From Love’s Ashes
By:
BJ Williams
(© 2014 by the author)
Edited by: Gerry Young
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's
consent. Comments are appreciated at...
Kyle looked at the mail that his secretary had set on his desk. There were the usual bills, electric company, gas company and of course the bank's notice that his mortgage was overdue by a month. He lay his head on his desk and groaned. He was broke, dead broke and at his rope's end as to where he would find the money that he needed to pay those bills. His business was hit hard by the recession and was about to go under and that, along with his unpaid bills, proved to him that he was an utter failure.
He raised his head and saw a large envelope, the kind that invitations come in, at the bottom of the pile. He grabbed it and looked at the postmark; it was from his hometown. He quickly opened it and found that it was indeed an invitation, but to his tenth anniversary reunion for his high school, and he gasped when he read just where the reunion would be — on a cruise ship that would be sailing to the Bahamas.
“Well, I can forget about going to this,” he grumbled as he tossed it aside with the bills on his desk.
“Why so glum, sugar,” Kyle’s secretary asked, placing a hand to his shoulders.
“I’m finished, Becky, totally finished financially. I’m going to call Derek Houser and have him begin proceedings for bankruptcy,” he told her.
“Is it that bad, honey,” she asked and he pushed the pile of bills across the desk to her.
She picked them up and looked at them one by one. They were all demanding payment or else they would take proper steps against him.
“Things will turn around; I know they will,” she cheerfully said and Kyle only groaned louder. “Why looky here, it’s an invitation to your high school reunion,” she said picking up the invitation.
“Look at it Becky, it’s on a cruise ship and that means money, which I do not have,” he pointed out.
She was about to put the invitation back into the envelope when she noticed that there was more in it. She pulled it out and gasped when she saw what she was holding.
“Did you even bother to look beyond the invitation to this that accompanied the invitation?” she asked and Kyle lifted his head.
‘What is it?” he asked.
“Well first, there is a round trip airline ticket for you to Miami as well as your boarding pass for the cruise ship…first class at that for both.”
“What?” he grabbed the tickets from her and began reading them.
They had his name printed on both of the tickets, Mr. Kyle A. Hibbard, and he, too, gasped.
“There must be some mistake, I never bought these tickets,” he said looking up at Becky.
“Well someone did, and whoever it is, they surely want you to be on board that ship when it sails for the Bahamas,” she told him with a smile.
He knew who that someone was, Shane Mathews, his ex-lover. Only he would have that kind of money as well as the audacity to do such a thing. His mind instantly recalled the last time that he had been with Shane — it was ten years ago.
They had made plans to meet up for dinner, because it was Kyle’s eighteenth birthday and Shane wanted to make it special for him…
* * *
They had finished dinner at Alberto’s and when the waiter had brought a birthday cake to their table and the staff had sung happy birthday to Kyle, Shane stood up and moved around to Kyle’s side of the table.
“Kyle A. Hibbard, would you do me the honor of being my husband,” Shane was down on one knee and holding up a black onyx ring with their initials and a diamond on it.
Kyle had been so embarrassed and turned a beet red when he saw the eyes of the other diners looking over at him and Shane.
“Well?” he asked Kyle, turning his concentration back to Shane.
“Yes…oh God, yes, Shane,” he stammered out, and Shane slid a ring onto his finger.
Shane got up and pulled Kyle to his feet and once he had Kyle’s body crushed to his, he kissed him as the people around them applauded. It had been a perfect evening and ended perfectly with Shane whispering promises of making love to him as he drove.
Then, Kyle remembered how that night began once home. His arms were around Shane’s neck, and Shane threaded his fingers in the golden strands of Kyle’s hair that waved down to his shoulders, entangling them both. Kyle was flush against Shane’s chest, Kyle’s hardened nipples against the dark hair on his chest. Shane groaned aloud, kissing him, tasting him, feeling the fullness of Seth’s lithe muscular form against his, feeling the desperate rise of heat and hardness within himself.
Shane’s lips broke from Kyle’s suddenly, his fingers trailing over his shoulders as his mouth touched the furiously pounding pulse at Kyle’s throat. Shane lowered himself against Kyle, lips, teeth and tongue playing over his chest, fingers rubbing his muscled flesh, his nipples, the lines of his ribs, and the rippled hills and valleys of his abdomen. Shane followed the curve of Kyle’s body still lower; then his fingers were beneath the elastic band of his briefs, sliding them down over his hips and letting them fall to the floor. Kyle stepped instantly from them, kicking them aside.
Shane dropped suddenly to his knees before him, and Kyle gasped with the shattering sensation that filled him like lightning when Shane took his sex in his hand, stroking and touching him. Kyle tossed his head back and closed his eyes when he felt the wet warmth of Shane’s mouth around his throbbing manhood as it slowly disappeared into Shane’s mouth.
The world exploded, or perhaps it was only himself that did. He latched onto Shane’s shoulders as his climax erupted and spewed violently into Shane’s waiting mouth. Shane sucked and sucked until Kyle was about to collapse.
Kyle bent down, sweeping Shane up, his lips covering Shane’s as he kissed him. He felt himself being lifted by Shane and carried to their bed, his lips still locked with Kyle’s. Shane set him down on the bed, straddling him, then lying at his side, the pulse that had guided him before now beating a thousand times harder, pounding within his head, his heart, his loins…
Shane’s mouth found Kyle’s again, left it and touched down upon a vein at his throat. Shane’s eyes met his again, they seemed so liquid…so blue, so beautiful, and yet, so mesmerizing.
“I … I…” he stuttered out against Shane’s lips
“Yes?” he demanded huskily.
Kyle’s eyes closed against him. “…love and want you,” he added very softly, desperation in his voice.
“Well, you got me,” he assured Kyle huskily as well.
Indeed, but it was Shane who had Kyle, body, heart and soul, he had him.
Shane stared over the length of Kyle, the masculine, muscular, so damned perfect length of him. His hands covered his chest, encircling each breast. Shane’s head lowered, and he tasted the tips which were rock hard with his tongue, cherishing their hardness with fiery liquid caresses. Kyle’s fingers dug into Shane’s hair, danced slowly over his back, and then dug again as Shane groaned softly, and shifted beneath Shane.
Shane spread his hand over Kyle’s abdomen, seeing the bronzed perfection of his muscles against the pale flesh that he normally covered with his Speedo. He pressed his lips there, circled his tongue around his navel, and then inched downward against him, watching his fingers as they entered the golden forest that surrounded his manhood. Shane felt Kyle move and shift and writhe beneath him as he perpetuated his torture on his sex.
Shane shifted his weight up, parting Kyle’s thighs fluidly, his knees between them. Then he lowered his head once again, stroking and touching and laving with a searing wet, intimate desire.
Kyle gasped, shuddered, cried out, Shane rose above him, taking Kyle into his arms, sinking deeply within Kyle when Kyle’s legs lifted and surrounded Shane’s waist.
“Shane,” Kyle whispered, he tossed back his head and arched his back as Shane’s thickness fully entered him.
Minutes later, hours, a moment only…Kyle didn’t know which, the whole world seemed to explode again. He trembled in wicked ecstasy within Shane’s arms as Shane’s own desire exploded forth within the deep cavern of his body, flooding it with soothing, warm seed.
Kyle shook, trembled in Shane’s arms as their afterglow took them to the heavens and then slowly they fell back to earth. Then the trembling became shivers as the cool air from the air conditioner settled over his body that had burned and now grew chill. Shane held him close, tenderly, and neither of them speaking, but listened to the pounding of their hearts as they willed their bodies to return to normalcy.
Later that evening, Kyle had excitedly told his father about their plans to get married. Although his father seemed happy for him, inside he was seething with anger, because Shane was not good enough for his son.
* * *
Then, Kyle’s mind took him to the next day, the day that would see his world destroyed forever. He had come home early, it was eerily quiet when he walked in, hoping that he could take a quick shower and then surprise Shane with his favorite meal, lasagna, he hurried to his bedroom.
He began undressing as he walked down the hall to their bedroom, which had a master bath attached. When he entered the room, he noticed how clothes were strewn about as if whoever had shed them had been in a hurry. He sighed as he began picking them up and gathering them in his arms as he moved about the room. Holding them close to him, it was then that he noticed a scent that was neither his nor Shane’s. It smelled of different, it had another’s masculine cologne, one that neither of them wore or owned. He’d remember that scent, it smelled expensive and as he tried to remember where he had smelled the cologne, he heard running water…a shower was running. Someone was in their shower, he grew apprehensive as he slowly moved toward the bathroom’s door and seeing it ajar, he quietly eased it open.
Through the clear glass doors, he saw two bodies entangled together as they kissed. Instant fury rose in Kyle and he pulled the doors open and gasped when he saw Damian Bradford, his and Shane’s best friend in the arms of the man that Kyle loved, Shane.
“You fucking bastard, Shane…how could you,” Kyle lunged against the couple, toppling them all to the floor of the shower.
“Kyle!” Shane gasped as did Damian, as Kyle pounded with his fists, first at Shane and then Damian, returning his anger and hurtful betrayal to Shane. “It’s not what it looks like,” Shane tried to explain, but Kyle would not listen.
He stood, stepped from the shower and ran into the bedroom. He was quickly dressing when Shane entered shortly after him, wrapped in a towel.
“Kyle, please listen to me,” but Kyle reeled around and slugged Shane square in the jaw.
“You fucking bastard, I loved you and this is how you treat my love?” he screamed at Shane and slugged him again, this time catching him in the stomach.
“Would you please stop hitting me and let me explain,” Shane said from the floor as he looked up at Kyle.
“I’m leaving and when I get back, I expect you to be gone. If you aren’t, I’ll shoot you as an intruder,” he yelled looking down with venom in his eyes at Shane.
He turned and quickly left the room, the house, and once inside his car, he rested his head on the steering wheel and cried. He returned hours later to find that Shane had left, he had taken all that was his and the house looked as if Shane had never lived there.
“I know that this is hard for you right now, but with time, you’ll forget him and move on, son,” he father had said as he tried to console him. “He was never good enough for you, Kyle, he never deserved you. You’ll see; you’ll quickly forget he was ever in your life,” he said finishing.
“Never, I refuse to forget him, Dad,” he yelled. “I want to remember this night for as long as I live.
* * *
“I’m not going, Becky,” he adamantly said, returning his thoughts to the present and tossing the tickets as well as the invitation into the trash.
“Why not? Is it because of him?” she asked, remembering how she had helped Kyle get back to normalcy after he and Shane had broken up.
“Yes,” he calmly said as he began grabbing bills and other papers that his lawyer would need to file bankruptcy. “Why should I go, so he can rub it into my face how rich and famous he’s become?” he asked looking over at her and sighing. “I doubt my heart could stand looking at him again.”
“Did you ever think that maybe he could be the answer to your monetary problems, Kyle?” she suggested with a wry smile on her face. “After all, he does owe you for what he did to you ten years ago and he is filthy fucking rich,” she suggested to Kyle.
Her words were like a soothing salve as they sank into his mind. “Yes, Shane does owe me,” Kyle bitterly said.
“Exactly, so why not let him give you the money you need to hold you over until these financial times get better,” she said as he leaned back in his chair.
“Exactly, let him give me the money; after all, he’s got more than any one man could spend in a lifetime,” he said, pulling the tickets from the trash and reading them. “It says here that I am to board the cruise ship, Atlantis, this coming Saturday and the plane tickets are for Friday morning at eleven.”
“That’s not even two days away,” Becky said after she took the tickets from Kyle and read the dates.
“I don’t have anything proper, much less fitting for a cruise to wear.”
“You have time to go shopping for a few things and you can always rent a tux for the cruise.”
