Church of the Holy Seed
(Revised)
by: Tom Borden

© 2010 by the author

Edit & Revised by: Gerry Young

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

This is another episode in the life of Roger Thompson, who is relentless in his search for sexual pleasure. Although my own life does not parallel that of Roger, he is my alter ego, who adds life to my fantasies. This episode is dedicated to my dear friend, Masayuki.

Chapter 1

My name is Roger Thompson. I was not raised in a particularly religious family, but I have always had a belief in God and the sanctity of life. For some time, I had felt a need to be a part of a church where I could worship God in a thoroughly fitting way. I tried out a number of churches ... a Roman Catholic church and several of the standard Protestant churches;  I even tried a couple churches that had serpent handlers and even those that had people who would bite off chickens’ heads and then drink the chicken blood mixed with Rum. But none of them seemed to satisfy my needs. In each of them, I was asked to believe in outrageous things that I simply could not understand. They were all rife with complicated ceremonies that meant nothing to me.

I began to look around for other churches that were not housed in multi-million dollar temples and cloaked in pagan ritual. One day, I passed by a large but plain looking building with a sign out in front that read, "The Church of the Holy Seed." To me this was obviously not one of the old, mainline churches I had already visited.

I parked and went in to inquire about it. The office was right next to the front door, and I spoke to the young man who was sitting at the desk. He said, "If you will have a seat, I will tell Father John that you are here."

Soon, a tall, handsome man of about forty came in. He smiled and shook my hand and invited me into his office. He said, "I understand you may be interested in joining our church."

"Yes," I said. "I want to join a church, but all the standard ones seem bent on rules and laws and meaningless mumbo-jumbo. I've been looking for one where I can really celebrate the beauty and sanctity of life that God has given us."

Father John smiled and said, "Mr. Thompson, I am sure you will find that, although we do have certain ceremonies that we must perform, our congregation does indeed celebrate the life that God has given us."

I noticed a painting of a large object hanging behind the Father's desk, and said, "That painting … I find I can't take my eyes off of it. It's so interesting, but I can't make out exactly what it is."

Father John said, "That is the symbol of life that we worship here. It is a scrotum. The scrotum contains the jewels that produce all life on God's Earth. If it were not for the sperm that is produced by those jewels, we would have no life at all."

"You mean you worship a pair of balls!" I said.

"Please, Mr. Thompson. We don't use street language here. They should properly be referred to as testicles."

"Interesting!" I said. "Then you don't have all the 'bells and smells' and all the statues and stuff sitting around that we're supposed to believe in?"

"Oh, no. A large sculpted scrotum and penis resides at the back of the alter. These are symbols of God's Love and the Life He has granted us. Therefore we worship and adore them at our services."

"It sounds interesting," I said. "So you worship a big cock and a pair of balls, eh?"

"Mr. Thompson, please! It is a penis and testicles that God in his Grace has given each man. I would suggest that you attend our worship service next Sunday to see for yourself and to determine if this might be the church for you." Then checking his calendar, Father John said, "Let me see, now. Oh, yes. This Sunday we are having a Confirmation Service for the youngsters. The young sons of some of our parishioners—the boys who have recently reached their fifteenth birthdays—they'll be confirmed into the church that day. They've all taken their confirmation classes."

"What does that entail?" I asked.

"Well, it's a very exciting day for them. This will be the first day that they will be able to ejaculate their precious sperm at the alter. They've all been working very hard preparing for it."

"How do they prepare?" I asked.

"Upon entering puberty, each boy spends a great deal of time with his father … or a male father-figure guardian …, who demonstrates and teaches the boy what we know as technique. This is all done outside the church premises, preferably in the privacy and safety of the boy’s home. I assume you masturbate, Mr. Thompson, and know that one has to experiment and find the technique that is right for him."

"Of course, but I don't believe this," I said. "What does the confirmation ceremony consist of, exactly?"

"Well, as each boy approaches his fifteenth birthday, I, or one of our priests, will talk with the boy privately, to determine whether he truly desires to participate in the rituals, which are public only to the confirmed congregation.

"If we learn that he feels at all 'pressured' to participate, we will not allow his confirmation to proceed until such time as he, himself, is comfortable with what will be required.

