of ben tover, aka h.s., aka Hank Snow. We were working on the remaining parts of this story when he took ill. He was also doing the editing which is why there has been such a long delay in posting the rest of this story. Unfortunately, he never recovered. I was able to recover these remaining chapters and am attempting to edit them. I hope that you continue to enjoy his humor which borders on zany and his brilliance shown in his method to learn how to spell. If this chapter brings a smile to your face please consider lighting a candle
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=HankS in memory of Hank and say a little prayer that the Saints in Heaven are now enjoying the Hank Snow show and laughing the halos off!

"Josh, my butt is yours any time you need to lay one in me, but this poor nomad lives on the road and never knows where he might find a place to bed down for the night. It was only my southern hospitality which obliges me to open myself to receive into our hearth a pilgrim worker.” He then added, to the Fed-EX Man, “Please step right into my boudoir ... I mean the kitchen ... and I will gladly stir your pudding ... instantly!" to which the Fed-EX man responded with open-mouthed shock.

Chapter 15

[Author's note: This chapter was written before Jonathan Davis was called to his eternal reward. It was written by myself and hs as all the other chapters with the idea of having some fun with the nicks of the other authors including Jonathan's. I have chosen to post the rest of these chapters even though hs has joined Jonathan. My hope is that the readers will understand that it was written in love of life and with respect to all the great authors on the tickiestories site.]

Woody had succeeded in making Mark speak in tongues, but was determined not to let the Man waste a load of good, creamy fuck-juice by simply sucking it down his throat ... no, he was intent on getting the cock in his mouth to take care of his joy-chute for him. He slowly pulled his mouth up off the throat-filling snack and looked up at Mark with a big friendly smile, then turned around and got the empty ass in question raised up, with his shoulders on the floor, and waited for insertion which he knew wouldn't take long to happen ... it didn't.

"Sir if you could just sign here, I think I will be on my way." the Fed Ex man asserted.

"Nonsense! The master, I mean the owner would have me horse whipped if I didn't serve you something. Now you do not want to see poor little me tied down to a wooden horse and spanked until my cheeks are pink and my balls blew? Now do you?"

"I reccond not." Said the delivery man trying to get his mind tied around the vivid picture that James just painted for his imagination.

Woody was a good Man, and despite the fact that he preferred to pitch rather than catch ... he was an accomplished catcher. Mark discovered this just as soon as he plunged his weapon of ass satisfaction up the kneeling cowboy's hole ... and felt the powerful muscles within instantly giving his cock the kind of stimulation normally expected from a strong-fisted jacking-off ... his cock was virtually pulled in by the action of this rarely used sphincter and its neighboring man-flesh ... and as Mark began seeking his rhythm, the excited Woody pushed back with every plunge in, his timing perfect ... giving Mark a taste of what Grade-A sex with a pro should feel like. Mark wanted this to go on forever ... but thinking of his most gracious and hospitable host, he returned the attention, bending over Woody to get better access to his pecs and nipples, and so that he could occasionally reach down to help out that dangling cock below him, which certainly seemed to want some loving of its own.

James poured a beer into a tall glass and put it on the table and indicated to JD to take a seat. Once JD sat with his back to James, a foolish mistake typical of a tenderfoot, James grabbed his wide shoulder and began massaging them as if he were again kneading dough.

JD moaned with delight as James worked the tension out of his shoulder muscles. "Wow, you must work out, your body is so well developed and your muscles feel so powerful. It just sends shivers up and down my spine!" James giggled knowing his prey was now held within his talons.

Mark was having a grand time fucking Woody, and Woody wasn't too bored with being bored, himself ... Mark's wandering hands were pure heaven to the bottomed man, and as Mark fondled and lovingly squeezed his balls and cock, his pleasures mounted higher, as did his moaning. But it was when those hands would reach for his nipples and knead, pull, squeeze and pinch them that he really rocketed off, and Mark quickly realized this, making the adjustment needed to spend more time doing just those things to Woody.

"Oh man that feels so good!" JD said, against his better judgment. He felt his natural repulsion and defense mechanisms diminishing quickly as James' trained hands manipulated each muscle, releasing the stored tensions one by one. JD continued melting in James' able hands as if he were butter slowing being clarified over a warm and affectionate pilot light.

(What in the hell is an affectionate pilot light? Never mind, don't ruin the moment with silly questions, and just keep on reading...)

When James moved his hand down his well trained pecs and worked them in circular movements, all of JD ability to resist swirled down the drain. JD was hypnotized by James ability to transmit pleasure why simultaneously liberating the captive spirit which has be yearning to escape the rigged social norms which lead us to deny our truest and most natural urges to be touched, caressed and comforted. Now James seeing his prey swoon, moved his fingers gingerly over the buttons of the Fed Ex man's uniform shirt and loosed them so as to permit entry of his hands over the studs nice hairy chest.

