Finding Love

By: B W
(© 2013 by the author)

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 4
A Dark Cloud Passes Over Our Home. 

I was spending another of my weekends at Tad’s house when his parents decided to take us to the zoo, which turned out to be a truly wonderful day.  Sure, I knew all about the various animals before we went there, but until that trip, I never fully appreciated how impressive or unique the different species were until I saw them for myself.  I couldn’t believe the enormity of the elephant or how long the giraffe’s neck was.  I didn’t realize how big the lion’s teeth were or how long and big around some of the snakes grew to be. 

This was really going to help Tad and I when we had adventures where any of these animals were involved, because we’d be able to appreciate the dangers much better.  I would now be even more impressed when I was standing beside Aslan, because I would realize how vicious he could be, if he wanted to.  It would also make a difference when we were pretending to be explorers in the jungle, because from now on I’d have to think more about the animals that might be around and not just concentrating on the natives in the area.  This would double the suspense, danger and fun, so it was really going to be great.

That night at Tad’s house, once we were alone in his bed, we were talking about how we would include the animals we saw in our upcoming adventures.  Out of nowhere, Tad suddenly asked me if he could kiss me again, but this time he wanted to do it the same way he’d seen people kiss on television and in the movies we’d watched with his parents.  He told me he had noticed the onscreen kisses were different, but we’d also heard some older kids at school talking about kissing with their mouths open and using their tongues.  So for some reason, Tad was insistent that he would try this with me. 

Tad seemed determined to give me a grown-up kiss, and not merely a baby kiss, like the ones you’d give to your mother.  Even after I’d said ‘ok,’ I still wasn’t completely sure what to expect, so I instinctively started to pucker.  When Tad saw me do this, he scolded me and told me to relax, with my mouth hanging slightly open.  I did what he’d suggested and he put his lips on mine, but then I felt his tongue enter my mouth.  I still wasn’t certain what I should do in response, so I froze and Tad pulled back.

“What’s wrong?” he wanted to know.  “Don’t you like doing this?”

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I admitted, while feeling rather stupid. 

“Why?  You watched the same programs and movies that I have, so you must have seen what they were doing too” he insisted, which made me feel even dumber. 

“I’m sure I have, but I guess I wasn’t watching it as closely as you were,” I confessed. 

“Well, I’ll explain it to you then,” he offered.  “First, we open our mouths over each other’s and sometimes suck on the other’s lower lip.  Then, when I put my tongue out, you’re supposed to do the same thing, so we can let our tongues rub against each other.  After we do that, we can suck on each other’s tongues too.  You know, kind of like sucking on a lollipop.”

“Ok, I can do that, even though it sounds kind of gross,” I relented, while being honest.  “Who sucks on whose tongue first?”

“That’s up to you.  Do you want to go first or do you want me to?” he wondered. 

“You go first, so I’ll know what to do afterward,” I stated.  “I want to see how you do it and then I’ll do it back to you.  Is that ok with you?”

“Sure,” he agreed. 

We started again, but this time after we’d finished kissing with open mouths and Tad sucked on my lower lip a little, Tad put his tongue into my mouth.  When he did that, I let mine dart out to meet it and we slid our tongues around together for a while and then he took his tongue back, but I left my tongue where it was.  Tad started to suck on it for a while and it felt kind of funny and even tickled a little, but it made my wiener suddenly get hard too.  Within a few seconds, my penis was so stiff that I think even Superman would have had a tough time trying to bend it.  It did feel good though, and after Tad stopped sucking on my tongue, he stuck his tongue back into my mouth. 

I immediately began to suck on his tongue next, the same way he had done to mine.  I was curious if our kissing was having the same effect on Tad as it had on me, so I reached over and touched his penis.  Sure enough, it was as hard as mine.  Once I discovered that, I started to play with it and rubbed it up and down through his briefs, and before long I felt Tad’s hand doing the same thing to me.  This was a lot better than the old way of kissing and we kept doing it for a whole lot longer too.  When we finally stopped to go to sleep, I think we both knew we wanted to do this again and were ready to try even more new things. 