"For those boys who are thrilled to participate, then as soon as possible after his fifteenth birthday, each boy is accompanied by his father … or male guardian … up the steps of the sacred dais.  The father stands next to his son with his right hand on the boy’s shoulder, giving silent permission and encouragement.  The boy first masturbates, as he was so lovingly taught, and shoots his sperm onto the body of one of our priests, who lies on a sacred carpet in the middle of the altar. As the sperm falls on the priest's naked body, it is sanctified by God. Then to finish the ceremony, each priest shoots his own sperm into the mouth of the boy he is assigned to. As the boy swallows the priest's sperm, his body then contains the holy seed and HE—the boy—is sanctified. He then becomes a member of the church."

"It sounds hot, Father," I said.

"No, my son. It is God's Love and Grace that is spread throughout the teen's body. Oh, I almost forgot; we also have the junior class. This consists of all the boys from the age of fifteen through seventeen. They, of course, had all been confirmed earlier with a priest in good standing with the church, but they must go through a re-confirmation each year. This consists of each boy and his own father coming to the alter, where the father inserts his penis directly into his son's mouth, where it is manipulated by his son's tongue and lips until his father ejaculates his sperm into the boy. This not only continues to infuse the boy with God's holiness, it serves as a holy bond between father and son."

All I could say was, "Wow!"

Father John continued. "All men over eighteen must then perform Communion every Sunday. This means that every man in the congregation must come up to the altar and must masturbate over the priests of this church who are lying on the sacred carpet. Whenever our Bishop attends a service, however, the ceremony is altered, whereby the Bishop takes each man's penis in his mouth and brings each man to orgasm. Sometimes our Bishop will take and swallow the sperm of forty or fifty men, all in the course of a couple of hours. To cast one's sperm into the body of the Bishop is one of the holiest acts we perform."

I finally said, If I want to become a member of this church, what kind of a ceremony would be required of me?"

"Oh, Mr. Thompson, you would find it a ceremony of great beauty. You will feel the loving presence of God surging through your body like you have never felt before. Your naked body would first be covered with the holy sperm of all of our priests, as well as of any man in the congregation who feels moved to come up and cast his sperm on your body. Then you will receive, directly into your body through your mouth, the sacred sperm of our Bishop. As you swallow it, you will feel the holiness of your own body. At that point you will be confirmed as a member of our church. Then as a token of your faith, you will be asked to masturbate your penis, also in front of the congregation, into the mouth of the Bishop. You will then be united with the church in our reverence and love of God."

"Tell, me, Father," I finally said, "what about the women in the church. Do they have to do something to become members?"

"Well, the women can never become full members of our church. They may attend our services only through their connection with their husbands and sons. But since they do not produce God's holy sperm, they cannot be fully confirmed. There are many men, however, who have wanted their wives to become members, and our Bishop has agreed to a special ceremony to allow them to become what we call Associate Members. These ceremonies are held on Wednesday nights in our parish hall. At this ceremony, each husband inserts his penis into his wife's cunt ... I … I mean, her vagina, and releases his own holy sperm into her. After that, one of our priests also releases his own sacred sperm into the woman's vagina, thus casting upon her a certain sanctify. After all of the women present have been filled with their husbands' and the priest's sperm, they usually have a social hour of coffee and sandwiches. We have had several cases, however, where the husband has had serious erectile problems. In that case, we allow their young son to throw his sperm into his mother. But only if he has been confirmed into the holiness of the church."

Upon learning the basis of worship of this church, I sat stunned. But I was hard as a rock, and could feel the wetness of my underwear on my skin. I said, "It looks to me that this might be the church for me. Already, I can feel the excitement of God's Love inside of me."

Father John stood up and said, "We won't be having confirmation ceremonies for adults such as yourself until the following Sunday. But I would strongly urge you to attend this Sunday so that you can learn more about the church before you decide. Before you leave, Mr. Thompson, I would like to give you a little gift ... a gift of God's life force, so to speak."

Father John took off his suit coat and undid his buckle and let his pants drop to the floor, revealing a hard cock of at least nine inches. "If you will hold out your hand, Mr. Thompson, I will put it there. Then I will ask you to eat it from your hand and feel the grace of God spreading through your body."

Father John walked around the desk and stood next to where I was sitting. He said, "As I stroke, please hold my scrotum with your other hand. I am a priest, and a priest's scrotum is a holy object. Holding it, you will feel the glory of God as I deposit my sperm in your hand."