While James conducted his psycho-therapeutically-sound and psycho-analytically-correct massage in the erstwhile pantry, Mark was working at a much more basic and humble level, trying to please Woody's fuck-hole, and hoping beyond hope that his methods were pedagogically-sound and backed up by the scientific literature. Woody provided ample verbal encouragement to lead him to believe he was on the right track, so he continued to ravage the ranch-hand stud's hole with unparalleled zeal and unprecedented devotion to duty, his cock feeling like a battering-ram as it slid furiously in and out of the finely-tuned rose-bud.

James could only imagine what things were going on in the oubliette, as he slaved away in the kitchen attending to the ranch's special guest. He continued to move his hands around the delivery boy's chest, squeezing his hard pecs much like he would squeeze the melons and vegetables to determine their quality and freshness. His well trained hands told him that the Fed Ex man was ripe for picking. James bent over the man and kissed him on the crown of his head, paying him the homage due youthful and innocent beauty. Then James pulled his chair back from the table and moved around and sat across the hot dude's lap. Their faces moved closer and closer as they both anticipated the delivery of a kiss, but how was he going to sign for it? The now entrapped short pants, hunk was about to meet the kiss of the spider woman, I mean James was about to use his vampire skills to extract the last drop of heterosexual blood out of his prey while infusing him with a fetal dose of gay venom, which would serve to bring all his repressed wants to the surface of his consciousness.

Woody was extremely satisfied with Mark's handling of his aching and needy fuck-hole, and thought to himself that he'd done a good thing by submitting to Mark in the first place, instead of simply overpowering the Man with his own studly charms ... it wasn't always that Woody felt this good about subbing for another man, and this was a premiere fuck if ever there were one.

As James worked his tongue into the mouth of the bewildered Fed Ex man who was now loosing all sense of direction, the moist hot tongue he found led him to think how nice it would be to make a quiche.

As things began to heat up between the two, James remembered to preheat the oven and reaching over to it set it for 350 degrees, he put even more pressure on JD's thighs, thus pressing his eggs tightly in his hot crotch.

Mark was headed towards the grand finale of his Herculean labors, and both he and Woody were drenched in sweat ... the grunts from their exertions, if recorded, would have been fodder for masturbatory festivals all by themselves. Mark began to increase his attention to Woody's nipples , tugging, twisting and squeezing them, only occasionally reaching down to fondle his balls for him.

As James reached over JD, the delivery man's face was pressed into James well exercised chest muscles. The aroma of James perfumes were causing the young man to swoon as he moaned from the pain of his nuts which felt like they were in the pressure cooker.

It was not very long after this that Mark began to sense the point of no return approaching ... and Woody was beginning to make those tell-tale groans and growls which said that his time was close, too. Within minutes, Mark exploded up his sub's famished cock-chute, and roared out his relief like a lion in pain ... as if on cue, Woody, his balls in Mark's hand at the time being gently squeezed, erupted simultaneously, and his own yells were a perfect accompaniment to Mark's. The two took some time to complete their climax, and then fell in a puddle of spent Man-flesh, holding on to each other like there were no tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Sandy and Dark Shadow met in the barn and began to saddle up a couple of horses so they could ride out and look for the cattle that had broken through the fence.

“Well that depends on what you mean by oversexed? Compared to you, one might say they are undersexed or compared to James, very undersexed and underfed.”

“Speaking of under fed,,,, I wonder where that Fex Ex man went to? Sandy asked.

Our cast leaps three weeks into the future ... lab results are now back on all their enslaved former-cops and -prison-guards ... and two of the enslaved are going to require 'special handling'.

Sandy and Darkshadow were back from their roundup of strayed cattle and fence mending and were now sitting in the kitchen having a sandwich which James had prepared for them.

So boys, anything interesting happen while you were out on the range where the cowboys sing all day?"

"Not really. but what happened to that Fed Ex man that was here when we left? Did you entertain him at the level to which we take pride here at our little dude ranch?" Dark Shadow answered James grayly.

As James struggled to formulate a titillating reply to Dark's query, a group of ranch-hands were in the oubliette completing the processing of the newly-enslaved law-enforcement officers, who'd been suffering grievously since their arrival at the ranch, as no one had told them why this had happened to them, or even where they were. They'd been held in cement-floored cages naked, fed dog-kibble-biscuits with water, had been douched twice daily, had been subjected to total body shaving (from the neck down) and had been given Marine Corps-style 'high-and-tight' haircuts, and all were wearing CB-6000 chastity devices to make sure that there would be no sexual release for any of them without permission. It was a hellish situation for them, but, thank goodness, it was about to become much more intense and much more hellish in the next few minutes, as the ranch-hands began their intake work.