Mom and Dad D kept us really busy throughout the summer and took us to all kinds of places.  We spent Memorial Day camping and on the Fourth of July they took us to a concert, where we saw a massive fireworks display.  We spent another weekend on a beach along the Gulf of Mexico and on another weekend trip we went to San Antonio to see the Alamo, but we also spent some time at the River Walk and visited Sea World San Antonio. 

The highlight of the summer, however, was when they took us for a weeklong trip to Disneyland.  Once I heard what they were planning, I made my so-called mother cough up some money to pay for my way, along with some spending money.  Although Dad D didn’t want to take it, I told him he had to or I wouldn’t go.  Since I’d put it that way, he accepted the money and used it to pay some of the expenses, but I made sure there was enough there to cover some of the other trips we’d made too.   I can’t tell you how much fun Tad and I had on that trip, especially in the room we shared, but it was definitely the most fun I’d had since I’d lost my dad. 

School was a little harder that fall, but it was nothing we couldn’t handle, although we did have to spend more time studying.  We still found plenty of time for our adventures and reading though and I went Trick or Treating with Tad at Halloween.  Dad D made our costumes and we went as a pair of dice, with Tad’s head poking through the middle dot on the ‘three’ side of his die and my head poking through the middle dot on the ‘five’ side of my die.  It was a lot of fun and many people commented about how clever they thought our costumes were. 

The Driscolls threw me another party for my twelfth birthday and it was really great.  On Saturday afternoon, they invited a few of the other kids from our class over for a party, but they were different kids this year, because they didn’t want the other three to think we were only inviting them to get presents.  We played all kinds of games, but had cake and ice cream too, so it was a lot of fun.  That wasn’t all they had planned though. 

After the other kids left, we helped them clean up the house quickly and then they sent Tad and me up to take a shower and get dressed in nicer clothes.  Once we were ready, they took us out to dinner at a really nice restaurant and we had a wonderful time.  The food was good and the company was fantastic, so all in all, it was a truly marvelous day.  I thanked them over and over again when we got back to the house, because they just continued to do so much for me and made me truly feel like part of the family. 

After that, I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s with them again too.  It was not only the first real family Thanksgiving celebration I’d been involved in during the past five years, but the other two holidays were great as well.  Even though I had to go to my house in between these occasions, I actually felt as if I was part of their family and I was happy and felt needed and loved again. 

A few weeks after the New Year started, I received another surprise, but this one took place at my house.  When I came back from spending the weekend with Tad, the butler called me aside to speak to me in private. 

“I know you haven’t spoken very often with your mother, Master Winthrop, so I am taking it upon myself to tell you the news,” he began.  “Your mother and Mr. Sovie have announced they are planning to go away to get married.”

“What?  You mean he’s going to be my new father?” I asked, since I wasn’t prepared for this. 

“To be precise, he’ll be your stepfather, Master Winthrop,” the butler clarified.  “You seem to be troubled by this news, Master Winthrop, so I take it you aren’t very fond of Mr. Sovie.  Is that correct?”

“Yeah, it’s correct,” I confirmed.  “He tries to be nice to me, but he gives me the creeps.  I don’t know what it is, but I just don’t trust him.  Something just isn’t right and I have a bad feeling about this.  When is it going to happen?”

“They are closing the house down for two weeks, so they can go Las Vegas, where they’re going to get married,” he explained.  “Then, they’re going to go on a honeymoon afterward, but they haven’t disclosed where that will be.”

“What about me?  What am I supposed to do?” I wondered, confused and perplexed. 

“Well, no one has mentioned anything about that to me directly, although some of the staff will be staying in their quarters on the third floor,” he offered.  “If you should end up staying here, there will be others around to assist you, although the rest of the house will be closed down for all practical purposes.  I imagine I could get one of the others to watch over you and take you out for meals, if you’d like me to arrange that.”