Father John began to stroke faster and faster, with his breathing becoming more and more labored. Throwing his head back suddenly and letting out a growling roar, I could see his penis throbbing wildly as each powerful stream of thick white cream shot into my hand. It was beautiful. I could almost see the heart of God in that sperm. When he had squeezed the last drops from the end of his penis, I thrust my hand to my mouth and ate his sperm like a ravenous dog. Hot and thick, it slid over my lips and down over my tongue. As it seeped slowly down my throat, I longed for more. I truly felt the warmth of God's Love surging through my body.

Putting his hand gently on my head, Father John said simply, "Bless you, my son."

On Sunday, as I entered the church, I was accompanied by a throng of mothers and fathers, all dressed in their Sunday best. With many of them were their mid-teenaged sons, all dressed up in their neatly pressed pants and white shirts, and with their hair slicked back. They looked like angels, all eager to be confirmed in the church.

I overheard one father telling his son, "Now remember, Kenny, hold your penis like I showed you. And make sure you let your sperm fall directly on the priest and, mind you, be sure not to get any sperm on the sacred rug. The last few times we did it at home, you shot a few drops that missed me and went off onto the sheet."

"Okay, Dad, I promise I'll do it good."

Then the father said, "Are you still good and hard? I played with your penis on the way here and got it pretty hard. Do you still have it?"

"I sure do. I'm ready."

After the congregation was seated, Father John, dressed in long white and gold robes stepped to the front of the altar and made several announcements. One was about the confirmation of new adult members the following Sunday. Another was about the ceremony for women coming up that Wednesday night in the parish Hall. The church outing at the Sunny Shores Nudist camp two weeks thence was being cancelled since the owners of the camp had put in new rules that there could be no open and visible masturbation. Many of the other non-church members who frequented the camp objected to the sight of men lying about while other men shot their sperm onto their bodies. Father John said that we didn't need to consort with non-believers, and that he had appointed a committee of lay people to examine the possibility of purchasing land where the church could establish its own nudist facility.

Then Father John turned and, facing the enormous sculpture of a hard cock and balls, kissed it and muttered something that could not be heard. Then, turning to the congregation, he removed his robes, revealing his fine naked body from which his very straight and hard penis protruded. He said, "Now we will proceed with the confirmation of our young sons."

Nine priests appeared from a side door, all dressed in long white robes with gold sashes and stoles. Each stood at an individual sacred carpet and slowly removed their robes, draping them on the railing behind them. They were all young men in their twenties and early thirties. Each of them had a very stiff erection. Father John ceremoniously knelt before each one and kissed his penis first, and then his balls, which he fondled carefully in his hand. Then each priest lay on his back on his sacred carpet.

Nine young boys stood and, kissing their proud fathers, walked up to the altar. Father John helped arrange them so one boy was standing over each of the priests. Then he instructed them to remove their clothes. They had all been told not to wear underwear so that the removal of their clothes could be accomplished quickly. All had very hard penises, except one boy, who was struggling to get his up.

It looked at though the boy was about to cry, and Father John asked him what was the matter. The boy said, "My dad always gets it up for me. I can't do it."

Father John said, "Will Bobby's dad please come up here and help his son?"

Bobby's dad jumped up on the altar and knelt down in front of Bobby, taking his son's penis into his mouth. In just a few seconds, Bobby started to smile. His penis was now hard as a rock.

Once again, Father John, knelt down in front of each boy and ceremoniously kissed his penis and his balls. Then he said, "In God's name, our church [meaning the priests] will now receive the life-giving sperm from our young children. We will immerse our bodies in their sacred fluid."

I sat and watched each of these eager boys begin stroking in earnest ... their sweet smooth white bodies with their tiny hips moving and jerking with every stroke. I could hear fathers and mothers around me murmuring words of encouragement, like "Come on, son; try to shoot it all on the priest's penis," etc.

As I watched, I noticed one boy begin to bend his knees and contort his face. I knew he was about to cum. Then suddenly, his penis erupted shooting a stream that completely missed its target and landed on the sacred rug. But quickly getting control of his penis, he was able to shoot every subsequent stream directly onto the priest's own penis and balls. Then, one by one, the other boys started to moan and shoot their loads onto the bodies of the priests lying on the floor.