“And just how do you expect me to pay for all that, with my looks or buttons?”
“I have some money set aside, you can pay me back when you get the money from Shane,” she suggested.
“I can’t take your money, Becky, what if he decides not to give me what I need?” he asked.
“Nonsense, he’s still very much in love with you. Why else would he have paid for a cruise and airline tickets, if not that he wanted you again?”
“Do you think I can pull it off… you know, make him think that I still care for him?”
“If anyone can, you can, after all, you were a superb actor in college.”
“I was, wasn’t I?” he stated with an evil grin on his face. “And Karma is so good served up cold.”
Kyle thought about her words; they made sense, but did he want to run the gambit of breaking his heart again? It was true, Shane did owe him for hurting him, but he also had to admit to himself, that he never did fall out of love with Shane. But he also never forgot the pain, the betrayal, and the humiliation he had felt when he had found Damian in the arms of Shane.
Granted, Damian had explained how he had met Shane at the pub that they all frequented and found him depressed. Because Shane had had too much to drink, Damian had taken him home instead of letting him drive. Once home, Shane had told him after staring at him for quite some time…you’ll do, and then before Damian knew what was happening, he was naked and in the shower kissing Shane. He had forgiven Damian, but their friendship had never been the same. They were cordial to one another when they met, but the trust that friends had, was gone.
“Alright, I’ll borrow the money but I will insist that I pay you back with interest,” Kyle told her and reluctantly after arguing that he didn’t need to, she agreed.
She was quiet for a while, as if she wanted to say something, but knew that she shouldn’t. Kyle knew Becky as well, if not better, than she knew herself. He knew that whenever she grew quiet and fidgety in a chair, there was something on her mind.
“Alright Becky, what is it that you feel you should say, because I know you, and the way you are acting…”
“I can’t Kyle; I promised him that I would never divulge what he told me.”
“What who divulged?” he asked.
“Shane, I saw him two days after you split and he was crying in his beer at the Salty Dog pub.”
“So, what could he have said that was so secretive?”
“I might as well tell you; it's been ten years, so what harm could it do,” she said and Kyle nodded as he looked at her. “He told me that your father came to him the morning after you and he were engaged and threatened him with bodily harm, even death, if he didn’t leave you. Your father said that he needed to find a way to break it off and do it in a way that you would never forgive him and take him back.”
“Lies, my father would never do that to me, much less threaten Shane. He practically raised him even though he was two years older than I was; my father taught Shane all about diving and treasure hunting. No, whatever he told you were lies to cover up the guilt of what he did to me.”
“It’s too bad your father is dead, because he could either confirm or deny what Shane told me.”
Becky got along with Kyle’s father, but she never liked how the man controlled and manipulated Kyle. There had even been a time when she felt that the man wanted his son in a way that was not natural. She had seen how his eyes would drink in Kyle’s body whenever he wore his Speedo for swimming, and she even noticed once how he had been aroused; having seen his pants tenting at a swim meet that Kyle had competed in.
“That doesn’t matter, Becky; my father loved me more than life. Besides, why would Shane tell you and not come to me with that ridiculous story?”
“Maybe it was because you refused to see or listen to him or to anything he had to say, is why.”
Kyle, again, let her words sink in and mulled them around in his mind. It was true, his father did not seem too upset over what Shane had done, but seemed rather pleased.
“No, my father would never hurt me like that,” Kyle insisted.
Kyle knew that his father loved him, and not just as a father should love his son. He remembered how one night he had come home late and found his dad masturbating while holding a picture of Kyle in his Speedo. He had heard his words of lust as his hand worked feverishly on his cock. He felt disgusted by what he saw and heard. But when he heard his father yell, ‘oh fuck son, suck that cock I’m cumming’, he became repulsed, quickly left the house, and didn’t come back until the next day.
“I refuse to believe that Dad would be so cruel as to do such a thing to me.”
“Whatever sweetie, you believe what you want; but I still say that you're letting your anger and pain blind you from the truth.”
* * *
Kyle nervously sat at the terminal and waited for the announcement to board his flight. He knew that it would take every ounce of his strength and courage once he came face to face with Shane, not to become enraged again and strike out at him. The future, his future, depended on him to ask for the money he needed to prevent bankruptcy.
“All first class and special need passengers may now board American Airlines flight 734 for Miami,” a voice announced over the loud speaker, and Kyle rose and got in line to board his flight. The flight was far from filled; in fact, he sat alone during his direct flight to Miami.
“May I get you a drink, sir,” a lovely stewardess asked.
“A gin and tonic, please, would be great,” he said, wondering if there was enough gin to deaden the pain that had been gripping his heart.
Many, many drinks later, the plane landed and Kyle almost staggered from the plane. He hadn’t been expecting anyone to meet him, but when he saw a handsome man holding a sign with his name on it, he smiled and staggered over to him.
“I’m Kyle Hibbard,” he slurred.
“I’ve been instructed to pick you up and take you to your hotel. I’ll accompany you to baggage claim and retrieve your luggage, sir.”
“Sir, hell cutie, you can’t be all that much younger than I am,” Kyle said. “You can call me Kyle.”
“Yes sir, Kyle; now, if you’ll be so kind as to follow me,” he instructed.
“What is your name, if I am going to go off with a hunk of a man like you, I’d at least like to know his name.”
“James, my name is James and I’m twenty-two years old.”
“Well James, lead on,” Kyle said and intertwined his arm with James.
Once in the car, James handed Kyle an envelope. Inside was a hotel key and he looked over at James, puzzled. “Who gave you this,” he asked.
“My boss did when he instructed me to come and get you. I will say though, his description was not even close to how you really look,” he flirtatiously said with a perfect smile.
“Does your boss have a name,” he inquired, choosing to ignore the flirtatious remark.
“Of course; we all have names,” he said with a wink. “It’s Shane Mathews,” he added.
“In that case, thank you but no thank you. I believe that I will take a cab,” he told the young man and got out of the limo, slamming the door behind him.
James hurried out of the limo and off behind him, running to catch up with him. “Please don’t do this, Kyle; my job depends on my bringing you to the hotel,” James told him.
“I find it hard to believe that Shane would fire you just because I refused to accompany you,” Kyle told him.
“Then you don’t know him as well as he claims you do. Because he’s fired others for less,” James confided.
“Fine, take me to the damn hotel, James. By the way, is he there waiting for me?”
“That, Kyle, I do not know. All I was instructed to do, was meet you and take you to the Hilton.
Kyle opened the envelope and found a hotel key card in it for the Hilton Bentley Hotel and Resort on Ocean Drive. When he looked up again, they were driving away from the terminal.
This was his first time in Miami; in fact, it was his first time outside of his hometown. He marveled at all the palm trees, how tanned all the people seemed to be that walked on the streets. He gasped when he saw the grandeur of the hotel as the driver turned into a long curving driveway and stopped before a large expanse of intricately carved wooden doors. He exited the limousine. A bellhop met him and took the luggage while Kyle checked in at the desk.
“You’re all set Mr. Hibbard; your room is ready and waiting,” a pretty desk clerk said with a warm smile gracing her face.
Kyle followed the bellhop to his room and gasped as he gazed around the large room, it had two leather sofas facing each other and a cozy dining area to the right of a set of French doors which lead out to a private patio that overlooked the ocean.
“I’ve taken the liberty of placing your clothes in the closet, sir,” his bellhop said and gave a slight bow as he moved to the door.
“Thank you,” Kyle said handing him a ten.
“Thank you, but Mr. Mathews already took care of me, sir,” he said and quietly closed the door behind him after he left.
“Oh, I just bet that he did,” Kyle whispered, remembering how handsome the young man was and Shane’s lust for sex.
* * *
Kyle ate a quiet meal in his room, showered and then went to bed around ten. He woke the next morning to the phone ringing at eight, telling him that a car would be arriving by ten to take him to his ship.
Once he arrived at the ship, he found, as he had at the hotel, that everything had been previously arranged and was led to a spacious state room on the very top level of the ship, which was usually reserved for the very wealthy.
He had just finished a shower when a knock on his door caused him to grab the silk robe that hung on the door and rush out to see who was knocking.
“For you, sir,” a handsome steward said as he handed Shane a large manila envelope and then left.
'Shane,' he thought as he looked at the handwriting on the front. He remembered how lavishly he made his letters whenever he wrote Kyle’s name. He was about to open the envelope but another knock on the door caused him to set the envelope down and hurry to answer it, thinking the steward had maybe forgotten to tell him something. He pulled the door open, expecting to see the handsome steward and he gasped when he saw…
Shane.
He cursed himself that all he was wearing was a thin silk robe, because Shane looked better now then he did ten years ago, Kyle thought…he should have been wearing armor, thick, ironclad armor. Shane looked good, beyond good, he looked delicious. He had traded in that beach boy look of his youth for one of a sophisticated gentleman; his hair was short, styled and not just cut. His body was hard, lithe and muscular, but what caught Kyle’s breath were those eyes. Shane’s eyes that seemed to pierce Kyle’s very soul, amber eyes that danced with gold flecks in them whenever they picked up the light…any light.
“Well, are you just going to just stand there, Kyle, or are you going to invite me in?” Shane asked.
“Why, so you can amuse yourself at my circumstances, Shane?”
“I thought that with time you’d soften, maybe even forgiven me, Kyle. But by the look on your face and the tone of your voice, I can see that it isn’t so.”
“If it’s a 'thank you' that you want for the tickets and this cruise… thank you, but you shouldn’t have. But I want you to know, even if it takes me a hundred years to do it, I will pay you back and with interest.”
“I didn’t come for a thank you or to inquire about you paying me back…please, may I at least come in?” he asked.
“Fine,” he snapped and stood aside for Shane to enter.
As he walked by Kyle, Kyle’s senses instantly alerted to the subtle scent of the man, masculine and earthy, a scent that his mind would never forget, just as his heart had never forgotten. If Kyle were to be honest with himself, there was much that he had never allowed himself to forget about Shane.
How he felt in Shane’s arms, so strong as they held him to his powerful body. He also remembered how his senses, his mind, would soar to the heavens whenever he and Shane made love together.
“How have you been, Kyle?” Shane stood powerfully tall, his body emitting sexual desire as if it were as natural as perspiring.
“Why don’t you tell me? It seems that you know more about me than I do you,” he lied.
Over the years, he had kept track of Shane, his career in the modeling industry as well as his financial worth when he’d been listed among Fortune Five-Hundred’s most eligible millionaires.
“But I’m asking you, Kyle… how have you been?” Shane asked with a sigh.
“How do you expect me to be, after what you did to me?” he spit out and turned away from him.
Kyle stiffened when he felt Shane’s hands fall upon his shoulders. Why was his body betraying him, he wondered as a heat as hot as a furnace raced through his veins, igniting a passion that he long thought cold.
Shane turned him slowly to face him, Kyle refused to meet his eyes, but when Shane placed a finger to his chin and urged his head upward, he had no choice. He gazed into eyes of amber, eyes that once had drunk in his own masculine beauty; he melted.
“If I could live to be a thousand, there would never be enough time, or the proper words to express how truly sorry I am for having hurt you.” Without giving Kyle a chance, he lowered his mouth to his and kissed him with passion, with fire and most of all, with the love that his heart still held for him.
At first Kyle remained stiff, cold and elusive, but soon the fire that Shane emitted warmed him and his arms moved slowly up and surrounded Shane’s neck. Their kiss deepened as Shane pulled Kyle ever tighter to his body. Again, Kyle cursed his body as well as his senses for betraying him, as he leaned into the kiss and kissed Shane back.
“Why are you here, Shane,” the ice was back in his words.