“You mean no one has even bothered to consider what I was going to do during this time?” I challenged.  “You mean my so-called mother didn’t even take the time to make sure I was going to be all right?”

“I’m sorry, Master Winthrop, but it must have slipped her mind,” the butler apologized, although I think he knew better. 

“Like heck it slipped her mind,” I shot back.  “She just doesn’t care anything about me and this guy must not either, but don’t worry about me though.  I’ll get Tad’s parents to let me stay with them while my worthless mother and stepfather are away.  The Driscolls are my real family anyway, so they’ll let me stay there and make sure I’m taken care of.  If anyone asks, although I doubt that will happen, please tell whoever it is that I can take care of myself.”

“But Master Winthrop, you shouldn’t talk that way about your mother,” the butler objected.  “I’m sure she was just so excited about the idea of getting married again that it just slipped her mind.”

“I slipped out of her mind long before that,” came my retort, which was dripping with sarcasm.  “She hasn’t had a thing to do with me since my father died, maybe even before that.  You don’t know what it’s been like for me to live in the same house with her and know she never even thinks about me.”

“It was probably the drink, Master Winthrop,” he offered, although lamely.  “It clouded her mind and took over her life.”

“What about now?  I was told she’s been off the booze for a while now, but she still doesn’t think about me,” I challenged.  “She doesn’t speak to me any differently than she does to you or the rest of the staff.  To her, I’m just one of the hired help.  I’m not her son and she doesn’t love me.  I hate her, I hate him and I hate living in this house.”

“Master Winthrop, you shouldn’t feel this way,” he stated, but I believe he also understood my position.  “This is your home and she is your mother.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do,” I confirmed.  “This may be my home, although I was always told a home was filled with love, and this one isn’t, but she is no longer my mother.  She may have given birth to me, but she doesn’t care anything about me.  I still hate her, no matter what you say.  When are they leaving?”

“They will be leaving a week from this Friday, Master Winthrop,” he answered.  “I believe they are getting married the following day and will be enjoying their honeymoon after that.”

“Fine,” I huffed.  “When I go to Tad’s this weekend, I’ll just take all of my clothes with me and then stay there for as long as I can.”

“But they aren’t leaving until the week after that, Master Winthrop,” the butler pointed out, although it didn’t matter to me.

“I don’t care.  I’m leaving THIS weekend and I’m not coming back until I absolutely have to,” I shot back.  “I’ll go to the Driscolls after school tomorrow and talk this over with them and hopefully they’ll agree with my plan.  Right now, I’m going up to my room and pack all of my things.  Would you please have someone bring up one of the larger suitcases for me to use?”

“Very well, Master Winthrop,” he agreed.  “I will see to it that the proper suitcase is delivered to your room.  Will you be needing anything else?”

“No, that will be all,” I confirmed.  “Thank you for your help and the information, because otherwise I probably wouldn’t have known about any of this until after it happened.”

I then went to my room and started to get my things together, but my mind was racing a mile a minute.  How could she plan to leave and not inform me about her plans or even worry what I was going to do?  I was only twelve years old, for God’s sake, not twenty.  How could she forget about her only child?  How could I mean so little to her that she could go away without knowing where I’d be or who would be taking care of me?  Damn, I hated her more and more every minute.  As I began to select the clothes and other things I would be taking with me, it was difficult to see through my tears.  I kept wiping the moisture from my eyes, but I was determined not to let it stop me from finishing my task.  I wanted to be ready to leave here as soon as I got the Driscolls to agree to my request.

The next day after school, I went home with Tad and told his parents my story.  Without hesitation they said I was welcome to stay with them for as long as I wanted or needed, just as I knew they would.  I could see they were as shocked by my mother’s actions as I was, even though they tried to hide it.  They were very understanding and sympathetic, but they were also very comforting.  Within minutes they had me feeling better about myself again, by letting me know how much they loved me.  They also made certain I knew that I would always have a home with them, if ever I needed one.  I can’t begin to explain how good it made me feel, just to know they really cared about me.