The excitement of the ceremony took hold of me and I began rubbing my crotch with great force. Next to me, a young father had already released his hard penis from its confines and was stroking it. His sixteen-year-old son, who sat next to him, was also stroking his own penis. The father could see that I was squirming in great frustration and said, "Don't hold back, man, this is the time to celebrate the glory of God! Let Him see our sperm as a testament to our faith in the life force of God!"

I unbuckled my pants and shoved them down to my ankles in a frenzy. As I stroked, I watched as the naked priests rose to their feet. Each boy then knelt before one of them and, with his right hand grasped the gorged penis and pushed it into his mouth. With his left hand, he gently cupped the priest's sacred balls.

The father sitting on the other side of me turned to me and said, "I practiced this ritual a long time with my son. He tended to grab hold of my balls too tightly at first. Also, he had some difficulty getting the large head of my penis into his mouth. Then I would feel his fuckin' teeth. Christ! But we finally perfected it. Looks like he's doing fine up there. He's the short guy, the second one from the left."

I said to him, "Well, it looks like he's taking the whole shaft into his mouth. That was easily an eight-incher, too. He's quite a boy!"

The father said proudly, "Well, he was finally able to take all of mine down his throat, too, and I've got nine inches!"

I could see the boys eagerly running the priests' penises in and out of their mouths, some pulling off briefly to run their tongues over the heads of the penises. Soon, I could see the ass cheeks of some of the priests begin to tense up while their hips began to buck slightly. Within just a few seconds of each other, the priests began to growl and moan and groan, indicating that they were spewing their sacred sperm into the bellies of these youngsters.

The Confirmation ceremony was then over, and all the proud moms and dads began to applaud their sons who had become full-fledged members of the Church of the Holy Seed. Without dressing, the boys picked up their clothes and returned to their seats in the sanctuary with their parents. It was custom that each father was then to kiss and lick the head of his son's penis as a token of the newly formed sacred bond between father and son.

After the congregation finally settled down, Father John, still with his nine-inch cock standing up at a forty-five degree angle, came forward and announced that they would now perform the re-confirmation of all the fifteen- through seventeen-year-olds who were present for the ceremony. "Will all those young men who are here for re-confirmation of their faith come forward with their fathers."

Standing before the five young men who came forward, Father John looked at them and explained, "Now, each of you is here to re-confirm your faith by taking the sacred sperm from your fathers into your body. Please remove your clothes and stand before God in all your supplicating nakedness. And all of you fathers will also please remove your clothes and place them on the railing behind you."

After all the clothes had been removed, the boys knelt before their fathers and took their fathers' hard penises into their mouths. Looking at these teenaged boys convinced me they were among the Earth's truest beauties. All five had ass cheeks as round as melons and bodies that could only have been created by a heavenly God. As the boys held their fathers' penises in their mouths, the fathers all started a steady fucking motion. "Those men are fucking their sons' mouths!" I said to the man next to me. He replied, "That has become a tradition with that age group. Those boys are bigger with bigger mouths, which allows their fathers' to fuck their mouths pretty hard."

I had been stroking my cock fairly hard for awhile, and I was very close to shooting my own load. The man next to me could see this, and said, "When you cum, shoot it into that little cup that's provided in the slot on the back of the seat in front of you. After the service, the priests come around and collect the cups of sperm and have their own ceremony where they all drink it from a sacred silver chalice. It is a ceremony that brings them closer to being at one with their congregation and with God."

I asked the man, "How much sperm do they collect out of these cups?"

"Oh, it's usually close to a quart. Some of the parishioners deposit two or more loads in the course of the service. Any man in the congregation is allowed to join the priests in this ritual, but the priests drink most of it."

The fathers were now fucking their sons' mouths hard and fast. As I watched the fathers' balls begin to pull up into their bodies, one right after the other began to spew their sperm, flooding their sons' mouths with the hot creamy juice. I could see strings of cum dripping off some of the boys' chins. Once again, as the fathers pulled their turgid penises from their sons' mouths, there was applause from the congregation for the boys who had had their faith reconfirmed.

