Feeling Comfortable In My Own Skin

By: B W
(© 2012 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 4
The Sweetest Guy. 

The next morning when I awoke, Aiden was still holding on to me.  You can’t imagine how wonderful it feels to start the day off with the one you love clutching you tightly against his bosom.  At that moment in time, I felt as if only the two of us existed and I would spend eternity wrapped in his loving embrace.  The world, if not the entire universe was mine, as long as I had Aiden’s love, devotion and protection. 

Unfortunately, I also had a class, so I knew I had to get out of bed and get moving.   Before I did, I squeezed Aiden’s arm, to express the love I felt for him, and then I slipped out from under the covers, so I could get dressed.  I wanted so badly just to stay there with him and lie in that bed for the rest of the day, but the harsh reality of life beckoned me.  We both needed to work hard and attain our degrees so we could afford to have a wonderful and happy life that we could share. 

I went through the day without seeing Aiden at all.  The fact that we were separated caused me a great deal of anxiety and distress.  My mind was filled with thoughts of him and I could still feel his touch, hear his voice and recall his smell.  The latter was the result of the collection of fragrances he used – his toothpaste, shampoo, body wash, deodorant and cologne.   It was my potpourri of Aiden and it became the fuel I used to get through the day.  The trouble is, I was forced to purge these memories of him from my mind so I could focus on what was going on in class, and that was not an easy task. 

In the middle of a lecture, Aiden’s face would suddenly appear before my mind’s eye.  I could feel and taste his lips as they closed in on mine, and I could hear his tender, melodic voice as he said my name and swore his love for me.  I could feel the touch of his fingers, as they glided over my chest and traced delicate circles around my nipples.  I think I might have even let out an audible groan, because about that same time I noticed a couple of people suddenly turning in their seats and staring at me.  I guess I’ll have to work harder at keeping these thoughts from interfering with my studies. 

I couldn’t wait to get back to the dorm room as soon as my last class had finished, but Aiden wasn’t there yet.  Now, I had to endure the agony of waiting for him to show up.  I sat on my side of the bed and listened for the sound of his footsteps in the hall, as well as the gentle scraping of his key in the lock and the barely audible click of the doorknob as it opened.  The seconds grew into minutes, but the minutes seemed like hours, as I waited for the man I loved to return and hold me tight.  Finally, he appeared.

I raced to the door to greet him and threw my arms around his neck, while planting my lips over his.  I didn’t even allow him the chance to close the door behind him, so we were exposed to anyone passing by.  I no longer cared!  I just knew I had to share my love with him.

“Whoa, is this the same guy that was afraid of others seeing the beds pushed together?” Aiden teased.  “Does this mean we’ll have sex in public next?” 

“I’m just so happy you’re here,” I responded.  “I’m sorry if I got a bit carried away.”

“It’s not a problem for me,” Aiden quipped, “as long as it doesn’t bothers you.” 

“I guess I no longer care about what others think,” I replied, “as long as I have you.” 

“I guess this means my tortoise just transformed into a hare,” Aiden joked, as he started to tickle my ribs. 

I began to squirm and tried to move away, but he wouldn’t stop.  I continued to back up, but Aiden moved with me and maintained his contact with my body.  Suddenly, I felt my legs hit against something hard and then Aiden pushed me backwards.  I landed on the bed, with Aiden squarely on top of me.  He was kissing me passionately and energetically grinding our bodies together. 

“Door is still open,” I reminded him. 

This warning caused him to lift his head and stare into my face. 

“That’s kind of a mood killer, you know,” he quipped. 

He kissed me once more and then jumped up, ran back, closed the door and locked it.  He then returned to the bed and leaped on me again. 

“Where were we?” he asked, rhetorically.  “Ah, yes.  I remember now,” he added, for effect, as he pressed his lips against mine. 

I’m not sure how long we stayed like this, as we continued to enjoy the moment and display our love for each other.  Aiden was simply incredible and made me feel better than I ever imagined possible.  Oh, how I regret knowing this moment has to eventually come to end.  Fortunately, that didn’t occur right away and I savored our time together for as long as it lasted.  Finally, Aiden rolled off of me and spoke. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked. 

“Only for you,” I answered and he laughed. 

“A gay boy cannot live on love alone,” he announced, as if he were a philosopher.

“I can try,” I offered. 

“You might,” he agreed, “but that’s why I need to make sure you get the sustenance you need, so you can enjoy what I have planned for you later.” 

“Oooooh, and what might that include?” I wondered. 

“Join me for dinner and you will discover what you wish to know when we return,” he offered. 