That Friday, I went home with Tad and then his mother drove us over to my house to pick up my suitcase.  I went into the house and the butler followed me up to my room, so he could carry my suitcase downstairs and put it into Mom D’s car.  I thanked him again for all of his help and then started to shake his hand, but I felt it wasn’t enough.  For that reason, I threw caution to the wind and hugged him instead.  I think this surprised him, but I could tell it meant a great deal to him as well. 

“Master Winthrop, I want you let me know if you need anything,” he offered.  “I’ll be stopping by the house from time to time while your mother is gone, so I can keep an eye on things, and I’ll pick up any messages at that time.  You take care and I hope to see you again when I return.”

“I’m sure you will and thank you,” I replied.  “It’s nice to know at least you care.”

We left my house and drove back to the Driscolls’ place, but neither Tad nor his mother gave me time to feel badly or get down about the reason for this visit.  Instead, they had the entire weekend planned out for us, from the minute we arrived and every second thereafter.  As soon as we got there, Mom D had us go upstairs and change, but she told us to put our swimsuits on under our shorts.  I had originally wondered why she had suggested I make sure I brought it with me when I came that weekend, but now I knew.  That afternoon she took us to ‘Play Land,’ which was one of those areas that had all sorts of things for kids our age to do.  Before Tad and I stripped down to our swim trunks, we rode on the go-carts first and then tried scaling a rock-climbing wall, which we had to be put into a harness first, for safety reasons. 

After that we played a bunch of the arcade type games, but these had much larger screens and better graphics than most, so it was a whole lot of fun.  Once we stripped down to our swim trunks, Tad and I went down the waterslide, rode down rapids on tubes and even tried our hand at surfing, although we didn’t do very well at that.  We must have stayed there for more than three hours and had an absolute blast.  Once we finished up there, we went back to their house, to meet up with Dad D when he got home from work.  Before he got home, Mom D had Tad and I go upstairs to dry off, removed our swimsuits and get dressed again.  As soon as Dad D got there, we went out to eat. 

It was another nice meal, although this was more of a family type restaurant, compared to the one they took me to for my birthday, but we still had a nice meal and enjoyed ourselves.  On the way home in the car, Tad and I thanked his parents for the great day, but they told us it wasn’t over yet.  When we got their house, we discovered our next surprise.  They had a bunch of videos they bought for us to watch, but we would get to choose when we wanted to see them and in what order, since it didn’t have to be done in one weekend. 

Among the videos we had to select from, was the animated version of ‘The Hobbit,’ the entire ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy series, ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,’ ‘Prince Caspian,’ Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,’ ‘Greystoke: the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes,’ the musical ‘Camelot,’ ‘Robinson Crusoe,’ ‘The Swiss Family Robinson,’ and the old Disney version of ‘Treasure Island.’  Although I couldn’t believe he had bought so many different DVDs, they had even purchased the box set of the ‘Jurasic Park’ films, the ‘Indiana Jones’ box set, as well as the complete ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ series. 

By doing this, Mom and Dad D had provided Tad and I with a smorgasbord of all the adventure classics we loved to play and I figured it might take us an entire year just to watch all of these movies.  When we watched each one, Tad and I were going to see if we could come up with even more ideas that we might want to try, but hadn’t thought of yet.  They also informed us that they’d purchased all of these DVDs so Tad and I could watch them over and over again, whenever we wanted, so we both went over to hug and thank them for their thoughtfulness. 

Once we were ready, Tad and I decided to watch ‘The Hobbit’ first and his parents sat down with us, so we all watched it together while sitting on the family room sofa.  Tad and I sat between them and they both placed their arms on the back of the sofa behind us, so not only did we enjoy the movie, but it felt really super too.  When it was over, we went to bed, but I was still so excited that I just lay on the bed, while thinking about what a wonderful evening it had been.  I really loved being here with them.