"Well, if you two are going to keep your lips sealed with why it took you so long to round up those calves, then I don't see why I should have to tell you what happened to the Fex Ex man when he screamed, "my balls, my balls!" Said James teasingly.

"You see at that moment I was sitting on his lap and had reached over to preheat the oven because I intended to make quiche... you know how I make it, like you men prefer.... no salt, but with bacon bits....." James was saying when Dark who had a lovely five o'clock shadow interrupted him.

"Why should I describe his balls if you are not going to tell me about the many rocky mountain oysters that you had on your little outing?"

In the oubliette, Sandy was reading the lab results ... and was presented with a problem, the likes of which he'd never before had to deal with. It seemed that two of his slaves had come back with positive results on their STD screens, and would require not only special handling, but a special drug regimen. Sandy did not want to turn this into some thing much worse than it already was, but wanted to handle it on the Q-T, and decided to have the two positives sent to him in a cell away from the others, to break the news to them and to explain the situation ... without alerting anyone else at the ranch to the situation unless absolutely necessary.

"Look, I said not much happened, but you know out on the range, with only buffalo roaming at night, and no tv and no place to go, well, as Sandy and I sat around the camp fire, he couldn't help but admire my hand shadows as I make a bunny rabbit, jack-ass, and dove." Said DS.

"That gives me a good idea for dinner tonight. We have had quail eggs for sometime." James said and both Sandy and James furrowed their brow.

"Nothing! and that is just how much you two have told me, absolutely nothing!" So why should I tell you how I ripped off JD's shorts when he yelled, "my balls, my balls!" James said putting his foot down...

Sandy grinned at James' far-too Manly mannerisms, and stood up, saying, “I'll expect to hear about all these quail eggs and Fed-Ex balls when I get back later, but right now I have a mission to see to in the oubliette ... y'all have too much fun, now, y'hear?” and with a smile he didn't feel inside, headed out to give two enslaved men the worst news of their young lives.

"How was he going to tell them that quail eggs were on the menu for dinner that night and it was his fault?" he worried and also wondered how he could let them know about the good news of getting special treatment.

"So you mean to say that you two didn't do more than shadow box up in those solitary and lonely hills?" James pressured DS as he peeled an onion.

JD, teary eyed, finally admitted, "Well, you know how Sandy can be so hung up on his Alpha wolf status, and as it turned out, our fire went out one night and when we awoke we were surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves,"

"Well, if you remember, we had some of your left over flopped soufflé, and he quickly pulled it out of our saddle bag which we were using as a pillow and fed it to them."

"What, what did I say? JD said feeling a dark foreboding cloud had just cast a shadow over the conversation.

"You said, saddle bag, not bags! Something did happen, I knew it!" James said with tears streaming down his eyes.

Sandy arrived at the oubliette and having passed through the security ports, told Woody and Mark to bring the two slaves, named Butch Nieves and Paul Denis, to the sound-proofed cell at the end of the last corridor, and to have them gagged. He would remove the gags after he'd spoken his piece to the two men, but needed to be able to get it all out first before that could happen. He felt almost like crying, but realized how pointless and inappropriate that'd be in a situation and place like this, so he maintained a calm composure and went to the cell to await the delivery of the two slaves.

"Well, yes of course we DID something.....first, we polished our boots, and then Sandy made me lick his with my tongue.: DS admitted.

He make your lick his boots?" James said weeping openly as he continued to peal back layers of his onions.

"No, sorry.... he gave me a lollipop" DS said as tears continued to flow down his cheeks.¨

Woody and Mark arrived a few moments later with Nieves and Denis, and positioned then in a kneeling up stance before Sandy, who was sitting on the edge of the single bunk in the cell, which was itself a sort of mini-dungeon intended to be used for interrogation and retraining sessions. Sandy said, “Thanks, guys ... we need to be left alone here for a while ... I'll ring when I want out later, OK?” and the two cowboys nodded and left, locking the door behind them.

Turning his sober attention to the two kneeling slaves before him, Sandy took a moment to formulate his thoughts, and then said, “You two deserve an explanation before I give you the other news I have. So, here goes ...

Dear Readers: Please cut and paste and send to the authors,

so that they may better serve you all in the future!

( ) I enjoy the deep philosophical underpinnings of this parable.

( ) I was moved by the metaphysical analogy between Flemming representing the status quo of a complacent government and the growing unity of third-world nations in their global concern over the warming of the planet.

( ) Forget the political critique and get back to the pure sex for which you are both are famous. Love your other stories on Nifty.

( ) I prefer to read more about cowboys out on the range where the buffalo roam.

( ) I can't answer this poll because my hands are covered with Vaseline and I don't want to mess up the keyboard.