How could I refuse such a lovely invitation? 

We walked across campus to the dining hall, but I don’t remember doing that, nor could I recall what I had to eat.  Aiden had ordered for both of us and I merely ate, well at least whenever he urged me too.  I was staring at him the entire time and had absolutely no interest in whatever had been put on my plate.  I did eat a little, but only enough to please Aiden, because I didn’t feel hungry – just in love. 

When we got back to our room, I grabbed a hold of Aiden, just as soon as the door shut.  I began kissing him again and forcing his lips against mine, because I couldn’t get enough of him.  A short time later, Aiden made me stop. 

“We can’t keep this up, because we both need to study,” he told me. 

“That can wait,” I responded quickly, because I knew I didn’t want this end. 

“Unfortunately, it can’t,” Aiden insisted.  “We’ll both study now and then we can make out some more later.  Neither one of us can afford to flunk out – otherwise we’ll be booted out of school and our time together will end.  If that should happen, then there won’t be a thing we can do to stay together, because we just live too far apart.  I don’t want that to happen, so let’s hit the books.”

Although I didn’t want to admit it, Aiden was right.  If either of us was forced to drop out of school for any reason, we’d end up having to return home and then we probably would never see each other again.  For that reason alone, I gave in to his request and vowed I wouldn’t ever allow that to happen. 

I studied very hard for the next couple of hours and so did Aiden.  Finally, we put down our books. 

“Okay, here’s the surprise,” Aiden announced. 

He went to his closet and pulled out two very large bags, brought them over to where I was sitting and dumped the contents onto the bed.  It was the queen-size bedding. 

“Okay, help me make the bed now,” he stated next, so I happily jumped up and did as he’d requested. 

Once the sheets had been tucked in and the blanket and comforter placed over top of it, we went down to the communal bathroom and performed our nightly bedtime ritual.  When we returned to the room, we eagerly hopped into bed together, because tonight it truly was one bed.  I was so excited I could hardly wait until Aiden wrapped his arms around me and I could taste his sweet lips again.  At last, I was in heaven. 

We kissed, caressed and held each other for the longest time, but then Aiden tossed back the covers, rolled over on his side and then rose up slightly, so he could straddle my legs.  When he did, he began to lift up my tee shirt and pulled it over my head, so I sat up and made it easier for him to accomplish.  Once he tossed that garment aside, he tugged down my boxer-briefs, so I was completely naked.

After Aiden did this, he lay down beside me again and we resumed kissing.  Only this time his hand was rubbing my testicles, before he tenderly began stroking my cock.  I’d masturbated before, but it never felt as wonderful as this did, so I wasn’t sure if it was because we were also kissing or because Aiden was doing this to me.  Then again it may have been a combination of both.  It was absolutely wonderful. 

This was all new to me and I was totally aroused by Aiden’s touch.  As you can imagine, it didn’t take him long to get me off.  My body was tingling as he brought me closer to orgasm and then my juices exploded from my penis and quickly covered my chest and abdomen in a sticky mess. 

While I was recuperating from this mind-blowing climax, Aiden hopped off the bed and grabbed a towel, so he could begin cleaning me up.  As soon as he lay beside me again, he wrapped his arm across my body and cuddled with me awhile longer. 

“That was fantastic,” I gushed.  “It was better than anything I’ve ever felt before.” 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Aiden replied, “because I certainly enjoyed doing it for you.” 

“Ok, now let me do it to you,” I offered. 

Aiden eagerly accepted my offer and I was anxious to return the favor.  I’d never touched a penis other than my own, which means I’ve never done this to anyone beside myself, but I was more than willing to give it a try.  Once Aiden was naked too, I began running my hand delicately over his privates until he became erect, and then I began to jack him off as well. 

I loved how his penis felt in my hand, because it seemed to fit perfectly into my palm.  Eagerly, I pumped my hand up and down on his cock, but doing this was getting me all excited again and I thought I might even cum a second time before I brought Aiden off.  Luckily, that didn’t happen and I was able to give Aiden as much pleasure as he’d give me – or at least I hoped I had. 

Once I cleaned Aiden up, he suggested that we needed to get some sleep, so I reluctantly agreed.  We slipped our underwear back on and went down to use the toilet and brush our teeth.  When we got back, we hoped into bed again and prepared to sleep, but not before I kissed Aiden one final time and thanked him for the wonderful experience.  I then kissed him again, but this time I tried to remember everything about it, so I’d have the memory to cling to for the remainder of the night. 