Saturday morning we got up, ate breakfast and then dressed in some older clothes, because Tad’s mother informed us she was taking us to the park.  Once we got there, Tad and I ran around and played on the various apparatus, while acting out another one of our adventures.  This time we chose to imagine we were exploring in the Amazon jungle, to take advantage of all of the equipment there to help us.  We were climbing mountains when we scaled the jungle gym, plummeted over waterfalls when we went down the slide and were exploring caves when we crawled through the large concrete pipes. 

We also pretended to fight ferocious beasts while bouncing up and down on the teeter-totter and were climbing up the branches of a huge tree when we swung on the monkey bars.  Then, we crossed over crocodile and piranha infested rivers by swinging on vines, when we stood on the swings and swung back and forth a few times before jumping off, in order to get to the other side of the river.  We also walked through marshes while looking out for dangerous snakes when we tromped through the wading pool.  Finally, we explored an old jungle temple when we entered the recreation building, but we also studied different groups of natives, as we watched the other people move about the park.  It was really cool. 

Tad’s mother watched us the entire time while she was getting some sun, lying on a chaise lounge she had brought with her and placed on the far side of the wading pool, so she could see us almost anywhere we went.  She seemed to be totally amused and fascinated as she viewed us taking part in our adventure and told us she had probably enjoyed watching us as much as we’d had playing the scenario out in our imaginations. 

When we got back to their place, Tad and I went in to watch the DVD of ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,’ while Mrs. Driscoll went out to start working on dinner.  She came in and watched some of the movie with us, and after Tad’s father got home from having to work on Saturday, we had a big dinner together.  Afterward, Mom and Dad D took us out to the theater where we watched a newly released movie, as opposed to the ones they had purchased for us.  It was a new Disney film, so once again we went to bed that evening very satisfied with our day.  Tad and I were both quite tired that night, so we went right to sleep without fooling around first.

Sunday morning we ate breakfast together and then went to church.  When the church service ended, they took us out to eat a quick lunch next, before taking us see the local children’s theater matinee production of the musical ‘Oliver.’  I hadn’t seen this before and found it very interesting and quite well done.  It was a story about a boy whose mother had died, leaving him all alone, so he was forced to live in an orphanage.  Oliver was even treated worse than I was at home, because at least I always had something to eat and the staff was nice to me. 

When Oliver Twist sang the song ‘Where Is Love?’ I could really relate to what he was feeling, because I’d often felt the same way.  I thought about my mother as he sang the song and wondered why I couldn’t get her to love me the same way other mothers love their children.  What did I do to make her hate me so much?  I felt really good for Oliver at the end of the story, when he got to go live with his grandfather who loved him and had been searching for him.  In the end, it left me hoping that maybe someday I’d get to live with someone who loved me the same way.

After the matinee we went home, but during the ride there I began to wonder if they had picked this particular performance specifically for my benefit or if the similarities between Oliver and me had been merely a coincidence.  Whichever it was, it gave me a fresh perspective and maybe even a little hope that possibly someday my situation, like Oliver’s, would improve.

Once we got back, Tad and I changed our clothes and then played outside for a while, before we were called in for dinner.  After dinner we watched some television together, all of us, and then we went to bed early, because Tad and I had school the next day.  I thanked Mom and Dad D before I went up to Tad’s room and told them I appreciated all they had done to make me forget about my problems.  They smiled and told me it was their pleasure, before they both kissed me good night, Mom D on the lips and Dad D on the forehead.  I slept very well after that.

The school week went by quickly, but I was beginning to feel sad as the following weekend approached.  I think Mom D must have sensed it, because she tried her best to distract me, but this time it just wasn’t working.

“Win, dear, why don’t you tell me what’s troubling you?” she prodded, when she couldn’t distract me, although I think she already knew what was on my mind.  I looked her straight in the eye when I answered. 