“Maybe I wanted to see you without having an agenda or reason.”
Kyle gave him a raised brow, as if asking what his real reason for being here was.
“Kyle, I’m not going to make this easy on either of us and drag you to that bed. I’m not saying that the idea doesn’t appeal to me a great deal. But if we make love, you’re going to wake up in the morning knowing the choice was yours, not mine.”
“You’re pretty confident that I want you still, well don’t…” again, Shane’s mouth stormed Kyle’s in a heated kiss.
As before, Kyle’s resistance faded within seconds of their mouths joining, Shane’s tongue taking dominion over his as he sought out all the once familiar places. Then Kyle remembered the reason he had agreed to come on this cruise, he wanted Shane’s money.
“I guess the bed wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” Kyle said thickly, his edge less cold.
“Just say it, Kyle, say yes;I want you as much as you want me,” Shane demanded.
Saying what Shane wanted to hear wasn’t enough, he thought. When something was as important as sleeping with him, after ten years of pain, it took more than a few simple words and sex to erase the pain.
“Let me go…please,” Kyle asked and Shane held him another long moment, searching Kyle’s face.
Slowly his arms relaxed and dropped away from Kyle. Before Shane could back up, Kyle moved into him, wrapping his arms around Shane’s neck. “I want you Shane; I want to sleep with you tonight.”
Kyle brought his lips to Shane’s. There had already been enough words; warm and willing, Kyle sank into him.
For a moment, Shane couldn’t breathe. The onslaught of his senses was too overwhelming. Kyle’s taste, his scent, the very texture of the silk robe against his naked body beneath it, drove Shane insane with desire. There was Kyle’s sigh as he rubbed his lips over his. He wanted to savor, to drown, to lose himself, inch by glorious inch, but even as he slipped the robe from Kyle’s shoulders, Kyle was pulling Shane to the bed.
‘He wants sex, fine then, I will give him sex and then ask him for his money,’ Kyle thought as he walked backward toward the bed.
Kyle was like a whirlwind, hands racing, pressing, tugging, followed by the mad, erotic journey of his mouth. The pressure was building too fast, but when he reached for Kyle, Kyle shimmied out of the silk robe and rushed on.
Kyle did not want Shane to regret sending for him, Kyle couldn’t have borne it, he needed his money too much. If he was to throw every shred of pain, hurt and betrayal to the winds for this one night, he needed to know that it would matter — that Shane would remember and agree to whatever he wanted, thinking that he had won forgiveness as well as him back.
Shane was naked, having been hastily undressed and shoved down onto the bed. His skin was hot and damp, Kyle wished he could have lingered to taste it, to feel it under his fingers, but he thought Shane came for sex and preferred speed, power.
Kyle heard Shane groan, it delighted him. When his mouth descended to his chest, Shane’s hands were in Kyle’s hair. He was murmuring something…his name or was it something else, Kyle couldn’t tell. He thought he understood Shane’s urgency, the way he pulled him up and against him, when he rolled over him, Kyle whispered his agreement and took Shane inside him.
Shane stiffened. On an oath, he tried to hold back his impending need and draw back, but Kyle’s hips arched and thrust against Shane, leaving his body no choice but to…
Kyle’s lips were curved when Shane lay over him, his face buried in his hair, his breath still shuddering from his climax. Shane wouldn’t regret this, Kyle thought, rubbing a soothing hand over his shoulder… and neither would he. It was more than Kyle had had in the ten years since they split, more than Kyle had ever expected. There had been warmth when Shane filled him and a quiet contentment when he felt Shane spill into him. Kyle thought how nice it would be to close his eyes and fall off into a sweet sleep with Shane’s body still warm on his. It would be like…
Shane was mentally cursing himself, steadily. He was enraged by his lack of control, and baffled by the way Kyle had rushed them both from kiss to climatic completion, he’d barely touched him, and in more ways than one. Though it was Kyle who had set the pace at a run, he knew Kyle hadn’t come close to fulfillment. If he were to be honest with himself, neither did he. Granted, he had had a powerful climax, but it never reached him emotionally, in fact, it left his senses starving for fulfillment.
Struggling for calm, Shane rolled away from Kyle to stare at the ceiling. Kyle had set off an explosion that neither of them had shared the joy. “Why did you do that, Kyle?” he asked him.
Kyle’s hand paused on its way to brush aside his hair. “I don’t understand, I thought you wanted to have sex.”
“I did, but I thought that you did also.”
“But I figured that you are nothing like the man I once loved, although you are still extremely handsome, but I thought that with your new lifestyle, you liked…” His eyes closed as his words abandoned him. “I guess I never moved on, how could I when you left me utterly destroyed.” He swore loudly and vulgarly enough that Shane startled.
Moving quickly, Kyle scrambled out of bed to struggle back into the silk robe that lay on the floor.
“Where the hell are you going?”
“Away from you, is where,” he said and hurried out of the bedroom and out onto his private balcony. “You can just chalk this up to one more of your conquests, Shane, because I don’t want to be with you,” he added before slamming the door closed behind him.
“Well that’s just too fucking bad, Kyle, because you already made that choice to be with me, remember?” he growled as he stepped out onto the balcony, his very presence crowded Kyle up against the railing.
There it is, Kyle thought, he’s as angry as I am. It wouldn’t be for the same reasons, but he was furious and it gave Kyle a temporary joy to know it.
“Look Shane, I did the best that I could to make your world spin, considering…”
“Considering what, that you still hate me, or does it go deeper than that?” he angrily asked, his amber eyes exploding with tiny gold flecks.
“I’m sorry if I wasn’t good enough; like I said, I did the best I could under the circumstances.”
“Wasn’t good enough?” Shane repeated as he crowded into Kyle’s personal space even more. “Someone should have long ago dropped you on your head and knocked some damn sense into you. There were two of us in that bed, Kyle, me and you, and what happens in it is supposed to be mutual, and instead I get to fuck a cadaver,” he coldly said, and immediately, he regretted it.
He recognized Kyle’s look, he’d seen it ten years before when Kyle had come upon him and Damian in the shower, betrayal, anger, and the reverse of love — hurt and hatred.
The anger flush died away from Kyle’s face, leaving behind pallor so pale that it made snow look dark. Kyle’s eyes filled. Pressing his fingers against his own eyes, Shane swore. He hadn’t meant to hurt Kyle, not ten years before, and surely not now.
“I’m sorry, Kyle, but did you feel anything?” he quietly asked.
“I did.” He rubbed away the tears from his cheek, infuriated that he had allowed Shane to see him cry, much less, to glimpse inside his heart.
“Well that’s a miracle, because you barely let me touch you. I’m not blaming you,” he got up and took a step, but Kyle evaded him.
No one made him cry anymore… no one, and surely not Shane, not since…
Shane, searching for patience stood where he was. “I didn’t exactly fight you off. I thought… let’s just say by the time I understood, it was too late to do anything about it. I’d like to make it up to you.”
“There’s nothing to make up,” Kyle had himself under control again, ice water had extinguished the fire inside him, eyes were dry, his voice calm, controlled, and cold once again. “Let’s just forget it and I’d like you to leave now.”
Shane let out a huff of breath, and then shrugged. When he turned and walked inside, Kyle followed him. Instead of leaving, Shane reached for the switch and closed the lights.
“What are you doing?” Kyle furiously asked of Shane.
“We tried it your way.” In the intense moonlight that drifted in from the open doors, he moved across the room to where Kyle stood and took him into his arms as his lips paused but a breath from Kyle’s. “NOW, we are going to do it my way.”
Kyle was trembling and his body shook with fear as he looked up into Shane’s eyes. “I want to go to bed and…”
“Good,” he swept Kyle tighter into his arms, “so do I,” he whispered.
“I’ve had enough hurt and humiliation for one lifetime from you, Shane,” he said between clinched teeth. “Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me, or so the saying goes.”
Kyle saw something in Shane’s eyes, something dark, but when he spoke, his voice was quiet. “I’m sorry Kyle; I never meant to hurt you, not now or ten years ago.”
“Well you did both times.”
Though Kyle held himself rigid, Shane lowered him gently to the bed. With his eyes on Kyle’s, he let his fingers linger in the silky softness of Kyle’s hair.
“I’ve imagined you here like this, Kyle, in the moonlight, with your nakedness against mine, with nothing and no one else but you for miles around.”
Moved, Kyle turned his head away, he wouldn’t be seduced by words again and made a fool of himself, no, not ever again. Shane only smiled and pressed his lips to Kyle’s throat.
“I love a challenge; surely you remember that about me, Kyle.” He slipped the robe from his shoulders to cruise the slope of his chest.
They were well defined mounds of pure muscle, and he nibbled and kissed his way from one taught nipple to the other.
“I’m going to take you places you’ve long forgotten existed for us,” he took Kyle’s hand, pleased that his pulse raced as fast as his own. “You shouldn’t be afraid to let go of the past, our past, and enjoy yourself,” he stormed his nipple with his lips, caressed it with his tongue and then bit it, causing Kyle’s back to arch from the deliriousness of the sensation.
Kyle tried to shift away, but Shane’s arms only wrapped tighter around him, keeping him pressed to him.
“We’ve already had sex, Shane.”
“Yes we did, so now let me love you as I once did, without the hatred and pain interfering.”
‘If only that were possible,’ he thought as Shane’s mouth ravaged his nipples.
When Kyle started to turn his face away, Shane’s hands cupped his face and kept Kyle’s eyes locked to his. But when Shane’s mouth came to Kyle’s again, Kyle’s heart leaped into his throat. It was soft, tempting, and gone was the anger from moments earlier. As his fingertips stroked Kyle’s cheeks, Kyle let out a strangled sigh. Shane dipped into Kyle’s parted lips to tease his tongue with his own.
“Shane, please, I don’t want…” he moaned as Shane’s teeth nipped into Kyle’s bottom lip, silencing him.
“I know what you don’t want Kyle, but tell me what you do want,” Shane whispered against Kyle’s ear, his breath a sensuous caress.
“I…I don’t know.” Kyle’s mind was confused and when he lifted his hands to push Shane away, they only lay limp on his shoulders.
Shane whispered to Kyle, soft, dreamy words that floated aimlessly in his head. Then Shane drugged Kyle’s body with a kiss, long, lazy, luxuriously drowning away all pain, all the bitterness, and left behind only his love for Kyle to further drug him...seduce him. Though Kyle’s body began trembling, he barely touched him, just those fingertips stroking along Kyle’s shoulders, over his face, and into his hair.
His tongue slid over the tops of his chest, just above the nipples, his skin was like honey there, Shane thought, as he laved the valley between the hard, muscled mounds. But when Kyle reached out, Shane took his hands in his and entwined their fingers together.
Taking his time, his devastating time, Shane inched the robe away with his teeth. Kyle arched up, offering himself, his fingers tensing like wires against Shane’s. Shane only murmured and, leaving a moist trail, eased the other half of the robe away.
Shane’s own breathing was short, ragged and shallow, but he fought back the urge to take greedily. With teasing openmouthed kisses he circled Kyle, flicking his hot tongue over his tall, hard nipple until Kyle shuddered and cried out his name. On a groan of pure pleasure, Shane sucked the tender nub.
Kyle felt the pressure deep inside, clenching, unclenching, to the rhythm of Shane’s clever and talented mouth. Building, layering, growing, until Kyle thought he would die from it.
As every muscle in Kyle’s body went lax, he covered his mouth with his. “Good Lord, Shane, I forgot how incredible you were,” he whispered and flinched at his own words. “Please stop, I can’t think, Shane,” he begged.
“Then stop thinking and just feel… my love,” he whispered in response.