We continued to hold each other as we slept and only broke our physical connection when one of us had to get up to use the toilet.  If only I could believe life was so wonderful and fair that I’ll be able to enjoy moments like this forever.  Is there a chance I’ll be so lucky?  I certainly hope so. 

When the alarm went off in the morning, I got up, dressed and took off for my first class.  I reset the alarm for Aiden, because his first class wasn’t until later.  I didn’t see him again until we had our psych class together and I was finding it almost impossible to concentrate on what Dr. Swift was saying with Aiden sitting so close to me.  I forced myself to do it, well mostly, but I hated to have him leave again.  However, he had another class to go to and I had another class and a lab after pysch. 

When I returned to our room later, Aiden greeted me affectionately at the door and then we ended up on the bed kissing.  Suddenly, he sat up, got off the bed and walked over to his computer, without saying a word about what he was doing.  I wasn’t sure what he was up to, but he started typing on the keyboard and then I began to hear music. 

“I found this on YouTube and I want you to listen to the words carefully,” Aiden told me, so I did.

I love how your eyes close
Whenever you kiss me
And when I'm away from you
I love how you miss me
I love the way your kiss is always heavenly
But darling most of all
I love how you love me

I love how your heart beats
Whenever I hold you
I love how you think of me
Without being told to
I love the way your touch is always tenderly
But darling most of all
I love how you love me

I love how your eyes close
Each time that you kiss me
And when I'm away from you
I love how you miss me
I love the way your kiss is always heavenly
But darling most of all
I love how you love me

When the song ended, all I could do was stare at Aiden lovingly.  My heart was pounding in my chest, my eyes were watering and I was all choked up.  Aiden was looking at me, waiting for a response, but I couldn’t say a thing. 

“I know it’s a really old song,” Aiden began, when I didn’t say anything.  “I heard ‘Neutral Milk Hotel’ do it one time and then it just sort of popped into my mind earlier, while I was waiting for you.  I checked YouTube to see if it was on there and I found a whole bunch of different versions of the same song.  I listened to each of them and liked this one best.  The Paris Sisters made this recording back in the 60’s, so I know it’s ancient, but they make it sound so sexy.  The only other version I really cared for was this one.”

Aiden immediately got up and began typing on his computer again, and then shortly after he stopped the same song began to play again.  Only this time there was a male vocalist singing it. 

“This version is done by a guy, so it’s more appropriate for us,” Aiden stated.  “The singer’s name is Bobby Vinton and I think this was also recorded in the 60’s.” 

Having said that, Aiden returned to the bed and started kissing me again, as the song played.  I kept listening to the words of the lyrics, even though I was enjoying what Aiden was doing to me.  When the song ended, Aiden spoke again. 

“So what did you think?” he asked. 

“It’s a little old-fashioned, but I think the 60’s must have been a wonderful time to live,” I confessed.  “The words to that song are positively beautiful and express everything I feel about you too.  That was just sooooo romantic.” 

As I finished my answer, Aiden began to kiss me again. 

“I wanted to play it for you, so you’d know how special you are to me,” he told me, after he pulled his lips away.  “I love you more than life itself and I want to be with you always.”

“I want us to be together forever too,” I confirmed.  “Aiden, I’ll admit that I thought love would be wonderful, but being with you has surpassed even my wildest dreams and expectations.  I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to love someone more deeply than I love you.” 

“And I feel the same way,” Aiden agreed. 

He then touched my cheek with his hand, brought his lips back against mine and kissed me tenderly.  I definitely wanted this moment to last forever, but unfortunately it only lasted until we fell asleep.

Over the weekend, and the others that followed, Aiden not only helped me with psychology, but he was also doing his best to get me to learn how do defend myself.  I thought it was a hopeless cause, but Aiden insisted that I keep trying until I was able to do it.  He was very patient as he taught me the various moves, watched me practice them and corrected my mistakes.  I felt this was just a major waste of time, but he kept pushing me to continue, so I would get better at it. 

Tonight, he insisted I keep practicing the same moves over and over again for more than an hour, until I finally told him I was just too tired to continue.  He told me not to wuss out, but I said I was just too exhausted to keep going.  He must have noticed I was serious, because we quit right after that.

Since we both worked up a good sweat from doing this, we went to clean up afterward.  The toilet/shower area was almost totally empty when we arrived, as there was only one guy in there urinating at the time.  Once he left, Aiden got a little playful and slapped my bare butt, after I’d taken off my underwear.  When I turned around to protest, he stood in front of me and moved his hips seductively, so his dick swung back and forth.  He had an evil grin on his face, like he knew he would be able to get to me by doing this and I started to get hard immediately.  Since I was afraid someone else would walk in and see me this way, I jumped into the shower and turned the water on – a little colder than I normally liked.  It did the trick, so I was able to add more hot water to the mix and started washing. 