Father John stood before the congregation and said, "Normally, this is the time when we call all the faithful to come to the altar and ejaculate their precious seed into the bodies of our sacred priests. But I see that practically all of the men here today have either pumped their sacred sperm into the bodies of their sons or of our priests, and many have already given an offering of their sperm in the collection cups. So this week, we will dispense with part of our service.

The service was over. All the naked priests then walked down the aisle and stood by the door, shaking hands with the people as they left. All the boys who had been confirmed or reconfirmed walked naked with their naked fathers through the church yard to their cars. I stayed behind to have a word with Father John. We sat in one of the pews in the back of the church.

I said, "It was a thrilling and uplifting service, Father John. I believe I'll be here next Sunday for my own induction into the church."

Father John still had his hard-on and stroked it gently as we talked. I said, "Father John, may I touch your balls ... I mean your scrotum. I want to feel God's Love on my hand."

Father John fell back on the pew and said, "My son, yes, you may. And I want you to take my sperm with you today. From it, you will feel God's power surging through your body."

I leaned over and took all of Father John's nine inches into my mouth. It was wet and slimy with pre-cum and it tasted like no other penis I had ever tasted. It was truly a sacred penis and I couldn't wait for that holy cream to pour forth into my body. As I ran my lips over the Father's rock-hard penis, I could feel it getting even harder, and suddenly my mouth and throat were flooded with the warm thick fluid of life. I held it in my mouth as long as I could and let it drip down my throat into my stomach. I truly felt that my body had been flooded with the Grace of God. My body was limp and felt as though it were about to float into the air.

As I got up, Father John said, pointing to the cup on the back of the pew, "Would you care to leave an offering before you leave?"

I told him that I had already filled a cup during the service. Father John smiled and said, "We will expect you next Sunday. Right now it appears you will be the only adult being confirmed.

After returning home, I felt renewed. My spirit was soaring. I had contributed my seed for the glory of God. And I knew that on the following Sunday I would taste the sacred seed from God that would issue forth from the holy penises of the ordained priests. Every day I felt uplifted from the anticipation of that holy ceremony that awaited me.

When Sunday finally came, I was one of the first to enter the church and took a seat in the front row. I stared in awe at the great sculpted scrotum on the altar. The large imposing penis that protruded above it almost seemed to be alive. As I sat transfixed at the sight at this great monolith, it actually seemed to me that it was throbbing rhythmically, and I even thought I could see a bubble of thick white sperm oozing from the tip of it.

I quickly came to my senses, however, when Father John stepped forward and read the announcements. Among them was an announcement that two members of the congregation, a father and his thirteen-year-old son, had given an offering to the church.

"I am happy and grateful to announce that Mr. Cummings and his son, Charlie, have donated a jar of their sperm to our church. For the past month, they each ejaculated every day into the jar. They presented it to me early this morning. Each of our priests immediately had a small taste of it and wish to express their gratitude for the gift of Mr. Cummings and his young son's sperm."

As Father John held up the jar of watery liquid to the applause of the congregation, he said, "God bless you both!"

"Now, I am pleased to announce that we are about to confirm a new member," said Father John. "His name is Roger Thompson. Mr. Thompson, would you step up here, please?"

I got up and ascended the steps of the dais to the altar, accompanied by light applause. I felt flushed with excitement now that I was so close to becoming a member.

"Mr. Thompson, please remove all of your clothes and place them on the railing behind you. Then lie down on your back on the sacred carpet, where you will be immersed in the holy sperm of our priests." Then turning to the congregation, he said, "All men who wish to add their sperm to the holy sperm bath of this man, please remove your clothes, leave them on your seat, and come up to altar."

After removing my clothes and lying down on the sacred carpet, the nine priests entered and ceremoniously removed their long robes, revealing nine very handsome slim bodies and nine very hard penises of various lengths and thickness. Soon a total of fifty-two naked men from the congregation were standing around me, slowly massaging their balls and penises in anticipation of their part in the ceremony. First, the nine priests encircled me and began stroking their penises. As one would moan and shoot his sperm upon my body, he would step aside and allow a man from the congregation to take his place. Over a period of about forty-five minutes, I had the sperm of sixty-one penises shot onto my body from head to toe. My face was covered with sperm, much of which ran into my mouth. My chest and stomach and pubic hair was covered with great gobs of thick white cum. Many aimed their sperm onto my penis and balls. My balls felt tickled as sperm slowly dripped off them. My legs were likewise covered with thick sperm. My eyelids also had sperm on them, which prevented me from opening my eyes very wide.