Shane straddled Kyle; Kyle was prepared for Shane to take him. Shane had already given him more, so much more than he had ever had. Show him what he had forgotten, what it had been like for them, and he found himself shocked that he wanted more. Shane began to remove the robe with infinite care, infinite patience, as he kept his eyes locked with Kyle’s.
It had been far too long for him to be there like this with Kyle. He loved being able to see everything Kyle felt, he missed that the most. He heard the whisper of silk against Kyle’s flesh as he drew away the robe. He felt the passion vibrate from Kyle as he pressed his mouth to the quivering flesh of Kyle’s abdomen.
Soaring, Kyle stroked Shane’s hair; let his mind follow where his own body so desperately wanted to go with Shane. This was heaven, more demanding, more exciting, and more erotic than any paradise he could have dreamed up. Kyle could feel the sheets, hot from his own body, tangled beneath him, and the shimmer of his silk robe as it slipped slowly, seductively away. Shane’s skin, dampened from pleasure, slid over Kyle’s, and when his lips parted on a sigh, Kyle could still taste Shane there, rich and all male.
There was so much to absorb, to consider and think about, and yet, so much to experience. Kyle did not hate him, had he been honest with himself, he’d admit that he never did. He gazed down at the man who was making love to his body with his mouth and sighed. Shane had moved on after they parted. He became one of the world's most sought after male models and had even been touted as the next James Bond.
Kyle was his now, he knew it as well as did Shane, much more his than he’d been ten years ago. Shane sat up and drank in the maleness that was Kyle, his body was like a wish, long, slim, but muscular, and it paled in the moonlight. Kyle’s breath was quick and quiet, and it was Shane’s name, only his name, Kyle whispered for… ached for… when Shane touched him. His hands flexed on Shane’s shoulder, urging him on.
Shane slid down Kyle’s legs, nibbling everywhere as he went. The scent of his skin was intoxicating, a tormenting delight he could have lingered over endlessly. But Kyle’s body was restless, poised; Shane knew that Kyle must be aching, because he was.
He stroked a fingertip up Kyle’s thigh, along that sensitive flesh, close, so close to where he wanted to be. He lowered his tongue to it and laved it until he had Kyle screaming to be taken.
“Shane… now please,” Kyle’s body was writhing beneath him and when Shane entered him, Kyle screamed out as ecstasy claimed him completely.
Shane continued his slow conquest of Kyle, with long, slow…anguished strokes that not only tormented Kyle, but him also. He nearly lost it when he felt Kyle’s nails dig into the hardness of his ass, pulling him down as Kyle would thrust up.
“Aaaagggghhhhh fuck I’m cumming,” Kyle screamed out and then pulled Shane’s mouth to his, kissing him as his need spewed forth between their sweat-covered bodies.
No longer able to maintain his control, Shane’s rhythm quickened, and he pounded his sex harder, deeper and with greater urgency. The breathless moan came first, and then the magic of his impending climax as it catapulted Shane over the precipice and into the abyss of ecstasy.
“I love you,” he cried out as his manhood erupted violently into the heat of Kyle’s body.
His rhythm was controlling his body as his cock thrust harder, faster and deeper into Kyle. Stunned by the power of it, Kyle arched against him, shuddering again and again as another climax overtook him. Though his hands clutched at Shane, Shane continued to drive Kyle with his mouth, with his relentless fingers, and with his sex, until Kyle shot beyond pleasure to delirium.
Then Kyle’s arms were around him and they were spinning off together, rolling over on the bed like lightning and thunder. The time for patience was over and the time for greed begun.
Shane fought for breath as Kyle’s hands raced over him, as he had the first time; he ripped away Shane’s control. But now Kyle was with him, beat for beat, thrust for thrust, and need for need. Shane saw Kyle’s eyes glow, dark with passion, depthless with desire, and his slick skin shimmering with it in the shadowy light.
One last time, Shane, brought his mouth down on Kyle’s, swallowing his stunned cry, as he thrust himself into him. On a half cry, Kyle wrapped his arms and legs tighter around him, locking them tight as they raced together toward madness.
Shane was exhausted, weak as a baby and heavy. Using what strength he could muster, Shane rolled, taking Kyle with his so that their positions were reversed. Satisfied, he cradled Kyle’s head and decided he very much liked the sensation of his body sprawled over his.
Kyle shuddered, Shane soothed.
“Cold?” he asked and Kyle shook his head.
Lazy as a cat, Shane stroked a hand down Kyle’s naked back. “I might, in a hour or so, find the strength to look for the blankets,” he mused.
“I’m fine…really,” Kyle purred but his voice was unsteady.
Frowning, Shane cupped a hand under Kyle’s chin and lifted it. He could see a tear glittering on Kyle’s lashes. “What’s this?” he asked.
“I’m not crying,” he said, almost fiercely.
“Okay, what are you?”
Kyle tried to duck his head again, but Shane held it firm. “You’ll think me stupid.”
“Probably the only time I couldn’t think your were stupid is right after you’ve turned me inside out.” He gave Kyle a quick kiss. “Spill it Kyle,” he demanded.
“It’s just that I…” he let out an impatient breath. “I didn’t think it could ever be this good… this earth moving again.”
“Why, Kyle?” he asked, his lips curved, funny, but it seemed that he was getting his strength back. Maybe it was the way Kyle was looking at him, dazed, embarrassed… handsome. “You mean like really good? Maybe you mean terrific… or maybe astounding?”
“Now you are making fun of me.”
“Yep, I was hoping for a compliment, but you don’t want to give me one. I figure you’re just too damn stubborn to admit that we still have that magic between us. But that’s okay, it’s a long cruise and I can keep you locked in this room until we have to leave at the end of the cruise.”
“Damn it, Shane, it’s not easy for me to be here with you like this, feeling what I am, and not hate you.”
“You don’t have to hate me, sweetness, because all I want is to love you and prove that what you saw that day was not me.”
“But it was you, Shane. It was you with your naked body locked with Damian’s as you both kissed.
“Then do you want me to leave?” he asked.
“That’s the problem; I don’t know what I want, much less what I feel.”
“Then answer me this and then I’ll leave,” he said. “Why did you come on this cruise, and please don’t say it’s because it was already paid for.”
Kyle had regained his control and he intended to use it to best of his ability over Shane.
“Mostly, it was, Shane, because when I go back I am filing for bankruptcy,” he said and turned his gaze from Shane.
“Then let me give you whatever you need, Kyle. I have more than enough to take care of whatever needs you have. Or better yet,” he drew in a deep breath and continued. “Marry me, and let me take care of you for always,” he said, shocking Kyle with his proposal.
Kyle flew from the bed, grabbed his robe and hurried from the room. Shane lay wondering what had just happened. What had changed so quickly in Kyle to make him run away, he wondered as he, too, got up and after pulling on his briefs, and followed Kyle out onto the balcony.
Kyle wrapped his arms across his chest to ward off the chill of the ocean breeze and stared out over the water, the view, although nothing but water, was incredible.
From where he stood, he could see the white caps of the waves as they broke, moving effortlessly toward some distant shore. He could see the breaking of the sun as it made its appearance on the horizon, signaling the beginning of another day. They had made love all night, so why wasn’t he tired. He was sated, felt loved, but he was not tired.
“Was it the proposal, Kyle,” Shane whispered when he came up behind Kyle, wrapping his arms around Kyle’s waist and his chin resting on a shoulder. “Please don’t close me out, talk to me,” he pleaded.
“Why now, Shane?” he asked, turning in Shane’s arms to face him.
“Why now… what?” he asked.
“You know, why ask me to marry you now after not bothering to call, or even write me during these ten years?”
Shane let his arms drop and when he tried to turn away, Kyle grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to face him... forced him to answer.
“You want the truth, Kyle? Do you really think you can handle the truth?” he asked and Kyle nodded. “I had hoped that by now you had read the brief letter, but from the way that you have behaved tonight, I can see that you haven’t. So come with me,” he said, taking Kyle by the hand and leading him back into their stateroom. “Where is it…the envelope I had delivered earlier,” he asked and Kyle led him to the living room.
“There, on the table by the door. I came just before you did, so I never had the time to open and read it,” he said and watched Shane walk off and retrieve it.
“Open it and read what’s inside,” he told him demandingly, sitting down beside him on the sofa.
Kyle looked at Shane suspiciously before tearing the envelope open and pulling out a smaller one. He gazed at the penmanship, recognizing it immediately.
“This is my father’s handwriting,” Kyle said and Shane nodded. “I don’t understand why you had this?” he asked.
“Just read it, damn it,” he snapped and then running his hand through his hair, he said, “I’m sorry, Kyle, would you please read the letter and then we we’ll discuss it.”
Kyle tore open the envelope to find a paper that seemed aged by time. He carefully unfolded it and focused his teary eyes upon the handwriting. He knew it was his father’s, he'd've recognized it anywhere. He had often left him notes, so he recognized each swirl of his letters that he wrote.
Shane,
Seeing how you walked out on our discussion earlier, I decided to write to you and demand of you what I insist that you do. I want you to walk away from Kyle. You are not now nor ever will you be good enough for him. I know your past, I know the kind of background you come from and as I said, you are not good enough for Kyle.
I don’t care how you do it, but leave him. I’ve asked, no I demanded of Damian to assist you in any way possible. He disagreed but after I told him a few secrets that he had well hidden, or so he thought, I persuaded him to help you.
Now if you decide to go to Kyle, I’ll kill you before you ever have the chance to do so. It may mean me spending my life behind bars, but damn if I’ll let Kyle love any man but me. I’m not his biological father, although I am the only father he’s ever known, and I am in love with him and I am the only man who is not only good enough for him, but knows how to make him happy.
D. Bradley
Kyle set the letter down on his lap and his eyes and cheeks were wet with tears when he looked up at Shane. He was speechless; he had no words to say, knowing that if he tried, he’d lose all composure.
“I’m sorry, Kyle, so fucking sorry that you had to read this. But I love you, I’ve always loved you and I want to make a life together with you.”
Kyle lunged from the sofa and fell into Shane’s arms. He buried his face against Shane’s chest and cried.
“I’ve got you babe, let it all go,” Shane whispered as he held the only man that his heart had or would ever love.
“He wasn’t my real father?” he asked once he regained control.
“No babe, Damian’s father is your real father,” he said, shocking Kyle even further. “After we broke up, I began snooping around, digging, until I found out the truth. It seems that your mother had a brief affair with Jonathon Maxwell and she got pregnant with you by him. Your father found out and he threatened to destroy Jonathon and kill your mother.”
“But my mother was killed shortly after I was born; she fell down the stairs and broke her neck. The police investigated it, and decided that it was accidental.”
“Maybe it was and yet, maybe it wasn’t. All I know is that Jonathon was scared to death of your father and he left his wife shortly after your mother’s death. I only recently found out the truth from him, because with your father dead, he no longer had a reason to fear the truth.”
Shane could see anger once again raging in Kyle, and he startled when Kyle turned his wrath on him.
“You knew all this and never once in the past ten years tried to contact me to tell me the truth?” He was yelling and his fists were pounding against the rock hardness of Shane’s chest. “How could you let me go all these years believing you a cheat when you knew the truth? Have you any idea how horrible my life was under my dad’s tyranny?”
“Kyle, I…”
“No you don’t, you don’t know the shame I felt when the man I thought to be my real father raped me. Night after night he took me into his bed and made me his love slave, doing things to me that no son should have to endure at the hands of his own father.”
“I’m sorry, but…”
“Enough, I’ve heard and read enough for now, please go. I need time to sort out the truth from all the lies I’ve been told.”
“Please, Kyle, let me help you get through this,” Shane asked, no, he begged, but Kyle shook his head and marched over to the door and flung it open.