After we got done cleaning up, we went back to our room and began studying.  I would rather have spent my time holding and kissing Aiden again, but he said that would have to wait until after we were done.  Since I realized that once he makes his mind up it’s hard to change it, I did what he suggested.  I asked for his help a couple of times and then I returned the favor by looking over a paper he was doing for English Comp.  We kept working until we’d both finished what we needed to get done.

Once we’d completed everything, Aiden grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled on it until I stood up.  He then sat down on the bed and guided me onto his lap.  Very gently, he then began to kiss my neck and nibble on my ear, as one of his hands worked its way under my shirt and rubbed my tummy.  Oh, he sure knows how to get to me. 

After he had done that for a couple of minutes, he began kissing me for real.  Our mouths opened, our tongues danced and my heart soared.  I just knew this is how I wanted to spend the rest of my life, constantly doing these things with Aiden. 

When we finished making out, we rolled onto the bed and cuddled.  God, he makes me feel loved and completely safe at the same time.  I love him so much, but my biggest fear is that some day this will come to an end.  I hope it never happens, because I’m not sure if I can continue to live without Aiden in my life. 

The next day seemed to drag on, primarily because I wasn’t with Aiden.  That night he received a call on his cell phone, but it didn’t sound as if there was a problem.  In fact, he sounded happy to be speaking with the person on the other end.  When he hung up, he told me one of his old high school buddies wanted to drop by this weekend and catch up on things.  I instantly became jealous, because I thought this might be someone Aiden had an interest in before he came here and now he would leave me for him. 

“Ummm, who is this guy?” I asked to see what he had to say.

“One of my best friends throughout high school,” Aiden answered.  “I think that after we first met he was either always at my house or I was over at his place.  Our parents eventually came to consider each of us to be their sons.”

“Oh, it sounds like you were really close,” I stated, disappointed. 

“Yes, we were.  We shared everything with each other,” Aiden added. 

“Oh,” was all I could manage to get out. 

I was crestfallen and turned away from him.  I did this because I was afraid he might see the tears forming in my eyes. 

“Petey, my love,” Aiden almost whispered.  “It wasn’t romantic.  We were just great friends.  He’s as straight as I am gay, but he was always cool knowing I liked guys.  Hell, he didn’t even try to hide being naked around me after he found out, like some of my other friends did after I first told them.  You’ll like him and he’ll like you.  I just know it.”

Hearing him say this made me feel a little better, but I still couldn’t turn around and face him.  This time, I was just too embarrassed because I had doubted him.  Suddenly, I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind and he nuzzled his head against my neck. 

“Petey, I love you, so please don’t ever question that,” he whispered in my ear. 

Now, I felt even worse for not trusting him.  I fought to regain my composure, and once I did, I turned around. 

“Since when did you start calling me Petey?” I wanted to know. 

I figured this would get him to forget I had doubted him. 

“It was just that I could see you were pouting, like a small child, so it just seemed to fit,” Aiden explained.

“So now I’m a little kid?” I challenged. 

I suddenly felt a little perturbed and turned away from Aiden. 

“No, but you have to admit you were acting like one,” Aiden stated, trying to explain his position. 

I carefully considered what he’d just said and finally turned back to face him again.   

“Ok, maybe I was – a little,” I confessed.  “But I can’t even stand the thought of you being with someone else or that I might possibly lose you.”

“Don’t worry about that, sweetie, it’s not going to happen,” Aiden assured me.  “I love you totally and you’re the most important thing in my life.  I don’t want you to ever doubt that!”

“I’ll try not to,” I agreed, “and I feel the same way about you.” 

At that moment, Aiden stepped forward and pulled me into his arms and hugged me.  I could feel his love flowing through his embrace and it warmed my soul.  After a minute I spoke.

“Just one thing,” I told him.

“What’s that, love?” Aiden wondered. 

“Don’t ever call me Petey again,” I responded.  “I hate that name.  My parents used to call me that when I was younger and I couldn’t stand it then either.”

“Well, as long as you don’t act like a pouting brat again, then I won’t ever call you that,” Aiden teased, so I stuck my bottom lip out and pouted. 

“If you don’t want me to call you Petey again, then you’d better stop doing what you’re doing now,” Aiden warned. 

I tried to keep it up, but I burst out laughing instead, especially after I noticed the look he was giving me. 

“That’s better,” Aiden stated, as he hugged me. 

To be continued...

Posted: 04/06/12