As I lay there covered with sperm, the priests stood back, and the men from the congregation returned to their seats. As my body then became visible to the whole congregation, they all stood to get a better view of my sperm soaked body and applauded.

Very shortly, the Bishop entered, resplendent in red and gold robes and wearing a jeweled Bishop's hat. Father John helped me up and told me to kneel in front of the Bishop. As I stood, I could feel the thinning sperm running in rivulets down my body, much of it dripping in a stream off my hard penis. The Bishop, with the help of two naked priests, slowly removed his robes to revel another magnificent male specimen. His penis appeared to be no less than ten inches long and had a gentle curve upward.

Father John whispered to me to move closer to the Bishop on my knees and take his engorged penis into my mouth. Slowly, he began fucking my mouth, and his low-slung balls swung to and fro. I didn't have to move my head at all, but I allowed my tongue to feel the hardened veins, which encircled the Bishop's penis.

For five minutes, the Bishop pumped his cock in and out of my mouth. I prayed he would never stop. I reached up and cupped his large hairy balls in my hand, which brought a short cry of pleasure from his lips. Soon I could feel his ball sack tighten and crinkle as those low slung balls began to ascend into his body. The throbbing, slick, moist glans of his penis began to swell until it almost filled my mouth.

Suddenly the Bishop shouted, "Praise God! Let this man now taste and have his body filled with the sweet seed of life!"

Then as he began to fuck my face harder, he called out, "Oh shit! Oh shit! Eat my fuckin' cock!" He then flooded my mouth with his hot thick sperm. It came so fast, it started to dribble down my chin before I could swallow it. It just kept streaming into my mouth. I felt transported to a new level of holiness as I felt God's warmth spread throughout my body.

As the Bishop slowly pulled his penis out of my mouth, he sank down in a chair that was hastily brought up behind him, and gasped for air.

Father John then instructed me to stand before the Bishop and masturbate my penis. When I was ready to cum, I was to thrust it into the Bishop's mouth, sending my hot sperm into the Bishop's belly. It was to be my first token of faith as a member of the Church of the Holy Seed. As I looked into the gorgeous chiseled features of the Bishop's face, and stroked my hard penis within inches of it, I felt that I was about to have a union with God, Himself, that I had never felt possible.

I could feel my body stiffening and my back beginning to arch. My whole insides began to tingle and my penis felt as though it were made of solid stone. I stepped forward and thrust my throbbing penis into the Bishop's waiting open mouth just as I felt my sperm surging through the shaft and spurting to the back of his throat. The Bishop suddenly took hold of my balls and squeezed gently. I could see his Adam's apple bouncing up and down as he swallowed my sperm.

As my orgasm slowly subsided, I pulled my penis out of the Bishop's mouth and fell to my knees. He reached over and placed his hand on my head and said, "You are now a member of the Church of the Holy Seed, my son."

As I stood up, the entire congregation likewise stood and then applauded me. I felt so proud that I had successfully completed the ceremony. As I looked down at the assemblage, I saw that only one man was not standing. He was still seated, naked of course, with his legs apart. His young son was crouched on the floor sucking his father furiously. The father smiled at me and put his hands up in the air as though to say, "Well, what can you do? The boy was horny, so I'm letting him have a little suck."

I looked down at him with an understanding smile.

Father John walked forward and said, "Now we usually have all you men who have not yet ejaculated your sperm come up and bathe our priests with what you have to give them. But as you know, when our dear Bishop is present, he will suck your sperm from you and will ingest it all. If all of you who have not already offered your sperm today will come forward and form a line here in front of the Bishop's chair, we can proceed."

I counted forty-eight men who came up and formed a line to have the Bishop suck their penises and swallow their sperm. I returned to my seat in the audience to watch. It took over two hours for the Bishop to suck the sperm from those forty-eight men. During that time, practically all of the men and boys left in the audience were busily making an effort to shoot another load into the cups provided as an offering. In a number of instances, there were men and boys sucking on other men and boys in order to prime the pump, so to speak, for those who had already shot a load earlier. Also some of the wives and mothers were also lending a hand in this regard to some of the men. The man next to me had already cum twice. But he knew he could cum a third time if his son would sit on the floor and fuck him with the vibrating dildo he had brought along. He leaned over to me and said, "I can shoot a load anytime with my son fucking me with that dildo. I don't know how he does it, but he sure knows how to manipulate it up my ass!"