Shane gathered up his clothes, dressed and without meeting Kyle’s eyes, left him. Kyle slammed the door as soon as Shane had stepped through it.
Kyle slumped against the door and slowly slid down to the floor and cried.
Days passed and Shane had neither seen nor heard from Kyle. He knew that he was alive, because he had bribed Kyle’s steward to keep him informed about Kyle’s welfare. He had once gone to Kyle’s stateroom and listened at the door, hoping for a sound, anything that might tell him that he was still loved by Kyle. But all that he had heard was Kyle telling someone that he had the money and it was just a matter of time before his debts were paid off.
“You are only after me for my money,” he whispered as he walked away.
It was the actual night of the reunion, Shane had decided, since he had been the one to orchestrate this reunion, he should attend it, if only for a short while.
“Where’s your shadow, Shane,” Marc Humphreys asked. “You two were inseparable in school and I expected to see you two together tonight,” he whispered leaning close to Shane.
Marc had been the only one from their class to know the truth about Shane and Kyle’s sexuality. He had caught them in the gym showers one afternoon when he had forgotten his book bag and when he returned, he found Shane fucking Kyle. He’d kept their secret and never betrayed it to others.
“I don’t think…”
“Here he is,” Marc said excitedly as he looked past Shane to Kyle, who looked sinfully handsome in his tux.
Shane reeled around and smiled when he saw Kyle walking up to him. Kyle interlocked his arm with Shane’s and smiled at Marc.
“How are you, Marc, you’re looking as handsome as ever.”
“Thanks, I can say the same about you and stud man here. So tell me Kyle, because I can’t get shit out of Shane, what’s been going on with you two?”
“Well, in case he’s not told you, we’re getting married once we reach port in St. Thomas,” he whispered, not only shocking Marc, but also, Shane.
“We are… oh yes, we are,” Shane said, surprised by the sudden change in Kyle.
“Damn, and here I believed that I had a shot at you, Kyle.”
“Well if things…”
“If you’ll excuse us, Marc, I’d like a few moments to talk with my future husband,” Shane interrupted and with his hand at the small of Kyle’s back, he led him from the ballroom.
Shane walked them half way around the deck before finding a quiet place to talk.
“What the hell was that all about in there, Kyle?” a stunned Shane asked.
“Do you mean my little announcement? Why, are you reneging on your proposal?” he asked.
“You know I’m not, but I want to know what is going on here, with you. I haven’t seen or heard a word from you in two days and now you act as if nothing ever happened. So again, what the fuck gives?” he asked with his fists planted firmly on each hip.
“I’ve come to terms with the truth about us, and about my dad. So if you still want to marry me, then I’ll marry you. If not, tell me and I’ll move on… maybe Marc would be interested, he was in high school and he looks delicious now.”
“Stop it, Kyle; you know damn well that I love you and still want to marry you. It’s just this sudden change from hate to love; this is what I don’t understand.”
Kyle knew that Shane did not understand his sudden change, neither did he. But one thing Kyle had come to terms with, was the fact that he did love Shane, he’d never stopped loving him. Money or no money, he loved him and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.
“I don’t know what is going on inside that handsome head of yours, but, now is not the time to go into it. You’ve already told Marc about us getting married, so let's go into the reunion and confirm what most of our classmates already suspected of us.”
“Alright, but I need you to understand one thing, I love you, Shane Bradley, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he confessed and then pressed his body against Shane’s and kissed him.
“I love you more, Kyle; I always have,” he said, taking Kyle’s hand in his and walking back to the reunion.
As they walked into the room and toward the stage where the DJ was set up, their classmates' eyes noticed that they walked hand in hand.
“May I have your attention please,” Shane spoke into the microphone, causing the room to go quiet. “As many of you have suspected, Kyle Hibbard and I are gay and he’s agreed to be my husband.”
It started out as a loud whisper and then the room erupted into applause, with various classmates coming up and congratulating them. Kyle was crimson with embarrassment at first, but soon found that most of his past classmates had accepted him and Shane as well as their sexuality.
Shane requested a song from the DJ and once it began to play, he led Kyle onto the dance floor. He crushed Kyle’s body against his as he began swaying their bodies to the beat of the song. Kyle had his arms around Shane’s neck, while Shane’s arms surrounded Kyle’s waist.
Shane kept watching Kyle; he couldn’t get out of his head what he had overheard Kyle telling someone about getting the money he needed. He loved Kyle, but he’d be damn if he was going to marry him if all that Kyle was after was his money.
After the last of the members of the reunion had left to return to their staterooms, Shane and Kyle walked back to Kyle’s. Once alone in the room, Kyle threw his arms around Shane’s neck, but when he raised his lips to Shane’s, Shane turned his head, broke their hold and turned from Kyle.
“What did I do now?” Kyle asked, moving up behind him, his hands encircling his waist.
“I want you to tell me the truth, Kyle; are you marrying me for me, or for my money?” he blurted out after turning to face him.
“Your money… why would you ask me such a question?” he asked, stunned by this sudden turn of events.
“I don’t want a question for a question, just tell me the truth,” he demanded. “Is that too much to ask?”
“No…yes.” Struggling to clear his mind, he pressed a hand against Shane’s chest.
“If you don’t know the answer to that question, then, no, I am not going to marry you. I’ve already made one mistake, allowing myself to be dominated by a man’s authority and power, and I refuse…”
“Don’t you ever compare me to that man…ever!” Shane shouted with fury and fire in his eyes, which caused Kyle to take a few steps away from him.
Kyle started to speak, but Shane’s grip on his hand tightened, briefly, and silenced him.
“Don’t ever compare what I feel for you with what that man felt for you; are we clear here?” Shane asked; Kyle nodded.
“I wasn’t comparing you,” his heart was hammering in his chest. “It’s me, it was my mistake, mine alone, to allow him to use and abuse me, and I’m never going to make another one like it.”
“Is that how you see me, as a man that wants to use and abuse you? It takes two people; damn it Kyle, you should know this,” he shouted, enraged, he braced himself over him, and then took both of Kyle’s hands in his. “If you want to play it that way, fine, but I want you to ask yourself this — has anyone else, your dad included, ever made you feel like I make you feel, both in and out of bed?”
Shane’s mouth swooped down to take Kyle’s in a hot, rough, frantic kiss that had Kyle arching against him. In protest? In pleasure? Even Kyle couldn’t tell, because sensations swarmed through him like thousands of swirling stars, all heat and light. Before he could draw and release a breath, he was tossed into the storm.
No, his mind all but screamed it. No one, ever, except for Shane had ever caused a hunger so sharp and a need so desperate. Even as Kyle’s body strained against Shane, he struggled to remember that it wasn’t enough to want, it was always enough to have… there had to be trust and love between the two.
Whipped by fury and frustration, Shane crushed his mouth to Kyle’s, again and again, and then again. If only for this one moment, he would prove to Kyle that what they had together was unique to them. Kyle would think of no one, compare Shane to no one, and remember nothing, but only Shane.
Kyle’s response tore through Shane, so complete, so right. The small, helpless sound that purred up from his throat shuddered into Shane. Like flames of a fire, what they created burned and consumed them. The gentle loving that had initiated them both during the night was replaced by a wild and urgent hunger that left no room for tender words and soft caresses.
Kyle didn’t want them. This was a new, frenetic storm of needs that demanded speed and pushed for power. Kyle tore his hands from Shane’s to drag at his clothes. Twin groans tangled as flesh met flesh, grew with a new aggression; Kyle rolled onto Shane to take his mouth on a frantic race over his body… still it wasn’t enough.
Shane’s breath raged; he stripped the layers of clothing from Kyle, from himself, not caring about what he tore. One driving need was prominent… to possess; his hands gripped, fingers pressed and mouth devoured.
Agile and electric, Kyle moved over Shane. His face glowed, handsome and yet it glowed in the moon’s light. Kyle’s body arched, magnificent in its new power, sheened with passion, shuddering from it, strengthened by it. For one, glorious moment, Kyle rose over Shane, his hands lifting up into his hair, his head thrown back as he lost himself in the magic of it all. Kyle’s body shuddered once, twice, as separate explosions burst within him. Even as Kyle gasped, Shane gripped Kyle by the hips and sheathed himself deep inside him.
He filled Kyle, not just physically; even through the wracking pleasure Kyle understood that. Shane, and only Shane, had found the key that opened every part of Kyle. Shane, and only Shane, had found the way inside Kyle’s heart, his mind… again, and somehow, without trying, Kyle had found the way back into Shane’s.
Kyle hadn’t wanted to love Shane, but for ten, long and excruciating years, he had only hated him. He also hadn’t wanted to need him, but he did now, more than ever before. Opening his eyes, Shane looked down at him with eyes that were dark and direct on his. Kyle knew, though he didn’t speak it, that Shane understood every thought in Kyle’s head. On a sigh that was as much from despair as from delight, Kyle bent down to press his mouth to Shane’s.
Shane could taste both the needs and the fears. He was determined to exploit the first and drive away the second. Staying deep inside Kyle, Shane pushed up so that he could wrap his arms around Kyle. He watched his eyes widen, stunned with pleasure, and glazed with passion. Kyle’s fingers dug into his back, his cry of release was muffled against Shane’s mouth seconds before Shane let his own seed go.
“Shane…I…” another kiss stole his words as well as his breath and he clung maddeningly to the one man who had been his life as well as his tormentor for ten years.
“If you want my money, just ask me, Kyle; don’t prostitute yourself to me for it.”
Those words alone, stole his breath, stopped his heart and with the movement of a cat, caused his hand to strike Shane’s cheek.
“Let me up,” Kyle screamed as he shoved at Shane’s chest. “I mean it, let me up before I kill you right here and now,” he further demanded.
“No, not until you answer my question, Kyle.”
“No and yes, okay, now you have your fucking answer so let me up.”
“No, as in you don’t want my money, and yes, as in you do? Which is it, Kyle?” he asked, his body still holding him down.
“Alright, if you’ll get off me, I’ll tell you everything you want to hear,” he demanded as well, and reluctantly, Shane’s sex eased from Kyle and he rolled to Kyle’s side.
After several long, silent minutes, Shane leaned up on an elbow and looked down into Kyle’s closed eyes. “Well, I’m waiting,” he said and he could see the anger mixed with anxiousness in Kyle’s eyes.
“I’ll admit that I did come here with the aim of securing a loan from you, so that I could pay my debtors and avoid bankruptcy. But once the cruise started and I had read the letter that my… well once I read it, I found that I no longer cared if I went under or not.”
“Why the change, what happened to change your mind,” he quietly asked.
Shane looked down at Kyle, his amber eyes filled with an intense yet incomprehensible emotion. Briefly Shane wondered if he only imagined it or had he seen fear in Kyle’s eyes.
Feeling as uncertain as he, Kyle reached out and touched his arm, and very softly he said, “That wasn’t the reason, Shane.”
“Then tell me, what happened to change your mind?” he had looked away, only his low almost rasping voice told him, Shane was vitally attentive to Kyle’s every word.
Perhaps Shane was as afraid as Kyle… or vice versa.
Kyle pulled at Shane’s arm, forcing him to face him again. A thousand doubts tore through his heart as Shane’s hard gaze met his. Should he be honest or should he keep hiding behind all the barriers he’d built to protect himself from his true feeling?
Some instinct warned Kyle that there comes a time in all relationships when the moment of truth must be faced, no matter how vulnerable one feels, no matter how frightened it may be to do so.
Kyle swallowed. Why was it so much more difficult for him to risk himself emotionally that physically? If he told Shane how he felt, and he laughed at him, he would die.