“It’s my mom’s wedding,” I replied.  “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me about it and didn’t want me there with her.”

“I know, honey,” she answered sympathetically, while giving me a hug.  ”I don’t understand why she did that either, but you can’t let it bother you.  Just concentrate on being a boy and having fun.  Everything else will work itself out eventually.  In the meantime, you have us and we’ll make sure you’re well taken care of.”

“I know you will and I appreciate that, Mom,” I responded.  “I really love you, Dad D and Tad too, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.  I just can’t figure out why my mom doesn’t love me the same way.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that right now, because you have us and we’ll continue to be here for you as long as you need us,” she assured me.  “Now, why don’t you and Tad run along and play one of your games?” 

She then turned me around, so I was facing in the opposite direction, and then swatted me playfully on the butt, as she urged me to get going. 

“Tad,” she announced, getting his attention too, “I want you boys to go outside, have some fun and keep out of trouble.”

We took her advice and had a good time, but it also helped to make the weekend pass by quicker.  Not only the weekend flew by, but the next two weeks did as well.  Before I knew it, my mother and her new husband were expected to return home, so the butler called the Driscolls’ house to tell me they would be returning Tuesday evening.  The staff was going to open the house up that weekend to make sure everything was clean and in order before they arrived. 

Once he gave me that information, he explained the construction crews had left quite a mess, so there was a lot to do before they got back.  When I asked what the construction crews had been doing and why they’d been necessary, he told me a few more things that I hadn’t known before.  It seemed as if Mr. Sovie had ordered a new fire protection system to be installed in the house and a new security system put in as well.  I couldn’t believe it.  He must have arranged for this to happen even before they were married, which meant he had already been taking over before anything was legal.

I informed Mom D about what I had been told and she explained I would probably be better off learning to accept it, since he was now presumably the head of the household.  She also told me I should probably be at the house when they arrived home, so I could congratulate them on their marriage.  When I balked at the idea, she said that if I hoped to mend fences with my mother and not have future problems with my stepfather, then I should be there when they returned.  I knew she was probably right, so I gave in and she took me home Sunday evening, so I could get things unpacked and check out the new changes before they arrived home.  She knew the staff would be there to meet my needs and look after me for the next couple of days, as they had always done, so she didn’t have a problem doing this.

When I arrived, the first thing I noticed was the new security pad by the front entrance.  There was an identical pad next to each of the other doors leading outside as well, but I didn’t understand why we needed them.  The staff was in the house all day long, with the exception of the past couple of weeks while all of this stuff was being put in, so there was always someone here, even though different people worked different shifts. 

The next thing I noticed were the new smoke detectors, which were now located in every room.  I was told all of the controls for both systems were kept in the new entertainment center that had been placed in my father’s old office and would be kept under lock and key.  That’s when I was also informed the office was now to be used solely by Mr. Sovie, so no one else was allowed to go in there, but he had also taken over complete control of the daily operations of the household.  In my opinion, I think he wasted a whole lot of my mother’s money putting this stuff in, but hey I’m just a kid, so what did I know?

When they arrived home, I was waiting at the front entrance with the entire staff.  My mother and Mr. Sovie came in and said hello to everyone, but they both also tousled my hair.  There were no hugs, no kisses and no ‘we missed you dear.’  I was just another member of the household staff, although I was younger and smaller than the rest, but I didn’t mean any more to my mother and stepfather than any of the others did. 

I’m so glad I came back to greet them.  NOT!  I happened to run into Bart Sovie on a few occasions after that and he made sure to let me know where I stood.  He advised me that children were to be seen and not heard, so that’s what he expected from me.  He also told me I could basically do whatever I wanted, as long as I didn’t get in his way or mess anything up.  What a loving stepfather I had.  Yeah, sure I did.  My life is so much better now.   NOT! 

To be continued...

Posted: 09/13/13