When the service was finally over, and the poor bloated Bishop managed to leave the altar, I felt exhilarated and walked briskly home. My wife and children had opted not to get involved in this church. In fact, I had not told them a single thing about its beliefs and ceremonies. When I returned home, my wife's only comment was, "Well, dear, I hope you heard an uplifting sermon at that new church."

"Oh, it was quite … uplifting …" I said, smiling to myself, as I hurried to shower and then to throw my sticky clothes into the washing machine.

Over the next several nights, I lay in bed thinking about and reveling in my new-found connection with God. But for some reason, the heavenly religious glow began to fade, no matter how hard I tried to keep it at the forefront of my thoughts. The sperm, the hard penises, the orgasmic contortions, the erotic male bodies, having my body covered in sperm, shooting my sperm, and having powerful orgasms in front of a crowd of several hundred applauding worshipers. These were the things that were coming back to me, turning me into a frenzied lump of a man, burning with sexual desire. Where was my love of God? Where was the warm and fuzzy feel of God's Grace that had just a few days before gripped my very soul?

The answer was obvious now. It was pure eroticism that had gripped me. It had nothing to do with God. It was just the man-to-man sex that I wanted ... down and dirty raunchy sex. That's all it was. And now what did I have to show for it? I had been looking for a religious experience—something I had felt was missing in my life. I was dreadfully vulnerable, and I had allowed myself to be taken in by this gang of sexual deviates. I sat up in bed suddenly, sweat running down my cheeks. "My God, what have I done!" I thought.

Several days later, I stopped off at a hotel bar for a drink before going home to supper. Sitting next to me was a young gentleman about my age. His name was Jeff. We struck up a conversation. He told me that he was an executive officer of a large company, and he traveled to this city several days a week. I informed him of my own work as a freelance writer and author, as well as my professorial work at the University. He was also married and also had two sons, as I had. Around about the second drink, it came out very subtly that we were both gay. We talked a little about our meager experiences in that area, and the pain and loneliness we often suffered as married men.

It was clear that we were attracted to each other, both physically and in other ways. We were both intelligent, responsible men, with respectable employment, and we found conversation with each other interesting.

I told him that I was enjoying our conversation and that perhaps we could meet again for a drink. It was then that he very tentatively asked if I would like to come up to his room for one more drink.

After arriving in Jeff's room, we sat across from each other at a small table and talked as we drank. It was clear that we had both been out of circulation, so to speak, in the gay world, and it had been hard. He told me that he longed more than anything just to be hugged by a man again, to feel a man's strong arms around him, and feel his warm breath on his cheek. Even if there was no sex, if he had just that, all of his feelings and longings would be satisfied.

I suddenly began to think about the word "Love." I felt revulsion over the fact that I so recently attached love of God to the love of sperm. What I had felt with those people in that church was lust. Pure lust. Love had nothing to do with any of it. When he got up to get more water, I impulsively stood up and took him in my arms and we hugged each other tightly. We kissed each other on the cheek and then lightly on the lips. I saw something in his eyes that I never saw in the eyes of those priests.

I saw in his eyes a passion and a longing. We had both suddenly found something that neither of us had had for so long. Neither of us even thought about sex. We stood there locked in each other's arms, feeling warm and secure and loved.

Soon, we lay on the bed, fully dressed, still tight in each other's arms and kissing each other's faces. Such a glow of happiness spread over me, that I could feel my eyes begin to burn and fill with tears. The same was happening with him. We both had fallen in love. Neither of us dared, though, to say it. We looked deeply into each other's eyes, and there we saw that love without saying a word.

Knowing that we both had to go home and resume our "other" lives, we tore ourselves from each other's arms. It was now after midnight. My wife would be asleep, and there would probably be no need for explanation. But we agreed to meet again. Jeff would be in town two days each week, and it would be on those nights that the secret true love that Jeff and I had found with each other would bloom and be consumated. And our sperm had nothing to do with the love of God.

To be continued...

Posted: 02/26/10