It was so easy to fight, and yet, it was so hard to love.
At last, he said hesitantly, “You happened, because I found that I no longer hated you, but that I loved you, damn it. Now you have your answer and so would you please leave,” Kyle quietly demanded.
Shane’s dark face was grave as he moved back a little and searched Kyle’s features for the truth. Gruffly, so as not to show how much he cared, he said, “You used the past tense of love… you loved me.”
“Then I’ll use the present tense, I love you, Shane.”
“You never let on.”
Kyle remembered all the defenses he’d built around his heart after Shane left him ten years ago. Shane was rich, Kyle was poor. He was famous and successful. All Kyle possessed was an overdue and badly-in-need-of-repair-mortgaged house and a college degree. Shane was sinfully handsome; he could have any man. Kyle was a dreamer whose dreams had never come true.
“Oh, Shane, can’t you understand that it was only because I was afraid to?” he whispered.
Shane pulled Kyle into his arms and wrapped him closely. “You shouldn’t have been.” His voice was an odd, cracked sound.
Kyle felt the heat of Shane’s body burning into him, the warmth of his lips in his hair. “You jilted me ten years ago, Shane.”
“I told you why and you read his letter.”
“I guess I was too unsure of myself as a person to believe you could want me still.”
Kyle felt Shane’s hands stroking his hair, could it be true, Shane loved him, too? Kyle clung to him tightly, feeling safe and complete in the cradling circle of his muscular arms. It was as if Shane finally belonged at last, to the only man Kyle had ever truly loved.
“Believe me, Kyle, it hurt me more to have you find me in a compromising position with Damian, but I swear before God as my witness, it never went beyond that kiss. I loved you then, and I love you now. And I know all about feeling unsure. I thought you were marrying me for my money because some part of me still feels that without money, I would be nothing again and despised, and that no man would want me…not even you, Kyle. The scars of my childhood, I guess, are partly to blame.”
“Oh, Shane, I’m sorry.”
“It didn’t help, either, when your father forced me to leave you when he realized I was in love with you and that we were going to be married. I was just beginning to believe in myself, when everything blew up in my face. It was even worse than before, because the man I loved, who not only loved me for me, but believed in me also, his father thought I wasn’t good enough for him. You see, Kyle, your father told me about his own past which wasn’t so different from mine, and he felt he was a failure.”
“He wouldn’t ever talk to me about his past,” Kyle whispered.
“Your dad didn’t say much, but the bottom line was he didn’t have any more faith in my doing well than he had in himself. He didn’t want you tied to a man with no future. He loved you, Kyle, sick as it was that a father could lust after his own son, but he did love you. You were always fighting so hard to prove yourself to him as a young man that wanted to be independent, but to no avail because he never intended to ever let you go. You were the most important thing in the world to him and he only saw me as someone who would stop his plan for having you and take you away from him.
“I held a grudge against the two of your for a while, because I thought that you and he were willing lovers and just that thought made me sick. But gradually I got past those feelings, even though I couldn’t understand your father’s, wanting to love you as he did.”
“And I blamed you for that.”
Shane smiled. “Apparently there was a time when you blamed me for everything.”
“I could never get that image of you and Damian…”
Shane’s eyes grew bitter, “Ah, yes, my so called affair. But now you know that it was just a rue to make you hate me, so that…”
“I doubt that Dad would have killed you. If he had, that would mean that he would never have me because he’d be in prison.”
“There was more, Kyle, so much more that I never told you. He’d have killed you also, he told me so. You, to him, were created for him, he thought, and no one was ever going to have you if he did not. Did he ever mistreat you?”
“Not in a physical way, but emotionally and mentally, yes he did. He did tell me that he wasn’t my biological father, but he never would tell me who was.”
“Did he violently rape you?” Shane feared to ask.
“No, but nevertheless it was rape. You had just left and he came by that night to comfort me as he called it. He told me to go to bed and I did, but just before I drifted off to sleep, he came in. He was naked and crawled into bed beside me and…” Kyle’s eyes welled up as he recalled that night.
“Don’t, sweetheart, he’s dead and we are together, so don’t go back there.” Shane’s hands gently took Kyle’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“You should know, I need to talk it out…"
"Alright, then. Go on, lover."
"…or else it will forever be between us. As I said, he came into my room naked, crawled into bed beside me and pulled me to him. I struggled against his hold, but his strength was greater and before I knew what was happening, he was on top of me. I yelled and cursed him, but he held my hands together over my head and thrust fully into me…”
“No more, I know now that you were raped and that you never were a willing partner.”
“How could you ever believe me to be? After all, I loved you and was going to marry you, Shane?”
“Anger and hate can cause thoughts that aren’t true, but the pain that attacks your heart and mind makes them seem so, and you begin to believe those thoughts.”
“Shane?”
“Yes?”
“Can you ever trust me to love you for you and not for your money?”
“I can if you can say beyond all doubt that you can trust me beyond all doubt to love only you and no other.”
“I do, Shane, I know now that what you did was for my benefit; your leaving may have even saved my life.”
“Why didn’t you ever leave him and run away. I made sure that where I lived, what I did was always in the news so that you could find me?”
“He threatened you to me. He told me that first night after you left and he had finished his rape of me, that if I ever tried to contact you, he’d hire someone to kill you. I may have outwardly hated you, but in my heart, I still loved you and did not want you dead. So I stayed with him, took his sexual abuse and prayed that one day…”
“One day… what?” he asked.
“That one day you would come looking for me, but the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years, and you never came for me. I stopped hoping that you would come back and threw myself into my business. I hated it, hated him, and most of all, I hated you. But my work kept me busy, and every time I read about your success, I hated you more because you were free to live while I merely existed. I saw the pictures of you in People magazine, as well as the tabloids that linked you with this guy or that guy romantically. I told myself that you had moved on and that I was nothing more than a memory to you that you wanted to forget.”
“There, babe, is where you were wrong, because there wasn’t a day that went by, not one that I didn’t think of you, Kyle. I dreamt of you at night, you and I, sharing the life that we had planned, but I would wake up in the morning to some stranger beside me. It wasn’t that I had moved on, which I did with my career, but each man that I shared my bed with was for my own sexual gratification and never for love.”
“I’ve never had another, other than…” he told him. “You were my first and I wanted you to be my last, to love. When we were together, you were so kind, caring, and had such a wonderful sense of humor, and a wild imagination. But then I would picture in my mind’s eye, your body, and I could cum just thinking of you naked and making love to me as you once did.”
Shane laughed at last believing Kyle. “Keep talking sweetheart; don’t stop now that you are on a roll with my virtues.”
“I could go on forever,” Kyle admitted softly. “But the thing is, Shane, you were then, are now, and always will be the only man for me.
“As you’re the only man for me, Kyle.” He loomed over Kyle, his eyes caressing.
In the moonlight his hair was nearly red against his tanned skin. His deep amber eyes sparkled brilliantly. Kyle was conscious of a qualm…could this gorgeous man really love him?”
“I really do love you, Kyle,” as if reading his mind, he whispered in the most tender of voices.
Kyle smiled radiantly; unaware of how handsome he was when he smiled. His penetrating blue eyes sparkled with happiness; his cheeks glowed from some hidden thought that had made him blush. His hair, which fluttered loosely about his face in the soft breeze from the water and it, framed his face to perfection.
Never had Kyle seemed more handsome to Shane than he did then, smiling up at Shane with the love he felt for Shane shining in his eyes.
“Do you want me to change?” Kyle whispered and Shane slowly shook his head. “Compared to the exciting world that you travel in, I’m nothing but some country bumpkin.”
“No, babe, I want you just the way you are — perfect.”
Kyle caught his breath as Shane lowered his head; his mouth was soft on his, infinitely gentle, filled with love and caring. Kyle felt warmly alive, young and in love...and his.
Then it all came to a halt with the knocking on the door.
“Don’t answer it, Shane,” Kyle pleaded his need for him unbearable.
“If I don’t, whoever is there will just keep knocking,” he said as he rose from the bed, grabbed a robe and left the room, and Kyle felt the immediate loss as soon as Shane left the room.
Shane went to the door and when he opened it, he gasped at who was standing there.
“Surprise, I bet you never expected to see me, now did you, stud,” Rex Stanford, one of Shane’s ex-lovers said. “Mmmmm, I even see that you were expecting me,” he said, noticing how flimsily the robe covered Shane’s body.
Rex stepped into the room and pulled Shane’s body to him, and kicking the door closed with his foot. Before Shane could say a word or push Rex away, Rex stormed Shane’s mouth with his own.
“Who was at… oh, God, how stupid I was…” Kyle yelled and stormed past the two embracing men and out the door.
“Kyle, wait…” but the door slammed in his face, cutting off his words.
“Now who was that cute little morsel, a bit of appetizer while you awaited the main course which is me?” Rex asked.
Shane opened the door and looked in both directions in the hall for Kyle, but he was gone. He turned back to Rex, and grabbed him by the shirt, thrusting him out of the room and into the hall.
“I told you the last time that we were together that I never wanted to see you again,” Shane yelled, looking at a stunned Rex, who was rising to his feet.
“Don’t worry, I have no intentions of ever seeing you again, either,” he yelled back and then stormed down the hall.
Shane hurried into the bedroom and quickly dressed. He needed to find Kyle and explain what he had seen. He went out into the night, he gazed around the deck, but Kyle was no where to be found. He looked in the various bars, restaurants and other shops but still, no Kyle. He was leaning against the rail, thinking of where Kyle could be, when he heard the hum of a small boat’s engine. He looked down and saw the launch that was used to transport passengers from the ship to shore, moving quickly away from the ship.
“Kyle!” he called out when he saw him standing against the rail on the boat as it took him away from the ship and also, from Shane.
Kyle’s eyes were red with tears as he gazed out at the water. Twice in a lifetime he had given his heart and soul to Shane, only to find him in the arms of another man.
“Never again, Shane, will you fool me into loving and trusting you,” he bitterly cried.
“Are you alright, sir,” the first mate asked when he came up beside Kyle and noticed his tears.
“No, but I will be once I am on land and heading home,” he snapped and then turned to face the man. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to take my anger and pain out on you.”
“I’m quite use to it, it’s an occupational hazard,” he mused. “I’m Tim, and if it would help, would you care to talk about it?”
“Have you ever had your heart stolen, only to find that the thief was a scoundrel?”
“I can’t say that I have, but then in my line of work, there isn’t much time for love,” he said and then he recognized Kyle. “I know you, or rather I recognize you from the reunion this evening. Wasn’t it you and that model, I forget his name that announced that you were both gay and getting married?”
“One in the same, but the marriage part is not going to happen.”
“Why not, not that it’s any of my business, but you look distraught and contemplating jumping over the rail?”
“I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of jumping and ending my life. He’s a cheat and always was and always will be a cheat, and I was a fool to think that he loved me.”
“Wow, talk about a woman scorned, you could give a woman lessons on… I’m sorry, that was very wrong of me to say,” he said and turned to walk away.
“Please don’t leave, I don’t want to be alone at the moment,” Kyle said as he grabbed the man’s arm.
“I’m…”
“Kyle Hibbard, I know, I asked around about you and… well I inquired about your name. As I said, I’m Tim, Timothy Johansson, and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Kyle.” His smile was warm, infectious and it touched all the way up to his eyes.
“You have a sexy smile, Tim, but then I guess you hear that a lot.”
“Not as much as I would like to, especially from a guy that means it with all sincerity as you do,” he said and blushed.
Kyle took a long, hard look at Tim and liked what he saw. He thought that if Shane could play the cheating game, so could he.
“So are you heading back once you drop me off?”
