Spammer by Anel Viz

“Spammer”

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

(Author’s note: In keeping with the theme of Internet spam, I have not given the main character of this story a name.)

15. Outings

For the remainder of the academic year the Campus Gay and Lesbian Association actively courted Norm as a former drop dead gorgeous womanizer (an exaggeration) who had suddenly discovered his bisexuality (which he hadn’t) and come out (which he hadn’t done either). He said he didn’t see why people finding out he was gay should mean that he had to make a whole new set of friends. Some of the more fanatical members seemed put out by his lack of interest in broadcasting his sexual orientation, which made no sense since it had quickly become common knowledge anyway.

When word got around that Winona sometimes joined him and his lover, the club had a heated debate on whether or not they should ask her to join too. They voted against it, on the grounds that it might give them a too sexually oriented image. Winona found that extremely funny, funnier than nearly a quarter of the men on campus hitting on her to be the second woman in their fantasy three-way. “I tried it once,” she confided to Norm, “and it just didn’t do it for me. But I would have loved to be this year’s GLBT poster girl.”

All in all, Norm was glad when the semester came to an end, sure that it all would have blown over by fall. He looked forward to an uneventful summer, but it wasn’t to be.

Joel got busted. After nearly fifty years in the closet he got caught making a grab for a cop’s dick in a public john. How reckless and stupid can a guy be?

They were out of town, gone on a fishing trip. It was the height of summer, Norm was back in Austin for the last summer before his senior year, and he had taken his annual two weeks off. By the time they got back, Joel had been in and out of court, been given his five years’ probation and umpteen hours of community service, and had moved into a dingy room at the edge of town while his wife filed for divorce.

He heard all about it at work; what else would everybody be talking about. Joel sat alone, the only one at his table, and didn’t even look at him getting an earful from the others over lunch.

He told Norm what had happened when he got back from work. Norm looked as if he’d been punched in the stomach. He sat down and whispered, “He won’t blab about us, will he? No, of course he won’t. It was selfish of me to even think it. Poor Joel! What’s he gonna do now?”

“Adjust and get on with his life, what’s left of it. What choice does he have?”

“I feel terrible.”

“If it happened, it means it was bound to sooner or later. There’s nothing we can do.”

“I’m not gonna snub him. It wouldn’t be honest.”

“Since when have we been honest? Life in the closet isn’t honest. You know that. We can’t have him over again. Not ever.”

“I didn’t mean ask him over. Just not snub him. You know, act friendly when we see him, like his personal life is none of our business and we’re not gonna dump him and treat him like some kind of leper.”

“Yeah, if we see him. He’s not showing his face except when he absolutely has to.”

The company picnic was that weekend. Naturally, Norm went to it, as a former employee and the closest of friend of someone who’d worked there over twenty years. Joel stayed away.

It made no difference. Hardly anyone talked about anything else anyway. They might even have talked less about him if he’d gone.

Gus and Barney mostly made very off-color wisecracks; Francine was indignant. She called him lower than dirt.

“To me it’s no big deal,” Norm said. “Give the guy a break, will ya? So he’s gay. What of it? I used to think different before I went away to college, but I’ve met a lot of gays and lesbians at Winona State, and believe me, they’re just like everybody else.”

“I couldn’t care less that he’s gay,” Francine snapped back. “What ticks me off is that he got married and then cheated on her. I don’t know what’s worse, pretending to your wife that you’re something you’re not or being unfaithful to her. Some of still think marriage is sacred, you know.”

“So if someone was gay and unmarried so he had no wife to cheat on, you’d be OK with that?”

“Wouldn’t bat an eyelash.”

“Would you bat an eyelash if I told you I was gay?”

She didn’t.

“You two? Do you think I didn’t figure that out years ago? If same sex marriage was legal in this State I’d be your matron of honor.”

Gus and Barney, it seems, had not figured it out.

“He didn’t say he was, Francine, he said, if he told you he was.”

“You’re right, Barney, except that was my way of telling her.”

“Holy shit! Is everyone turning gay on us?”

“Shut up, Gus. This is their coming out picnic. Don’t you go spoiling it for us. Take a deep breath of fresh air, guys. How does it feel to be out of the closet finally?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Francine. Unexpected, I suppose.”

“Look, if you want to side with Joel, that’s you’re right. I can see why you would, all things considered. You too...” She hesitated before saying his name. “...partner.”

“Not side with him, Francine,” he said. “Support him, or at least not rag on him. Joel’s lost everything. His wife, his kids, his friends, his house, his standing in the community, his good name... I could go on forever. What he did was wrong, but he’s paying for it a thousand times over. It’s not like he murdered someone.”

“Or raped them,” Norm added.

He cast a knowing stare at Norm. “Or was an accomplice to any of those crimes,” he said.

“Touché.”

“What the hell are you two guys talking about,” Gus asked. “You see, it’s true! Gays do have a language of their own!”

“Anyway, Francine, if we gave a party or something and Joel was gonna be there, would you come?”

“No, not the way I feel now.”

With no hesitation, Gus answered, “I would.”

“Me too,” said Barney, “but not if there wasn’t gonna be no women. People might get the wrong idea if it was all men.”

Surprisingly, their longstanding affair caused less of a fuss in Austin than it had in Winona. People who knew them said, “You’re shittin’ me!” and let it go at that; those who didn’t either said “Yeah, guess you can find ’em in small towns too” or didn’t say anything. Norm’s father disowned him, and declared that that’s what happens to kids who go away to college. Unlike Joel’s outing, it was, in short, a non-event.

Posted: 12/05/08