“No, I have a small apartment on the island and the captain said that I could have a few days off before we sail back to Florida,” he said and noticed how Kyle was looking at him. “Do you have a place to go once we arrive at port?”
“No, I was going to find a taxi and go to the airport, why, are you inviting me back to your place, Tim?”
“Kinda, but I don’t want you to think that I was taking advantage of your vulnerability by asking.”
“Who’s vulnerable, surely not me,” Kyle said, knowing very well what he would be once he stepped into Tim’s apartment; he’d be inviting something that he wasn’t sure he wanted or even willing to do. “Maybe on second thought, I should just go directly to the airport and wait for a flight back to Massachusetts.”
“If you are worried about me, don’t be, I know that you are hurting and I’d hate to be a rebound for you.”
“I’m worried about me, because right now you look delicious, Tim. I also don’t believe that two wrongs make a right also. But thank you for the offer, I do appreciate it.”
Once the boat docked at the landing, Kyle gave Tim a hug and walked off to find a taxi. He found one about to go off duty and took it to the airport.
* * *
As soon as the shuttle boat arrived back at the ship, Shane boarded it.
“You’re Shane Bradley?” Tim asked.
Tim also believed that two wrongs did not make a right, and decided to go back to the ship to alert Shane on Kyle’s plans.
“Yes, why?” he asked.
“I just met your other half and… well he’s hurting big time over what happened,” Tim shared.
“It was all a misunderstanding,” Shane told him.
“All guys caught in the act of cheating say that, Shane.”
“First off, who the fuck are you, and what business is it of yours to lecture me?”
“I’m Tim, and I work for the cruise line. Secondly, Kyle told me that he caught you cheating. I know it’s none of my business, but I could tell that he’s still in love with you. I even made a pass and he shot me down, so if you are not lying about cheating on him, he’s taken a taxi to the airport.”
“I’m not lying about cheating; an old lover of mine visited my cabin tonight and as soon as he stepped into my cabin, he pulled me to him and kissed me. Before I could break away, Kyle came into the room and found us.”
“Damn, I can see now why he would think you were cheating, but did he even think that why would you cheat with him in the same cabin?”
“Exactly, so while I was getting rid of Rex — he’s the guy I was caught with — Kyle stormed out of the cabin and left for shore.”
“I doubt that at this hour, you’ll find a taxi, but I have a friend who has a car and I’ll take you there,” he offered.
“I really appreciate it, Tim.”
As soon as the boat docked, both men took off running for the car that Tim would borrow, which was parked at the dock.
“Where’s your friend?” Shane asked looking around the deserted lot.
“He’s still on board ship working, but I know where he hides the key,” he said and reached under the back bumper, searching for the magnetic box which held the key. “Got it,” he shouted and pulled the key from the box.
He unlocked the doors and once on the road, Shane began to cry. He told Tim his and Kyle’s story and by the time he was done explaining their past, they had arrived at the airport.
“Good luck, Shane, I hope it all works out for you. Just in case it doesn’t, here’s my cell phone number,” he handed a slip of paper with his number scribbled on it to Shane.
“Thanks,” Shane leapt from the car and ran as fast as his feet would take him into the terminal.
Most of the airline booths were closed for the night, but one, American Airlines, was just closing and Shane hurried over to the booth.
“Excuse me, but do you have a flight leaving tonight for Florida,” he asked the handsome young man.
“We do, but it’s already boarding and I doubt that you’ll have enough time to catch it.”
Shane was frustrated and leaned his arms on the counter, with his elbow depressing the loud speaker’s button.
“I need you to stop the plane from leaving,” he begged and his words went out over the airwaves for all to hear.
“I can’t unless there was a dire emergency, sir.”
“But this is a dire emergency, my future husband is on board and I need him to stay and listen to me. He saw something tonight that appeared to be one thing, but in reality, it wasn’t what it appeared to be. I love him more than life and without his love, I’m nothing.”
“Ah, he caught you in the arms of another person,” the clerk judged.
“Yes, but it wasn’t willingly that I was there; he surprised me and before I could push him away, we were embracing and he kissed me. This is what Kyle saw and it was a willing kiss or hug. Why would I destroy the greatest love that ever was for some jerk that meant nothing to me?” Shane asked.
“Oh, God, what a horrible mistake,” the clerk agreed. “But there is nothing that I can do to stop the plane, sir.”
“Then my life is over, my future as black as the night outside,” he said, turned and began to walk away.
* * *
Kyle slid into his seat and buckled up the seat belt. He was staring out the window when a woman took the seat beside him.
“Hello, are you going back to Florida also,” the young blond asked.
‘No, I’m just sitting here to warm up the seat for another passenger,’ he wanted to say, but said instead, “Yes.”
“Did you hear that man that was talking over the PA system, my God, I’d love to find a keeper like that,” she said.
“What man, I never heard anyone talking,” he grumbled and turned back to the window as she droned on about what the man was saying.
“This is your captain, please fasten your seatbelts and make sure that your trays are in the upright position and all carry-on bags are secured overhead in the compartments provided. We’ll be departing within ten minutes.
* * *
As Shane walked toward the exit, his eyes filled with tears, and by the time he stepped outside, the tears were falling like rain down his cheeks. He leaned against the terminal wall and slid down to the ground, crying, knowing that he’d never get another chance with Kyle.
When he finally regained his composure, he looked at his watch. He’d been there for nearly an hour, crying and feeling sorry for himself. He got up, looked around for a taxi and after much searching for one, gave up and called Tim.
“Tim, this is Shane, would you mind terribly coming to get me at the airport, please?” he asked.
“I take it by the sound of your voice that you either missed Kyle or he didn’t believe you.”
“He was gone when I got here.”
“I’ll be there in a few, Shane,” he assured him.
Twenty minutes later, Tim pulled up to the curb and Shane walked slowly over and got into the car.
“I’m really sorry, Shane, because you two made one hot looking couple,” he told Shane.
“The key word there is made, as in past tense, Tim. But thanks,” he groaned.
“I doubt that you’ll catch a launch back to the ship at this hour, but I can put you up at my place until morning,” Tim suggested, placing his hand on Shane’s thigh.
“If you are hitting on me, Tim, forget it, because I’m not interested in anyone but Kyle,” he pushed Tim’s hand away and turned his head to look out the window.
“I was hoping that you would say that, I’ll call the ship when we arrive at the dock for a launch to pick you up,” he told him.
“Ah… testing me to see if I was that low life snake that Kyle said I was, huh,” Shane looked over at a grinning Tim, who nodded.
“I had to see for myself, because if you had been a cheater, it wouldn’t have mattered to you if you missed Kyle, you would have jumped at a chance in bed with a guy.”
“You are pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Not really, but I’ve never had a problem picking up a dude for sex, is all. I’ll admit it, I’d love to have a threesome with you and Kyle, you guys are fucking hot.”
“Sorry, but there’ll be no threesome or anything else, bud.”
Tim pulled the car into the lot, replaced the key to where he had found it and walked Shane over to the dock. He pulled out his cell and called the ship.
“The launch will be here in a few, it seems we just missed it, they left about ten minutes ago with another passenger that needed to re-board the ship.”
“Thanks Tim, I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me,” he said and gave him a hug. “It was over and above what is expected of you.”
“Nah, it’s nothing and I’d like to think that had it been reversed, someone would have done it for me.”
They hugged again and Tim walked off. Ten minutes later, the launch arrived and Shane boarded. He sat quietly as it took him back to the ship. He ignored the crew when they tried to start up a conversation with him. His heart was breaking and he was not interested in talk, he wanted his Kyle.
“Have a good evening, sir,” the captain said once they arrived at the ship and Shane left the launch.
“You too,” was all he said as he walked away.
When he returned to his stateroom, he found it eerily quiet. He flicked on the light and went to his balcony to think. But his thoughts did not come easily, for he was emotionally, exhausted. He sighed and swallowed the lump in his throat, fearing that he would again start crying.
He left the balcony, closed the light and stepped into the bedroom, where he stripped in the darkness of the night.
“Oh, God, why did you let him slip away again?” he cried out as the pain in his heart threatened to claim his senses. He cried and fell down on the bed, his chest heaving as his mind saw only Kyle and his beautiful smile.
“Shhhh, I’ve got you sweetheart,” came a whisper and Shane flew from the bed, alarmed that Rex had returned again in his absence.
Shane clicked on the light and gasped when he saw Kyle lying on the bed smiling at him with his arms stretched to him. Shane flung himself on the bed and into Kyle’s arms. He cried, but now they were tears of overwhelming joy.
“I thought that I had lost you forever, Kyle.”
“So did I, but it seems that some man at the airport poured out his heart over the PA system,” he said and then told him all that the lady beside him had told him.
Kyle’s arms went around Shane’s broad shoulders to draw him closer. His fingers found the soft hairs that curled at his nape and lingered to explore the contrast between his hard, warm skin and cool, auburn hair.
“I was wrong not to stay and listen to you, but I let my fears from so many years ago, dictate to my heart that you had once again betrayed me,” Kyle confessed.
“I promise you, here and now, that I will never again allow such thoughts to enter that cute little head of yours by being the perfect mate that you’ll ever have or need.”
“Then maybe it’s time that you proved to me that you do still have an imagination after all,” Kyle murmured huskily.
Shane’s fingers burned Kyle’s skin where they touched him, setting tiny fires in the aftermath of his touch.
“Maybe it is,” Shane whispered.
Lovingly he grazed Kyle’s nipples with his hand, kneading the muscled mounds as his thumbs tweaked the tender nubs. “They’re so hard,” he muttered thickly as he caressed the tips of Kyle’s pointed nipples with his fingertips.
“Oh, Shane, they get that way whenever I think about you.” Shane chuckled softly against Kyle’s neck.
“Is that all you do — sit around and think about sex?”
“I wasn’t thinking about sex, I was thinking about you and how much I love you.”
“And there is a difference?”
“Someday, Shane, I’ll explain it to you, but now I just want to love you.”
“I want that, too, more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” He hugged Kyle fiercely as he held him tightly. “Sweetheart, there’ll never be anyone but you, for me.”
Kyle looked at him with a sudden tearing pain. It took great effort to make his voice light. “There’d better not be, mister.”
Shane’s mouth pressed hotly against Kyle’s, and Kyle felt himself surrendering willingly to Shane. His kiss was long and hard, his lovemaking carried him out of himself on glorious wings of fire. For half a moment they were still, each clinging to the wonder of the other. Then Shane kissed him again, even harder than before as he drew Kyle down to the softness of the bed. Kyle responded to Shane, not only with his lips, but with his whole body, his whole being. At last he was no longer afraid of the love and the soaring passion he’d always felt for Shane.
At last Shane had found what he’d spent a lifetime searching for, someone to love and be loved by, he’d found it once before, ten years ago with Kyle and had lost it. He’d found it again, and he knew without a doubt, that he would never lose it or be alone again.
“Does this mean that we are finally going to stop fighting each other and discover what passion…our passion, means?” Shane asked.
“You mean there is more passion to be…”
Kyle’s words were stifled when Shane muffled his words with his mouth. His hard kiss annihilated every feeling except Kyle’s volcanic need for Shane. His anger…his fear and distrust of Shane dissolved, as if it had never existed. Kyle had wanted Shane for so long, and he’d fought the wanting of him for just as long.
Every nerve ending in his body reveled in the fierceness of Shane’s building desire for him. Kyle wanted Shane’s strength and wildness; he wanted to feel his powerful body on him…in him.
Sensual longing flamed under the skilled persuasion of Shane’s mouth. His tongue was inside Kyle’s mouth, tasting him, exploring him. A glowing heat spread through Kyle’s veins. He’d thought he had forgotten how it had once been between them, but he’d been wrong. Shane’s kiss brought back their past with all its scorching passion and intensity. Kyle’s heart throbbed with its old ache, as well as a new one, and he felt himself surrendering to Shane’s love. There was no way he could any longer deny to himself how Shane stirred him.
Shane sensed that the last barrier between them had finally been removed; he felt it in Kyle’s body, in the subtle trembling Shane felt holding him.
Into this flaming paradise of Kyle’s aroused senses, a lazy voice drawled, “At one point I had thought that I had lost you forever.” Shane whispered.
“For a time, you had, Shane, but never again will I allow my foolish fears to overrule my heart.”
“Sweetheart,” he murmured hoarsely before he began to kiss him again with such wild violence that Kyle felt faint and so deliciously dizzy that he was soon clinging to Shane more tightly than before. Even his heart beat in the same tempo as Shane’s and all the faster in anticipation of Shane’s love making.
Shane’s tongue invaded Kyle’s mouth, and he met it with the tip of his own. Kyle’s hands curved around Shane’s neck to twine the curling tendrils of his hair though his fingers with mindless need. He wanted to touch him, to know every part of him again.
At last, Shane’s mouth left his to trace a hot path along his cheek to his earlobe. When he began to nibble lightly on the edge of Kyle’s lobe, he felt the exquisite shock wave of sensation in every part of his body. Then his mouth slid to Kyle’s throat, kissing the mad drumbeat that pulsated against Shane’s mouth. He stopped finally, resting against Kyle for a moment, his harsh, uneven breaths hot against the skin of Kyle’s throat. Kyle could feel the depth of Shane’s passion in the light trembling that shook his hands as he crushed Kyle against him.
Suddenly Kyle felt triumph, too. Shane was just as much under Kyle’s power as he was under Shane’s. Then Shane’s mouth sought Kyle’s again, and his kiss robbed Kyle of every emotion other than the spiraling passion that he knew could no longer be denied.
“Could you ever love me again like you once did?” Shane suddenly asked out of the blue.
Kyle’s eyes flew to his; a warm flush of pleasure ran through him, a terrifying longing that was astonishing in its intensity. Shane’s face was unreadable. He’d stopped all of his attention to Kyle’s body, was he teasing him, Kyle wondered.
“No,” he simply said and a long pause enveloped Shane’s thoughts and then Kyle smiled when he saw the hurt in Shane’s beautiful eyes. “I can’t love you as before, because I love you so much stronger now,” he whispered.
“I should slap you for making me fear that you still didn’t trust me enough to fully love me,” he said lifting up and gazing down at Kyle.
Suddenly Kyle wanted to run, but he was trapped in Shane’s powerful arms. Shane felt Kyle’s tension, his terror, and he had evidently misread the wildness in Kyle’s eyes.
“I’d never hit… not intentionally,” he mused.
“Why you…” Shane’s kiss stopped his words and stole his breath.
“Kyle, I love you, you love me, and that has to be enough.”
It would be enough for Kyle, because all that he had ever wanted was it all from Shane. Not just the sex, but the ins and outs of everyday living as well. The good times where their love was strong and also the times when they would argue and fight, because it was then that their love would be strongest.
Kyle shot him a brilliant smile, “Oh, Shane,” he whispered in agreement, but Shane needed to hear the words.
A fingertip tilted Kyle’s chin, and Kyle was forced to look straight at Shane. He had the oddest expression on his face, as if everything Kyle had said had baffled him.
“You don’t want to love me…do you?” Shane stated not asked.
What could he say, Shane had totally misread him? Afraid to look at him for fear of laughing, Kyle looked away.
“Well?” he asked.
“I’ll admit to not wanting this when I first arrived on board ship, but...”
“But what?” he asked.
A sob of pain clogged Kyle’s throat. Before he could answer, Shane swept him into his arms and kissed him roughly, his mouth more brutal than it had ever been before. It was as if he wanted to possess Kyle completely. As if he wanted to burn his maleness into Kyle’s soul and drive out all Kyle’s resistance toward him, away.
Shane held Kyle so close that he could feel the blistering warmth of his hard-muscled belly burning into his skin. Above the tangy fragrance of his aftershave, Kyle caught the musky scent that was Shane’s alone…man.
As suddenly as Shane had kissed him, he let Kyle go and, without saying another word, took his hand in his, kissing it.
Again, Shane completely caught him off guard with his words. “But what,” he said, smoothing a stray tendril of hair from Kyle’s forehead and gazing into those eyes that captivated his very soul. “I just want you to know, that I’m here for you, Kyle, to be your friend first and foremost and then...”
There was something in Shane that cried to come out, but Kyle had yet to put a finger on what it was.
“I don’t want you just for sex, Kyle, although sex with you is awesome, but I want it all from you, your love, your fears and even your doubts.”
Shane was loving, and he sounded almost … almost vulnerable. Kyle knew that this time that Shane would not stay his passion for him but give him all and then some that he desired from him.
Shane’s mouth was on Kyle’s in a hard and demanding kiss. For an instant, Kyle tensed, and then he bent his head back and let Shane kiss him. Shane crushed Kyle’s body against his, and Kyle was kissing him as hungrily as Shane kissed him, lips trembling and opening to accept the invasion of his tongue. They tasted each other, drank each other, Kyle knew that very soon he would find the completeness in Shane’s arms that he ached for, for years. Shane was the first man he’d ever known and would be the last.
“You are quite something when you finally get around to being you,” Kyle murmured.
It didn’t matter what he said or how he teased Shane. Wanting to have Shane’s lips on his again, Kyle kissed him a second time. His fingers moved over Shane’s body, seeking to caress his skin. Kyle’s hand moved slowly down Shane’s torso until his hand was caressing the warmth of his hardness. As his hands glided up, Kyle felt the prickly matting of hair that covered Shane’s chest. He heard the harsh sound of Shane’s breath as he adjusted Kyle’s body to his. Kyle’s own breathing was just as ragged.
“Oh, Shane…” Kyle whispered, “…it always had to be … you … that I needed … and wanted.” The words were whispered stutteringly against Shane’s lips as he clung to Shane as if he would never let him go.
“I’m here; I’ll always be here for you, Kyle.” He whispered also against his lips.
His mouth devoured Kyle’s, his hands slid to his chest, touching the firm peaks that hardened even more as his palms brushed them. Kyle’s entire being quickened under Shane’s expert titillation. Shane kissed Kyle’s throat, licked and nibbled the tip of his earlobe as Kyle stroked him, molding his body to his. Every sensation Shane evoked was so exquisitely delicious that Kyle moaned helplessly.
Shane pulled away and grabbed Kyle’s hand, “Don’t stop, Shane,” Kyle pleaded.
“I’m not stopping,” he muttered thickly, pausing to bury his lips in Kyle’s hair, one last time. Kyle felt Shane shudder, “Not for long, anyway.”
Shane knelt beside Kyle, looking down into his eyes and asked, “I assume that you do want me and are willing to marry me,” he inquired.
“Yes, Shane, I want you more than words can express. So why the doubts?” he replied.
Kyle’s thoughts were a blur as Shane reached for him, putting his arm around his waist and pulling Kyle to him. Shane kissed the curve of Kyle’s jaw, beneath his ear, moving his mouth slowly until their lips found each other.
“Because I want the captain to marry us tonight, before anything can steal away our happiness,” Shane confessed and kissed him.
There was a certain kind of possessiveness in Shane’s hard kiss, the unconscious mastery of a man who had finally found his mate. In the wild, primitive explosion that shook them, every barrier that had separated them dissolved. They were two men who’d been incomplete until that very moment, and never again would they fall back into their old uncomfortable habits.
In an instant Shane had Kyle beneath him and was gazing into those azure pools that were his eyes. Kyle was a god to him and his blue eyes beckoned Shane, they were promising eyes that spoke more than words could ever convey.
Kyle looked up at the man who towered over him; he reached out and touched his body…a great monolith of a man, uncompromisingly male and completely aroused.
Kyle gazed at Shane’s sensuous, muscular body in wonder. “I’d forgotten how lovely you were,” he whispered in awe.
“Lovely?” he grinned at Kyle’s choice of words.
Shane groaned as Kyle’s fingers circled him. “You’ll do,” Kyle managed to say on a breathless note before Shane lifted him in his arms and pulled him fully beneath him.
“I’ll do what?”
“You’ll do for the next sixty or so years while you prove to me that I am yours,” he blushed as Shane smiled knowingly at him.
Shane was atop Kyle, his powerful body seeking Kyle’s with a greedy, all-consuming passion. He forced his legs apart with his knee. As desperate as he, Kyle eagerly guided Shane’s sex to him.
Shane thrust inside him, and Kyle clung to him, his need as urgent as Shane’s. Shane’s mouth captured his again, and he kissed Kyle fiercely, welcoming him, crying out, and whimpering.
Then, after long, sensuous minutes, Kyle could stand it no longer, he was suddenly spiraling in a blaze of glory as Shane thrust into Kyle one last time, even harder than before and paused. Shane held his sex buried deep in Kyle as his seed spewed forth with an aggressive force. Kyle shuddered, his body shook as his own climax erupted as strongly as Shane’s, bursting forth between their sweat-sleek bodies, each man writhing and thrusting as their climax consumed their bodies…their senses.
Afterward, they lay in the silent darkness of the shadows, their bodies coiled in a tight embrace, their minds far apart and yet together as one.
Kyle had not planned to share this with Shane, not when he had agreed to come on the cruise. Nor did he ever plan to remove his walls that he so carefully and painstakingly erected around his heart to protect him from Shane. But he hadn’t expected Shane to attack those walls, either. Shane removed each brick expertly, removing them one by one until Kyle’s naked heart lay vulnerable to him once again.
Shane could feel Kyle’s heart still pounding wildly against that of his own. He had purposed in his own heart that he would never allow himself to be taken, consumed or lay vulnerable again to Kyle, but he had surrendered, no he had willingly given his heart to Kyle without a fight.
“I love you Kyle… let’s find the captain and have him marry us,” Shane said as he propped himself up on an elbow. “I love you and need you in my life. I was only half a man without you.”
“As was I without you, Shane,” he paused and drew in a deep breath before speaking. “But this time, I need to know that you meant it when you told me all those things.”
“You did mean it when you said yes to marrying me?” he asked Kyle.
“I did then, but now…”
“What now?” he asked. “I love you and I want to make all your tomorrows like today.”
“I love you, too, but marry you? Don’t you think we ought to see if we can get along out of bed as well as we do in it? After all, you and I live in two totally different worlds now.”
“I’m not worried about us getting along out of bed, because I intend to keep you in bed until we are both old, bald and too fat to do anything but sleep in bed.”
“That may be true for you, mister, but I want more than sleep when I am old and lying beside you in our bed.”
“I was a fool, Kyle, a fool ten years ago to let your father make me leave you. I should have stayed and fought for you, and not run like a wounded animal. I loved you so much.”
“I know, I read the letter that my dad gave you.”
“But did you truly understand what he meant, what he threatened?”
“Yes, babe, I understood it all. Whenever I would bring up your name from having read about you in the paper or some magazine, he would always call you a loser. Sweetheart, I was the one who was the loser; I lost my very soul that day you left me.”
“So, does this mean that you’ll marry me, Kyle?”
“Yes, Shane, I’ll marry you and hold you to your word.”
“My word?” he asked.
“Yes, your word — your word to keep me in bed until we are…” his words were cut off when Shane stormed his mouth is a passion-filled kiss.
They were married that next morning by the captain and sailed off into the sunset that night, to live happily ever after.
The end (of the REAL beginning).
Posted: 04/04/14